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Feeling discouraged and ashamed!



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I feel really discouraged and ashamed of myself. I feel the need to come "clean" I'm not looking for people to be critical... just to know im not alone.... I had gotten to my highest weight of 260 in June... I had my surgery June 21 2010. I haven't lost any weight since november... I am down 50 pounds (which I am excited about). I have gotten down to the size i was in high school so i just stopped watching what i was eating... I have good restriction but often find myself eating all the wrong foods... ( or drinking chocolate milk which i know isnt good in calories/fat). I feel that maybe I have gotten comfortable... I dont know if it is a fear of what is to come... I have never been smaller than I am now... and like every diet i get back to this size and stop... I dont want to that this time!!! I have realized that i have not lost weight because of my decisions... not because the band has failed me.. I just feel the need to get this off my chest so I can start fresh!!! For the past week I am back on track and excited! I just want to know if this is just a mental thing I'm going through and am alone... or if there is other people like me that this has happened to... I'm so ready to get this ball rolling again!!!!!!:D

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Yup, that was me too! I had lost 70+ pounds after I was banded in Sept. of 09. Then in June of 10, I got lazy--was traveling for work, enjoying vacation, etc...Dessert--why not? So, I didn't gain but I didn't lose either. I had NO motivitation to continue. However, after almost 4 months, I realized I wasn't doing what I set out to do and had a "come to Jesus" talk with myself. Purchased some books on lapband success stories to keep me motivated, went back to the gym and this week hit the 100 pound loss mark.

I think this type of behavior is fairly normal throughout this journey. We have to rebel and then learn to give up what we used to go in order to proceed forward toward a new life.

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One more thing--what really keeps me accountable is that I document everything I eat. I use Lose It in my iPhone. By logging everything you eat is the only way to be held to the standards you want to meet. Lose It also has a web based version for those that don't have iPhones but there are other sites too like Spark People and Livestrong.

Good luck on getting your ball rolling. You can do it. Lastly, do NOT be ashamed. You are taking control of your diet again and should be proud for all you have lost so far!

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Thanks for replying... I really needed just to hear that this does happen to other people. I am not perfect by any means and this is hard, but i am going to do it!!!!

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you have already empowered yourself by starting again. So you hit a hole in the road. You have picked yourself up out of the hole and are now going forward again and that is what matters most. I learned a very valuable lesson a month or so ago and that was to forgive myself. Stop beating myself up...recognize that I am human and I am going to make mistakes, however, what matters is that I pick myself up stop self fulfilling my destruction, my weakness and move forward. No need to be ashamed...why be ashamed about the fact that you are human?

Keep on track and learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself and continue towards your goal!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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