RuthD

When you say “very ill” are you in pain? If so you may need to speak to your Bariatric team and tell them everything ASAP.


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I feel exactly the same way. I know it is a confidence thing etc. but so far I cannot overcome it so I just avoid dating in general

I’ve lost 145lbs to date and feel great. I’m also single for the first time in my life, and have been on the dating scene for about a year.
Dating has been a struggle because I am very open with my journey. I have lots of before and after Instagram pics and talk about it frequently. Weight loss is definitely my biggest personal accomplishment. It’s always a tipping point when I’m out with someone for the first time, trying to explain it to people who haven’t been or knows anyone who has gone through it.
The loose skin has become a mental block. I feel like I look one way fully clothed and it’s a “surprise” when things take a sexual turn. I’m very self conscious about it. Most people I’ve been with don’t seem to care or at least pretend that they don’t. But I can’t help but feel like I’m in a “fraudulent package” if that makes sense.
Anyone else feel this way?

Ruth, work on your self esteem and take some chances. It does not get easier as you get older.
After 7 years of marriage, my ex broke my heart. I was still in my 20s, but my self esteem was in the pits. I was only about 150 pounds and I thought I was a giant. I would look at my body, without cellulite or stretch marks and wonder why someone would want to be with me. I just felt ugly. Even when men would tell me I was pretty.... I was worried how they would feel when they saw me naked and saw how big my thighs were. What if they found out I had some acne on my back! I was freaked out over one or two zits!
I never, ever looked that good again and my weight only went up and up and up. As I got older, no one was chasing me! I pushed away the ones that showed interest.
If I could go back in time, I would find a therapist and work on building my self esteem. I would say "yes" to invitations and allow the men to decide if they found me attractive instead of making the decision for them. So my advice to you is to take a chance, be up front if you need to. If someone asks you out, just go. And if you can afford it, go see a therapist. It can really, really help.
Good luck, and do save for plastic surgery. I had a breast lift after my first big loss and, after 15 years, they still look great! Even skinny women can have cellulite and stretch marks, by the way.
Love yourself! Good luck with the weight loss journey.

I understand where you are coming from and I hope some of this helps.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! Have you looked at yourself in a positive way because it doesn’t matter if you weigh 130 or 350 lbs. Being comfortable with yourself comes from the inside. Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves when we are in a place that we didn’t want to be in. A therapist may help also. Love will find a way to you but first try to love yourself. Make a list of all the good traits you have. keep the list and keep adding more and more good things as days pass, repeat them to yourself when you are feeling blue.
I send you good luck and lots of love your way ❤️

a lot of people find that plastic surgery does wonders for their self esteem, which sounds like an issue for you. I didn't have the same experience you're having since I'm 60 years old and have been married for 100 years, but because of it (i.e., my marital status and (mostly) my age), I himmed and hawed about having plastic surgery and am now SO GLAD I did. Day and night difference!

Ok here it comes! I am going to pour my heart to you and I truly hope this forum can help me out.

So, I am 27 years old, live in Europe, have a decent education, have my own studio apartment, car, some savings, good sence of humor, I am still studying to become a Vet.

In my teenage years I was a strong athlete, fit. Then I got injured and never fully returned to sports, but recovered. As the years gone by I have focused on my studies, graduated as bachelor of Law, did not feel as if it was the right path for me so got in to Veterinary School. I am very happy with that decision and career wise completely satisfied. My problem was always relationships. Even when I was quite fit I only had one boyfriend for shorter time loved him, but after sime time he broke my heart. Experimented with a girl, nothing too serious and the I got overweight, then obessed, not morbidly but obessed never the less. I strained from dating because I was ugly, have never put myself into possition to date, hid, ran from relationships like from fire.

I had my surgery half a year ago, and little by little I gotten into a better shape, no where near perfection or my goal, but I look decent. I have not told anyone apart from my family that I had RNY and I am not planning too. Which I know will be a problem in my future relationships too. I think about dating but I am terrified! So scared. Firstly, I am not experienced, and shy when it comes to that, I don’t trust guys, always think they will make fun. Secondly, I am scared of people seeing my body, I have loose skin, loads of stretchmarks and still fat on my belly, and my chest is deflated and crepey crikly. I just want to cry every single time I think how unatractive it must be, and that no man would actually want to touch this blahhhh body. I started to excercise but of course it is not making a change that would impact the skin that much I just feel a bit stronger.

I feel like I have told my self that I will be happy I just need to lose some weight, now that I’ve lost 35 kg I am sad , because I realised I am not skinny nor at my goal, and the skin problem is still keeping me from wanting to date.

All of my friends tell me to get Tinder etc. but I just panick that I would disappoint the guy when it would come to sex and stuff. As they see me dressed I seem quite ok, but imagine the disgust when undressed. I do love myself but I am disgusted by the thought that a man should see ir touch such body. Everyone just assume that I get loads of attention etc because my personality is fun and bubbly, but truly I am lost. I want to be loved and I know I could love someone like no one else. I know I am the most loyal and giving person, and once I have my eyes on a person I don’t need no one else. But I am afraid that no one would have eyes for me.

I know that with time I could get some plastic surgery to lift or tuck. But I feel like this would be just another excuse for me, to “just wait until .... and then you can find your love” type of thing. I am not getting younger too, I don’t have loads of time to meet new people because I work a lot. I don’t even know what I want people to advise me on, but please do ❤️

I thought of another one today! My armpits used to be fleshy and easy to shave. Now they're all concave and I struggle to get all the hair with the razor!

Men never admit they have small penises up front or say anything about their shortcomings when naked. Why should I handicap myself when men don't.
I've never had a man be like oh girl let me warn you, I don't have a 6 pack!
I don't disclose anything about loose skin and no one has ever commented on it once. I don't hide the fact I have lost weight, but men I date don't even ask me about it or care. They know I'm active.
I've lost a lot of weight. Even though I look good in clothes, you can look at me and tell I used to be fat. The arms are a dead give away. They already know what they are getting into before I take my clothes off.

First, If your story is real, and you are not a troll,
please get help. You are dealing with some deep seated mental health issues that need professional help.
Second, if you are a troll,
please get help. You are dealing with some deep seated mental health issues that need professional help.
Either way I wish you healing and peace.

I have gone back and forth the last 4 months whether or not I felt the complications were worth the results, and today, after blacking out in Walmart and having to sit on the floor to regroup numerous times throughout the day so I could do simple tasks like pick something up off the floor, I have officially decided I made a terrible decision. I am happy for those of you who have seen benefits of this surgery, but I am just... existing... day by day. I have lost no weight in 2 months (stalling at the same weight I did on Atkins, but with a crapload more complications). I feel awful. I could deal with an ulcer and the gallbladder and the hernia, but this low blood pressure is actually ruining my life - not to be dramatic. I have gotten lightheaded and confused at work during important meetings, I can hardly exercise without having to sit or lay down and I already paid for a trainer... I can't even lift a basket of laundry without falling on my butt. I sent a desperate email to my surgeon to try a prescription to raise my BP. I'm ending up on far more pills than I ever was pre-op. Losing 60 stupid pounds is not worth this. And I have no one I can vent to because my mother "told me" I always have problems with surgery and I'd regret this and I do. So I feel very alone. Someone please tell me this gets better....
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My grocery bill has gone way down. Plus, I basically never eat out anymore, and when I do it is in tiny portions.
Some examples of what I buy:
Protein Shakes are typically $2/2.5 each. Fairlife milk is about $4/52 oz - expensive for milk, but still only about $0.61 per 8 oz serving. And it has more Protein, so it is worth it. But you can also buy cheaper milk. So a meal is less than $3. And Premier Protein is $25/18 at costco (sometimes on sale for $5 off) - so $1.40 each.
I buy frozen fish/shrimp at costco - a bag costs about $14 and has roughly 9 fillets in it. Lasts me forever. Each fillet lasts 2 meals for me (3 in the earlier days) - so about $0.78/serving. Add in some canned or frozen veggies, which are a few cents per serving. So, dinner is less than a couple dollars. Edited to add - and a little veg will last a while. I LOVE veggies and easily would eat a single zucchini or head of broccoli in a sitting. Now a zucc or brocoli will last me a week. SO there is savings there, too.
My eggs are fairly expensive - about $4/dozen (they're free range, organic, etc), so about $0.33/serving. But you can get eggs much cheaper.
I make dried Beans - a lb of beans lasts me forever. And the bag is only about $1-2.
My most expensive things for me are veggie sausage (about $4.50/bag - about $0.75/each) and every now and again I treat myself with really good cheese.
My Vitamins cost about $26/30 day supply, so about $0.86/day.
I track my spending pretty closely. Between rarely eating out (especially bringing my lunch to work every day) and eating a lot less, my food bill (grocery, vitamins, dining out) is significantly less than it was before. Plus, I'm off a few of my meds, so that saves me money every month.
If you're worried about the initial outflow of cash to get supplies, start buying things a bit at a time before surgery. Watch for when frozen veg goes on sale and stock up. Same with meat/fish/whatever protein and freeze it in 2-3 oz portions.

dinner tonight: one egg omelette with .5 slice cheese, .5 slice of mozzarella, and 2 oz ham. Sweet potato waffle fries with homemade dump ranch
 

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Thank you.
These charts are crap. If anything they show you what is too thin if you fit in their normal range. The real concern is that I dropped 25 pounds over the past 5-6 weeks. 18 months into this my weight should be stabilizing - maybe drop a pound a week and even seeing a few weeks where I gain a bit.

I think younger people may have a harder time with it because you still may be thinking in the back of your mind that you can do it on your own. At age 50 I am absolutely positive that I’ve tried everything and that this is definitely my last resort. So any nervousness that I had is pretty much gone. I know that the worst thing that I could do is not have the surgery and continue to struggle every day with my weight. If anything I’m just excited now. 2 weeks to go!

I'm in Ireland and I use https://www.fitforme.co.uk Vitamins. It's about 90 quid for a three month supply.

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Sorry, my bad, 90 quid for a six month supply but that's just for the multivitamin. I buy Iron separately from the chemist.

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I appreciate it, y’all! I think a lot of my reservations are coming from my family. They reallly don’t want me to do it. But I’ll continue educating myself and make sure I do what I feel is best for me.

Hi RuthD. The Vitamin daily requirement for sleeve surgery is very different than for RNY gastric bypass. So from the context of the post, it seems like you had sleeve surgery. Is that true?
So according to my surgeon, the following Vitamins are required for Sleeve patients:
Three Flintstone complete chewable multivitamins daily.
Additional 65 milligrams elemental Iron daily for menstruating women. [ferrous sulfate]
1200 to 1500 milligrams calcium citrate daily [I use Citrical - this can be tricky because the dosage rate is per 2 capsules.]
500 to 1000 micrograms sublingual B12 once per week. [methylcobalamin]
100 milligrams Thiamine (vitamin B1) once per week.
It is important to put a 2 hour separation between the vitamins that contain iron and those that contain Calcium. So in my case I found that what works best for me is to take the iron supplements just before bedtime.
My surgeon also told me to avoid "time release" vitamins and "gummy vitamins".
After around a few years, I transitioned off from Flintstone vitamins and started to use normal multivitamins. Flintstone chewable vitamins were fairly easy to use and were easy on my stomach. I use to buy them by the large bottles a few years ago, but they have changed primarily to gummy vitamins today. As a result the large economical bottles disappeared from the store shelves.
Now if you had RNY gastric bypass, then the requirements are different.
It might also be desirable to take a probiotic to reestablish the colonies of good gut bacteria after surgery.

I just bought a bariatric multi from this site and it is nice to take 1 capsule of the multi instead of the 3 capsules of the Bariatric Advantage brand. Cheaper too. I bought the bariatric advantage brand chewies Calcium. There are a lot of flavors and they are really a treat. They are too sweet/ candy like for my taste now and are higher in carbs than they should be imo. But I liked them before surgery. This site has a lot of options and information if you go into their online store. I alternate my leftover calcium chewies with Citrical. Those kind of suck because you have to take 2 pills 3 times a day and even though they say petite they are big. The chalky chewable type of most pills taste nasty to me so I steer away from them. Sometimes I use Vitamin b drops. Sometimes I drink a yakult (probiotic drink). I take melt in your mouth Biotin to try and keep my hair.

I had gastric sleeve surgery and here us my surgeon's recommendations

I did get cold feet, but was only thinking about how life is going to be better after I lose the weight and everyone was feeding into that state of mind too. So as an insecure and I guess week person I took others advise and position as my own? And I do have regrets. So, I am not against surgery if it is what person deffinately wants, but I would say don’t rush it, if you have any questions, even if you think they are small, stupid questions, ask them, you can delay surgery, it is not the end, if you need more time it is ok to have more time. I know bunch of people will come for me for saying this, but If you have doubts, get them resolved before you do this MAJOR surgery. With that being said, I suppose feeling nervous is normal, as it will change your life completely and the unkniwn is scary.

I did get cold feet, but was only thinking about how life is going to be better after I lose the weight and everyone was feeding into that state of mind too. So as an insecure and I guess week person I took others advise and position as my own? And I do have regrets. So, I am not against surgery if it is what person deffinately wants, but I would say don’t rush it, if you have any questions, even if you think they are small, stupid questions, ask them, you can delay surgery, it is not the end, if you need more time it is ok to have more time. I know bunch of people will come for me for saying this, but If you have doubts, get them resolved before you do this MAJOR surgery. With that being said, I suppose feeling nervous is normal, as it will change your life completely and the unkniwn is scary.

Well I hope you are wrong and you will grow to accept instead of regret, but I appreciate your honesty through this all. I find you. a young lady I am glad to know. Happy 2019 and may things go better in your life.

Hi, so I want to share something very personal. I know I will be judged for it but I have no other support. And because I feel like I am protected by this shield of anonymous I hope it will not haunt me but instead help me. I beg for understanding! So as some of you know I had doubts regarding the surgery RNY. I felt like with the support of members I got to the peaceful state of mind, prepared for what I should be eating and not, did quite a bit of research. I have noticed that in Europe (where I am from) there are no specific support groups and these types of surgeries are taboo to talk about, people are looked down for having them. So I haven't told anyone but my immediate family, and I also lied to two of my friends that I will have surgery for health purposes. My family was sceptic but I calmed them down buy telling how great it will be etc. Because I had to pay for the surgery most of the money was kindly given to me buy my mother. The surgeon gave me the date for the surgery in a month. So I felt like it was soon but by that time I felt I was prepared. So on the day of surgery I had doubts but as members said that was normal so I decided to follow through. As soon as I woke up I knew I have made a mistake. I feel like I have betrayed my body, myself, like it was the biggest mistake, irrational decission and that I was failed by the medical system in my country, as the leading up to the surgery is nothing as USA system. Yesterday I came to forum and read about the reversal and all of the horror stories of people getting sick even after years after surgery, fatigued and since that momment I cannot stop shaking inside, I feel paranoyed , so so so anxious, so emotional. I want to scream, I had so many nightmares in one night my heart is rushing. And the worst thing is I cannot tell anyone about how I feel as I don't want to be judged, but most importantly I don't want my family to feel like they let me do this thing to myself, like they have failed me. I know my mother feels so much guilt, as she keeps saying we could have tried harder for you to lose weight without depleating yourself. I am so afraid of becoming low energy, depleated of nutrients. I don't want my gallblader removed, I don't want kidney stones, I don't want the fatigue. I beg of you, please help me, tell me what to do! Has anyone has been in my shoes how have you got to the other side? Please don't judge me. Is the reversal possible? Would I be just like before? How iften does the complications occur? How long will I feel this way? I know I sound like the most stupid person in the universe.