gowalking

It's all about your attitude. I'm seeing someone now who is very proud of the challenges I've faced and all I've done to improve myself and my situation. He calls me spunky because I want to try just about everything. He doesn't care about the loose skin or the chronic back issues. He cares that I try and every day is a gift in my new appreciation for a normal life. And he is more than patient in terms of an intimate and exclusive relationship. I'm driving this thing for sure and he knows that's the way it is. He doesn't get into my bed till I'm ready..and only when/if I'm ready. As CowGirlJane says, if he wants me, he's got to work for it. And so far, he is.

A fat surgeon... Sorry...just couldn't resist..lol.

Interesting topic and responses Alex. I actually don't have an issue with restaurants where you know you are eating waaayy too many calories. What bothers me is when you think you are ordering healthy and come to find out that you may not be. People are getting smarter about asking for dressing and sauces on the side as they know many are calorie laden but I recall early on in my weight loss journey and thinking if I ordered crab legs at Red Lobster, I'd be fine. When I went online to check the menu, I saw to my surprise that the sodium count for that meal was in excess of 1800 grams. I've no idea why it's so high but had I eaten those crab legs, I'd have gained Water weight for sure and would have presumed a weight gain for some unknown reason which would have been very frustrating. I know a great number of people rely on chain restaurants and they are the worst offenders as the above poster noted about the meal at Cheesecake Factory. Am glad that I live in a city where there are so many restaurant options that don't include the chains. One of my go to type of foods is Greek/Mediterranean/Middle Eastern. The fish especially is usually very fresh and simply grilled. Plus they have an awful lot of non-meat items to choose from. Ever have the lemon artichokes? Yum.

Hi friends. I went for a bone density scan on Saturday morning. Like alot of small white women, I have bone loss and the start of osteoperosis. So I take supplements and get a bone scan every year to keep an eye on everything. This year they wanted the spine along with the forearm so I got my spine scanned and the tech said they may not be able to read it all because of the band being in the way. I looked at the monitor and there it was....clear as a bell just floating there in my midsection. This is the first time I've really seen it. When I get the fluoroscopy, I don't see the band very well..it just looks like a Rorschach test to me. But this bone scan showed it clear as day. I must admit I'm still ashamed that I had to go to these lengths to get my eating under control but still...I looked at that band and thought this was what made the reclaiming of my life possible.

Ask Alex to create one. If there's enough interest, he will.

Maybe a little off topic but I am very aware that my drinking has increased since I've been banded...and I know why. I wasn't able to drink wine when I was heavy because it gave me awful heartburn. Now that my hernia has been repaired and I've lost 150+ pounds, I can drink white or red with no issues. I also know that folks can replace one addiction with another and while I don't have an alcohol problem, I am aware that it's a possibility so I make sure to keep my wine consumption to no more than two glasses while out to dinner and only an occasional glass at home.

My second husband was a CO at a medium security facility in Orange County NY. I have a pretty good idea of what you are facing. We drove up near the Canadian border once and we were near one of the upstate prisons and he told me that if we lived up in that area, we could live like royalty on his salary. I told him over my dead body. Bars, barns, and rusting cars in the front yards was all I saw. Oh and trees, trees, and more trees. My suggestion for you is to move closer to civilization. I belong to the Y and that's really what you need. Good luck and let us know if you find a solution to your problem.

Me too @@LipstickLady!! I'm always in the squeezy seat now. I even started to do it myself rather than wait for someone to point me there. That's a big deal because it means I know I'll fit. What a difference after so many years of worrying about not being able to fit somewhere. I never tire of reading about NSV experiences @Daveo. Keep 'em coming!

thank you @@The Candidate. That was a lovely post and I am so glad to know that I can be of some help.

That's your port you're feeling...not the band. My port also sticks out like B-52's does. It won't after September though. I'm revising to a lower profile port and the surgeon is stitching it to the muscle to tuck it in further. It shows when I wear certain items of clothing and it bothers me when I wear a belt. Good luck @WoodenHearts. You'll do fine..it's early in your journey and you still have to get a handle on living the banded life. Once you do, all will be well.

Thank you sweetheart! If it's a good book, you'll have to mail it to me so I can read it when I get back. Running errands tomorrow to pick up a raincoat that fits better than the one I currently have, and also need a converter for my cell phone charger. It's getting closer. I'm scared because I'm heading over there by myself and taking the underground to get to the hotel but once I'm there and meet up with my sister, I'll be good to go. Still can't believe it sometimes...how lucky I am to have found this forum and all my BP friends.

Sometimes I wish I could somehow give you newbies a glimpse into your futures so you can see how wonderful things will be a year or two from now. Since I can't do that, I post positive threads to give you an idea of what is in store. I was a scared newbie less than three years ago wondering what the hell I was doing letting some doctor put a rubber band around my stomach and hating myself for getting so fat that I needed this kind of intervention. Here I am now living the life I should have been living all along. All I can say is that while I am sad that I sat on the sidelines for such a long time, I am beyond grateful for the second chance I've gotten and am doing my darndest to make up for lost time.

...hence the reason I'm in therapy. No one can lose that much weight, become unrecognizable, and not need professional help. Thank goodness I'm seeing someone. She is helping me to navigate these scary but wonderful experiences I'm going through. I look at the pictures of me at that heavier weight and I don't know who that person is anymore. I'm still learning to know who the girl on the bike is, but she's still a mystery to me alot of the time.

The story is that I wasn't much of an eater as a toddler so my mother asked the doctor what to feed me to put some weight on me and he said spaghetti, potatoes, etc. So..she did and I turned into a full blown carbaholic. I'll take a bowl of pasta over a piece of cake anytime. I don't blame mom, I'm sure I'd have found carbs eventually but it started my road to obesity for sure.

I know I sound like a broken record but friends..here is what success looks like. Just so happens I'm up a few pounds from my lowest weight but so what. Who cares? I was almost wheelchair bound before surgery and now I'm riding a bike. I have my life back and that's what success is all about. So please stop worrying about the number on the scale. It's just one indicator...and not nearly as important as getting back quality of life. Have a great day everyone.

I had a major meltdown about this just about a week ago. I cried myself to sleep, thinking to myself I will never be able to eat like a real person again. It took a few days to pull out of that funk and I'm doing better now, I am 7 weeks out today, yesterday was my birthday and I didn't really do anything. I am rambling now, but yes this is something I wish I had known prior to surgery!!!Lot's of us have this reaction myself included. I feel it's because we have an abnormal relationship with food. We use it as comfort, and to avoid stress or anxiety along with a host of other reasons none of them having to do with food as fuel. That's the cycle that needs to be broken. I'm using the help of a therapist to hopefully permanently stop using food as an emotional crutch.

For the ladies wondering about sweating and temperatures, just know that I went from a sweat monster to being cold all the time now. I hardly ever use the overhead fan anymore, I used to use the winter comforter only on the coldest evenings and now I use it from October right thru May. I don't use the air conditioner anywhere's near the amount I used to. Hell...I'm so cold these days that I wear a wetsuit in the pool at the Y. No, I'm not kidding...I really need it to not shiver while I'm working out. There are so many things we do to accomodate our larger sizes and it happens so gradually that we don't even realize it. But it's so glorious when we realize we don't have to do all these things anymore. It's freeing. It's hard to explain but I can feel how much lighter I am. It's not hard to move my body now. It's not a big deal to bend or crouch or walk or any physical activity. It really is exciting to know what lies ahead for you newbies. That's why I tell so many folks to stay away from the scale and to focus on these types of successes. Way better than just counting numbers.

If you are having trouble motivating when it comes to exercise, try taking classes. They helped me tremendously because I enjoyed the social aspect of getting to meet the others in the class and it helped to make me feel an obligation to get to those classes. Especially when I started to make friends and they would ask if I was OK if I didn't get to a class. Guilt is a powerful motivator..lol. I take Water exercise classes by the way. Great way to move around with minimal discomfort as the water keeps you buoyant.

Fat related routines I no longer have to adhere to: Air drying clothes. Using Nair on my legs because I couldn't reach everywhere with the razor. Using alot of toilet paper to make sure I got it all. Going to the first car on the train so I could be sure to not have to squeeze into a seat. next to someone else who might give me the stinkeye since I was overflowing into their space Asking for a table in the restaurant because I didn't fit in a booth. Sitting in the front seat of the car because I took up too much room in the back if there were three of us trying to sit there. Going through powder like there was no tomorrow. Carrying tissues in my pocketbook to dab the sweat off my forehead and neck because any type of movement made me sweat like a pig. Acting like it didn't bother me when I couldn't join in on an activity because I was too fat. Making fun of myself before anyone else might in order to deflect the terrible hurt by people making remarks even if they didn't realize how much they hurt my feelings. Acting asexual because fat women shouldn't have those needs. Always being ashamed of how out of control I had become. There's more, but I think you all get my drift here. I will never go back to those days again. Never.

Even though I'm banded Tessa, I'm responding because I can understand your concerns. Let me assure you that after introducing food after what I presume has so far been a liquid diet will absolutely cause a weight gain. Please remember that this is a lifetime change and gains and stalls are just part of it. You didn't gain the weight overnight and you won't lose it that way either. You should pay attention to sodium and sugar as too much can cause weight gain. But some salt and sugar won't derail you. The only thing that will derail you is worrying about every loss and gain. Do yourself a favor and stay away from the scale. Just pay attention to what you are eating. Choose wisely...protein first and watch the carbs, sugar, and sodium. Exercise. Move around. It will make you feel like you accomplished something and will improve your mood. Pay attention to how your clothes fit and those non scale victories. Before you know it, you will notice that you are looking and feeling better. Take it from me...you'll get there. I was banded 2 1/2 years ago and my journey was also not linear. Yet, I still managed to lose an amazing amount of weight and have a normal life as well. Good luck and keep us posted on your status.

Was out on a date last night with a guy I've been seeing for a couple of months. Not serious yet but inching forward per my personal preference. He told me that what attracts him to me other than the obvious (he likes small and cute and thinks I am..lol), he likes that I am positive and not looking to fill a void in my life with a man/relationship. As CowGirlJane says, desperation is a turnoff. Doesn't mean you have to be perfect. No one is...and I have alot of baggage due to my mobility issues/chronic pain, and former obesity. But the fact that I'm excited by life, and have a well rounded group of friends and family to fulfill me is very attractive to a man. I don't need a man, I'd like to have a man as part of my life. They seem to gravitate towards women like that. I know I look for the same thing. Not interested in anyone who is looking to me to fulfill them. It's too tiring...I did that once already and won't make the same mistake again.

Thanks @Maddiee. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to coming to your fabulous city. It's been a dream of mine since I was a teenager. If you ever think of coming across the pond, come visit my city. Manhattan is a blast as well. Wouldn't want to live anywhere else. When I go up to my roofdeck, I can't see the stars...to much ambient lighting from The Empire State Building, The Freedom Tower, The Chrysler Building, The Citicorp Building...etc. I have a great view of them all and never get tired of it.

Here you go. Me on a bike. I rode around for more than an hour. London, here I come!

I've been on dating sites for just over a year. I've only told a handful of the men I've dating about the surgery. Usually if we're on the third date or more, I'll tell. I figure if I'm going out at least three or four times, there's something there. I show them an old photo and tell them I have the lapband. I've never been rejected based on my former weight issue that I can tell. The basic reaction has been positive and I'm usually pretty good at telling once we've established a connection.