Quest4TheNewMe

Vanity sizing...
The last time I weighed what I do right now, I was 15 yrs old. At that point I was wearing a size 14. 17 years and two kids later, at the same weight, I'm wearing a size 10. I'm don't think I'm smaller, I think the clothes sizes have grown over the years. BUT, I'm not complaining!

I was at the airport last week flying to Vegas with my wife for our anniversary. The TSA agent looked at my license, then at me, then double checked my license, then back to me again and said, "Wow! You look great! Awesome work!" It was really nice to hear from someone completely removed from the whole process. The fact the she was a rather attractive member of the opposite sex didn't hurt either!

Vanity sizing...
The last time I weighed what I do right now, I was 15 yrs old. At that point I was wearing a size 14. 17 years and two kids later, at the same weight, I'm wearing a size 10. I'm don't think I'm smaller, I think the clothes sizes have grown over the years. BUT, I'm not complaining!

Vanity sizing...
The last time I weighed what I do right now, I was 15 yrs old. At that point I was wearing a size 14. 17 years and two kids later, at the same weight, I'm wearing a size 10. I'm don't think I'm smaller, I think the clothes sizes have grown over the years. BUT, I'm not complaining!

My starting weight is 175.

I have a girl at work who keeps commenting. The latest was that I'm withering away... She's 3-4" taller than me and about 60 lbs less than me... Pretty sure I'm fine. The comments are annoying though.

I was SQUEEZING into a size 18 last July. Now I'm comfortably in a size 10.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I know that I can't please everyone and honestly I'm not interested in even trying. It just really caught me off guard when she said that I looked "sick". I'm fairly certain that when my body is ready to stop losing, it will stop. At 4 months post op I'm still very early in the game, and the change shocked even me sometimes...

I won't say that I'm at "after" yet, but I'm only one pound from my surgeon's goal. I'm 4.5 months post-op and down 96 lbs since I started this journey last July. Down 53 lbs since surgery in November.
 

Sorry, I don't know how to tag you from my phone.
It was a family friend who has kids my age and he was saying things like:
"Where'd you leave the other half of you?"
"Day-um!!!" (damn)
"You look GOOD!"
"You look amazing!!"
I also had one of the male Directors at work come into my office and ask "what's with the transformation", that he saw me and wasn't even sure that it was me. That I don't look anything like I did before. He just kept going on and on.
I weigh right now what I did when I was 15 yrs old. I have lost almost 100 lbs. I get that it's significant and that I look good, but I wish people could just comment that I'm looking good and leave it at that. I'm tired of the continual comments and need to ask me a bunch of questions. Or the people that I see frequently that feel the need to comment every time. And those who ask how much I've lost (she's just catty and competitive). I'm just over it and ready for people to move on.

I never have before, but I'd like to join in. My goal weight is 165.

Ok, copied another one from my Bariatric centers website....again, a re-print from a memebr's contribution...(slightly edited)
10 Things not to say to someone who has lost weight!!!
1. How much more do you have to go?
Um, I just lost 50 pounds, pal.
I think I'm just about there.
2. Wow, you look so pretty/handsome now.
Oh, so that explains why children broke out in expressions of terror at the sight of my former fatness, clinging to their mommy's skirt hems for dear life.
It's as though a person who loses weight magically morphs from Frankenstein to Fabulous, and it's crucial that people point this out.
Hey, whatever happened to all that "it's on the inside that counts" stuff?
3. So, what size are you?
I know that these days, people are pretty comfortable telling strangers everything from what romantic bedroom positions float their boat to how they have a thing for collecting toenail clippings. But really, is anything sacred anymore?
Not that our clothing size is on par with revealing salaries or some horrible childhood memory, but I'm sure all of our lives will go on just fine with people not knowing whether I'm a small, medium or large or whether I went from a D or C cup to B or an A.
4. I bet you have so many admirers now!
Why yes, I say, as I toss the latest love letter from Brad Pitt and David Beckham into my stash of marriage proposals and naughty notes. (Some letters are more boring: "Jen, you look so pretty now. What size are you, anyway? XOXO, David B").
This one gets me because well, it's somewhat true. And like most humans, sometimes the truth hurts (some say it hurts, I say it often pisses me off). Because in reality, yes, people do treat me differently. No, not in that admirers-lined-up-at-the-door kind of way, but in daily interactions. Both men and women tend to be more receptive to ideas and interested in general conversation, doors are held open from longer-than-normal distances and restaurant checks with a missing side order will be dismissed with a smile.
Inside, I'm the same person I always was, just tinier. And it's that latter part that seems to make people a tad friendlier.
Some people I mention this to become angered, saying that such niceness was really around all along. They maintain that it was me -- grumpy, fat, miserable "the world is against plus-size me" me -- who refused to see it.
Perhaps they are right.
5. Do you have stretch marks?
Thanks for your, um, concern.
6. Are you dying?
Seeing another's weight loss transformation can be shocking, especially if they lost a significant amount. But sometimes the questions people ask are very rude.
"Are you dying?"
"Are you sick?"
"Do you have an eating disorder?"
I mean, who asks such questions? Thinking them is one thing, but outright asking is another.
Sigh.
7. I liked you fatter.
Great, and I liked you quieter.
I'm happier being able to tie my shoes without four rolls of belly bulge beating me to the punch, thank you very much.
And what's that supposed to mean anyway? Are people losing out on "I think she'll eat another slice in an hour" bets with friends? Am I suddenly void of all things jovial (because, as we all know, rotund folks are always super-duper jolly)?
8. Oh, c'mon. You can have another dish of ice cream.
I can. But I won't. That's what landed me in this whole situation in the first place.
This is by far the most terrorizing thing for those who lost weight. When you've just shed any amount of weight, a dinner out with friends is on par with driving in New Jersey traffic during rush hour: scary. (I can say that; I lived there for over 20 years and survived Garden State Parkway commutes. Bonus: While downing jelly donuts.)
Let us be!
9. What was it like?
Sometimes this question is asked meekly, as if people sense that I might break out in cheesecake-withdrawal spasms or screams. Or both.
Oh, weight loss is a feat to be proud of whether two or 402 pounds were dropped. Still, I'm not 1) a saver and protector of the world's bad eaters or 2) a sad soul who lost my way along with my weight.
Yes, I've seen people make mean puffer fish "fat" faces in reference to my heft. Yes, I've become infuriated at the limited clothing styles that many plus-sizes carry. I've cried while consuming an entire box of crackers, I've laughed while eating a tub of family sized popcorn at the theater. I've rolled my eyes at suggestions to lower my weight. Blah. Blah.
And now, I'm not in that world. I'm happy to not be there anymore, so sometimes, questions that force me to go back to a place and time I'd rather forget doesn't give me a case of warm and fuzzies.
I'm a green smoothie-making, kale-eating woman now. I eat hemp seeds, enjoy muesli and drink almond milk. Enough of the candy bar memories.
Next question?
10. You're so pulled together now.
Akin to the "you're pretty now" comment, this one makes me feel like I must have looked as if I was roaming the Earth in a state of bleary eyed nothingness. But now, I've lost weight. So you see, I'm all toss-my-hat-in-the-air Mary Tyler Moore with my confident self.
Funny how people view me because I've changed physically. I was always a hard worker, talking in perfectly-timed "close the loop," "make it happen," and "I'm on it" corporate speak. Hmmm. Perhaps saying it with a thinner body makes people think I mean it more.
So there you have it.
I'm thrilled to have kept 70 pounds off for several years, and I truly enjoy my healthier lifestyle.
I'm not dying.
I'm not a miracle story.
And no, I'm still not revealing my new bra size.

Ah got it. I've given up on hiding those!

I won't say that I'm at "after" yet, but I'm only one pound from my surgeon's goal. I'm 4.5 months post-op and down 96 lbs since I started this journey last July. Down 53 lbs since surgery in November.
 

"Thanks for your concern, but it's personal and I'd rather not discuss it." Big smile. Change subject.

I ordered a few bikini separates for my vacation in May. BUT, I'll be wearing a rash guard shirt over the top. I just knew that I could get the best "lift" out of a bra size bikini top.

They also have bra sized tankini tops! They have loose fronts and cover all that a one piece does but more loosely!

Sorry, I don't know how to tag you from my phone.
It was a family friend who has kids my age and he was saying things like:
"Where'd you leave the other half of you?"
"Day-um!!!" (damn)
"You look GOOD!"
"You look amazing!!"
I also had one of the male Directors at work come into my office and ask "what's with the transformation", that he saw me and wasn't even sure that it was me. That I don't look anything like I did before. He just kept going on and on.
I weigh right now what I did when I was 15 yrs old. I have lost almost 100 lbs. I get that it's significant and that I look good, but I wish people could just comment that I'm looking good and leave it at that. I'm tired of the continual comments and need to ask me a bunch of questions. Or the people that I see frequently that feel the need to comment every time. And those who ask how much I've lost (she's just catty and competitive). I'm just over it and ready for people to move on.

This has becomes response too. I can't believe how any people actually ask... Like coworkers!

This. I'm sure it's always been this way, but I've noticed it as I've gotten older. But the world is filled with men who think every woman in the world must conform to his idea of beauty. They're assholes, plain and simple. I know this because I have many friends who think this way, even though, they themselves are far from perfect. Luckily, I don't have to date any of them. But be warned ladies, they are out there. They don't have a sweet side that no one else knows about. They're not sensitive once you get to know them. When you peel back the layers on an jerk, you just find more jerk. To the OP, your time is much better spent on finding a person who will appreciate who you are now, and the journey you took to get here. So it might be time to fire up that long dormant sense of self confidence and tell him if he has a problem with it, he can hit the bricks. Sorry for posting in the ladies room, I'll see myself out

I can only speak as a preop patient, however; you are dealing with years of eating the same way over and over and in a couple weeks are trying to change habits that are hard in place. Don't beat yourself up about it, look at it as a minor setback or a speed bump in the road and something to improve upon. I don't for one second believe anyone is perfect in this journey that we are on. We are bound to make mistakes, but it is how we deal with them and learn from them that shows the true character of ourselves. You are bigger than this mistake, so pick up yourself and move forward all eyes ahead on the goal. Just my thoughts.....

Sorry, I don't know how to tag you from my phone.
It was a family friend who has kids my age and he was saying things like:
"Where'd you leave the other half of you?"
"Day-um!!!" (damn)
"You look GOOD!"
"You look amazing!!"
I also had one of the male Directors at work come into my office and ask "what's with the transformation", that he saw me and wasn't even sure that it was me. That I don't look anything like I did before. He just kept going on and on.
I weigh right now what I did when I was 15 yrs old. I have lost almost 100 lbs. I get that it's significant and that I look good, but I wish people could just comment that I'm looking good and leave it at that. I'm tired of the continual comments and need to ask me a bunch of questions. Or the people that I see frequently that feel the need to comment every time. And those who ask how much I've lost (she's just catty and competitive). I'm just over it and ready for people to move on.

This has becomes response too. I can't believe how any people actually ask... Like coworkers!

Sorry, I don't know how to tag you from my phone.
It was a family friend who has kids my age and he was saying things like:
"Where'd you leave the other half of you?"
"Day-um!!!" (damn)
"You look GOOD!"
"You look amazing!!"
I also had one of the male Directors at work come into my office and ask "what's with the transformation", that he saw me and wasn't even sure that it was me. That I don't look anything like I did before. He just kept going on and on.
I weigh right now what I did when I was 15 yrs old. I have lost almost 100 lbs. I get that it's significant and that I look good, but I wish people could just comment that I'm looking good and leave it at that. I'm tired of the continual comments and need to ask me a bunch of questions. Or the people that I see frequently that feel the need to comment every time. And those who ask how much I've lost (she's just catty and competitive). I'm just over it and ready for people to move on.

I won't say that I'm at "after" yet, but I'm only one pound from my surgeon's goal. I'm 4.5 months post-op and down 96 lbs since I started this journey last July. Down 53 lbs since surgery in November.