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Need Lap Band Buddy / Mentor just want to be normal and get out of the house



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hi, im looking for a buddy as i have just joined after making the decision to have a LAP-BAND® fitted and im so scared. i know less than nothing and im terrified of getting a surgeon who will mess me up some way for life. i ve been a big girl most of my life but over the last 11 years i just cant go out, im to ashamed to socialise, i feel disgusting. i would be so grateful for someone to guide me a bit and give me the benefit of thier knowledge and i could use a friend to get me through this. it might sound over the top, but i ve reached the point that i dont have a life outside of food which i hate! but cant give up and have said to my hubby that i dont care if there is complications and i die during the operation as i have no life anyway. im sure i sound like a miserable mare but im not, im usually really upbeat and positive but i think that im just at the end of my rope of being the big girl who hides away or who people say " sure havent you a lovley face anyway". im in the uk but would welcome help from anyone kind enough to take the time to give it.

thank you so much. :tongue2::thumbup:

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I am new to this as well. I just had my surgery 7/8/2010. It was the best decision I ever made! I have lost 30+ lbs. thus far and I feel better today than I have in years. I have more energy...I am off my blood pressure meds...diabetes meds...and pain meds due to back pain. I still have 120 lbs. to go before I reach goal but, I am sure that I will get there with the help of this band. It is still hard work and it's not easy sometimes...but, I'm positive you will find if you go through with the surgery...you won't regret it a bit. Just be prepared to deal with the reason you eat...because I found that it wasn't always because I was hungry. You will go through emotions that you have to deal with that before you just stuffed with food....that was the biggest hurdle for me. Good luck and I wish you nothing but the best! =)

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I am new to this as well. I just had my surgery 7/8/2010. It was the best decision I ever made! I have lost 30+ lbs. thus far and I feel better today than I have in years. I have more energy...I am off my blood pressure meds...diabetes meds...and pain meds due to back pain. I still have 120 lbs. to go before I reach goal but, I am sure that I will get there with the help of this band. It is still hard work and it's not easy sometimes...but, I'm positive you will find if you go through with the surgery...you won't regret it a bit. Just be prepared to deal with the reason you eat...because I found that it wasn't always because I was hungry. You will go through emotions that you have to deal with that before you just stuffed with food....that was the biggest hurdle for me. Good luck and I wish you nothing but the best! =)

Hi, i was reading your response to this post, and I wanted to see if you had any advice. I was banded 18 days ago...and as you said, you go through so many emotions that you dealt with before with food, and now u dont have food anymore to deal with it. I have been feeling very down lately, any advice on how you got over those hurdles?

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hi melaniediva1, just a quick message to thank you so much for your kindness replying to me. it gives me so much hope and such a lift! you are so sweet. i didnt think about what you said about eating and emotions, but the minute you said it i thought of all the times i was eating stuff i wasnt tasting, didnt want or need and was busting full, so although i hadnt even thought it really i think its true and as you say very powerful and you need, or i ll need to deal with it too. im very happy that you have come through the operation and are doing so well and long may you keep doing so, i ll be routing for you. so thank you again, i hope we can have the odd chat and would love if you let me know from time to time how you are getting on. mostly im just very pleased for you. it takes guts to go through the operation or any operation and seem a very brave person.

i wish you all the best and hope to hear from you.

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cakey - lots of information here on these forums. Read and learn. I've had my band for 7 months and my life has changed. I NO LONGER focus on food - I focus on life. It has been quite an adjustment, but the band is working, when I work with it.

Dr. Terry Simpson has a website and has performed lots of WL surgeries. Go read about what will be required of you once the band is in place. The band is a tool, but you will still have responsibilities. Not drinking during meals, was a tough one. Making the correct food choices and exercising. Keep reading, then come join the lap banders. A new life awaits.

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hi, im looking for a buddy as i have just joined after making the decision to have a LAP-BAND®® fitted and im so scared. i know less than nothing and im terrified of getting a surgeon who will mess me up some way for life. i ve been a big girl most of my life but over the last 11 years i just cant go out, im to ashamed to socialise, i feel disgusting. i would be so grateful for someone to guide me a bit and give me the benefit of thier knowledge and i could use a friend to get me through this. it might sound over the top, but i ve reached the point that i dont have a life outside of food which i hate! but cant give up and have said to my hubby that i dont care if there is complications and i die during the operation as i have no life anyway. im sure i sound like a miserable mare but im not, im usually really upbeat and positive but i think that im just at the end of my rope of being the big girl who hides away or who people say " sure havent you a lovley face anyway". im in the uk but would welcome help from anyone kind enough to take the time to give it.

thank you so much. :thumbup::smile2:

Hi

I understand how you feel. I was over 300 pounds when I had my surgery and was having a very difficult time getting around. I was avoiding outings because it was difficult to get around. It was embarrassing to try to fly in a plane, and difficult to ride in a car for long periods of time. I had to get saet belt extenders on the plane, and always worried the belt would not fix in a car. Stairs were a nightmare. I always asked for a table at restaruants, so I didn't have too worry about fitting into a booth. Standing for too long was miserable.

I had a difficult time deciding to have the surgery, but finally decide I couldn’t lose so much weight alone. I really needed help.

It’s been just over two years, and I have lost 141 pounds and gained back the lifestyle I want. I have more energy and feel wonderful.

You can do this!!!!! Life doesn’t give guarantees. However, research the doctors in your area, and then make a commitment to make this your priority. It is so worth the effort.

I would be glad to help you through the process.

Karen

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hi, im looking for a buddy as i have just joined after making the decision to have a LAP-BAND® fitted and im so scared. i know less than nothing and im terrified of getting a surgeon who will mess me up some way for life. i ve been a big girl most of my life but over the last 11 years i just cant go out, im to ashamed to socialise, i feel disgusting. i would be so grateful for someone to guide me a bit and give me the benefit of thier knowledge and i could use a friend to get me through this. it might sound over the top, but i ve reached the point that i dont have a life outside of food which i hate! but cant give up and have said to my hubby that i dont care if there is complications and i die during the operation as i have no life anyway. im sure i sound like a miserable mare but im not, im usually really upbeat and positive but i think that im just at the end of my rope of being the big girl who hides away or who people say " sure havent you a lovley face anyway". im in the uk but would welcome help from anyone kind enough to take the time to give it.

thank you so much. :tongue2::thumbup:

Dear Cakey, Hi, I too am in the process of getting banded, I have went thru the informational session, I have went to the appt. with my surgeon and I still have about 3-4 more appts. before the actual surgery, I am 4'11 and my weight is 265, I too feel so ashamed of my self sometime, but we are starting a new journey, my son-in-law just got banded last month, he is doing ok, but as I started this journey, i was excited and then I became scared to death, but my daughter lead me to this website and for now I am so excited it can't happen fast enough. We will be doing this for US, I want to live to reach 100 :) I love life! This website is so helpful to me, so get excited and lets start this new journey as buddies. Hope to hear from you.

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I am really sorry I didn't get back to you sooner! I just now seen this post! If you are still around...I would be more than happy to talk with you. I am on Facebook and you can add me on there. Just send me a message letting me know who you are! LOL...and yes! Life with the lapband gets so much better as time goes on. I really went through a time of anger and depression after first having my surgery. It was a huge adjustment for me mentally. The best way I could describe it to my family was this way...I felt like a crack addict that just got ambushed with an intervention and sent to rehab! I was pissed that I couldn't turn to food anymore! I no longer find "enjoyment" or "comfort" from food here almost 9 mos. post op. I have learned to treat food as it should be treated...as fuel for my body...not a reward, a comforter, a solace...but, just as a neccessary fuel. I now find enjoyment in living life..going on walks with my children...being able to ride go carts or rides at amusement parks without fear of not being able to "fit" in the seats or belts...being able to shop for clothes and not feeling like crying everytime I came out of the dressing room...liking what I see when I put on a bathing suit and not feeling self conscious...not hiding from the camera anymore...wanting to be in the picture! =) ....I look forward to going to the gym...I look forward to stepping on the scale! ...I want to get out of the bed in the morning...I want to move my body...All the anger...All the depression...All the fear...has subsided and I am enjoying my life once again. I have my life back and I look forward to my future! My best advice I can give is to "embrace" the change..."feel" the pain and the feelings you have stuffed with food...life gets better from here! You don't have to "hide" behind your wall of fat anymore...life and health await you! :D

Hi, i was reading your response to this post, and I wanted to see if you had any advice. I was banded 18 days ago...and as you said, you go through so many emotions that you dealt with before with food, and now u dont have food anymore to deal with it. I have been feeling very down lately, any advice on how you got over those hurdles?

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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