Many of you have seen my story - in my 4th year and maintaining my goals weight. I'm spending a lot of time paying it forward now.

Lots of questions on the boards about bending the rules. Here's my thinking...

I think there's an important discussion we need to put on the table. Do you bend the rules and are you accountable to yourself if you do? Please post your point of view on this.

Here's my point of view. If you want to get the best results(better than 50%EWL), follow your doctors instructions as closely as you can. If there is a band rule that you don't think you can live with, talk to your doctor about it, be honest and see what wiggle room you have, but make those decisions with your eyes wide open and be accountable for your decisions.

I'm not saying I never bend the rules or fall off the wagon. I am saying that I need to be accountable for my decisions - can't have my cake and eat it too (LOL). My experience says its really important to be honest with ourselves and our doctors, if we want results.

What do you think

I agree with your stance. Making my own rules definitely did not work for me. So I follow the rules I've been given as closely as I can. Does that mean that, if I'm genuinely hungry, I won't have an extra half-ounce of protein? No. It also doesn't mean that, on days when my pain level is astronomical that I force myself to do the same punishing gym regimen.

But I do weigh, measure, and record EVERYTHING I eat. I log all of my exercise.

A lot of people tell me, "Then you're just on a diet---like all of the OTHER diets you've been on!" But I don't see it that way at all.

I am making myself accountable to myself. I am keeping track of what I do so that I can identify patterns if and when I run into trouble. I am advancing my eating as recommended to get the maximum out of this tool I fought so hard to get.

Nope, I'm not on a diet. This is my new life. It has room for birthday cake and Thanksgiving pie---but only on my birthday and Thanksgiving (and I've committed to a three-bite rule). Most of the foods that have tempted me in the past are SO readily available (or so mediocre) that there's just no reason (to me) to go off-plan for them. I'd rather plan--and enjoy---than indulge and regret.

My doctor's recommendations are VERY conservative. Many foods are not permitted until 75 percent of excess weight is lost. The foods included are largely my red-light foods. He's a smart guy, my doctor--he knows this. He knows that patients who learn to eat DIFFERENTLY than they did before enjoy the greatest weight loss success.

I think I'll allow myself to reap the benefits of his experience, My own kind of sucks.

What are the 'rules'? Read enough posts and you find that there are few hard and fast rules. Some doctors require their patients to stick to 800 calories or 1/2 cup of food at a meal and eat only 3 meals. At the other end of the spectrum, patients are told to eat 1200-1400 calories per day and 6 small meals.

Some are told not to drink carbonated beverages. Some are told they can after so many months.

Before we start talking about 'breaking the rules' we really need to define what the rules are. The only hard and fast rules I've seen are to drink our 64 oz of water every day and don't drink with meals.

Perhaps the question should have been, "Do you break *your* doctor's rules?" So I'll answer that question.

My doctor doesn't make rules and he's pretty up front about that...so no rules to break. Perhaps it's because he also has a band and has first hand experience and not just head knowledge. He makes suggestions but is pretty clear that they are just that. That each of us has to find how to make the band work for us.

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There are a few basic band rules that I do try and follow. Yes, drinking 64oz. of water or fluids a day is one of them. Another I try and follow is portion control. I use a toddler plate that is portioned out. Also, small bites and chew, chew, chew. Otherwise I would be stuck all of the time. I don't do carbination at all but do have a glass of red wine occasionally before dinner. I might try a beer this summer. I go back to the doctors for my fills regularly until I hit my sweet spot. Some people don't follow up on fills...that's why I mention this rule. For the most part I follow my doctor's orders. Once and a while I'll treat myself only so I don't feel like I'm always on a diet. There are rules we all follow being banded. And those who don't follow the rules probably have a hard time with losing the weight!

I'm pretty new to this game, having been banded only about 6 weeks now. But here is how I am feeling about this topic....

I made a serious huge decision to have WLS and I have decided to make a serious huge commitment to making that work for me.

I don't see where you would go to next if you allow this tool to not work for you.

I'm making the most of this and I"m hoping that the things I'm learning on the way will help me to not only lose 100% of my EW....but maintain it.

Its great to see someone paying it forward...you are an inspiration and THANK YOU!!! for your story and for your time.

Well, I have always eaten fairly healthy foods for the most part (of course there was the occasional junk food), just too much of them and too often so I chose to get the band to help w/ portion control and late night snacking. I never intended to give up chocolate or pizza for the rest of my life when getting the band. Insurance would not pay for the band b/c my BMI was too low and I had no co-morbidies. I have enjoyed being able to go out w/ my friends and split a meal, be completely satisfied and still have food left on my plate...I could have never done this before...So call me a rule breaker b/c I don't limit the foods I eat to some list. I eat what ever I want in reasonable portions...I also log all my food on lose it and keep my net caloric intake around 1100 calories...that means if I want to drink 2 or 3 glasses of wine w/ dinner, I may go to the gym before and after work to burn those calories.

I agree with your stance. Making my own rules definitely did not work for me. So I follow the rules I've been given as closely as I can. Does that mean that, if I'm genuinely hungry, I won't have an extra half-ounce of protein? No. It also doesn't mean that, on days when my pain level is astronomical that I force myself to do the same punishing gym regimen.

But I do weigh, measure, and record EVERYTHING I eat. I log all of my exercise.

A lot of people tell me, "Then you're just on a diet---like all of the OTHER diets you've been on!" But I don't see it that way at all.

I am making myself accountable to myself. I am keeping track of what I do so that I can identify patterns if and when I run into trouble. I am advancing my eating as recommended to get the maximum out of this tool I fought so hard to get.

Nope, I'm not on a diet. This is my new life. It has room for birthday cake and Thanksgiving pie---but only on my birthday and Thanksgiving (and I've committed to a three-bite rule). Most of the foods that have tempted me in the past are SO readily available (or so mediocre) that there's just no reason (to me) to go off-plan for them. I'd rather plan--and enjoy---than indulge and regret.

My doctor's recommendations are VERY conservative. Many foods are not permitted until 75 percent of excess weight is lost. The foods included are largely my red-light foods. He's a smart guy, my doctor--he knows this. He knows that patients who learn to eat DIFFERENTLY than they did before enjoy the greatest weight loss success.

I think I'll allow myself to reap the benefits of his experience, My own kind of sucks.

Love your honesty and candor. It sounds like you are working really hard to work your tool! :wink:

So there's alot of back and forth about what the rules are, and not wanting to be on a diet all the time, and portion control, etc. The common theme here seems to be that:

1. We chose this surgery to lose weight and keep it off

2. We need this tool at a proper adjustment to help us achieve #1

3. We also make the choices about what we put on our plates and int our mouths

4. If we remain accountable to ourselves to eat the foods we choose in portions that will keep us at 1200 calories a day or less we will lose weight, and learn how to keep it off

5. We do not drink while we're eating.

Some of us are more open to "rules" than others. It doesn't matter what you call it, portion control, leaving the table when you are satisfied rather than full, choosing good healthy foods MOST of the time, diet or whatever.

We have all committed to a lifestyle change pof some sort in order to help this band do its "job". Looks like those of us who follow the rules very closely are able to get the weight off, and fluctuating too far off course doesn't give you the best results. For me, at 424 pounds with lots of medical issues I stuck to my doctor's rules for the 2 years it took me to get the weight off. They included a glass of wine with dinner if I choose to have it, as long as I was aware of the calories and compensated for it. This is not dieting to me, it is learning how to be "normal". Most of the people I know who have always had a healthy weight are selective at times about what they eat. They dont stay "thin" by not paying attention. They also don't consume a half gallon of ice cream or a whole cake like I used to be able to do.

It's a process for us, learning how to have a normal relationship with food.

What are the 'rules'? Read enough posts and you find that there are few hard and fast rules. Some doctors require their patients to stick to 800 calories or 1/2 cup of food at a meal and eat only 3 meals. At the other end of the spectrum, patients are told to eat 1200-1400 calories per day and 6 small meals.

Some are told not to drink carbonated beverages. Some are told they can after so many months.

Before we start talking about 'breaking the rules' we really need to define what the rules are. The only hard and fast rules I've seen are to drink our 64 oz of water every day and don't drink with meals.

Perhaps the question should have been, "Do you break *your* doctor's rules?" So I'll answer that question.

My doctor doesn't make rules and he's pretty up front about that...so no rules to break. Perhaps it's because he also has a band and has first hand experience and not just head knowledge. He makes suggestions but is pretty clear that they are just that. That each of us has to find how to make the band work for us.

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I agree that the right question is "Do you break *your* doctor's rules?" Thanks for that!:wink:

The manufacturers of the Lap-Band and REALIZE band have different rules posted on their sites.

I also have found that there are a few rules that most practices follow like: don't drink with meals, get enough protein(usually setting a target number of grams), eat good quality meals and don't graze, don't drink your calories, take small bites and chew thoroughly, learn what foods are difficult for you to tolerate, take your vitamins.

There is definitely variation from practice to practice and I totally agree that the most important thing is to work with your doctor to find what works for you. I have tremendous respect for my surgeon; he acts as my head coach on this banded living journey, and I work very closely with him and his practice to get the most from this life-changing tool. My doctor really helped me to undestand the meaning of the lap-band as a tool, and the need to learn how to work the tool to get the most out of it (if you are interested in more on that topic, you can read my blog entry Maintaining #002, Exploring #005: Is Gastric Banding a Surgery or A Tool? 10/10/2009).

I also think it's critically important that we all remain accountable for our decisions and honest with ourselves. It sounds like you do too!

Edited February 24, 201016 yr by atgoalgal
missed an important point

My doc had a list of rules that I try to follow most of the time. I do have some wine once a week, and I do have an occasional beer and an occasional diet coke. I try to follow the not drinking with meals rule as much as possible. However I have a banded daughter who has never been one to follow rules, and she has ignored almost all of the rules. She has lost 100lbs anyway. She says she got banded because she was unable to follow diets so she just does what she wants. I guess we will see how it goes in the future, but I am not sure yet how necessary the rules even are. I am a natural rule follower, she isn't. She is a grown woman and capable of making her own decisions as well as her own mistakes. I wish sucess to all and this disscussion will probably go on for years to come. Hugs!!!

I agree with your stance. Making my own rules definitely did not work for me. So I follow the rules I've been given as closely as I can. Does that mean that, if I'm genuinely hungry, I won't have an extra half-ounce of Protein? No. It also doesn't mean that, on days when my pain level is astronomical that I force myself to do the same punishing gym regimen.

But I do weigh, measure, and record EVERYTHING I eat. I log all of my exercise.

A lot of people tell me, "Then you're just on a diet---like all of the OTHER diets you've been on!" But I don't see it that way at all.

I am making myself accountable to myself. I am keeping track of what I do so that I can identify patterns if and when I run into trouble. I am advancing my eating as recommended to get the maximum out of this tool I fought so hard to get.

Nope, I'm not on a diet. This is my new life. It has room for birthday cake and Thanksgiving pie---but only on my birthday and Thanksgiving (and I've committed to a three-bite rule). Most of the foods that have tempted me in the past are SO readily available (or so mediocre) that there's just no reason (to me) to go off-plan for them. I'd rather plan--and enjoy---than indulge and regret.

My doctor's recommendations are VERY conservative. Many foods are not permitted until 75 percent of excess weight is lost. The foods included are largely my red-light foods. He's a smart guy, my doctor--he knows this. He knows that patients who learn to eat DIFFERENTLY than they did before enjoy the greatest weight loss success.

I think I'll allow myself to reap the benefits of his experience, My own kind of sucks.

Thanks for sharing Betsy. I think I'm going to put your post up over my desk! Even in my fourth year, I still look for inspiration on a regular basis. Thanks for sharing. You gave me a gift!

I chose this surgery to be what I consider normal and to have normal relationships with food. So I have no rules. I eat what I want, when I want, but because I worked so hard on breaking food taboos and weird hang ups etc, what I want and when I want it is usually appropriate. And if what I want is a donut then nobody ever got fat on one donut, they get fat on scoffing down seven donuts becuase donuts are forbidden and arent I a disgusting person for eating them and I better run till I drop for doing that and anyway doesnt it not count if nobody sees you eat it so maybe I'll eat that tub of ice cream too and oh, boy, I'm fat, I'm disgusting, i break every diet, I'm going to start another one on Monday and I'll record everything and I'm going to exercise every day no matter what gets in the way and I'm going to make those rules so hard and strict and cling to them so desperately that when i break one the whole thing falls apart.

All it took for me was truly giving myself permission to eat stupid donuts. Once that was allowed, then I didnt want seven, I wanted just the one! Of course the band helped, because I never lost weight just doing that before, it takes Portion Control and a calorie deficit which is what the band is for. But a life of counting, measuring, weighing, considering certain foods off limit, that wasnt what I wanted and it wasnt what my doctor considered a desireable outcome either.

So I follow my "rules" in that I dont overload my stomach and I do say no when my wants are a little over the top, but most of the time, I just obey my body, and make sure I exercise and stay active.

All it took for me was truly giving myself permission to eat stupid donuts. Once that was allowed, then I didnt want seven, I wanted just the one! Of course the band helped, because I never lost weight just doing that before, it takes Portion Control and a calorie deficit which is what the band is for.

Isn't it funny the head games we play with ourselves...and I mean that in a nice way.

My aunt and I would go to our county fair (which is the largest in the country) and we would come home 4 hours later (cuz we couldn't stand the crowds) stuffed to the gills from overeating...after swearing we wouldn't...and feeling guilty for pigging out so badly.

Then one year we both decided we were going to eat our way from one side of the fair to the other and we weren't going to feel guilty. We left the fair 4 hours later and I think we each got a fry and corn dog and that was it. We laughed our way across the parking lot.

When I was dieting, I found that my cravings were best controlled by giving myself permission to eat them...if I still want them in the morning. Generally, I didn't.

I'm kind of doing the same thing now and, as you said, the difference now is that the band is helping with portion control and calorie restriction (as a result) all the time. Life is good.

.

I chose this surgery to be what I consider normal and to have normal relationships with food. So I have no rules. I eat what I want, when I want, but because I worked so hard on breaking food taboos and weird hang ups etc, what I want and when I want it is usually appropriate. And if what I want is a donut then nobody ever got fat on one donut, they get fat on scoffing down seven donuts becuase donuts are forbidden and arent I a disgusting person for eating them and I better run till I drop for doing that and anyway doesnt it not count if nobody sees you eat it so maybe I'll eat that tub of ice cream too and oh, boy, I'm fat, I'm disgusting, i break every diet, I'm going to start another one on Monday and I'll record everything and I'm going to exercise every day no matter what gets in the way and I'm going to make those rules so hard and strict and cling to them so desperately that when i break one the whole thing falls apart.

All it took for me was truly giving myself permission to eat stupid donuts. Once that was allowed, then I didnt want seven, I wanted just the one! Of course the band helped, because I never lost weight just doing that before, it takes Portion Control and a calorie deficit which is what the band is for. But a life of counting, measuring, weighing, considering certain foods off limit, that wasnt what I wanted and it wasnt what my doctor considered a desireable outcome either.

So I follow my "rules" in that I dont overload my stomach and I do say no when my wants are a little over the top, but most of the time, I just obey my body, and make sure I exercise and stay active.

I truly love this post!! Thank you!! I feel like I want to frame it and keep it where I can see it everyday. I do pretty much the same thing. I am a diabetic type 1 so I am insulin dependent. I have done low carb for the last 11 years for blood sugar control and so I have learned to prefer this life style. It was perfect for the band. I eat what I crave which no longer includes donuts, but I love that I can now control portions. I love that I can go about my day without obsessing about the next meal or about food in general. Thanks again for the post............Hugs!!!:eek:

Never break the rules. I have just convinced myself that Resees cups are mushies. Find it tough as of late. I may as well paint a 40 on my scale. as I have kept my weight loss at that point for a few months. I am almost at good restriction and I eat pretty well but I find motivation waning as of late. I am seriously considering joining weight watchers to get myself back on track.

GReg

Never break the rules. I have just convinced myself that Resees cups are mushies. Find it tough as of late. I may as well paint a 40 on my scale. as I have kept my weight loss at that point for a few months. I am almost at good restriction and I eat pretty well but I find motivation waning as of late. I am seriously considering joining weight watchers to get myself back on track.

GReg

Greg,

If joining WW is what you need to do to get yourself back on track, then do it. Don't waste another moment!

I found my motivation waning the last few days despite losing 18+ pounds over the last 3 weeks. Don't ask me why cuz I haven't figured it out myself. All I know is that I wanted to hit Carabbas and eat a big old bowl of Rigatoni Martino all my myself...even though in the past my husband and I always shared.

Thankfully, it doesn't matter what I want. The band has other ideas.

Hang in there. Go join WW and find your motivations!

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