Bandista

Have fun, Jean, and know you are worth it all....I love reading your pieces. Choose yourself first and enjoy filling up that closet and feeling good about yourself. You deserve it!

When I elected to have weight loss surgery I knew it was a big deal for me but I had no idea how it would impact my life as a whole. Choosing myself first and my healthy future has given me so much self-esteem. I'm thrilled with the weight loss but this unexpected aspect of empowerment is truly amazing. Thanks for addressing this so eloquently!

#1 Tip-Off for me is when my mother is promoting something -- she is a canary in a coalmine in that regard. Get-Rich-Quick meets Fountain-of-Youth is too much for some people to resist.......

I'm a good cook and enjoy eating out at restaurants. My main issue is that I have kept my WLS private and it is sometimes hard to conceal how little I'm eating. I usually split an entree with my husband if he's along -- like a tenderloin or something I'm not inclined to make at home. He also gets an appetizer or two to make sure he's not going to starve, lol. If it's a business lunch, etc., and I'm wound up or tense I often can't eat much at all. Sometimes I will say something like, "I had a protein shake before I came and it really filled me up." Another tactic is I will just order an appetizer and say I'm saving room for dessert. When it comes time for dessert I will forgo that or offer to split something, in which case I just have a couple of bites and am completely satisfied (miracle). And I don't ever go to chain places, etc. -- I want to have really good fresh food prepared well otherwise it's not worth it to me.

Boy am I glad I work from home and only have to dress up once in a while. Eeek! But as for clothes, I do think the jeans sizes going down are the key to happiness and momentum (rather than that damn scale).

So happy for you to have found your worthiness and sense of self -- what a great story of breaking out of a mold you did not fit into. Your self-honesty and strength are very inspiring. Thanks for sharing!

I'm sorry but there is a lot of new data coming out on the subject of whether breakfast is necessary. We are not all the same. I never eat breakfast anymore because I'm not hungry until a little later in the day. For many people, breakfast triggers more eating and thus a higher calorie count for the day.

Thanks for this. When our child was growing up we were very careful about sugar. I was always amazed at how people would try to give him just one cookie, etc., as though we were depriving him. Today he is an adult with a good sense of his own nutritional needs. He loves protein and is not addicted to caffeine, etc. Our treat beverage was seltzer water. People give kids sugar to try to make them like them. What children want is a little bit of time and attention, to know that some one is listening. Here's to healthy kids who know how to read labels so they understand how to make good choices -- if you can't pronounce it, don't eat it! Thanks for a great piece.

Great piece -- thanks so much and congratulations on turning your life around. I'm looking forward to making my list for 2015. Prior to surgery I wrote myself a letter to be opened at goal. I look forward to reading that.

It's a party every day in our society so the holiday time is really no different. I am not on a diet now so there's no going off whatever diet and overdoing because I know I'll have to go back into a super restrictive mode -- that mentality did not serve me well.

I think it's all about the chewing and swallowing -- that connection between the esophagus and brain, which then provides a signal for satiety. I did not have that before my band. For me it has nothing to do with eating to some kind of capacity. The band won't let me overdo it but that isn't the point -- I don't get to that place as I don't want it. I feel hunger and welcome it now, but when I've had enough I've had enough. Like others, I find I get bored with the food, playing with it or just not interested anymore. That tells me that I'm done. If I'm still hungry, however, I don't deprive myself. To me this is key -- not to be too restrictive with myself so that I have a bounce-back to that all or nothing kind of thinking, or good/bad. I do still love food -- I enjoy choosing it, preparing it, serving it and, mostly, eating it. But I'm much less interested in the latter than I am in the whole experience of dining. I like the bites of yummy food but it's such a pleasure to be available for all the other experiences around me rather than being hyper-focused on what's next, what can I have, is there more, etc.

GREAT piece, Alex, and needed -- so many questions out there about Protein. Personally, my body just tells me. It whispers, "salmon" or I suddenly feel like I've got to have a fried egg. So I listen up and enjoy my protein in food form.

I expect that kind of comment from Rosie O'Donnell but I don't expect to feel berated here for choosing one surgery over another. This is where I come to feel better, usually by trying to make others feel better. If people sound defensive perhaps it's because we keep having to defend a basic medical procedure. I did my research, I chose what was right for ME. Not any one else, just me. Why not support me on my weight loss journey? Are there people who want me to fail because I elected a different avenue? We are on the same path of wellness. Be supportive, PLEASE. It's the Star Belly Sneeches all over again. Now, what I thought I'd be writing before I read all those comments -- great piece, Alex, and thanks for all you do for the WLS community through this site.

I really love cauliflower "smush" -- steam a well-rinsed head and throw in food processor with chicken stock. Add salt and pepper, cumin, coriander, a little chili. Savory pudding, OMG.

I positively agree! Thanks for sharing this excerpt from your book and congratulations on your writing success. "The Support Surgeon" -- love that!

Interesting article, thank you. I have to wonder if there is a correlation to rising use of artificial sweeteners in these countries, or perhaps high fructose corn syrup.

@@HealthyNewMe -- I didn't know this, fascinating! I think they won the lottery, too, with you as a participant.

Great piece!

I am such a label reader, but recently I fell into the sugar trap through the most unlikely purchases. One was a berry flavored aloe vera juice. The aloe I usually use (1/2 cup mixed into my bottle of Water along with a splash of cranberry) is 6 calories. This one is 55 and 13 grams of sugar. Crystalline Fructose. So sweet I can barely drink it. The other item that shocked me is a liquid Omega-3 fish oil concoction. 60 calories for a tablespoon and that tablespoon is disgustingly sweet because it turns out this product has xylitol in it! I am not into artificial sweeteners at all and can't believe it's in my fish oil for crying out loud! Recently I saw Steevia at the supermarket and thought to myself, "oh good, people will catch on to this sugar alternative -- it's going mainstream." But then I looked at the ingredients. This particular one is loaded with Maltodextrin. What a nightmare! It's not a sugar but it has an incredibly high glycemic index. So all those diabetics and people trying to deal with their health issues by switching to Steevia are getting Maltodextrin at the same time. Look for the 100% pure Steevia, people! Oh dear, I'm on a soapbox. Maybe because it's Easter and I just can't believe what people feed their kids.

Thanks, Connie -- I have not thought about Caroline Myss' work in a long time -- need to go look over my bookshelves and see what's there for me now that I am four months post-op. It is definitely a way more powerful decision than I anticipated -- this choosing of myself and my health first. I'm so happy! And thank you for bringing up negative self talk and how important it is to turn that around.

I'm new at this and of course we are all so different, but to me it's very important that I am not on a diet. Hallelujah! Out of food jail. I am trying to listen closely to my body and if I'm hungry, I eat, if I'm not hungry I don't eat. Surprisingly complex in all of it's simplicity because of all those years of severe dieting which got me mixing up signals, not responding to healthy hunger, holding off from eating, etc. So now if I'm hungry I examine it -- first need to rule out stress-eating if I'm feeling anxious -- then it's just a matter of which good choice to make. I love good healthy food and want to have a good healthy relationship with it.

Great article! I've never understood the candy in the workplace thing -- bowls of M&Ms that some people pass right by but are torture for others. It's like setting up lines of coke or shots of whiskey. Just wrong! Or the way people try to feed kids candy. Hello? As for our homes, we have complete control over what we have in our fridges and pantries. Getting junk food in for others in the family is just a mechanism for perpetuating addiction plus encouraging it in a new generation. Why would we do that? Sorry. I'm cranky because of another incoming storm. No one needs high fructose corn syrup or all the other crap. We are not denying people we love their pleasures; we are helping save their lives.

I missed this thread, too! Catfish, I hope everything is resolved now and that you're not having any more episodes. TMF that is great about the blood pressure medication but a scary way to find that out. I have been asking about mine, which is a small dose. A nurse practitioner once told me I would need to be careful of "bottoming out." When I mentioned this to my bariatric surgeon he did not know what that term meant. I notice I've been skipping my BP med here and there so maybe my body is naturally weaning off. Here's to lots of exercise and good heart health! David, let us know what's going on, okay?

Hi there Yadiordz, I hope you are feeling better after that fall and that the MRI is clear. What a winter this has been! So icy here also. Let us know how you are doing! I am at 215 this morning, a number I have seen before but now I am visualizing 211 on that scale -- can't be long now. I have increased my workouts. Really trying to step it up for March. I have had 5-6 fills (lost count!) -- no primer in my band so started from scratch. I am feeling a good dimming of the appetite and happy to be at peace with hunger. I do have "head hunger" in the evenings when I am used to snacking a great deal, but I am working through that bit by bit. I am down one third of the weight that I want to lose. I'd like to lose that second third by summer. Hope every one is doing well!

The "I get to" really works for me.....not, "I have to work out," but "I live a privileged life and own a treadmill, I get to use it!" Anything to conquer the dread, which is just old wiring. I also try positive self-talk, thanking myself, my body -- no more berating myself. I am trying to be as generous and forgiving as I would be to another human being. Thanks for the reminders!