Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

I attended the information session. I pretty much knew about the procedure and which one I'd be interested in having. My husband unfortunately did not make it. He had to work and could not get out of it.

He doesn't think I need the surgery (it's nice to know he loves me just the way I am) even though I most definitely qualify and have been struggling with my weight my whole life. I think the idea of surgery scares him and he'd rather I keep on working out and working on nutrition.

The whole idea of surgery scares me and I'm not sure if I want to go through with it, yet. I'm nervous about this myself and I could really use at least, his understanding why this is important for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Is he prepared to make the sacrifices to work out with you and modify his eating habits along with you for the rest of your lives? Have you tried this with him? What is his reaction when you falter on your nutrition or don't feel like working out?

Surgery should be a last resort and it isn't going away. You are young, take your time and work with him to make your decision. Although you are both thinking differently about it, it doesn't mean either of you is more right than the other but in the end, it is your life and you have the final say.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband was very against this at first but now He thinks it was such a great thing for me to do. The more he learns about the surgery the more supportive he is. He is so proud and excited that I am losing weight. Achieving my dreams really. I never had any hope that I could live a healthy vibrante life until my doc mentioned the lapband too me. Now I can actually envision my self smaller, healthier and with more energy. I am 12 days post op and already feel the transformation happening. I have lost 20 pounds, 8 since surgery. It is so much easier for me to get up in the morning. I am not falling asleep all the time. It has gotten easier for me to take care of myself. I have more motivation. This surgery has already changed my life. I never want to go back to the way I was a few months ago. I was so sleepy and tired and just couldn't get my studying done. Couldn't think clearly. Don't give up on all these possabilities. Tell your husband it is not just a matter of what size you are but a matter of how you feel. He doesn't know what it is like for us to walk into a room full of people or meet a new person. Being fat is more than just on your body it's in your head. Can I fit in this seat? Is my deodorant still working? Am I the fattest person here? Do they think I am a pig? lazy? I think I have fat brain. Which makes me uncomfortable everywhere I go for some reason or another. Now, I see a light at the end of the tunnel. One day I will be just like anyone else and won't stand out because I am fat but because I am beautiful and brilliant. It is alot of hard work but now I can see myself reaching my goal. Prelapband I never even dreamed of it. Good luck to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I first brought the idea of getting the Lap Band up to my husband, I thought he would look at me like I had two heads. I know he loves me the way that I am, but I was still nervous. His first reaction was "Do you even qualify?" (God Bless his soul, but then once I began talking with him and really explaining all my reasons for wanting to do this he was super supportive.

Yes, the idea of having surgery is a scary one for a lot of people, but it is a safe operation. When I could sense his hesitation at first about me going under the knife, I explained to him that it was comparable to the laproscopic surgery I had back in september for an ectopic pregnancy and my recovery would be very similar.

Is you husband overweight, if I may ask? Sometimes it is hard when our spouses don't understand completely the struggle we go through with our weight. Many men just think that "Oh we can go to the gym and lose the weight by working out!". They don't realize that for a lot of women it's just not that simple. I spent the last year doing weight watchers and going to the gym. Losing weight in and of itself is a battle, but keeping it off is a continuing struggle that most of us have been unsuccessful with.

I think that by talking with him, being honest and open and sharing your fears, your hopes and your dreams, the two of you will be able to move along together on your journey. Yes it is scary at times to think about being banded, but what scares me more is knowing that if I keep on going like I have been for the last 15 years of my life, I quite possible won't be around to enjoy my life with my daughter and my husband.

I've been reading a lot of blogs from fellow posters and watching a lot of Youtube videos posted by people who have been banded and they are truly inspirational. They help to reinforce my decision and I know I am doing the right thing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I first brought up surgery, my husband was against it. None of his family have ever struggled with being overweight...not even by a little bit...so he couldn't grasp what I dealt with on a daily basis. I basically told him that I loved him and I wanted to grow old with him, and at the rate I was going and the success (or lack of) that I was having with my weight, it was becoming increasingly likely that he would be a widower for the second time. I also told him that I hoped he would come around because I was going to do this with or without his support because I had to for my health.

By the day of my surgery, he was on my team and has been my biggest supporter.

.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Darrylkeelf

        dating site just for sex in florissant- https://allwarrior.xyz/?dj7sZN

      3. Darrylkeelf

        dating site just for sex in florissant- https://allwarrior.xyz/?dj7sZN

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×