Frustr8

And forward March resolutely towards surgery, because your day of Glory is coming and I am very excited for you. Less than a week, these last few do move fast, but you're ready , steady, forward now!

Ah Avery's Mom I sure do hope they are superior or at least at an adequate level. I had so many weekly blood draws the time my PICC line was in , I think they would have,nearly reached Columbus, and I still don't know what this mysterious iron,level is, I think it's a secret. Am I a whole iron skillet low or more like a I quart warm-up? IDK truly don't know after all, it's only MY BODY but nobody tells me nothing. That's one thing I hate about testing, it's always We'll Tell Your Doctor, why not tell me it's MY BODY I'm trying to live in!

And wishing only the best to all of you upcoming, we always have room,on the Losers Bench of Victory for a few more.

My good friend Violet has Jacob , she has worked with him to the point he may be mainstreamed soon. Went to visit one day, Jacob and I discussed one of his specials interests, we tend to have ones that fascinate us, one of mine is Medicine to the,point some might call me a "geek". At any rate, after I left , Jacob asked if I could come visit again. Violet said that was rather unusual , he seldom asked that, he paid me what I consider a great compliment he said " She likes ME for ME" he could sense my acceptance innately. Well why not, we were in a way -cousins after all.

And talk more, move the food around on the plate, try to tell the others I am enjoying your company, the statement she is doing this to get better is very good, almost everyone I know is on some sort of diet anyway so we don't stick out as bad as one might think. Yes box it up if necessary, I got a card from my facility that states as a post- bariatric patient I am permitted to choose from childs or senior menu. Well I am a " senior" or at least the calender says so, I think of me more as "late Middle Age," my RnY gave me a longer lifespan. And I intend to" rock it" as long as I have breath in this body.

Froufrou , give my love to your little one from a Spectrum aunt, even though I am on the high- end of things I still rejoice with you in each milestone, a Neurotypical world is not always kind to us. Love her for the unique being she is , she has not one of my battles, you know he4 diagnosis, I spent years being,told I was weird, flawed, even had cousins who told me to commit suicide because I would be of no use to anyone now or in the future. And in the 40s and 50s and even into the 60s it was denied Autistics could be female. Help her to reach all her potentials, our motherboard is wired a little differently but we are rich wonderful beings to know. When I got my official diagnosis it actually was freeing, but I was well into late adulthood before it happened. Something odd, when I got my " official" I reached out to my friend Robin, an RN, imagine my surprise when she told me " I've known for a long time, I just thought you didn't want to talk of it!" I'm very happy you do love and accept her, many times my Neurotypical mum could not. One observation I heard her make " its like a hen raising a clutch of duck eggs, your baby starts to swim and all you can do is run up and down the riverbank squawking" that at least had some humour to it. The one that cut me to the quick and still does even these years later " Millions of babies in this world and God had to give me YOU?" When the base person in your life doesn't lovingly accept you it leaves a scar that never heals right. But I am strong, as brave as possible and still believe in ME no matter what others may say. And as she grows up, I pray the same for her, that she finds a place that fits her perfect in life. Much Love❤Frustr8

Amazon is like a large spider, I buy what I can off of Bariatric Pal store, Alex has good stuff, our best interests at ❤, after all he's been there, done that himself, and I believe only stocks the best. And the shipping time is very good, very quick between NY and Ohio. And if I could get to Sam's Club I would buy there or Costco before enriching the Amazon Spider!

You're right, if the past held anything for me, I would have stayed there, so forward, even if small steps they are in the right direction. Thanks Tealael for reminding me of what I forgot for a moment.?

So glad for your Dr Hipp, so glad he saved you the first time, so trusting April 25th will bring only good results, you have had Hades. on Earth so I will forcast a Heavenly Recovery for you then. Keep us updated as time goes by, okay? ❤?❤

Oh My, Proud Grammy, I can't scarcely believe it. Yes Life does go on but I think you must be reeling about now, hold tight, remember the love that you had for them and they had for you. My Kevin died the day of our Aunt Ruth's funeral, she was like a " second mother" to my husband. It gave me a little peace to believe Kevin didn't have to be as scared of Heaven with Aunt Ruth there, They had a very close relationship while they both were earthbound, perhaps it will be,like that for Andrew and your. mom, at least it gives me peace to believe it. And remember , you are assured of our love and prayerful support Kathy! Hugs on this difficult day!

And for gosh sakes wear gloves when you remove them, you don't need your eyes or other things irritated.

My Granny Ada Blanche, may she rest in peace, had a saying " The Good Lord didn't ever make an itch, he didn't make a scratcher to fit it!" Translation- there is always an answer if you search for it. Check Medical Supply stores, are you a Veteran? Check with your county VA office, in my community both the Moose and Ambers have wheelchairs and such things, my uncle was a Moose and was able to get the loan of a lift chair, he was smaller but still had need of one. Maybe even your county Human Services could link you up with one. There are a lot of answers , I got my C Pao machine through Lincare, I recommend them highly for adaptive equipment. If one place turns you down ask them if they could suggest someone else. This is YOU you're fighting for, you deserve the best you can find! Good luck my Bari- Brother, I know an answer is out there!

Oops I hit the send instead of backspace, but I want to send my very best wishes. Today is my 6 month Surgiversity, hasn't been the journey I booked for, haven't had exactly the results I was seeking, but you know what? Its still good, I'm still betterthan I was. when I started. Fought over 3 years to get my RnY, 3 years 3 weeks to be exact, against what often seemed insurmountable odds. You see I was 72 years 8 months 10 days when I finally received it, many facilities won't accept you past 60, let alone 70+. you're expected to die fat, sick and obese. So I had even more specialists than average to clear me, psychiatrist as well as psychologist, 2 different cardiologists, pulmonologist, sleep study, dieticians/nutritionsists, jumped through every hoop, can't jump high but was successful. Found out some things about me along the way, got confirmation of something I had suspected for years, after hearing God made an error, I was worth living because I didn't fit life 's pigeon- holes , I am Aspergers, a high functioning Autistic, a slightly different motherboard than many but I'm very cool to know. I have wondered literally since adolescence, another of our traits, many of us " rock" on research. But for years the official line was Autistics are male only, thank you Temple Grandin for proving them wrong. We were the silent minority that feel through the cracks, unoticed and underserved Sorry sometimes I got off on a tangent about this, but finding out I wasn't defective, crazy or worthless helped me to finish my journey toward surgery. I am widowed so don't have themarital dynamic but my son , who I call Tomkitten because my original e- mail had kkatlady in it serves as my #1 support and our bouncing off each other is similar. Yes you will still live your husband, and if he is the right guy, he loved you heavy he' 'll still love you thinner . He fell in love with the inner Sneezed not just the covering. Oh there will be moments when you turn into a Ragin Cajun, as the fat melts a lot of chemicals and hormones get released. I'm long past menopause but I had a weepy day once because I didn't have a picture taken right before surgery. Sounds silly looking back, but I was heartbroken at the time, another day I got weepy because I am starting to resemble a dead relative, I couldn't hardly reconize ME in this face. Everybody says your chest is the first place you lose, not me, it was my forearms and wrists, they started looking like a little old lady owned them. But my main advice as you face your surgery, dont look back, that's not the way you are heading. This is an investment you are making in you, your future and your marriage. And he will be so proud of you for your strength in seeing this through. You can text me, PM. me but I am going to be one of your biggest fans, usually the ones questioning before have the best end results. No tears, no fears, You Are Going To Do This and Do it Well. Now Big Smile? and On You Go! ❤Frustr8❤

Good luck Snnezer

Well it is now 6 months. and 4 hours since my RnY surgery- so I finally qualify. Funny I wanted to be with you all so badly,i even visited early, but after promising one of you I wouldn't bother you any longer the lustre is quite off.And it is a shame, I once felt I had so much to offer for my trek has been atypical and I thought I might give hope to others. So I may visit infrequently but it won't be the source of sustainance I once thought it once would be. Sad isn't it? What I wanted so badly, a source of support, once again denied. If anyone is remotely interested I am at 242, down from a surgery weight of 319, finally starting to go into smaller sizes although still not out of plus/woman and into " normal" sizing. Unsatisfied with the pace and scope of my diet although my bariatric consultants say I am doing fine, I am not so certain. Life is tedious, struggle to get get enough calories in since they capricously pulled my PICC line for an infection blood cultures showed was not present. Now I am struggling, 2 oz protein or soft veg every 3 hours, 2 oz cuplet of fluids every 15 minutes in between , enough vitamins, minerals and meds I make a rattling sound when I walk, and currently involved in a p******g war about whether I need iron infusions and which facility is going to do it. I feel like a ping pong ball, one group says I'm seriously getting low, other says I'm delusional if I think I need it. My recovery is not mine, it's Theirs, I'd run away but I get too out of breath with low "heme" factors. Happy 6 months to ME, waiting on a phone call from one or other telling me if something is scheduled.

My hospital/bariatric CENTER. does have support meetings, alas they ALL are set up in the evening when it us impossible to get to Columbus, dont have anything reliable after 7 pm and as far as I know there are no one else in Know County I could ride with. I am cetainly the only RnY but I am not sure there are any VSG here to want share the experience. I must be a pioneer, usually I am # 2 sled dog in everything. You know the worst thing about being #2 sled dog ? The view never changes!

Ok the term I want to use is "Non- Resilience". Oh I had heard about Restriction, it's in the fine shiny Bariatric Folder and other literature. Now today is my 6 month Surgiversity, Whoop Whoop for for me, except I have very little to Whoop about. Those of you who know my story , and most must cause I tend to bounce all over BP like a demented BouncyBall, I have not had a pretty as a picture recovery. My tiny tummy scars are the best of it, sad right? I have had a stomal stricture, jujeneal ulcerations, so many EGJ the Endoscopy/ Hepatology Suite people at Ohio State greet me by name instead of Medical Case #, and they still aren't over, forecast is 2 more at lelast. So here I be, had a PICC line from November 29 to February 26, when my CNP and OSU capriciously ordered it removed. Their excuse, maybe it was an focus for systemic infection, and had caused my pneumonia and fluid on my right shoulder joint. Well Ha Ha to them, there was NOTHING there on all the cultures. Now what? I have a hole in my upper left arm, change the bandaid everyday , still hasn't scabbed over, until then I can't shower unless I wrap my arm in Saran wrap. Right shoulder still sore after fluid removal, may not get better until my plate and screws which I have had for 9 years for a humeral repair are removed. Admitted it would be only be outpatient/ambulatory but " maybe we ought to wait until GI system settles down" Bull feathers, I can't lift anything over 5-10 pounds already. But back to my" Rny which makes me cry" When they removed the PICC line it was Good Luck Eating! Now I have been on a liquid/ thin puree diet for what seems like forevermore. Protein shakes since my Liver shrink back last August, because of the stomal stricture, pureed must be very thin, because Precious Pouch doesn't drain well, I feel she is no longer stomach tissue, more like a Ziploc bag with a tiny pinhole. I was willing to let TPN supply the bulk of my calories and try to add what P,O. foods my pouch would allow. Nope, pull the line, throw me into the Ohio River at flood stage and shout " hope you make it to shore!" At least that's how I feel. Now correct me if I am incorrect , but it seems my VSG cousins with their neat new bananarama pouch, the pouch relaxes and they go from 1/8. to 1/4 to 1/3 to 1/2 cup foods, meanwhile I am at 2 oz if protein or veggies that have had the snarf cooked out of them, in between my perpetual 2 oz cuplet of fluids, calories free drinks. etc. By my year anniversary I will either be insane and dropping or in line with Mousecat singing out " put her back the way she was" oh I have loved the weight loss, the diminishment of my bulky body, but there is a verse in the Gospel of St Matthew, if I remember correctly " What does it gain a man to gain the whole world if he loses his immortal soul?" Have I sold my health for this operation, was the trade- off good for ME? A happy thought, if my orthopaedic surgeon's scale is correct, I now weigh less than Tomkitten my son, this even endengeres fear, last time I dropped a equal amount I ended up in OSU with malnutrition and protein- anemia, and then I I got the PICC line so I could get in more protein than I could PO. I really don't resent to surgery itself as much as the fact I didn't heal right, very disgruntled with my 73 year old body who has been faithless. Will I ever get to the point where I can eat small normal portions of anything?

And every woman deserves a man who can make her forget her heart was ever broken.

Stop hating what you think are your bad points, instead celebrate your good points, you really have a lot going good for you if you just stop and think. Never look back, that's not the direction you are headed! ?

Don't allow others to make you angry, it gives them a power over you they don't deserve. Just take a. " Whatever" pill and let them swing from their own Moore. Take care of You First!

Sometimes I feel like I am on the l9ngest liquid diet in the Western World, think I have tried almost every kind out there. My current favorite is Ensure High Protein in Strawberry, tastes just like Nestle Strawberry Quik. I can't have chocolate, been allergic for 43 years, but it might be equally good and vanilla, I have grown to loathe vanilla, such a think white tasteless nothing much flavor to me. Hope this might help, runs about $ 8 a 6 pack at Wal-Mart.

Never trust someone who has let you down more than once . Once was a warning, twice was a lesson and anymore than than that is just taking advantage.

And I hope jaminj that a new endoscopy or other exam gives you the answers you need. I have had a stomal stricture and multiple jejuneal ulcerations, not fun, hard to heal, been on Carafate since October, every 6 hours round the clock- 6AM Noon 6PM Midnight and Zofran 8am- 4pm- 10pm every since my RnY surgery September 5th, a PICC line November 29 2018- February 26 2019 so I have fought the nausea battle and I'm still going on strong through it all. I still believe,i will have the Victory I deserve. This is not the oath I would have chosen but I will make the best of it, I guess I am the Endurance Model of Girl.?I think of me as a jalopy, not the sleekest model out there, but I am sturdy dependable and when the Ferarris and Lambos have blown their engines and had to be scrapped i'll be still putt-putting along down my road!

Step by step Heidihoo, I believe you can get both your mind and body tuned up into better shape, you're not a lost cause either way. You didn't fail as much as do something disappointing to yourself. Forgive yourself and try,to keep moving on.

Well good for you, gabybab! May everything continue to go smoothly for you.?