Who decides when you've lost enough weight?

[Foxglove 8]

Long time lurker, 3 years postband, never posted before, but have enjoyed everyone else's posts.

Made my doctor's goal in a year, then continued on to lose 15 more pounds, and if I got to choose, I'd lose 10 more. At 5'10, my doctor said he felt 172 was a good weight. Currently I reside between 155-160, and I think 142 is ideal.

However, EVERYONE ELSE thinks I'm too thin at my current weight. Husband wants me to gain 10 and 3 daughters agree.

I feel fine at 155-160 and my clothes fit perfectly. I have no fat spots, love handles, or anything else I need to lose to lose.

But at 142 I'd be "model thin" and that might be kind of cool. Still, my husband's opinion is so crucial --we've been married for 32 years. He always says he doesn't find super skinny women attractive. And I might point out that even when I weighed 266 he always said I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.

So, who do you think should decide? Doctor? Husband? Me? Oh, and FYI, I missed the whole sagging skin problem. Just luck or genes, but I did dodge that bullet so I don't think everyone who loses 100+ necessarily gets loose skin. On the other hand, my loss was slow, relatively, over a year . . .

So did you decide how much to lose? Someone else?

Foxglove

[Lisa99 1]

Congrats on your long-term banding and success!

Last time I saw my surgeon he said he thought that I should consider myself at goal and to change my fill to a maintenance fill (my BMI is 23).

I would like to eventually lost another 10 pounds or so, but I'm fine where I am if I don't. My husband has left the decision completely up to me.

[Guest Leslie2Lose]

I'm no where near goal - have probably about a year to go, but I am setting my own goals. DH loved me like I was and he doesn't like "skinny" women either. My goal so far is a general size, not weight. I've always had a lot of muscle so I'm not sure what my "ideal" weight would be. I'd love to be a size 8/10 (American). Right now my goal is 20 pounds by August...I'm trying to set mini-goals.

Congratulations on getting to goal for you! I'd love to have no loose skin - right now it's a waiting game. I'm envious!

[stI24nger 1]

Hmmm....I gotta "weigh in" a little here. First of all...the thought of ever being "model thin" is so completely foreign to me that my opinion might matter very little to you.

However...I will say this. Consider what your husband has to say. I mean, you're at a healthy weight, you obviously have a healthy level of self confidence, you feel good in your clothes, and your man is happy. That's a whole bunch of good stuff vs. "model-thin might be kinda cool."

I'm just sayin'.

[Cota129 0]

I think you should do what feels good for you. It's not your husband's decision, and I personally feel that what I decide for my body is all that matters. The only question I would ask my self is "Can I maintain a weight that low for the long term?"

[Fdiljn 0]

I so wish I were that close. I think your body will tell you what your goal should be. Some people carry 155 very well and others do not.

[Numbrgirl 0]

So encouraging to hear from a long-term banded individual!!!

I totally agree with FDILJN - Your body will tell you what is best for you. It is really difficult not to get caught up in all the acceptable norms that society sets for women. I don't want to be super model thin - I want to be healthy, strong and athletic. In the past 155 has been ideal for me and this is about 10 lbs over the insurance charts. I am working to get back there and then live to maintain it.

[picturemethin 0]

It should be whatever makes you feel most comfortable. If your comfortable about where you are right now, stay where your at. When my mom lost a lot of weight, it took a very long time to get used to her being smaller although she still remains at around 200 lbs not small really, I still look at her being somewhat anorexic.

Its hard to get used to when someone drastically changes there appearance in a short amount of time.

Good Luck to you are your family!

[heatherlynnTX 0]

Sometimes it is good to listen to others around you who love you and care about you:wub:. I believe that it is important to value other peoples advice especially when you ask them their opinion. But, that doesn't mean that you have to do what they say. You are the one who ultimately has to make the decision. It is your body and you inevidably will have to be the one who lives with the choices that you make. Obviously you love your husband because you have been married so long and surely you would want him to listen to you if he had something he wanted to do that you did not want him to do , so sometimes you just have to put the shoe on the other foot, because ultimately you do want your husband to be attracted to you and you know you feel great and look great now. It's easy to be selfish:blush:, sometimes it's more rewarding to sacrifice for others around you. It depends on how important it is to you that you exceed your goal. Also, you might want to ask your doctor if there are health concerns or if it's just his opinon. And well, that's just my opinion.

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

I wish I could decide that I wanted to keep losing and I kept losing. I seem to be stuck and not losing anymore. I can't handle any more fill either. I exercise all the time, and my body seems to like the weight I am at, even though I would love to lose 15-20 more lbs.

Are you doing anything special to keep losing or just following bandster rules?

[Manatee 3]

Foxglove -- lost the 10, and tell your husband you weight more than you do

Seriously, this is your deal, and you're the one that needs to feel comfortable in your body.

[TerryB 0]

Frankly... I am at goal but i also think I am going to lose another 10 or so lbs. I am 5'6" and 150 and fit in a size 8. I think another 10lbs would be a safety net in case I have some issue with the band and have to have an unfill. I am currently completely unfilled due to an esphogial irritation and I gained back 3lbs. My size 8's are tight and when I get my fill in two weeks I would like to lose an additional 10 just to be safe.

I don't know about you but gaining is not a problem... losing is

[Cheryl Ann 2]

I'm an inch or so shorter than you, and hope to get to 155 -- but ideally, would like to weigh between 142 and 147 (a 5 lb. margin to "play" with). In a perfect world, I would weight 132. Everyone has a "magic number" and that would be mine. However, as I get older my expectations get lower, or maybe I'm just afraid to hope.

I've been as low as 110 (and unable to gain), and as high as 252 (and unable to stop gaining), but most of my life has been spent at or under whatever my "ideal" weight should be. That said, I agree -- it's how you feel about it that matters most.

The fact that you have made it so far makes me believe that you can make it as far as you decide.

I hope I am even close to as successful as you have been!

[caffyphu 0]

Just like haircuts, it's my hair I wear it like I want. Just be happy and healthy. Weight is a number. more important is how you feel and your health. Congrats!! Could you share some before and after pictures with us for extra encouragement?

Cathy

[juliegeraci 7]

At 5'10" tall I think 155-160 is ideal. What size are you and where do you want to be? I think a size 12 or 14 is the limit for4 5'10. Also, how hard do you want it to be for you to maintain. That is key for me. I'm 5'8" tall and feel fine in a size 16.n Good luck with your decision.