gowalking

I didn't want my weight to impact who was checking me out (NOT interested in chubby chasers) so I waited till I was happy with my size before going online. Might I suggest if you are not ready to jump into the datiing pool but still want friends and support...look for weight loss support groups in your area. Ask if the hospital hosts any groups, or your bariatric doctor. Even Weight Watchers or OA has support groups. This way, you find people who are like minded and it's a way to socialize without necessarily dating yet.

Look for a lingerie shop with bra fitters. Yes...the bras are expensive, but they will help you find what looks best on you. My breasts are just shriveled lumps of flesh at this point and I needed help desperately. I was fitted with a style and size I never tried before and at least with clothes on, My breasts are where they belong and with a nice shape not just in the bust but the whole chest and waist area as well.

The best way I can put it @ is to describe it as a combination of physical and emotional factors. You still need to make good food choices but when the body physically cannot take the same amount of food in, it is usually easier to make those good choices. For instance, I ordered a meal from Applebees yesterday. Sure, I would have loved to have eaten the Pasta dish that probably was in excess of 1,000 calories and God know how much sodium, but I went to the low calorie menu instead and had the Asian Shrimp Salad. I then chose to use the dressing sparingly rather than dump a ton of it on top of the salad. Then..I paid close attention to the feeling of satiety that you will need to recognize. Once I felt 'not hungry', I stopped eating. I did not finish my meal as I know I would have felt sick or at least uncomfortable if I had eaten more. And...the salad was pretty good as well. You learn to appreciate healthier meals...you really do. And when I woke up this morning...no guilt...no self hatred, no disappointment, no depression. Just another day with this wonderfully active body I have again. I understand where you are coming from. I expected to fail at this as I had failed at every other weight loss attempt. This time I have not failed. The weight has come off and now I'm working on maintenance. I'll be on these boards to be there to help others so check in with me as year after year goes by and I maintain my weight. I just know now that it will be different. I'm betting it will be for you too.

I was maybe six months away from going into a wheelchair when I got banded. My life was miserable due to the pain and loss of mobility. I was as frightened as you were in the beginning but I did what I had to and 2 1/2 years later, I've gotten a new lease on life. I can do almost anything an able bodied person can do. I went on a date Sunday and we walked in the park. That's two amazing things that have happened to me...first that I can walk and second that I am dating. The point is that your life will improve in ways you can't even imagine. I used this site and the folks here as my support and they have never let me down. I stay here to encourage other newbies like yourself who are also scared and in pain. You can have a wonderful quality of life...it's there just a little out of your reach...but it's there. I promise. Good luck, keep us posted. Go to that seminar on Saturday..put one foot in front of the other and keep your eye on the prize.

It's always been about the food for most of us. Just wait till you realize that food is secondary compared to all you gain or get back in your life when the weight comes off. Just a short list below of my gains since losing all that weight. After you read it, you'll realize how unimportant eating pizza and drinking beer is. Throw away the cane or overeat? Walk without pain or overeat? No diabetes or overeat? No high blood pressure or overeat? Minimal knee pain or overeat and get both knees replaced? Wear pretty clothes or overeat? Feel like a desirable woman again or overeat? Swim laps for an hour or overeat? Fit in a plane seat without a belt extender or overeat? Fit in a restaurant booth or overeat? Allow myself to be in photos again or overeat? Not hear nasty things said about my size or overeat? Not feel bad about myself or overeat? Shall I go on? I think you get where I'm going with this, right?

Plenty of folks following this thread and keeping you and your hubby in our thoughts. Wishing you only good news and that this scary and difficult time becomes a thing of the past as soon as possible.

I would have to say 70% is the band and the rest is me. Doesn't mean I have only a little to do with it..I just mean that with the feeling of satiety that the band provides, it's so much easier to stay on track and make good choices. I tried to lose weight for a year prior to deciding to be banded and I struggled that whole year keeping to small portions and better choices and only managed to lose 25 lbs. I lost 100 lbs. the first year I was banded. And that was because I was able to stick with a food plan of around 1,000 calories a day. It's not a magic wand though. On the days where you are battling head hunger, it's a good reminder of why it's so hard to lose weight without surgical intervention.

The biggest reward(s) was just to treat myself with self-respect. I learned to take care of myself and that meant anything from a personal trainer to help me with core strengthening/weight training/balance to things like buying not just pretty clothes, but finally buying better clothes. There's nothing wrong with buying less expensive when you are going down in sizes or if you are just unable to spend the money but if you are in a position to do so, start buying designer clothes for work and play. No question, a Ralph Lauren dress fits and feels different than something bought at Kohl's or Walmart. It just does..and I'm worth it. I also have makeup overflowing..probably a dozen or more tubes of lipstick alone. I go for massages and manicures and pedicures because I now live the well known line 'woman, thy name is vanity'. I feel pretty again and I want to look pretty because I'm worth it. I buy all kinds of accessories as well. I have quite a bit of fashion jewelry so that I can mix and match my real stuff with the less expensive stuff and it feels like I'm wearing a new outfit even if it's just new jewelry and a new purse and/or shoes. Yes...I went from one black and one brown pocketbook to now owning nearly a dozen bags in different colors and styles/sizes. Excessive? Maybe. But I'm worth it. And I also have lots of shoes as well. Again..I'm worth it. Unfortunately, I didn't know how often I would have to buy new shoes...my shoe size went from 8 1/2 wide to 7 regular..but that's another thread..lol. I've been living a ghost life for such a long time..hiding behind my size and trying not to be noticed. Now I want to be noticed. I'm not saying I feel entitled..but I am saying over and over...I am worth it. I have value and I deserve to take care of myself. So do all of you.

The doctors push the sleeve because there's alot less follow up. Easier money for them. Never forget that medicine is also a business.

Just like me, you are a not even a shadow of your former self...you are completely different from the outside and no matter what others say, this type of transformation has to impact the inner person as well. It has for me...and I can understand how it has for you. I was always the happy fat girl laughing at my size to lessen the impact of the hurtful things that I'd hear..even when not meant to hurt. I have some very close friends who have told me that I got attention for my size in a very negative way even if I wasn't aware of it. I'm sure I was stared at and I'm sure no one wanted to see me try to sit near them for fear of loss of personal space. I no longer feel that I'm trapped by my size, nor do I take up more space than I should these days. I don't think about my size all the time anymore in terms of will/if I can fit somewhere. How wonderful to feel that I fit in the world now rather than take up too much of it. I know I've already posted on here but this topic resonates so much with me that I am compelled to write again. This is a journey...a transformation. Both inside and out. Even if we are not aware of it, we are changing everything about our lives whether it's small things or huge life changing things.

How sweet of you to say @sharonintx. Thank you.

Here's the best part of this...I have no guilty pleasures. I eat anything I want. I just do it sparingly and in doing that, without the guilt. For me, the guilt was always the amount I ate...or that I was the fat woman with Ring Dings, chips, and soda in her shopping cart. Life is so much better this way with a cart full of lean Protein, veggies, good carbs...and a few treats like thin pretzels, SF jello/pudding, and unsalted nuts.

A friend of mine suggested I try hypnotizing myself to just 'think' I was banded. I knew it wouldn't work for me...I'm just way too cynical to believe that a hypnotic suggestion will work as well as the band itself. Except....I didn't think the band would work either. It has so sometimes I do wonder if hypnosis might have worked as well. Hmmm...?

What you said...except I never considered any other type of WLS. I wanted nothing permanent done to my insides. This is typically the reason given for choosing the band over another type of procedure.

Yes...the pre-op diet is awful. I had a full out melt-down when I was on it so I totally understand. Between the hunger, fear of surgery, detoxing, etc. it really is the worst part of this I think. But...just wait till you start to transform. Oh my...you will look back on this time as a short but necessary evil and thank your lucky stars that you got through it and knew it was the beginning of a wonderful journey to better health. Good luck and hang in there!

Hi Shel. How're you doing hon? Have your band issues settled down some?

Welcome! As the other posters said, this site has been a tremendous support and wealth of information and personal experience. There aren't as many bandsters since the forums were all put under the BariatricPal site but there are certainly enough of us to get your questions answered or your worries eased. You can also PM folks if you want to discuss something offline. I've been on this site since just before my surgery and I have made some very good friends here..as @@JustWatchMe can attest. And @@KateP is a long term bandster who had maintained for many years. I hope to be just like her and stick around on these boards to let people know that WLS can and does work. Good luck and glad to have you here.

Great post Carol. Really great post. I started therapy when after losing about 75 lbs. I couldn't recognize the person staring back at me in the mirror. I've gone through even more changes since then. I had my crumbling hips replaced and in time, was feeling like a normal person with normal mobility. This was an experience new to me after having mobility issues for years. Then it became all about the outside...suddenly wearing nicer clothing, makeup, changing my hairstyle...and yes...the other big change. I realized after some time that men were looking at me. Yes..I've been married and yes, I'd had other relationships. But nothing in a very long time and these days, I'm back in the dating world..with all those bad triggers out there that could derail my success. So...to the therapist I go every Tuesday to work on the core behaviors that helped to make me obese in the first place and to learn how to not become obese again. One more thing to the OP...you will be a different person and people will treat you differently. Make sure you get help with this if you feel you need it. Nothing should stop you from your goal even if that is your own self. Lastly...check out my before/after pic. Wouldn't you treat me or see me differently when you compare what I used to look like and what I look like now...and how my life has changed because of it?

I've heard it all...been called morbidly obese, big as a house, five by five, fat as a whale, two ton Tessie, etc. I am now in the normal weight range based on BMI and any other determinating criteria and thankful and grateful as can be. My life is so much better in every way imaginable.

I saw the article and photos of the woman who had WLS and a friend of hers took those clever before and after pictures that showed her as famous characters from TV and history. It's called 'The Beth Project'. I also saw comments associated with this article and they were horrible. Alot of 'why not just diet' or 'just do it the right way'. Alot were even worse than that. It made me realize that so many people unknowingly think WLS is some type of cop-out. I didn't understand because my family and friends are so supportive but it seems that the vast majority of people have a very negative attitude about WSL...at least when it comes to comments online. My goodnes...such hatred out there for overweight people. It's very sad. Check out her pictures by the way. They are really good.

Hooray hooray hooray Bandista!! Isn't it so wonderful to not feel the dread anymore when dealing with an event?? Oh lord...I remember so well how awful it was to know I needed to either find something or buy something knowing I'd look awful no matter what I bought. What a relief to not have to deal with that. It's a good thing to remember when I'm feeling the head hunger.

Excellent!! So many folks are focused on the losing part and for those of us lucky enough to have made it to maintenance, this is the real test. There's no positive reinforcement by watching the numbers on the scale go down. The clothing sizes aren't going down, and it just means we need to find other ways of staying positive while we deal with our issues on a daily basis. I'm glad you set this up Alex. I know I'll be in this forum plenty.

I lost around 150 or so lbs. It depends as I waffle between 113 and 117. I know how difficult it is to see the 'new person'. I've been seeing a therapist for more than a year to deal with some of these issues.

I was also worried about how the surgery would affect my social life which was also all about food and drink. Guess what...I am still a social person...still go out to eat and drink. I just no longer do it to excess. In fact, last week I went out to dinner six nights in a row due to family in from out of town and other committments. Even with a glass or two of wine, I still dropped a little bit of weight. I ate band sized portions and made healthy choices...fish, veggies mostly but small amounts of carbs as well. Stuck to broiled or baked..nothing fried. Wasn't hard to do and had a great time enjoying the food and company. I know you are scared of the unknown but try not to be. You may find like me, that things will be much much better than you can imagine. Good luck!

I have skin tags but not related to areas where friction occurs. I get alot of them around my neck and shoulders and larger moles on different areas. I've never snipped them myself. My dermatologist snips what she can get in 15 minutes and charges me $500 as it is considered cosmetic and thusly not covered by insurance. She even calls it the '15 minute special'. The only thing I have noticed is a huge change in the amount of chafing I used to get from the thighs rubbing together. These days, my thighs don't touch so there is no issue at all. Plus I don't get the rashes and other skin irritations from being heavy and sweating all the time. So much better now. I can wear pantyhose in any weather and no longer have to worry about fighting to get them up over the thighs and belly....