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Has anyone gone into this just not caring who knows and who they tell?

The only people that knew I was thinking about it was my close family and now my mom is the only one that knows Im going to have it done and that the date is set (may 17th!!!).

Its sad because she doesn't seem excited for me anymore, like its now real to her and she never wants to talk about it or get excited.

I haven't told any of my friends that I am having it done, nor did I tell anyone at work why I need a week off, they just think Im going on vacation.

I am feeling more alone then ever at this point and its not a good feeling at all :-(

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I have also chosen not to tell anyone. My husband is the only one who knows that I have the band. My two boys (1 & 4) know that mommy had an operation and now has boo-boos on her tummy.

I am not sure why I decided not to tell anyone else. I guess that I am self-conscience about my weight and I didn't want people to watch/judge me and my weight loss. I didn't want that added perceived pressure.

I also wasn't sure how my family and friends would react to me getting the band. I was worried about negative response and having to defend my decision to get the band. I am making assumptions that there would be negativity....maybe I don't give my family and friends enough credit!

Maybe your mom is more worried now that the surgery date is getting closer. It is SURGERY and that could make your mom a little scared for your well being. Maybe just assure her that you are sure of your decision and you know that everything will be o.k.

You take care and please message me if you are feeling too lonely. Good luck and I hope that everything goes well for you on May 17th!

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I had to go to 3 support groups before surgery was allowed. DO you haveto attend? That is a really helpful. Everyone in my dept at work know becuase we eat at the same time and they would know something was up with my eating becuase it just doesnt look normal to people. My family knows but that was kinda of a pain after surgery I was really sick (dehydrated) and my parents where really worried wich was sweet but I didnt want them to worry so I had to act well for them. My husband and kids of course new

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I had to go to 3 support groups before surgery was allowed. DO you haveto attend? That is a really helpful. Everyone in my dept at work know becuase we eat at the same time and they would know something was up with my eating becuase it just doesnt look normal to people. My family knows but that was kinda of a pain after surgery I was really sick (dehydrated) and my parents where really worried wich was sweet but I didnt want them to worry so I had to act well for them. My husband and kids of course new

No I don't have to go to any support groups before surgery.. I really didn't have to do anything before I have surgery. Everyone at work knows im dieting so I am hoping they just think I am doing a great job once I get banded! LOL.

How were the support groups, were they something that you would recommend?

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I only told a select few friends and family and asked them to keep it to themselves. I don't need people watching my every bite... I beat myself up enough about my weight and when I make choices that I know I shouldn't I don't need to be under anyone else's microscope and have them judge me. I have the people that are closest to me that know and support me... I have this site and the monthly meetings for support. That works for me.

Its really a matter of personal preference. :)

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lol...I told everyone...But that is just my personality.

I have lost weight before and gained it back, and my true friends still love me. Everyone has been super supportive.

I feel so sorry for people who feel like they are not getting the support. If you chose to keep it to yourself that is one thing, but to tell someone and not feel like they are supporting you in this MAJOR decision must be very hard.

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I've told only five people and plan on keeping it very private.

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I've told everyone and anyone who would listen. I really regret that decision now. I have a big mouth and can't stop talking to save my life :ohmy:

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Why do you regret telling lots of people?

I've told everyone and anyone who would listen. I really regret that decision now.(

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I just feel like everyone is watching me now. Watching what I do, eat, say..of course this could all be in my head

I can keep a secret for anybody else but when it comes to me I get diarrhea of the mouth

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I have only told a few people in my family. Only one of my friends knows. I understand how you feel

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I tell everyone. I don't think its fair to let others think you are losing weight by just eating less and exercising, it gives them the impression that they are not trying hard enough.

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I'm having surgery on April 28th. Only my immediate family and a couple of close friends. I have not told anyone at work or any of my customers (I'm in Outside Sales and work out of my house). To me it is more of a personal goal that will have both physical and medical benefits. It almost feels like it puts more pressure on you the more people you tell and their reaction may not always be positive. I wish you the best in your progress.

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I tell everyone. I don't think its fair to let others think you are losing weight by just eating less and exercising, it gives them the impression that they are not trying hard enough.

Well im still very young and I'm not around many people that are heavier and that are trying to lose weight. If someone was to really ask me how I was doing it and they wanted help losing weight, I would prolly tell them but other then that most people I know have never been heavier and had to lose weight, so Im not sure I believe its there business on how I lose it. Just how I look at it I guess :-/

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Please don't take my statement as criticizing your opinion, everyone should do what works for them, that is just what works for me. This journey is very personal and you should be true to yourself. :ohmy:

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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