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Help! Having MAJOR second thoughts....



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Hi everyone... I've asked this in the "pre op" section... and now I'm asking this of you.. the post ops...

I am nearly at the point of getting my surgery date. have jumped through all the hoops.... and NOW... after 6 months of talking, going to meetings.... researching.... I am having major second thoughts about having a silicon band permanently inside me.... forever. And my second fear.... is what if I fail at THIS? I've been reading posts about people having stalled weight loss etc... and I guess I'm just afraid of yet another weight loss failure.

Any one else have these thoughts or feelings before your surgery????

Hope I'm not putting anyone off with being this honest..... just need some support.

Thanks

Tracy

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Yup I did! Had all of those thoughts: Am I doing the right thing? Do I really want this thing forever? What are people gonna think when/if they find out?? What if it doesn't help......etc, etc.....:(:)

I did it anyway...and don't regret anything! I'm one of those that are in a bit of a standstill at pounds lost, but I didn't do it just for weight loss, my health was a HUGE decision maker for me. I was getting really ill from elevated blood pressure, edema, pre-diabetic....Think of the health part of it all! After a few lbs lost, I feel WONDERFUL!! :thumbup:

Just remember to make sure it's what you really want at this point in your life. If you have any questions or doubts, put it off for awhile until you are completely ready. No one will think badly of you! Good luck at whatever you decide!:sad:

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I never had second thought....it is the best thing I've ever done for myself. I hope you don't back out. Trust me you'll be very happy

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I'm newly banded (4/15/10) and did experience some doubts especially in the week prior to surgery. I think that my biggest fear though was of the lifestyle change, which probably sounds kind of strange since that's the whole point of the process. It was a fear that was worth facing though. I understand your apprehension about having a foreign object inside of you, but would point out that it's not really permanent unless you want it to be and that's one of the advantages of this over other weight loss surgery options. It can be removed if you have complications or just choose to have it done.

I'm very happy that I've been banded, even though I'm still in pain and experiencing horrible gas. It was worth it for me to have another chance at a healthy and fulfilling life. I wish you luck with whatever decision you make.

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Yep, I had second thoughts too. But I was banded 2/11/2010 and I love it. It gives me the control on portions I couldn't do myself. I'm very lucky I can eat almost everything but steak.

I wouldn't change a thing. I just picture what I would look like in 9 months and that was so exciting.

Good Luck

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I was banded on 3/18 and about 65% of the time, I'm glad I did it. I know if I didn't I would only be heavier next year. 35% of the time, I'm aware that this is a huge lifestyle change. And when you forget that, the band reminds you! I wouldn't say I never had a second thought, but the second thoughts are started to get further and further apart. You have to be mentally ready, not just for the surgery, but for the commitment to eating right after. If you are still not sure, take some more time, give it another shot on your own and see how you do. For me, I decided I spent the first 41 years of my life battling my weight, I'll be damned if I spend the next 30 doing the same thing. I was starting to have medical issues and felt this was the best option since I couldn't do it on my own. It's been a learning process for me every day, but I'm a firm believer that if you do nothing, then nothing will happen.

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i was banded march 16, 2010 and never looked back. i too spent all my life overweight. and i hated every minute of it. i was nervous and skeptical also. i had second thoughts up until they wheeled me into the OR. But i too decided that if i didn't do something, i would just continue gaining weight. I was up to 265 lbs and couldn't control my eating. I had the surgery and so far lost 30 lbs. without a fill. I go for my first fill may 6. I'm doing pretty well without the fill, but i'm going to go ahead and have a small fill to give me better restriction. If you ask me, DO IT! The frustration of not being able to control your weight is horrible. now i'm feeling better and everyone's already noticing the change. if you have these same feelings about losing weight, then you'll be glad you got banded. You'll be amazed!

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Hang in there. I had second thoughts and put off the surgery for years. But things didn't get better and I wasn't getting any younger and having more health issues so I started the process and tried to live the lifestyle before surgery and lost 65 pounds. But I had lost 50 pounds before and gained it back too and then some. But I was exercising 7 or more hours a week, transferring my food addiction to exercise. My BP meds were cut in half, my arthritis has gotten better and I rarely take those meds anymore.

Then I had to deal with a few people who didn't think I needed the surgery since I had done so well. I had the surgery 6 months ago and have lost another 35 pounds.

If I hadn't done this I would not have lost the weight, it is a constant motivation. I still worry about failure but when you are facing that you are over 100 pounds overweight closer to 150, it just seems like an impossible mountain to tackle. I have found this a second chance.

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Hang in there. I think second thoughts, and what if's are a part of our vocabulary after being failing at other weight loss opportunities. I know that I was worried about me failing at this, HOWEVER, today is my 6 month band anniversary, and I am not looking back one bit!

Is this new life different than by preband life? Heck yes. I am happier, I am healthier, I am more fit, and I weigh less than I have in years! I am wearing a size of clothing that 6 months ago was just a wish!

You are doing everything right - you have taken all the steps necessary to become educated on the living with a band. Whatever decision you make is going to be the right decision for you. As I said before, the decision to be banded was the right one for me, and I have not looked back since!

Best wishes!

Joanne

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Get rid of the idea that you will someday do it on your own. You would have by now if you could. We are all in the same boat.

1. you will have challenges but all of us do, which ever way we decide to do this.

2 you will have to mourn the loss of food. All of us do.

3. you will succeed if you really want to do it. All of us had that fear.

4.you will not be able to do it by yourself. None of us could.

5. you have the advantage of educating yourself before you do this. Not all of us did that completely.

6. it is about knowledge not physiology. All of us are figuring this out.

Don't get the idea that the band is going to do it for you, however the band is an amazing tool that will transform you.

You will have to choose good foods, exercise, plan ahead, and have patience. If you can do this, you will be successful.

I did not tell a lot of people I was doing this because of the fear you are having right now. I later decided this was rediculous, however if you are not sure, don't tell people until they notice that you look so much better that they can not help noticing it.

Believe that you are worth it cuz you are.

Believe that you can do it cuz you can.

Above all else, don't listen to another single person, this is your decision.

Believe

Believe

Believe!!!!!

Hugs!!!!!

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Dont Give up!! I know its not always an easy road but belive me it is well worth it , it is one of the best things i could have ever done for my self. One thing ive learned is this is not a quick fix it a total change of life. lots of learning you wont reget it !! Good luck to you

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Tracy, what you're thinking/feeling is perfectly normal, and I think the majority of us had these thoughts too. It shows that you are taking this seriously and that it a big step for you. I think I'd be concerned if you didn't have these thoughts to be honest.

Reading all the posts you've already received, you can tell that no matter how many posts you read that may contain venting on plateaus, issues with certain foods people can no longer tolerate, etc., look at the tickers. We are all losing weight (some faster than others), but if you are educated going into this and know what to expect, you too will have that fun little ticker this time next year that says 50 lbs lost.

Now, coming from someone that does my fair share of venting (as most of my pals here can attest to LOL), I am coming up on 6 months banded (tomorrow) and I am down a total of 61 lbs, which I know I would not have been able to do without the help of my band. I know that it will also work with me to keep the weight off too, which is something that I was never to achieve in the past.

Again, I wouldn't change a thing. Obviously, you need to make the choice that is best for you, but if you have already gone through 6 months of education, support and preparation, you acknowledge that you need a tool to help you with this challenge.

Best of luck to you. This is a great forum for support and advice, and believe me, this is what gets me through on most days :-)!

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Don't give up I felt that way too but it was the best thing I have ever done for myself!

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I think pretty much everyone has thought exactly as you are now, I know I did.

I can also tell you that I plateau more than most and lose at a much slower pace.

That being said, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE my band!! It has worked exactly as I had hoped and I wouldn't change a thing. I had realistic expectations and was PATIENT with myself, my journey and my weight loss.

Don't fool yourself, this is not a "quick fix" it takes a lot of commitment and determination. Your lifestyle and eating habits WILL CHANGE and so will your outlook (for the best, but change can always be intimdating). It takes exercise, discipline and will power, just like any other diet. But having the band actually makes all those things achieve results; something that had alluded (sp?) me prior to banding.

I too was afraid of a silicone band being inside me forever...but ponder this....if you kept the weight on, you would have pounds and pounds of fat on you forever...you could have diseases in your body due to obesity in your body FOREVER and you would have low self esteem, poor health and depression FOREVER if you continue to keep the weight on your body. When I considered all the things that I would prefer to have in my body and what it would alleviate...the band was a much more attractive option!

I would say also, that unless you are absolutely certain about this surgery, I would postpone until you are. You need confidence, commitment and determination for this journey..and starting out with fear, regret or doubt will not give you the desired result.

I would do this all over again if I had to, the BEST THING I EVER DID for myself by a long-shot. Best of Luck!!!

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Getting banded is the absolute best thing I have done for myself. I truly believe it saved my life.

It's totally normal to have doubts. I was more concerned about the actual operation more than anything. Everything turned out fine.

The decision is completely yours; don't let anyone sway you one way or the other, because it's your body.

All I can say is I'm glad I did it. :ohmy:

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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