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Banded Living - Do you bend the rules?



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Never break the rules. I have just convinced myself that Resees cups are mushies. Find it tough as of late. I may as well paint a 40 on my scale. as I have kept my weight loss at that point for a few months. I am almost at good restriction and I eat pretty well but I find motivation waning as of late. I am seriously considering joining weight watchers to get myself back on track.

GReg

Greg,

If joining WW is what you need to do to get yourself back on track, then do it. Don't waste another moment!

I found my motivation waning the last few days despite losing 18+ pounds over the last 3 weeks. Don't ask me why cuz I haven't figured it out myself. All I know is that I wanted to hit Carabbas and eat a big old bowl of Rigatoni Martino all my myself...even though in the past my husband and I always shared.

Thankfully, it doesn't matter what I want. The band has other ideas.

Hang in there. Go join WW and find your motivations!

.

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I am seriously considering joining weight watchers to get myself back on track.

GReg

Weight watchers is a great program. Encourages healthy eating with some room for treats. The meetings are very beneficial. Not only do you have to weigh in, but the topics of the meetings are very good, almost theraputic.

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I chose this surgery to be what I consider normal and to have normal relationships with food. So I have no rules. I eat what I want, when I want, but because I worked so hard on breaking food taboos and weird hang ups etc, what I want and when I want it is usually appropriate. And if what I want is a donut then nobody ever got fat on one donut, they get fat on scoffing down seven donuts becuase donuts are forbidden and arent I a disgusting person for eating them and I better run till I drop for doing that and anyway doesnt it not count if nobody sees you eat it so maybe I'll eat that tub of ice cream too and oh, boy, I'm fat, I'm disgusting, i break every diet, I'm going to start another one on Monday and I'll record everything and I'm going to exercise every day no matter what gets in the way and I'm going to make those rules so hard and strict and cling to them so desperately that when i break one the whole thing falls apart.

All it took for me was truly giving myself permission to eat stupid donuts. Once that was allowed, then I didnt want seven, I wanted just the one! Of course the band helped, because I never lost weight just doing that before, it takes Portion Control and a calorie deficit which is what the band is for. But a life of counting, measuring, weighing, considering certain foods off limit, that wasnt what I wanted and it wasnt what my doctor considered a desireable outcome either.

So I follow my "rules" in that I dont overload my stomach and I do say no when my wants are a little over the top, but most of the time, I just obey my body, and make sure I exercise and stay active.

You have gotten a great result. Congrats! You've clearly found an approach that works for you.

We are all differnt, and I honestly don't think "I eat what I want, when I want" would have worked very well for me." You do talk about "it takes Portion Control and a calorie deficit which is what the band is for." I see lots of folks struggling and frustrated on these boards, trying to learn to use their bands to create the calorie deficit they need to reach their goals. Any suggestions for those folks about exactly how to use the tool to achieve portion control and the calorie deficit?

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Never break the rules. I have just convinced myself that Resees cups are mushies. Find it tough as of late. I may as well paint a 40 on my scale. as I have kept my weight loss at that point for a few months. I am almost at good restriction and I eat pretty well but I find motivation waning as of late. I am seriously considering joining weight watchers to get myself back on track.

GReg

Hey Greg,

I've been thinking about your post. First let me say, I've been on weight watchers (many times, sound familiar), and it can be a good program. From my persepctive WW is about support and nutrition, although unless something has changed, I don't think they have anything specifically tailored to get the most out of our bands. I'm also wondering if your doctor has a band only support group and what else is available as part of your aftercare. It really helps me to be around other succesful members of the banded living community.

My other question to you, is how did you use your tool? I'd be happy to try to help as well as see if I can help with the motivation. Feel free to PM me.

Also lots of people are telling me that my blog has been motivational. If you haven't checked it out, it's at Gloria's Banded Living — My Lapband Weight Loss Success Story . You can sign up (below my before and after to get email updates - hopefully a dose of inspiration delivered to your inbox .

I hope to hear from you.

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I see lots of folks struggling and frustrated on these boards, trying to learn to use their bands to create the calorie deficit they need to reach their goals. Any suggestions for those folks about exactly how to use the tool to achieve Portion Control and the calorie deficit?

One of the things that helped me was to run my stats through the Harris Benedict equation to calculate how many calories I would need to eat to maintain my goal weight of 140 vs my current weight. There are calculators on the 'net but some are off by hundreds of calories so I prefer to do the calculations myself. It just puts a figure in my head that I know I need to adhere to if I want to lose/maintain.

I have a very set structure to my eating plan so that I don't have to do much planning and preparation beforehand. I keep it simple and I keep to a schedule which I posted in two different threads. If someone wants to see it, I'd be happy to post it again, but basically I eat my meals and mid-meals (protein shakes) at the same time every day. Breakfast is always a Protein Shake. lunch and dinner are the same: 2-3 oz of Protein (grilled, roasted or pan fried in 1 tsp olive oil), 1/4-1/2 cup steamed vegies with a pat of butter or sprinkle of parmesan cheese, 1/4 cup of starch carbs (potatoes, rice, Beans, pasta) OR 1/4 cup of fruit. The fruit is a new addition for me because I've been craving it, but I choose whether to have my carbs this way or through starch carbs...never both.

I weigh and measure everything when I'm at home. I thought I knew what 1/4 cup was but I'm always underestimating or overestimating. The under isn't so bad. The over results in waste because I can't eat more than that these days. When I'm out, I never order my own meal. I always take my portion off my husband's meal since restaurants routinely overload the plate. If I want a bit of Tomato sauce on my Pasta or sour cream on my potato, I have it. I'm not on a diet...but I use moderation. Instead of 1/4 cup of sour cream on my baked potato, I'll put a tablespoon.

Occasionally, I'll have an oddball lunch like a cup of tomato Soup and 1/2 grilled cheese sandwich or a slice of pizza with a small side salad but I try to keep this type of meal for when I'm just sick of the protein/vegie/carb routine because it doesn't seem to stay with me as well.

One of my favorite radio psychologists is Dr. Randy Carlson who talks about intentional living. When I first heard him a few years back, he was talking about how *we* cause most of the stressors in our life. We get angry when we get a speeding ticket...but if we had been living intentionally...thinking about what we were doing *in* that moment and making the decision to not speed because it *might* result in a ticket or accident, we wouldn't have gotten in the ticket in the first place and bypassed the whole angry/stress thing.

It's the same with the way we eat. We shovel our food in our mouth while sitting in front of a tv, computer or book. We barely register what we're eating. Stop. Put some candles on the table, pretty placemats and napkins and 'dine'...even if you're alone. I've actually gotten to the point where I clean off the top of my desk in my office, lay out a placemat and candle, napkin and real cutlery, put on some enjoyable music, put my phone on mute and shut my door with a 'do not disturb' sign. My employees know someone had better be bleeding if they're going to knock on my door.

I'm intentional about what I'm doing in that moment...and find that my satisfaction after eating is much more than those days where I think I'm too busy to sit and instead I'll eat while I'm doing paperwork or some such.

.

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Thanks for sharing Betsy. I think I'm going to put your post up over my desk! Even in my fourth year, I still look for inspiration on a regular basis. Thanks for sharing. You gave me a gift!

Wow, Gloria--thanks! For all you give, I'm so glad to have offered something back to you!

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Wow, Gloria--thanks! For all you give, I'm so glad to have offered something back to you!

Hey Betsy,

Glad u put your picture up. It's great to have a face with the name. I've seen many of your posts lately. You offer a lot of great perspective. By the way, I've been assimilating the dialogue on this thread, and decided to blog about it. Will be posting a link later. Have a great day!

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I follow my Dr's rules as far as I can.

I have been told that although 3 meals is preferred that some people can't cope with this so it is OK to have a healthy snack. I have been told that so long as they don't cause me any discomfort carbonated drinks are fine.

I eat a healthy well balanced diet that includes all food groups.I am not restricted to 1 cup or 1/2 cup of food or whatever. Instead I have been told that a meal should fill a side plate rather than a full size dinner plate. I don't measure but can guess fairly accurately.I eat until satisfied not until uncomfortable or stuffed.I don't count calories.I don't drink with meals except for the occassional glass of wine. Or if I can feel the food is too dry and is going down hard I may have a few sips of Water to help smooth the journey.

No food is forbidden.(There is a very good book by Dr Rick Kausman - "If not dieting then what" that talks about always foods and sometimes foods instead of good foods and bad foods). If I feel like chocolate or icecream I have it. With the band though instead of eating chocolate every day I may have some once or twice a week.I treat food the same way that a thin person does which is what I was hoping for. I did not want to be on a diet for the rest of my life.

The one area where I fall down is exercise. I never have and never will be a gym junkie plus the nearest gym is approx 30km away.I have recently started a Bollywood dancing class and I also try to increase my incidental exercise.

For me the best part of the band is that it allows me to live a normal life, not dieting and obsessing about food.

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I love this entire thread. I am new to this site. I recently joined because I haven't been able to make it every month to my monthly support group and I felt I needed a place to "meet" with other Bandsters. I agree with all of you! For me, reading your posts and the support of my family helps keep me on track. Not that I don't indulge in treats from time to time, but I am 4 months out, down 48 lbs. and feeling pretty good restriction with my third and most recent fill. I am happy so far. Weight loss has slowed down but as long as I continue to lose I will be happy.

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Yes I must say I break the rules a bit but here is how I do it. Since this is really a life style change and not a diet I make it so it does not feel like a diet. I personally do not write down everything I eat or do.

I still eat all the great food there is out there but I swear in the smallest of small amounts as that is all I can eat. Just a tiny bit. And then I am done. I refused to deprive my self of things I enjoyed eating and now just like every diet I have ever been on it is all about the portion size and eating patterns. I really do kind of watch the calories I take in because I am not a huge exercise freak and use small weights on my arms. And that is about it really.

This band has changed my life and I can lose 1 or 2 lbs a week and I am happy with this. And the slower you lose the easier it will be to keep it off even once you reach that sweet spot.

There are some things I totally have not had now and will never have again, soda I have not had one since June 09 and bread along with corn these are some things that I simply will not go back too. They are evil for my body and it has been this long so why go back. Anyway yes I do bend the rules but what I do works for me and the doctor is happy with my results.

I have had NO back washing of food, I have never (knock on wood) gotten anything stuck so I must be doing something right as I am losing many inches and weight too.

Good luck to everyone

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When I started this thread, I really didn't know where it would go. It turned into a passionate debate, and a huge source of inspiration for me. The manufacturers of the bands have “rules” or “tips” posted on their sites. What I learned from my fellow members of the banded living community on this thread is that 1) a lot of us don’t like “rules” because we’ve tried them before and frankly they didn’t work as a way of life, and -- 2) we are all different, and we need to work hard to find what works “for me.”

I mentor lots of folks, some of who are frustrated or struggling and trying to figure out how to get the most out of their tool.

My doctor, my head coach on this Banded Living journey, reminds me over and over again, that it’s a tool, and I need to work it. I shouldn’t expect “it” to do anything. (A screwdriver can’t remove a screw unless you turn it.) I have to work it to get the results I want – and for me that was more than the average 50% Excess Weight Loss. My band helps me with Portion Control, controls my hunger and leaves me with a feeling of satiety when I work it. Many of you know I started a blog as a way of paying it forward and sharing my journey. I just did a post, inspired by this thread. You can click here to get to the 10 things I learned about how to use my tool:

Transforming #003, Maintaining #004, Getting the Most from My Lap-Band®: How I Learned to Use My Tool

Please let me know if you find it useful.

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When I started this thread, I really didn't know where it would go. It turned into a passionate debate, and a huge source of inspiration for me. The manufacturers of the bands have “rules” or “tips” posted on their sites. What I learned from my fellow members of the banded living community on this thread is that 1) a lot of us don’t like “rules” because we’ve tried them before and frankly they didn’t work as a way of life, and -- 2) we are all different, and we need to work hard to find what works “for me.”

I mentor lots of folks, some of who are frustrated or struggling and trying to figure out how to get the most out of their tool.

My doctor, my head coach on this Banded Living journey, reminds me over and over again, that it’s a tool, and I need to work it. I shouldn’t expect “it” to do anything. (A screwdriver can’t remove a screw unless you turn it.) I have to work it to get the results I want – and for me that was more than the average 50% Excess Weight Loss. My band helps me with Portion Control, controls my hunger and leaves me with a feeling of satiety when I work it. Many of you know I started a blog as a way of paying it forward and sharing my journey. I just did a post, inspired by this thread. You can click here to get to the 10 things I learned about how to use my tool:

Transforming #003, Maintaining #004, Getting the Most from My Lap-Band®®: How I Learned to Use My Tool

Please let me know if you find it useful.

I just wanted you to know that I copied and pasted those ten "rules" that you wrote about and printed them out. I enlarged them too. They are going on my fridg tonight. Thanks for them. I actually do must of them already but am always seeking motivation.

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Hey illuminationlady, soo glad you found "the 10 things I learned about how to use my tool" helpfful. If anyone has a better idea of what to name them, I'm all ears. I've sworn off the word "rules" for good reason! Will proabably start another thread about this with a different title...

BTW- did you sign up to get automatic updates from my blog? Trying to make it easy for folks..

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Hey illuminationlady, soo glad you found "the 10 things I learned about how to use my tool" helpfful. If anyone has a better idea of what to name them, I'm all ears. I've sworn off the word "rules" for good reason! Will proabably start another thread about this with a different title...

BTW- did you sign up to get automatic updates from my blog? Trying to make it easy for folks..

Yes, I signed up and am lovin' your articles. You're quite the writer and an inspiration to us all!!! Thanks!

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Yes I must say I break the rules a bit but here is how I do it. Since this is really a life style change and not a diet I make it so it does not feel like a diet. I personally do not write down everything I eat or do.

I still eat all the great food there is out there but I swear in the smallest of small amounts as that is all I can eat. Just a tiny bit. And then I am done. I refused to deprive my self of things I enjoyed eating and now just like every diet I have ever been on it is all about the portion size and eating patterns. I really do kind of watch the calories I take in because I am not a huge exercise freak and use small weights on my arms. And that is about it really.

This band has changed my life and I can lose 1 or 2 lbs a week and I am happy with this. And the slower you lose the easier it will be to keep it off even once you reach that sweet spot.

There are some things I totally have not had now and will never have again, soda I have not had one since June 09 and bread along with corn these are some things that I simply will not go back too. They are evil for my body and it has been this long so why go back. Anyway yes I do bend the rules but what I do works for me and the doctor is happy with my results.

I have had NO back washing of food, I have never (knock on wood) gotten anything stuck so I must be doing something right as I am losing many inches and weight too.

Good luck to everyone

Sound like you are working hard to find what works for you, and you're getting results. Good for you. :w00t:

It may get harder and you get closer to your goal. That is what happened to me. At that point I stalled and had a decision to make. I blogged about that to - if you're interested here's the link //http://www.gloriasbandedliving.com/transforming-002-maintaining-002-my-lap-band%c2%ae-journey-results-not-typical/

Good luck on your journey!

Edited by atgoalgal
repair link

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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