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Venting Thread - Erosion Anxiety



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I'm sick, I feel like crap, my stomach is bothering me, I can't explain it, my belly gurgles different, I didn't eat much today, not due to restriction, but due to it feeling "creepy" and weird, I'm concerned about my friends who were unbanded today, I just want to be normal, I've flipped my lid, I "have a feeling" I'm eroded, I hate the suspense, I can't think straight, Penni can't think straight, all I want for Christmas is an At-Home-Erosion-Detector-Kit.

Anyone else got anything to say about potential erosion?

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I'm feeling the same way. My stomach is tied in knots today. I can't stop thinking about the ladies in surgery today, and railing against the unfairness of it all.

I've had heartburn at night the last few days and all I can think is that this is the beginning of the end. It's irrational (I hope), but that's the way I feel. They try to drum home that this is a permanent decision, which freaked me out at first. Now I'm afraid that it's not permanent at all, and I've blown the last month not exercising and not eating properly. I feel a huge time crunch to lose weight.

Good luck with your endo on Wednesday! My positive vibes have been used up today on the surgeries, but I'll be sure to stock back up for you.

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I ate something either too fast or not chewed well enough at lunch today, while out with three other people, excused myself three times to the ladies room, thought I was going to pb (which in my case stands for puked back), like it was coming from my big toe. Needless to say, all I could think of is.... I'm next.

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It all scarey... Im worried about everyone.. erosion, slips, leaks... Oh My!!! Maybe thats why I feel down today, more then normal anyway...

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I'm eroded. I just know it. I can't explain it, I can't prove it. I want the At-Home-Erosion-Detection Kit, too. I try to think positive, I try to figure out why on earth I might be thinking this way (other than the obvious board news lately), and I try to ignore it. Then my tummy hurts after I swallow a bite. The lower tummy, under the band. Maybe I have some kind of virus or worm or something. Everytime I get gas I wonder why I'm gassy. I lay down at night and listen to my bowels gurgle the Water I drink before I go to bed. I think about the hole in my stoma with the band peeking through as I swallow something and my stomach tries to push it through. I wonder if I have some espohogus problems...maybe I have gotten used to some wierd sensation in my throat. I'm going out tonight to get Aloe Vera juice again and I'm going to start taking Prilosec twice a day. I don't know what's wrong. Maybe nothing?

Gatting an endo is a big deal for me. I have several options.

1)fly to TJ and get one for $250. Airfare, hotel, if needed, travel expenses such as tips and food and taxi/bus, traveling alone in TJ (unless I can get a band buddy to meet me there?), all adds up to at least $1000? Worth every penny but lots of time and money.

2) go to my PCP and get a referral for a Gastrointerologist? for an endo. Then all the explaining, the appointments, the forms, the co-pays, only to find out the endo isn't covered because I'm banded and THAT isn't a covered benefit on my plan and now I'm paying not hundreds but thousands for the hospital, anesthesiologist, etc etc.

3) pay cash to my fill doc. Then the hospital, anestheliologist, etc etc. Thousands.

Mx is the cheapest way to go if I can get a good flight. And I would love to go to Kuri for my endo. If, while I'm out, he finds erosion, he can take it out then and there and be done with it. SIGH.

See how this is depressing and distracting and a bad use of perfectly good energy I could be using on losing weight? Oh, and it might help if I were actually LOSING!!!!! Geez.

And then on Crystal's positive thinking thread someone says "put your hand on your tummy and thank your band for being there and send it good positive white light vibes" which vibes and lights and stuff is not my thing so I'm thanking GOD for my band and start crying. ARGGH.

How do I get it to end? I wait for you, Delarla, to find out if YOU are eroded and pray you are wrong. I pray you are wrong for you AND for me. Because I got those feelings too and maybe your endo could be my endo for now?

No matter what I'm going to TJ in April for an endo. It's my one year and I think it's just good band health to get an endo. At this point, it's a matter of waiting or not. Thanks for this thread.

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And while I'm at it (hehe) I wake up at 3:45am (after going to bed at midnight) on Friday morning for Black Friday Christmas shopping. That was fun! But I'm all whacked out still from the sleep being off. Anyhow, I go to lunch with the girls that day to Chili's and order a grilled chicken with shrimp spicy dish with rice pilaf and steamed broccoli. It was definately not saucy enough. Anyhow, I barely got through it and brought it home after excusing myself to the bathroom to spit out slime. I coughed once in the bathroom but nothing really came up, but I felt better. Later, at home, I nibble on the leftovers and PB for real this time. Go to liquids. Soup. Canned Soup with so much salt I still can't get over it. I have gained this weekend like mad and I can see the puffy in my face and feel it in my feet. Canned soup is full of salt. I am now full of salt and I'm trying to flush it all out and eat well but still stay mushy because it's 3 days later and I'm still tight. I took a bite of my sister-in-laws very yummy very rich sweet potato pie (just a small one! no regrets there, I fit it into the calorie count for the day) and I feel it going down. Not painful, but tight. Same with yogurt. Tight.

So, is it the salt from all the canned soup this weekend making me tight? Oh Lord, I'm praying that's it.

Or I'm eroded.

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Lisa (DeLarla) and I had a long chat this morning and one of the conversation topics was erosion. Michelle and I were banded the same day. SO I feel a connection to her on a personal level. I have been PB all day long. It started last night. I PB'd today on chicken noodle Soup. THE SOUP part not the noodles. I know I have slipped the band or it is eroded. I have been on the phone with my doc's office and finally got an email from Dr. Billy saying he will set up an endo for me. He wants to see me before the procedure to discuss my options should there be erosion. He doesn't believe I have eroded but he wants to cover all his bases and so do I if I have.

I am waiting now for a call back from the office to schedule the endo. SIGH!!

I am in the meantime on liquids totally. In a way, this is a good thing cause it will certainly jump start my losing again. I had stalemated for a while. LOL!!

Just got a call from Saralee at Dr. Billy's and they want me to come in on Wed for a complete unfill. They will schedule me for an endo when I come in for the unfill. I won't have the endo that day but will get it scheduled. SIGH!!

I am so disgusted right now. I hear all these noises as well. The LOUD gurgling and feel the pressure and all that good stuffs. Oh and my lower stomach is burning like mad. SIGH!! It is almost like the restriction I had when I first was banded. I hope the unfill will help with that. SIGH!!!

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Im cracking up over here.

A what kind of kit?

My problems started when we went to NC for the hurricane. Stress, Im sure, was the root of the initial problems.

Since this time, I have had several - SEVERAL vomiting spells (not pbing). At one point, I was vomiting at least twice a day. The routine of vomiting, then going to liquids for a while gets old fast - very fast. ANd the horrid reflux is back - with revenge.

So Im back on prilosec. Nothing but liquids after 7pm.

And yet, I have major restriction. Im sure due to the irritated state of my innerds.

So, yeah Lisa. Send me a kit too.

But Im thinking more on the line of a slip for me.

Although the way my tummy aches... well, who knows?

So here we are.

The "freaked out bandsters" club.

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After a lot of reading and a lot of thinking I've decided the lap band isn't for me. For those who are having surgery today I send my best. I couldn't make it through two surgeries. For those of you stressing because of your friends' misfortunes you have helped me make the right decision for me. I would worry all the time and I know it. I'm convinced I might be better served waiting for the tummy pacemaker to come out and hoping it works. At least it only requires a battery every 7 years. It can't erode, leak or slip are my main concerns. It seems the band is not yet perfected, but I think a new band must be in the making somewhere that these erosion problems will be solved. I feel like this is still in an experimental stage. Even if I lost 100 lbs. in a year and it eroded I would be unhappy, because I know me. I've gained and lost 10000 lbs. in my lifetime and always gained it and more back. I don't have the reserve it would take to keep it off and then I would be more heartbroken.

I wish there was a magic solution. My dr. is deadset against gastric bypass and I don't know what this other surgery that Sue is having is, but I would probably get a huge no to it too, but I bet she will be successful. Gastric bypass patients lose huge amounts of weight right from the get-go. I say this from experience because my daughter went that route and in a yr. is really thin and amazingly healthy. She also was very dedicated to seeing it work.

To all of you I thank you for this forum that helped me decide that this is probably not the right time in my life. I am extremely depressed, which doesn't help the situation and I have no one in my life to help me through this time except the forum and honestly don't really know any of you, but feel as though I have come to.

I will miss you all, and may check in and see how the patients from today recovered. They are in my prayers as are all of you.

Thanks again for all your insight;

TD

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Ok ladies, today I called my doc and made an appt to see her tomorrow. I can eat way more than I should be able to at 2.4cc. I'm convinced I have a slip....I also am getting that acid reflux/choking on my vomit at night, back again. I couldn't ait until 9am this morning until the office opened up.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, are we all just crazy? paranoid? guilty? What is going on with us? Do we have sympathy pains for our LBT friends who went into surgery today?

I'm just glad to hear I am not the only one who is CONVINCED something just has to be wrong.

please let us know how each one of us make out at our various appointments

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I am so listening at night also when my Water goes down and think I am gurgling more. I am so hoping it is just my imagination. One meal I am so restricted I can't get more than 5 bites down and then last night I am able to eat half of one of those little 99 cent Tostinos pizzas. I haven't been able to eat like that in months. Why all of a sudden now? Because I am eroded and it can slip though easier. I swear, that is why we are all so crazy, this thing has never felt the same day in and day out since I got it. I am constantly wondering about the differences and now constantly worried for an erosion or slip. I have always PB'd, but even before my band I was a spewer because I am very sensitive about my food settling right. I need some beatings since Thanksgiving also, I have wanted to eat everything in sight...I try, then PB, then try again. I need to be stopped!

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Ladies - Ladies - please get a hold of yourselves.....

take a deep breath and those of you who really believe that you are eroded (and not in sympathy distress for our fellow LBT members) call your docs and get checked out.

Erosion is not something one can ignore from what I can tell.

TommorrowsDream - I wish you would not let this scare you. LBT is a large forum visited by people from all over the world. The odds are incredibly high and the fact that problems are discussed are merely a portion of the LBT experience. Problems are just highlited as members reach out in frustration, etc.

I am sure that there are many happy lapbanders who will tell you that the surgery is worth it.

Please don't be afraid of the cure - be afraid of the disease.

Take care - nancy

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Erosion, Slip or not. The lapband is still the BEST thing that happened to me, along with anti-depressants and a hysterectomy.

I have had a slippage. It's a minor bump in the road. If I have another - I may be forced to remove the band. I'm still 75lbs lighter than the day I started. I am ALIVE which would have been questionable at 250lbs on a 5ft body.

I still have to get an EGD and an upper GI to confirm whether I have any problems, but I am still very grateful for the band and the opportunity I have had to lose this weight. :)

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You know...I love coming to this message board...it's kind of an addiction. But anymore I feel like this is a horror movie that won't turn off unless you actually grab the remote and push "stop"! I don't want to stop coming here but when I read some of the threads on this board I start to second guess the way I feel physically and mentally. "Is that little pain a slip? Or erosion? Has something happened?" My Prozac doesn't even help it. Go figure...my Ob/Gyn puts me on it for PMS and then I actually end up needing it for more than that!

I feel for each and every person that has had minor or major problems or set backs with their band. But if you read these boards and really "read" more into it, then you are setting yourself up for a roller coaster of emotions. Just because someone else has this feeling doesn't mean that you do or will. And that is exactly how I have been feeling lately. Some of this scares the hell out of me and then alot of it is helpful and makes me laugh inside and out! And I love giving advice to people when they ask and getting it in return. It's great. I am happy with my decision on getting the band. I am confident in my doctor and his staff. I have the support of my family and my friends that I can do this. I am confident in myself most of all. I read the boards and tell myself that even though this is horrible, what has happened to some people, but that I have to stay positive and know that it "could" happen. But to dwell on the possibilty that it will is more harmful to me. I take each day and I live it. I use the band as a tool not a miracle cure. If I feel the slightest tightness or pain that tells me to stop and I do, no matter. I take a deep breath, sit up straight and relax. I have a husband to love, children to cherish, a business to run and friends to laugh with, than to consume myself with feelings that aren't there.

I don't think about my band slipping, eroding or leaking. I do think about how people are doing when I read that someone is having a problem and that is why I come here. For information, sharing information and laughter.

With the holidays upon us....we need a little bit more cheers than jeers. And it doesn't hurt to have a Dirty Martini every now and again to just...........................chill.

If anyone saw the news and remembers him you will appreciate this.

And to end on a quote by the late Mr. Miyagi....

"Breathe in...........breathe out." ...........*Pause*.............

Very good, Bandsters.

Relax.

Take care and take the time for yourself...don't worry....it's all good.

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