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Anyone having trouble "seeing" themselves thin?



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I've been fat since I was 12, I'm 40 now. My mom asked me to think about how I'm going to look this time next year and I just can't picture it. I've not been thin since I was a child. The closest I ever got was when I got down to 200lbs in college and I thought that was pretty good. My husband married me at 250lbs my kids have only known me at this weght. I just don't know what I'm going to do with a thin me.

My BFF of 30 years asked me today if I was going to stop being her friend becuase I won't be fat anymore, she weighs the same as I do but is only 5'1" and I am 5'7". She's already not talking to me as much, she doesn't want me to do this, she doesnt' want to be the last fat friend,she's talked me out of this twice before, but not this time. When I was diagnosed with Hight blood pressure on my 40th birthday, I said enough , I'm doing this. My surgery is in 6 days.

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Aww she shouldn't be angry! Maybe if she sees your success she'll be motivated to do it too.

I can't picture me either, I'm 25, and I've been larger for as long as I can remember. I honestly can't remember being under 200 pounds. I'm not worried about it, I'm excited to shop for new clothes and do exciting things I couldn't do because I was overweight.

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I entered pre-K as the fat kid. Every picture of me is fat after my toddler years. I have always struggled with my weight.

Prior to surgery (I was banded 6 mo ago) I couldn't picture me thin. I wanted to be back to my "normal" weight and surprisingly I'm already there. I had no idea what my normal weight was as I avoided scales my entire life. Come to find out, it's about the 290 lbs mark that's normal for me. Forget that!

In the last 6 months I have lost 98 lbs and have about 114 more lbs to get to my goal weight. And the more it comes off, the more I picture it because I'm seeing the results and so fast. And the more that I lose, the more my mind set is changing to boost myself to lose more. I push myself harder and really spend a lot of time focused on me to get to goal weight. But the picture in your head slowly changes.

I'm sorry to hear about your BFF. Insecurity of someone overweight is strong; you remember feeling that way a time or two, right? Try to talk her through it. Friendships should be based on a lot more than what the other weighs, try to focus on some of the other things you guys have in common to keep the friendship alive. It's my best advise.... after seeing my success thus far, my BFF is pre-op sleeve. I'm SO thrilled for her.

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I've been fat since I was 12, I'm 40 now. My mom asked me to think about how I'm going to look this time next year and I just can't picture it. I've not been thin since I was a child. The closest I ever got was when I got down to 200lbs in college and I thought that was pretty good. My husband married me at 250lbs my kids have only known me at this weght. I just don't know what I'm going to do with a thin me.

My BFF of 30 years asked me today if I was going to stop being her friend becuase I won't be fat anymore, she weighs the same as I do but is only 5'1" and I am 5'7". She's already not talking to me as much, she doesn't want me to do this, she doesnt' want to be the last fat friend,she's talked me out of this twice before, but not this time. When I was diagnosed with Hight blood pressure on my 40th birthday, I said enough , I'm doing this. My surgery is in 6 days.

I had a post JUST like this a couple weeks ago. I've been heavy as long as I can remember. I guess there is a picture of me at like 4 when I wasn't but after that, as long as I can remember I was chunky. I was about 260 in college and my husband married me at about 270/275. Picuring myself smaller is a stretch but what I was told is - don't think so much about how you will look (although that is so exciting). Think about how you will feel. How much easier it'll be to bend over and pick up something off the ground or try your shoes or cross your legs - something I dont' think I've ever done. How exciting it'll be to shop at normal stores, buy the cute clothes... I'll be 30 in a week and these are some of my motivators. Not to mention the HEALTH BENEFITS!

And as far as your friend goes, I have learned that there are times in life when you have to be okay with being selfish. You are doing what is right for you. Embrace that! Hopefully she will come around the to the idea of you being healthier. Encourage her on the way. Maybe she too will decide to change her life for the better.

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That's the thing with me too. I feel as a child I was a little heavy, but did not start gaining a lot of weight til I was 15, and I am 28 now so I have never been a skinny adult, so I have no idea what I will look like. SO yeah, I can't really picture it.

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It's so great to know im not alone! Im 25 and 6ft and dont remember being anything smaller than a size 14. I suck in my face to try.and get.a feel lol :D

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This thread has been eye opening. I honestly couldn't put my feelings into words but that is exactly how I feel. Since starting this journy I have been trying to figure out how I will look and I cannot see it at all and at times that gets discouraging. I think if I could see myself thin that I would see more of a light at the end of the tunnel. Much like many of you have written, I am 30, have been large all my life. Its amazing to read that others are feeling the same way. It makes me feel more normal if that makes any sense. So thank you.

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My BFF of 30 years asked me today if I was going to stop being her friend becuase I won't be fat anymore, she weighs the same as I do but is only 5'1" and I am 5'7". She's already not talking to me as much, she doesn't want me to do this, she doesnt' want to be the last fat friend,she's talked me out of this twice before, but not this time. When I was diagnosed with Hight blood pressure on my 40th birthday, I said enough , I'm doing this. My surgery is in 6 days.

It's strange, but if anything, I find myself gravitating more towards heavier people for friendship after losing weight. I remember how it felt to be overlooked and not really be seen or appreciated. It makes me sad that when I was much younger and thin, I did the same to heavier people, and sometimes even said or did negative things--I definitely learned how much it can hurt. I never want to pass up what might be a beautiful person and a friend, no matter what they look like on the outside. We've all got parts of us that are more or less attractive, inside and out.

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i remember being small in high school and still have pictures of me at 135 graduating looked really sick to me. i have a picture of me at 150 that i love. when i talk to people they say i am trying to capture my youth again. i tell them " i aint old yet, i am 38 but my health is more important to me than remaining the size i am now." I have my boys and family to think about too. high blood pressure messed up knees and ankles have helped me make this decision and i am tickled to death. i should have done this two years ago when i first started looking into Lap Band. I am looking forward to getting back on a horse and riding. ready to out hike my boys on camp outs and enjoying the life God intended for me to have. Do i see myself as thin. I sure do because i know this is the best decision i have ever made in my life. Surgery in 10 days and i am ready and prayed up for it.:D

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i still see the "fat" me everytime i look in the mirror. i always wonder if that will go away. the only way i get true confirmation is when i go shopping. fitting into a pair of size 8 SKINNY jeans most definately put a : ) on my face!

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Just the other night my boyfriend and I where talking and he goes you know I can picture you thiner and I said me eather but the good thing is he it totaly behind me on this journey. I am so happy for that and can't wait to see me skinny.

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Just the other night my boyfriend and I where talking and he goes you know I can picture you thiner and I said me eather but the good thing is he it totaly behind me on this journey. I am so happy for that and can't wait to see me skinny.

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I'm having the same problem. I've been fat for so long I don't know how to be skinny (or skinnier). I'm at a job where people didn;t know me at 319lbs (I've been there since I was 240lbs). I walk into a room/restraunt/store and still feel like I'm the biggest one there. I see guys looking at me at think they must be mocking how fat I am, not how hot I am (even though I've had several men hit on me, including the parent of one of my students). I still have a hard time going to the "normal" sized stores. DH asked why (this weekend), and I said I knew it was a ridiculous fear, but I was afraid they were going to laugh at me, mock me, or tell me I didn't "belong" there.

Maybe one day my brain will catch up with my body.

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It's so great to know im not alone! Im 25 and 6ft and dont remember being anything smaller than a size 14. I suck in my face to try.and get.a feel lol :D

I don't recall a time not shopping at Lane Bryant!

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I have been fat almost my whole life and when people ask me what I think I will look like I have no clue. I have never been skinny and don't even know what lies under all this fat. I can only hope that it looks better than the fat suit that is over it.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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