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I'm telling people I'm close to about my plans. When I start losing and if people ask I will tell them, I have gone through the "don't tell anyone" with a friend, and it's hard to keep up with who she told and who she didn't.

When she lost the initial fast weight everyone was asking me if she had the bypass surgery, so I was able to truthfully say no. But most times people will suspect anyway.

We have someone at work who had it but kept it secret and that person told me. So now that person won't come to our work dinners because people don't know.

It's all a bit dramatic LOL.

If someone asks I will tell. If they smart off about it or say I'm taking the easy way out, well they can kiss my butt.

Good luck. Just remember the more people you tell, the more likely they are to tell. People get jealous when their fat friend gets thin.

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So far I have only told my wife about my plans to have the surgery, she seems to be up an down about, mostly because she is worried about something happening to me. I am in Sales and I will attempt to keep it a Secret. Might even say my Appendix Burst, hahahaha. I am a big eater, so they will notice eventually. I am mostly concerned about people's perception of me taking the easy way out, but I have tried everything. I quit smoking last year so I know that it isn't only a lack of will power. If it is there, I eat it until it is gone.

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I've told my family, close friends and my Vice President. When I receive my final approval (keep your fingers crossed it should be any day) then I'll have to tell my team at work. I'm the Manager of Budgets and Financial Analysis . . . I think my team will notice that I'm gone. Since I just took over the position from someone who caused a lot of mistrust I am trying to keep a very open, honest relationship with my team. I think it helps that my boss is very supportive. :thumbup:

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I've just started my journey and still have to get consults and psych eval and all that stuff. I told a few of my friends what I was up to, but other than that I have kept the information to myself. I've thought about this over the last few days and it seems a shame that after being ostracized for years about our weight, that when we make a decision of this magnitude to take back our lives and our health that we feel we have to keep it a secret. Overweight people have been judged for years and years. Perhaps if we start sharing our experiences, "coming out of the fat closet" will become more mainstream and more people will look to beat obesity. My nutrition appointment is May 4th and after I get through my first round of consults, I do plan to let people know. I feel like taking back my life is not something I should be ashamed of, but rather celebrated.

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Has anyone gone into this just not caring who knows and who they tell?

The only people that knew I was thinking about it was my close family and now my mom is the only one that knows Im going to have it done and that the date is set (may 17th!!!).

Its sad because she doesn't seem excited for me anymore, like its now real to her and she never wants to talk about it or get excited.

I haven't told any of my friends that I am having it done, nor did I tell anyone at work why I need a week off, they just think Im going on vacation.

I am feeling more alone then ever at this point and its not a good feeling at all :-(

Hey i had my surgery on the 6th and I told a couple of people at work, my husband, my best friend and my dad..my boss was really hurt that i didnt tell her but my point of view was.... Once my mind was made up, I didnt need any negative points of view. I needed those around me who supported me, not questioned me. I really don't care who knows now that it is over. If your mother isnt excited for you, include someone else who you think might be. You will need the help and the support and the encouragement once its over, just something as simple as not eating real food in front of you. Its not that difficult but you will need your own little cheering squad to let you know it was worth the effort.

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I am having surgry The 29th of april. I had decided a long time ago not to tell anyone except husband and kids. However that changed sun. Had a family/friend reunion. I told everyone. Part because I am excited, but mostly because I was embarresed of my weight gain so I just wanted them to know I knew what they were thinking and I was doing something about it. Now I regret it.

why do you regret your announcement?

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I don't think any of us that choose bariatric surgery are "taking the easy way out.". We're choosing to undergo surgery with general anesthesia (just a risk unto itself. Forget that its for weight loss). We have all battled with obesity for years (we all know that we have to have documentation akin to that of trying to get a mortgage before we can even have the surgery). And even after we have the surgery, there is still plenty of work to be done by us. We have to change our eating habits and our lifestyles. None of these things is by far easy. I thought the comment of people being jealous and not liking losing their fat friends was interesting. I've been making a few changes in anticipation of the changes I will have to adhere to later. I had one friend tell me that I wasn't fun anymore because I didn't drink cokes with her and I didn't want to order pizza with her. I guess I had never realized what an enabler some of my friends are.

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I told people at work first- two other folks had it done that I work with so it's not really a big deal. Other than that I told my mom and sister (much later in the process) and my son (he's seven doesn't really understand). Oh and I also told my neighbor (she and her hubby both were banded).. .. I don't feel like my friends and family need to know since they will watch over my every bite. If my any of my friends who struggle with weight I will probably be honest with them (especially if it works!!)

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My biggest support person is my 14 year old son. He actually went with me to the lap band seminar and was very interested in the process and very supportive of my decision.:eek:

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My family and friends know I plan on getting banded. I am not sure if I will volunteer the info to others, though I imagine it will be common knowledge via the grapevine whether I like it or not. My only qualms about too many people knowing is a direct result of self-esteem issues related to being a heavyweight for so many years. I guess I shouldn't care that there are some who will think of me as an out-of-control glutton who's only hope of some self-control is this surgery, should I?

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No one will know I am having the surgery. I will not have a support group of any kind. Everyone thinks I should be able to lose 100 lbs on my own. They think diet and exercise should be enough. This is why I looking for support from people who have had the same experiences as I will have.

My surgery is scheduled for the end of May.

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No one will know I am having the surgery. I will not have a support group of any kind. Everyone thinks I should be able to lose 100 lbs on my own. They think diet and exercise should be enough. This is why I looking for support from people who have had the same experiences as I will have.

My surgery is scheduled for the end of May.

That must not be hard to have no one. Please feel free to message me if you ever need to talk , come to these boards, and join a support group!

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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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