newhope4me

above the GM's head is a Board of Directors, which the actual chain of command is to go to direct supervisor (mine is GM), if that is who your complaint is about, go to grievance committee, who then discusses issues brought to him with the GM before the next Board meeting. as I've said, this GM has improved many things since coming here. the 3 yrs before he got there, we went thru 2 GMs and one interim GM (consultant). He has improved all the places where he has worked. (I'm friends w/ his wife) yes, i agree its not appropriate for the two of them to go to the casino together. I've tossed it around in my head wondering if they are up to something together. "Jen" is a newlywed (even though they are having problems already); and the GM has a great relationship w/ his wife. I think its only that they both enjoy the casino and "Jen's" husband doesn't allow her to go. i do agree she doesn't play nice. more than a couple of times she has tried to put me on the spot in front of the GM. but I'm comfortable in my position and i don't back down. what shocks me is she will ask me about something that has nothing to do w/ my department, and i wonder why the GM doesn't call her on it, say something about it being her department not mine. I already have several duties, a couple of hers that she fell short on.

OK, today was just awful. it actually started yesterday. this coworker ("Jen") asked me if we were doing something for an employee who's last day was today. Well, the GM, "Jen" and i had already decided we were going to do something, in fact "Jen" volunteered to collect donations to buy a gift card for the employee who is leaving (having a baby), even though its very evident to all that she doesn't care for this employee. others have even heard her say she cant wait until that employee is gone (even though that employee does most of "Jen's" work for her) so, the day before she asks if we are doing anything. which tells me she hasn't asked anyone for money for the gift card. which is fine, i think most of us had already bought a gift for the girl leaving. so, "Jen" starts saying how she'll have to "hit everyone up". I told her, you cant do that the day of (with visions in my head of her asking for money right in front of the recipient). she tells me she's going to pick up a gift card on her way to work, then i worry she's going to try to get the company to pay for it (she's had the company pay for odd things in the past), i tell her the company cant pay for it, then we'd have to start doing that for everyone. she just keeps saying she's going to pick up a gift card. i let it go. then today, she does, she asks employees for money, right in front of the employee for whom the gift card is for. tact? hmmm, maybe they don't teach that at this prestigious training facility. so, then later she brings me a card (with the gift card inside i assume) and says its from her and the GM. is that appropriate? a gift from her and her boss? i don't know, seemed a bit inappropriate to me. then she and the GM left for an errand we postponed the little "party" for an hour, then we had to have it before business picked up, without the GM and "Jen". I thought both should have been there. "Jen" was the girl's immediate supervisor, and of course the GM has always been to every one of these things we've done. the errand they ran, i couldn't figure out why "Jen" had gone, not really in her dept. but then i remembered the mtg was at a casino and "Jen" has a bit of a gambling obsession. her husband doesn't let her go, etc (i think if i lost $1000 in a weekend my husband wouldn't let me either). and then a couple of us starting thinking, wonder if they will make it back or just go home from there? then while they were gone i had one of her staff members ask me if it was proper for a supervisor to discuss income/tips with other members of her staff (what one makes compared to another). i said no, its completely uncalled for. one of the girls had given another a table and earned a substantial tip, so "Jen" pointed out to the first girl the tip that she lost by giving the table away. we just went through this w/ the entire staff a couple of months ago that we didn't want them discussing tips w/ each other, it causes too much dissension. i don't know, i just think this whole day was so inappropriate. i have mentioned to a couple of her staff members what was suggested her, i.e. keep notes, mail them to yourself, etc. some have been keeping notes due to a harassment issue we all went through a few years ago with a different GM. i appreciate everyone who drudges through this with me. its very frustrating.

ok, this section does say "off-topic" which this is completely off topic! I just need to get this out, and maybe after seeing it down i'll think of a way to deal with this or maybe someone will have some great advice for me (telling someone to go f*** themselves does not count as advice, lol) ok...at work about 6 months ago we hired a new department head at work. she originally applied for a lower position, but when the GM saw where she was trained (considered one of the top in the field), he offered her this supervisory position. she claimed to have supervisory experience quite a few years earlier. At first, she seemed a Godsend. Probably because the one who held her position before was a complete waste of space (in a 2 yr period she had missed at least 60 days, not counting her days off, vacation or days where she put in less than 5 hours). Well, as time has passed, her staff has of course had complaints. In the beginning I'm sure it was mostly because they were suffering adjustment pains, testing the waters, etc. But as I have to work with her sometimes as well, I have noticed shortcomings. Her staff has gone to the GM. I have mentioned things a couple of times to the GM as well. And in the beginning the GM dealt w/ these complaints as they are just complaining because she's not #1 (the one that used to be in that position). Then he started saying, they need to stop working against her and help her adjust and teach her how to do these things. And now its to the point that he has told her staff he doesnt want to hear any complaints. I too have learned not to complain about her. BUT...she is scatterbrained! she has her priorities screwed up, she doesnt know how to order stock (overstocked on items that will sit forever, running out of items that fly out); she doesnt know how to schedule her staff appropriately (has affected her budget negatively for at least 2 months in a row); is more concerned with aesthetics than customer service (we need to polish silverware, not find customers a seat-that happened at our busiest day of the year!) She's been here 6 months and doesnt know how to schedule her staff? shouldn't that be one of the first things she should do? as soon as she reports for duty, she's constantly running...but its like a chicken-with-its- head-cut-off running, she's constantly misplacing things (left her keys on a customers table, didnt get them back for 3 days). she is rude to her staff, she has pushed at least 2 of them, suppossedly joking, but those who saw it didnt see it as a joke. But the GM (and no they arent sleeping together, but seems like something is there) seems oblivious to it, even when confronted by it. I know the GM has seen some of this. There are staff that are getting resumes ready to leave, 2 have left. Maybe the GM doesnt want to admit he was wrong, but doesnt letting her stay make him look like a fool? Especially since some of the staff knows she originally applied for a lesser position, but the GM offered her this one. This GM has turned this company around, is a great boss, but i just don't know why he is allowing this. its really frustrating, we want the company to continue in an upward trend, but i think this might bring us down.

1. Does racism still exist? Sadly, yes. I'm originally from KS, so I grew up with it in my house, was not even permitted to watch the Cosby show! 2. Does "reverse-racism" exist (prejudice against White people from other races)? Yes, in fact, when I moved to California, it shocked me that I seemed to run into "yes you are white, but how white?" Almost every person I met wanted to know exactly what my heritage/ethnicity is. 3. Does affirmative action still have a place in today's society? I'm not sure where I stand on this, as I know the positive and negative of it. needs more thought 4. Are stereotypes warranted? I have fought stereotypes in my life. I don't want to be stereotyped because of where I am from. Also, my boys were raised by a poor single mom, who was divorced from a deadbeat, drug addicted, wife beating a**; I raised them to fight against the stereotype of what society expected out of children, especially boys, raised that way. I think stereotypes can be debilitating (by "labeling")as well as motivating depending on how you look at it

Bathing suit? I'd be happy to be in shorts! But I want to join too! This is so much more fun than only being accountable to myself. Name...................Current.......Goal.......Lost.......Still to Lose KarenG..................174..........160.........0...........14 (by 7/4) kathystrick.............318..........288.........0...........30 Leslie2Lose.............233..........208.........0...........25 (by 7/4) LessNLess...............151..........140.........0...........11 Luu2008.................215..........185.........0...........30 (by 7/4) luvinke.................217..........190.........0...........27 Marissa's Mom...........388..........358.........0...........30 (by 7/4) Nettie..................193..........170........42...........65 Newhope4me..............177..........160.........0...........17 nurse7263...............244..........150.........0...........24 (by 7/4) Sunshine2...............179..........160.........0...........19 (by 6/29/08) TexasFire67.............170..........145.........0...........25

My first challenge, i'm so excited! Name............Current............Goal..............Lost........Still to Loose... Jennifer..........188................183................0............. .5............ KarenG............174...............169.................0............. .5............. Tracy..............271...............265.................0............ ..6.......... Suzie.............221................215.................0............ ...6............ Shampoo .......162................155.................0...............7............. Mary..............177...............172.................0...............5.............

maybe you havent experienced this kind of criticism yourself, but this is why so many of us decide to not share with anyone, except those who are very close to us, that we have the band. when i started each program, i thought "this is it, i will get into shape, i will be able to keep the weight off." so i probably shared that excitement with everyone around me, in fact i know i did. especially since there are always people around that are also looking to lose weight. i think with anyone who struggles with thier weight, its humiliating every time we have tried and either fail or gain it back. this critical thinking is what i used to always think that people were thinking/saying about me, "there she goes again, yeah, she's lost some weight, but she'll gain it back" and i did, and it got harder and harder to even try. Thats why no one except my husband knows about my band. i agree with her history, it seems the band may be the answer for her. but i have no right to assume that.

i've been lurking for a couple of days, got here a little late to start. but am looking forward to the next challenge. i noticed a couple were discouraged, don't be, sometimes we take little steps, but they all add up.

jachut, i'm not sure what you think my standards are, but basically what kat said, i second. celebrities can more than afford this procedure, more so than i could have. but i needed this change in my life to prevent future health problems and to get back to a healthier weight for myself (cant stand to look in the mirror). i like the way that queen latifah is approaching her decision, by stating she wants to reach a "healthy weight". that promotes a better view than "skinny" i'm just saying that i feel by us sitting her saying this celebrity or that celebrity should have wls, we are doing the same as the magazines that have covers with models with rib bones sticking out. yes, wls helps you to lose weight, are we in any position to say who should have it? do we know thier health history, their self esteem issues, etc? i for one approve that my daughter looks up to raven, who is not a size 3. i feel we are adding to the discrimination agaist those who are overweight.

i'm with losingjusme, a lot of the people that are named that "need lapband" look fine to me. i think queen latefa (spelling) is gorgeous and carries her weight beautifully. She recently joined jenny craig but her stand is w/ healthy weight, not getting skinny(btw, skinny isn't healthy any more than fat). And jack black, yeah, he's a little heavy, but have you seen him move, he's got energy and it doesnt seem the weight gets him down. And brittany spears! are we kidding? omg, if she needs it than damn, than i guess everyone who has ever had kids and a bad spot in thier life needs it. oprah i can agree with, because she has, as many of us, has tried and tried and tried. some of these others mentioned seem happy in thier skin, and don't you believe there should be people in the media that represent all sizes and shapes? i understand these people are in the publics eye and therefore open to scrutiny, but here we are, those who also are personally affected by society's negativity towards the obese, stigmatizing them based on personal appearances. and, pink, i don't think anyone is attacking you personally

when i was involved w/ bodybuilding i was instructed that cardio was best when you wake, before you eat anything. that way you are burning fat, not anything you've already eaten in the day. and as stated above, that gets your metabolism going for the day and makes burning calories easier throughout the day. i wish i was a morning person and/or didn't have problems going to sleep so that i could do this.

as stated, it basically depends on you. I was able to drive (stick shift at that) the day after my procedure (i live about an hour from my dr.) I returned to work 2 days later, and of course had to drive to and from then. I didnt take any strong meds, liquid tylenol was the extent of it. best of luck!

I'm so glad i had mine before september as i'll be 40 then and too old according to some. LOL Actually, I think this is for anyone who has struggled with their weight and thier dr. agrees that this is a great alternative. If I could afford it, i would love to pay for my mom, as well as my grandparents, to be banded, if they were approved. I saw my 40th birthday approaching and knew i did not want to be on all the meds and have all the issues they do. I did this as a preventitive measure, but i don't see why just because someone is older they can't do the most with the life they have left, even more so! i.e. once my mom and grandmother were not speaking to each other and i asked my mom why. she told me because my grandmother chose to get new central air put in her house instead of having glaucoma procedure. I told my mom, its her life and in her last days (years i hope) if she would rather be comfortably cool, that is her decision. It should be the same if one wants to try to have a healthier life, at a lighter weight. Its a personal choice!

when i first got home, i went all out for my family, even though i was on Clear Liquids. i guess i felt just because i couldnt enjoy it, i would enjoy it vicariously through them. Now that i'm eating solid food (anxiously awaiting my first fill next week), i am switching the entire family over to healthier food. Turkey burgers, turkey bacon, low fat cheese nips, low fat cheese, low fat pnut butter, low sugar jelly, fresh fruits, veggies, etc. The only one to complain is my son, who a strong wind would blow away, there are things that are unhealthy in the house that i told him he could finish up. He's moving out this weekend (sniff sniff, but he's 21), so i'm going to have him take all that with him. Actually, hubby is a Marine, and needed to lose a few pounds to stay regulation, and my daughter should have learned healthy eating habits low ago, so i think this is best for all of us. once a week i let them eat junk food, but even that, no one is eating as much as we used to. which the money we save on junk food and Snacks, we spend on the healthier foods. i think it depends on the person, where as i loved to cook the big meal when i first got home, someone else (as mentioned) is not going to want to be around it. it took hubby a while to learn not to offer me his leftovers or a bite of this or that, since it was habit for him. but now he's more, "can u have that?"

i'll have to check them out sometime

I have a question, after seeing the video, but not about the carbonation. Do they always have to kinda "dig" searching for the port? that was the most uncomfortable thing to watch. i've had nurses "dig" for a vein for blood as well as for IVs, cant stand that. i have my first fill next week, and this makes me a little nervous

i found this list of several in the US (25 Diet Food Delivery Services) I've never tried them, was looking into them. Don't think it would financiallly be beneficial for me, as i have a family to buy food for as well, and this would basically double my grocery bill. i would love to, as so many days i'm too busy or wore out to worry about cooking.

I do not judge others that must work; as i had to when my daughter was about 18 months old. Which is why i so strongly believe a mother should be with her children until they start school. I see the differences in my boys, whom i did get to stay home and care for until they started school. No, we weren't rich (extremely far from it) nor were we on gov't asst. We rearranged our priorities. It was not a priority to go out to eat, order in, have a second car, I sewed a lot at that time, had a garden for fresh veggies, wore no makeup, didnt visit a salon for my hair, etc. My sister in law and I had a talk a few years after i had gone to work. She said that our mother in law would compare her to me, as my sister in law worked and i stayed home with the kids. But our mother in law also would compare me to my sister in law because of the material possessions they had. We both felt inferior to the other. As i said, i believe a mother should be with her children until they start school, I believe children would get a better start in life. But I realize that is not always possible. Just as, yes, i don't believe the carrier should be a portable babysitter, but i understand there are exceptions. But I have been in dr. offices were the baby will begin to fuss, get hungry, etc, and mom just rocks the carrier with her foot or props a bottle in the babys mouth. If i see this, i'm not going to think that the baby gets any more attention at home.

Fairy, I understand what you are saying. However, I did those things, usually with a baby in my arms; it can be done. As I stated, I carried my babies while grocery shopping. I did that alone (don't get me started on thier deadbeat dad). Also, my boys were 14 months apart, so there were times when I held the baby and with the free arm, would pick up the toddler to put into the shopping cart. One of the things i've also noticed is: the baby is in a seat in the grocery cart, mom cant hold the baby, however, she has an extra hand to hold a cell phone. She can sign her name with one hand while talking on the phone. Dear West Coast, i feel so sorry for you. I adored my time as a mother of young children (and still now of course). I loved my babies, I was with them almost constantly until they began school (another thing i believe is that a mother should be with her children until they start school). Its so sad to know there are people who consider their children a burden, and here you are desiring to be what those children deserve. Snuffy, that is awful. And kinda helps prove my point that people rely on those things too much-like its considered a portable babysitter.

This is my pet peeve...I cannot stand that mothers do not hold their babies anymore. I used to adore holding my kids, there are times that i wish i could hold them again (but at 20, 21 and 12 little harder now). Every where you go you see these mothers carrying these bulky, heavy car seat/carriers instead of just carrying the baby. It used to be a hassle to get the seat/carrier in and out of the car, so much easier to unbuckle the baby, wrap them in a blanket and carry them, than to unbuckle the bulky seat/carrier, then have to lug it, since it of course weighs more than just the baby. I think i did that a couple of times before completely deciding against it. I would carry the baby while getting groceries, or visiting family/friends and the seat/carrier stayed in the car. I believe these mothers, besides missing out on some blessed time with their children (o, the smells, the little sounds they made, to have those days back, lol), are robbing thier children of that little bit of precious "mother's touch" ok, i'm finished, that's my rant!

"Spare the rod, spoil the child" This phrase goes back to speaking of parents as shepherds for thier "flock", their children. Shepherds do not strike the sheep with the rod, but guide them. I believe that "spanking" is so vague a phrase, everyone looks at it differently. Is spanking with a belt, a wooden spoon, flyswatter, open hand, over pants, over underclothes, on bare bottoms? Its something that can completely get out of hand. Parents usually spank out of anger, but anger is a secondary emotion. For example, your child runs out to the street, you grab them and spank them. Why? Because of the fear that they could have gotten run over, which scared you so much you react in anger and spank. If you remove them from the street, point out the size of a vehicle compared to the size of a child, and explain that it scared you because they could have been severly hurt, and then you've shown them out of love, not out of pain of why they should not run into the street. We don't want our children to hit or be violent, but yet the most used discipline is through giving them pain by spanking them. I have 3 kids, 2 boys (now grown) and a daughter (12). They grew up with a "time out chair" in the corner. When they were in trouble, they were in the chair for as many minutes as they were old. As they grew older, they lost prized possessions or were restricted from things they enjoyed. I remember as a girl i was "spanked" with a belt from a car, left awful bruises on my legs. My stepfather wanted me to go to the pool like that so that everyone would see what an awful child i was. Is it any wonder i have issues now? "Spankings" is too vague a term. It should be better defined. I know in some areas it is illegal to use anything other than an open palm on the rear end, that i agree in, even though that is not what i personally used for discipline.

i had one Saturday. We were getting ready to go to the fair, and the only pair of jeans i have i've patched a couple of times already (between thigh area) and noticed that i could possibly rip them out if i moved just right (wrong?). i was tense and didnt want to wear pants to the fair, i want to wear jeans like everyone else. hubby tells me he's not going to go with me all stressed out, tells me to go buy some jeans. but i tell him i'm not buying jeans that, hopefully, are going to be too big soon and i dont even know what size i wear (i've been refusing to buy any clothes for a while. he asked me if i didnt want to know truly what size i wear, and i said yes. i hate buying clothes because the sizes are so huge, i hate clothes shopping, i hate trying stuff on, etc. but he convinces me to buy some, i ask him to go with me, in case i break down in the store. so, after walking around and looking at the selections they had, almost getting discouraged, i grab 3 pair, to try on. (let me just say right here, that just because one is fat, doesnt mean they are tall, damn i hate that) anyway, i decided on a pair of jeans, and a pair of capris (dont really like capris on me because i'm too short, make me look shorter and heavier, but they are comfy around the house) anyway, the jeans i got, they were loose in the waist, at the end of the day, i could take them off without unzipping. funny thing is they are the same size as the ones i had. but they fit better. my butt and thighs(especially thighs are so huge) always have to get a size to fit them, not my waist. i just thought it was amazing that i can get them off and on without unzipping them. seems small right now, but it sure made me happy!

I'm Mary, married to my Marine (Rob) for 5 years (in August). I have 3 kids (two grown boys and her highness, from a previous relationship). I am kinda a jack of all trades at a country club. webmaster, banquet coordinator, admin. asst., membership director, family/youth activities coordinator, etc. even with all i do, i love my job! Banded March 7, and loving it!

Susan, I do the same thing (" I eat, wait between bites and when I am no longer hungry, I stop eating.") But when I heard about fitday.com, i started keeping track, that is when i realized how few calories i was getting. I don't feel like i'm starving myself, in fact, i started a thread that i was concerned that it was too few. yes i mentioned that the weight loss had seemed to stop (was just my period that messed with the weight loss, i shoulda realized that), but i was mostly concerned with how few calories i was getting, because i am aware of the fact that starving = slower metabolism. i have not had a fill yet, but i do get fuller extremely sooner than i ever did before. i get a lot of Protein, fewer carbs during the day, try not to get any sugar and am starting to add more exercise. i'm actually hoping that my body will want more calories with the additional physical activity.

i wouldnt suggest an atkins approach, as your brain cells need the carbs. a well balanced diet, w/ good carbs, good fats, is healthy. having a higher percentage of Protein is good, for the reasons already mentioned. if you are doing any weight training, its good to have some carbs about 30 min. to an hour before, for the energy. then follow up afterwards w/ heavy protein meal. i have a close friend who is very into nutrition and body building. he has given me great advice.