valkyrea

I am the 23rd also. Check in at 7, 9:00 surgery!!

Don't be nervous. Mine is tomorrow too. What time is yours? Mine is at 10. I am not nervous (more anxious, really). I was numb, up until an hour ago when my aunt texted me that she was proud and happy I made this decision. You did the hardest part: you started this journey. Hugz.

Good luck tomorrow, Everyone! and yes, I'm taking a break from nesting at the moment. Glad I'm not alone in wanting everything to be as perfect as possible.

Good luck to all the 23rd sleevers tomorrow!! I'm very nervous and excited at the same time!!!

Have to be there at 730. 930 surgery time. Thank you all. So many emotions..... Good luck to you too tomorrow. Message me if you're up to it tomorrow

Wow! I am a clothes horse! So I'm changing my closets over from summer to fall/winter (buffalo ny) and I took all my capris and folded them up... My surgery fingers crossed will be February 2014... My seamstress can resize pants 2 sizes. So I'm saving all my capris... I hope I won't be able to have them resized because I'll be 3 sizes down. A girl can dream!
This is the first time ever that I have thought next winter I'm going to have a new closet full of clothes!!! I do feel sad in a way that I won't have my old clothes. I've have a friend in them. They hide me. Does that make sense? Anyone else go through this?

Yeah, the soda is hard...well actually the diet soda bc I don't drink regular soda. I have been trying really hard to transition to Water more. I bought some of the liquid flavors to add to my water and that is helping.

Ew gross, butter on a spoon? When I was thinking about whether or not to get the surgery I ate like you did. I don't know why though. Once I had it in my head that I was going to do this I went ahead and started changing my diet. I thought I needed to get used to this as this is me from now on plus later down the road I can have those things in small amounts if I really wanted to? I am still preop

I didn't have "funerals" because I know that in the future I'll be able to taste those foods again. I did have some of my favorite things 2 weeks before starting the pre-op diet. The first day of the pre-op diet I was wishing I DID have funerals so that I could think back on all that I was missing out. I'm on day 4 and I am craving eggs, grilled chicken and veggies but feel a lot calmer than the past days (and woke up with a lot of energy). Yesterday I was craving butter. Butter on a spoon.... that's kind of sad, isn't it? Lol

I didn't have "funerals" because I know that in the future I'll be able to taste those foods again. I did have some of my favorite things 2 weeks before starting the pre-op diet. The first day of the pre-op diet I was wishing I DID have funerals so that I could think back on all that I was missing out. I'm on day 4 and I am craving eggs, grilled chicken and veggies but feel a lot calmer than the past days (and woke up with a lot of energy). Yesterday I was craving butter. Butter on a spoon.... that's kind of sad, isn't it? Lol

Surgery is going as scheduled. Whew. Sept 23rd is just around the corner.

Not at all! I was just thinking about this. I have surgery scheduled for the end of November and I'm avoiding my friends and family. It seems crazy, but I kind of want to hide out in my house and emerge a whole new person.
I was thinking that when you're fat and you don't have any reason to think you're going to get thinner, since all your diets failed, you just go with it and try not to worry about how others see you because there's nothing you can do about it. Now that I know that things ARE going to change (and soon!) I feel like I don't want people to see me fat! Because I'm not going to be fat forever, and I don't have to accept it! Crazy.

I ain't gonna lie. I wanted a Baconator so bad, but I didn't give in. I wish I had. I know that sounds terrinle, but after more tham a week with no real food, the memory of that Baconator would be awesome lol.

I had good day today.....ate 43 grams of Protein

Today was my psych evaluation and I passed! I'm SO happy! Final insurance required weigh-in will be this Saturday, contacting my surgeon on Tuesday and making that appointment to see him one last time before they submit my case to my insurance company. I'm thinking 2-3 weeks from now my insurance wil be notified. I'm so excited and so nervous. I didn't think I would finally get this close!!!

I have been at goal for months and still forget sometimes that I am not fat anymore.
I watched a Lipozene commercial and thought about getting some and then had to remind myself that I didn't need it.
I am trying to think of myself as having returned to the skinny kid I was in my teens before food caught up with me.

23rd for me too! I'm getting extremely nervous but after 12 days on this liquid only preop diet, I'm just ready for Monday to hurry and get here!! My surgery is at 8am.
Good luck to all my fellow 23rd sleevers! May God watch over all of us.

I went to Walmart and bought a journal And I write in it everyday. Quotes, thoughts anything to help me! It helps a lot I write each day why I am doing this and my weight each day! One of my favorite quotes I found is
DO NOT GIVE UP, THE BEGINNING IS ALWAYS THE HARDEST!!!!!!
You can do this!!! I am here if you need me!!!

Ok...so I challenged my Dietician with the varying Pre-Op diets. She tells me that she just recently attended a class on the latest studies for the diet. Apparently those who do the 14 day all liquid diet have better surgery results. I didn't like that answer. I spoke to the medical assistant at my surgeons office. She said if I get super desperate to chew on something....chew on a small slice of turkey or chicken.
What I am finding out about myself is.....the addiction to food has controlled me for years. This is no joke. I decided today...that I can do this and I WILL! I will get through 11 days with success. I made a choice after 5 years of deliberating doing the surgery. I am in control of me.
I'm finding that I am very aware of my body and how I am feeling. I am expressing exactly how I feel and not stuffing an emotion with a bag of chips. Anyway....thanks for reading. I wish everyone their health goal dreams come true! :-)

This is truly me. Not the professional, mother, friend afraid of judgement or wife making light of her past - but really me. Feels good to just be that - me.
I had an emotional childhood. The oldest of 5 kids and daughter to high functioning alcoholic and untreated bipolar disorder/clinical depression parents. Riddled with disabling eczema and asthma, I got to know hospitals very well. I would scratch, bleed into my bed covers and by morning they had become the scabs we could not rip off. The belt beatings from my mother in a blind rage were the worst. I can still hear myself screaming. I chose happiness any way I could. I started hoarding candy from birthday parties.
I was a heavy teenager but excelled in high school. I was the smart overweight friend who would tutor the football team in basic math. I wasn't date able so the guys treated me with respect but not the same goofy behavior as when the liked a girl. I was relieved to stand behind them instead of being in their sights as a possible conquest.
Then one day my junior year in high school, one of the most sought after and cutest boys "Victor" looked over the railing of our 2 story honors classes building and called my name. Me? Probably dropped something he wanted me to bring up? Then he ran down the stairs half way to meet me to talk about last nights reading assignment. All the saliva left my mouth from the stair climb but I managed the brief conversation.
Next day he waited and we walked up together. We realized we lived on the same long curvy street but on opposite ends. That summer we did not see each other at all. We both had jobs. Determined, I started exercising. With all my job and academic involvement I walked to the school quite a bit and decided to run.
Senior year was great until his mom said he could not go to prom if it was with me. So he went with another girl "for the pictures." Talk about a kick in the self esteem. But, I chose happiness any way I could.
Depressed and choosing happiness/gaining weight, I graduated and as I threw my cap in the air I walked away. I knew I was going to college somehow and getting out of this small town where you grow up, marry some guy you never would have dated in school. Have kids and repeat cycle. Got a new job through a friend who said she would set fire to my bed if I did not get out of it! I discovered that I could starve myself and only ate every 4th day and workout 3x week. That's about as long as I could go without starting to fall down a lot. When I did eat, it was about 2tablespoons of whatever. I lost 80 lbs. Women would ask me how I did it. If I felt like being honest, I would tell them. No one believed me. Guess who called 1 year after high school? Yup, Victor.
I was living on my own, with job and school and car but I still accepted his invitation to lunch. He had to be home before his mom got home from work so we could not have dinner. I know, cringe. I thought I was choosing happiness. We dated again, it ended when I started dating grown men. Still starving, I started eating every other day to control my weight. I dated a semi pro athlete and he would always call me fat. I has 5'1 and 115 lbs. So, more starvation.
Eventually, I met a beautiful man who loved me thin and as the pounds creeped back on.
We have been married 22 years. I had a wonderful 25 year career as an advertising director of an department. I worked hard to get to that position. Many 14 hour days and late night binge eating.
After 10 years and several miscarriages, we finally had a baby. 6 months later we discovered I had breast cancer while pregnant. With a very young child, I opted for bilateral mastectomy. After extensive chemo and 11 surgeries, I made a full recovery.
I tried every diet out there. I had the money so why not try? Then the company shut down as the economy tanked. I was now out of a job. I could never starve myself again. It was so painful. I tried more diets. Cheaper ones. Still, they only work as long as you stick to them.
1year into my new job I started feeling sick and very tired. I knew it had to be something deep. Colds or flu don't feel this way. I had a two week rule. If it hurts for two weeks, then I go in to doctor. Most everything passed before time was up. One day as I getting my son ready for school, I lost control of my bowels and soiled myself. I knew I was going to hospital. I took a shower, got my 1st grader into the car and drove him to school. Instead of walking him in as usual, I encouraged him out of the car and told him to walk in and tell the office his mom was going to hospital. I riddled off my medical history as I sat in the ER doubled over. Good thing most of that history occurred there. After some tests and pain meds they consoled me by letting me know how sooty they were to inform me that my appendices ruptured and they would have to perform surgery asap. I chose happiness. I laughed as I told them I thought it was cancer returned. And since people live through appendicitis, let's go!!! I met my surgeon after he performed appendectomy - maybe before...morphine. When I asked him how is it my body did not stop me sooner, he very gently stated that it was my nature... My nature to endure pain. So much for choosing happiness.
He suggested some form of WLS but I snuffed it off telling him that I was way to strong, smart and happy to do it. I just had to get my butt in gear. But, 1.5 years later after having lost and regained 45 pounds plus some, I came back and asked for help. I had been so tired lately since regaining weight. I just couldn't choose what I thought was happiness anymore. I needed help.
When I look back and think of all the pain I went through, I wrap my arms around myself and thank God I am still here. Now that I have had Sleeve surgery, I feel like I can step back from anxiety, emotion and that overwhelming urge to eat high calorie ice cream and truly chose happiness that in the end will result in happiness - a healthier me!