Manatee

Thanks for the comments -- but I have a Y chromosome :tt1:

Ok, a question for those who have been at goal for a while: when do people forget your old self? I'm getting -really- tired of every conversation with people eventually including something about weight loss/eating/exercise/etc. It's almost as if for most people, they're just sitting back waiting for the fatman to reappear. I'm only a year out, so I'm guessing that this goes away after a while, but perhaps it doesn't. Maybe the next step is to move somewhere that people never knew that old me? Thoughts?

Just a question for Alex -- why was this forum set up as a social group rather than a normal one? It seems to me that this could be a valuable resource, and it is instead stashed away in the 'Left Handed Teetotaler Wisconsin Banders' area. Not a bash against what's -in- the forum, just a concern that it will be underutilized where it is.

Yesterday, for various reasons, I ended up at home in time to watch the noon news. I noticed an interesting thing. In the 45 minutes that I watched of an hour-long newscast, I saw six advertisements for weight loss surgery. Six. One advertisement every 8 minutes or less. They weren't all from the same doctor either, so this wasn't a side effect of a bulk-buy deal. I suppose part of that has to do with the target audience of that time slot (stay at home moms), but the blitz really bothered me. All the ads had the same underlying message: "Tired of fighting? Talk to us, and we'll make a miracle happen." Yes, but.... I know docs and insurance companies require seminars and 'full disclosure', but those of us who are on the other side -know- that we didn't truly get all the information. The physical effects and the possibility of complications were mentioned, but nobody warned about the mental and emotional rollercoaster one was boarding. Write a check, go to sleep, wake up thin and everything is fine. That's the promise on TV, and on the radio, and on billboards, and in print and seemingly everywhere these days. I worry that many will wake up in a nightmare instead of their dream.

Personally, I never liked exercise before. I first lost about 40 lbs without the exercise, then just decided to make it happen. I still sometimes don't like it, but more often I really feel bothered if I -cannot- work my daily exercise routine in. Just say "I -will- do this for 4 weeks" and see what happens. It doesn't take that long to build a habit.

Dr. Curtis Mosier out of Denton is my doc, and I cannot praise him enough. Cash price is around 15K (or was last year), there's a strong support system in place. Home Page Web site isn't much, but that doesn't matter

'Self esteem' without a valid reason is also known as 'delusion'. Unfortunately, that seems to be the default mental position these days. After all, it's taught in schools, and makes everyone feel 'good' -- no matter what their reality might truly be. So yes, I feel those who have dedicated themselves to slow or no loss despite being surgically altered need to take a good look at their lifestyle and actions.

I won't argue your post, but the band worked for me.

Tonight when I click on the Forums tab, the forums are badly skewed to the right. I've tried it on multiple machines. Anyone else seeing this?

Just go do it. Get to your goal and see what happens. You can always gain the weight back later :smile:

Don't expect too much from my blog -- it's only about the weight loss, not the rest of my life. Mostly "got a fill, too tight, loosen, repeat" with the occasional rant and ramble about this process

I'm only 10-15 lbs from my goal, down some 100 in just over a year. I fit in a 34 waist jean, medium shirt. I -still- think of myself as fat. When I see news reports about obesity in America, I identify with the MO crowd. I'm not sure what will finally fix this. I know my current discomfort lies in unrealistic expectations and media images (ever seen a cover of "Men's Health"?), but I'm not sure what the next step is. I too blog, and belong to a WLS group over at livejournal. This apparently isn't an uncommon issue at all. Most recommend therapy, but I don't think a normal counselor would do. You'd almost have to find one that specializes in post-obesity trama. Good luck!

Hi gang. Newbie here, sorta, and I've been thinking of buying a bike. Never ridden seriously before. This is what I'm looking at, in the $900 range: BikePedia - 2007 Masi Vincere Complete Bicycle Thoughts? The guys I'll be hanging with are serious, with 2-3K carbon whatever machines. I don't want to spend that kind of cash yet

The slip can be fixed without removing the band. I had a serious slip, and the doc ended up removing the band, repositioning the stomach/pouch and placing the same band back on all in the same operation. It's been working fine since (normal post-op procedures apply, it's just like getting it the first time).

I was on a liquid diet for 10 days pre-surgery and lost 10 lbs. The rest came off since then. See sig for details.

MMMMMMM Cherry limeaid and onion rings

Foxglove -- lost the 10, and tell your husband you weight more than you do Seriously, this is your deal, and you're the one that needs to feel comfortable in your body.

By default, this whole place is a female forum. Just my $.02

I once got 'trapped' in a restaurant because I was too big to maneuver back through the tables and chairs to the door. It had filled up after we came in. It was embarrassing to have to ask people to move out of their chairs so I could get by. :laugh:

Why would I NOT expect people to treat me differently? I look different and my personality is emerging from the prison of "the fat guy". It's not surprising that people (ladies) will not be viewing me in the same way. Trust me, the visual/physical thing is definitely present in both genders!

Ok, I know this is going to catch flak, but so be it... Y'ALL created the BBW label. That's a female thing to somehow minimize the impact of being obese. You will never see a guy calling himself a BBM. Fact are, for the majority of folks out there, size does indeed matter. One can either rage against the machine, or just deal with it and move on. In both cases the world will remain the same, so it's only your time and effort you're wasting. And yes, fat guys get rejected for our body size too. You think the ladies aren't visual?

You're not the first, but welcome to the group!

This is one area where I really envy the ladies. Guys don't get to have "goal outfits." All our cuts are about the same, they just start taking more fabric :blushing:

(disclaimer -- this post is going to piss some of you off. Some of you are going to say "that's not true!' Sorry, but this is Life As I See It) According to my LapBand coordinator who ran the familiarization sessions, divorce, infidelity and increased sexual adventuring are very common after massive weight loss. When one thinks about it, those stats shouldn't come as a surprise. Those of us who have been buried in blubber for years or decades become used to NOT being objects of desire. We become good friends, good providers, good listeners, great compensators. What we tend to not be is great lovers. That mindset wears on one, and does manifest itself in the personality. Flash forward and the weight is rolling off, and now there's this whole new element in one's life. Suddenly people are using the words "hot" and "attractive" and "sexy" and they're talking about YOU. How amazing, and baffling, and disturbing. People who've been skinny forever know how to deal with this, but a lot of us don't. Body dysmorphia is real and common with WLS. When the 'fat person in the mirror' is coupled with unexpected interest, that's bound to destabilize the personality a bit. The two common options at that point are really "wahooo!" or "run away!" Depending on how that manifests, one can either end up in a new sexual relationship (for better or worse, usually worse), or one ends up shunning the advances (which if this occurs in a marriage, causes issues there) So that's our side of it. What causes the partners to run? Let's go back to the fat-bound personality. Like it or not, we do tend to change personalities when we lose weight. Look at the before-and-after pics thread. 95% of those people are displaying radically different personas in the post pictures. They're visibly more confident, outgoing, smiling, etc. That's all great news, right? Well, yes -- but maybe the partner doesn't agree. There's comfort in familiarity. As radical a change as we're experiencing, they're dealing with the same thing secondhand. Their partner and friend is suddenly someone else, and they have to get to know this new thinner happier etc. person who is in their house. This new person shares memories and a name with the person that was there before, but really isn't the same anymore. Is it unreasonable that some would be very uncomfortable with that? Some people just really can't handle change.

I figured I might as well say hi, for the few months I'll be allowed in this thread :rolleyes2: (Yep, another Texan)