gowalking

The lapband gave me quality of life again. There are certain dates I'll always remember. My birthday of course, my kids birthdays, my wedding anniversary, even the day I lost my darling husband. All of them dates of great importance in my life. I've also included the day my life changed for the better though I didn't know it yet....January 14th, 2013. The day my band was placed.

Professionals know to not talk at all. Yes...I love massages and I know what you are going through. I used to have to tuck my hands under my thighs so as not to have my hands and arms fall of the sides of the table. Now I fit fine and have all the room in the world. As far as the loose skin, forget about it. The massueuse has seen it all and will know you are a WLS person. So what...just enjoy it.

That happened to me a few months ago. I was at Talbot's and inadvertently wound up on the plus size floor. The saleswoman asked me if I was looking for a gift for someonw and I said, no I was looking for myself to which she then said I was on the plus floor and petites was up two flights. It was wonderful and I know how great a moment like that feels.

Went out for lunch yesterday with the fella and we were both pretty hungry. Everything looked yummy but I suggested we have two items, and see how hungry we still were and to go from there. So we shared a pitcher of white sangria, a small guoc, and nachos appetizer. Turns out that was enough. Never even bothered ordering anything else. Plus...it turned out to satisfy well into the evening when we had some fruit and cheese to nibble on rather than a full dinner. I really do prefer eating this way. Haven't been uncomfortably full in quite some time and I have learned to enjoy not feeling the heaviness or the guilt that comes from overeating.

FYI, this is the group shot taken yesterday.

Glad things worked out and you were there. She needed her mom yesterday.

Hi Lisa! I was heading towards life in a wheelchair. I had horrific joint disease and my hips needed to be replaced. I could barely walk a block, I used a cane, and I couldn't manage stairs. That was 2 1/2 years ago. Check out the picture I attached below. This was taken about a month ago. Yes..we really can get second chances.

When a door closes, somewhere, a window opens. I'm betting this is the beginning of a wonderful new stage of your life. Welcome to the site!

Lisa, Ken, and I are headed to AC today to meet up with a bariatric group based in Philadelphia who are having their annual meet and greet in Atlantic City. We're interested in getting to know these folks...they are very welcoming to newcomers but I'm also checking them out to see what we might be able to take away from this experience to try to have our own meet & greet. I will be communicating with Alex to determine if a similar event can be organized for us as well. Just curious...let me know who on this site would be interested in something like this. We have people from all over the country plus folks from outside the US as well so some would have to come a long way unfortunately. I have however, seen on the FB site for this event today, that people are coming from up and down the Eastern Seaboard and even from Canada. Again...if you can respond and let me know if you are interested in trying something like this, please let me know so I can gauge if there's enough interest to follow up. thanks all!

Hang in there. Once you are maintaining and people get used to seeing you at your lower weight, they'll stop. I had folks at work who seriously did not recognize me. I don't mean they said they didn't recognize me as a way to say I looked different/better...they literally had no idea who I was till I spoke. Imagine what that feels like. Unfortunately, our 'issue' is completely external. If you are an alcoholic, it isn't immediately noticible when you stop drinking. Same for any other destructive behavior. But weight issues are right out there and you can't hide whether you are losing or gaining. Try not to show your annoyance...most people are not being nosy..they are being (or think they are being) thoughtful. I couldn't wait till no one noticed my new body at work and I'm just about there after a year with no discernable weight loss.

@Daveo...I just posted the other day about being in a new relationship after many many years on my own and how I was surprised by that but I can echo lots of what is posted here. When you are happy with your life, and have lots to do and many different interests, the ladies will focus on that, and not your physical appearance. My gentleman is nothing like I would have imagined. He is of another culture than me and very ordinary in the looks department. What makes him attractive is our shared interests and the fact that he wants a lady in his life...but he doesn't need one. Desperation is very unatractive and that goes for men and women. We are both of that same opinion and have full and happy lives. That's what attracts people to each other. Find what interests you, and don't let the fact that you are alone make you lonely. Cultivate friendships and do things that you enjoy. Then you will be where you want to be when some lovely lady crosses your path. Good luck my friend!

I suspect like many of us, as the weight drops and you find a better quality of life, the loss of the favorite foods, or the loss of eating to excess will fade. As it says in my signature, being normal sized, and being able to do all the things I couldn't before, beats whatever is on my plate or on the menu. I also can eat anything so for me, it's all about choosing wisely and watching my portions. Even more than two years post-op, I can overeat if I'm not paying attention. So, I take the portion I know is band friendly or I divide up my meal into the correct portion and then I can forget about it and just eat what I've set aside and no more. If I have one of those days where I'm wanting to eat more than I should, I remind myself where I was versus where I am now as far as quality of my life and that's usually all it takes.

If possible, just incur the cost of bottled Water and know for next time to bring the flask. You shouldn't jeopardize your health or well being over this.

They've done 'real women' challenges before and there's always one or two designers that get all bent out of shape because these women have curves. I for one am convinced the fashion industry is fine with taking our money but really hates fat women. We've had a thread recently about plus sized clothes...and how awful the styles are.

A year after WLS and 100 lbs. down, I started seeing a therapist because I didn't know who the woman staring back at me in the mirror was. It's now a year and a half that I've been seeing the therapist and we've done lots of digging to find the root causes of the body dismorphia and why I turn to food for comfort. I'm starting to understand some of what drives me but I'm still a work in progress. I do know that the therapist has helped me to figure out other ways of coping with stress or difficult situations without turning to food. I'm learning things about myself and I can literally feel when we've hit a bad spot and stuff comes out of me like pus from an infection. Sorry for the visual you all just got but it really is like lancing a boil sometimes. I'm not doing therapy in order to point finger or blame anyone..I'm doing it to understand myself and what triggers me towards bad behaviors when it comes to food, and pretty much anything else. We're currently working on why I feel like a phony..like a liar now that I'm thin. Sometimes I want to wear a sign around my neck that says 'former fatty'. I feel guilty when someone notices me. These are all behaviors that can result in self sabotage if I don't find a way to deal with them. I think we all should be in therapy. Not just us on this site, but truly everyone. Our issues and self destruction are just more noticeable than the gambler, or cheater, or thief, or alcoholic but no less impactful on quality of life. OK...off my soapbox for now.

Well my friends..I've let my last dating site contract lapse. I'm off of all of them now. I was dating two men I liked and have decided it's time to commit to one of them. I also decided to not pursue anything with the widower I met just before I went to London. Julian is asking me to have an exclusive relationship with him and I've decided to go ahead and give it a shot. For someone who was looking for a good man who wants an exclusive relationship, I find myself full of doubts about opening my heart to someone but I know it's all about the leap of faith and allowing someone in even if it means opening up the chance to be hurt. We've been going very slowly on purpose and I will continue to be cautious in terms of not making some of the same mistakes I've made in the past. I also know that this is crapola because when it comes to feelings, logic often goes by the wayside. What I do know is that I suddenly have someone in my life who wants to be around me and is very proud of what I've done to improve my life. He knows about the lapband, the hip replacements, the loose skin, the obese person I once was and seems to see it all as a positive in that I've done what needed to be done to reclaim my life. He enjoys watching me enjoy the things I can't ever take for granted like going for a walk, or riding a bike, or taking a vacation. I can see the possibility of a future with him and that is thrilling and scary at the same time. Wish me luck. Tomorrow I tell the other man that the timing is not right for us and I hope we part on a positive note. I like him and it's just a question of who was more available..not that one was better than the other. For those still searching for that elusive relationship out there, know that this was never on my radar when I underwent lap band surgery. It was to avoid life in a wheelchair and to help me get healthier in all ways. I was on lots of BP meds, and was going to be diabetic shortly. I needed to get my quality of life back and even as I lost the weight, dating never was in my eyesight. It happened unexpectedly and I'm the first to admit I didn't have much confidence I'd find anyone worth seeing even a second time. So just know that if I've stumbled upon someone who I think might be a keeper, you can be confident that there is someone out there for you as well. You just can't sit back and wait for him or her to show up. You gotta search them out by getting out and about. And ladies...be a little aggresive. Men can be shy at first. Once you know they are interested, then let them pursue. I've gotten many a date doing just that. OK...back to work. I'm done with my coffee, and really need to earn my paycheck. Have a good day everyone.

Here you go Dub. I post some of these before/after pics every once in a while but am happy to do so again. As far as why some do and some don't..it could be as simple as not knowing how to upload pictures to something as serious as body dysmorphia. Or..they could be trolls.... Oh..and it's OK to tell me you don't recognize that I'm the same person in both photos. Believe me...I know it's me in both pictures...but it's certainly not the same person. I'm a new and improved version for sure.

You'll do great. Can't wait to welcome you to the other side and the beginning of a wonderful journey.

Awful...just awful. If your daughter needs to speak to a professional, make sure she goes. I can imagine she will become angry over this and not know how to process it. My sympathies to your daughter, the girlfriend and this young man's family.

This gives her a forum to fat shame. Most of us are ashamed enough. Public shaming just adds to our misery.

I think we're all pretty awesome these days...

..of weight loss surgery. I used to have trouble walking a single block because of the joint pain, extra weight I carried, and the shortness of breath. Today I walked from Manhattan to Brooklyn and back. No pain, no sweating like a pig, no heavy breathing.

I so appreciate your responses...and always feel free to chime in Joe. I value all of your opinioins. By the way...here are some cool pictures I took yesterday on the sightseeing cruise. I see these things all the time, but it's still fun to see them as a 'tourist'.

uh uh....not a small victory at all. This is a huge victory because it's a change in behavior..which is the hardest part of this journey.

Ohh...lots of comments on this thread. You struck a nerve for sure. My NUT...well, she gave me one piece of advice that worked great for me and that was to show me portion size. As a life long WW, I took that info and created my own 'food plan'. I basically did the WW diet...3 oz. Protein, 1/2 cup veggies and 1/4 cup carbs. I stayed around 1250 calories a day and put everything I ate into myfitnesspal so I'd know how many calories/fats/sugars/sodium I was ingesting. I lost 150 or so lbs. that way. So...while the NUT was far from interactive with me, she gave me direction and I was able to work with that to be successful. I can't say if she would have been good for me had I gone through many of the issues others have while learning how to work with their bands, tummies, rerouted guts, etc.