gowalking

Totally. It looked like a golf ball under my skin. I can't see any change just now. The area is all swollen but once the swelling does go down, I should see the difference.

That's funny, but truthfully, it's commentary.....and inspiration. Hell, if I could, I'd post it as a NSV... I know this is probably TMI, but the look of wonder on my face he saw wasn't based on how good it felt when I was in a certain position...but more my amazement that I could even get my legs and waist bent that way...

I'm having a port replacement tomorrow and I'm on a liquid only diet for two days. Doesn't have to be Clear liquids fortunately so I bought Lipton chicken noodle Soup and strained the noodles out. I always liked the flavor of the Lipton Soups but this tasted, I swear, like ocean Water. I couldn't believe how salty it was. I tried to water it down to no avail so I wound up tossing it. I guess this is the side effect of eating very little in the way of boxed/processed foods. The only thing I keep in the house that's processed is mac & cheese. I must admit I make that on occasion for a side dish. At 1/4 cup amounts, it didn't impact weight loss or current maintenance.

I'm not so naive to think that this article isn't somewhat skewed as most are. It's easy to tweak statistics to ensure a certain outcome, but I hope to see more and more articles and discussions like this. Especially powerful is the comparison to other attempts to improve oneself with very very poor outcomes. Maybe then one day, not so many people will think that we just have to walk away from the table or fat shame us in a million different ways. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ocean-robbins/the-truth-about-governor-_b_8198498.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

I'm dating 35-49 ish. Mostly divorced with kids. I wouldn't worry then. You're not looking for 20 year olds who have no clue.

I was going to ask what age range you were looking to date. As OKCPirate notes, the older they are, the less concerned about tight skin they are. I'm 57 and my BF is 60. He knew about the skin ahead of time and it doesn't matter to him at all. I am very flexible at my size these days and very enthusiastic. Those things are waaay more important than the perfect body. Having said that, if you are much younger and seeing men in your age range, they might be taken aback if you do not disclose first. But if he's a keeper, the imperfections won't matter. I'm telling you...you are way more concerned about this than almost any man worth his salt. If you want to date, don't wait for plastic surgery....it's the least important reason for waiting in my book.

Good for you! Some of the women in my class have an hour's commute after class yet they show up regularly. I'm just around the corner so I have no reason not to get myself in gear and head over there.

You look spectacular. I'm not sleeved..I have a band. But the surgery was on 1/14/13 so I decided to post here. I'm also interested in how folks are doing nearly three years out. I'm finding maintenance a whole other animal and it comes with all sorts of challenges...

As Shel says, water water water. If the gym is too expensive, try the Y. I belong and it's alot less than the gyms in the area. I know I can't and don't have the right to tell you how to spend your money but this is immensly important for you. I have joint disease and even with new hips, the treadmill and bicycle are not the best option. Water however, helped me more than any physical therapy ever did. Take a look at my stats. I did that swimming laps and doing water aerobics.

I'm actually very surprised your therapist has you creating this OK Cupid account. This isn't a dig, but it's obvious you are in a very vulnerable place right now and adding the feelings/emotions of another person seems very dangerous. I worry that this woman wants to fix you...support you, nurse you, etc. I'm so sorry Smye but I really think you are right...you are so not ready for a relationship. Tell this woman now that you jumped the gun. She will either tell you it's OK, or tell you to F**k off. My biggest challenge in the dating world was to understand that I had no control over someone else. That was hard because I always felt it was my fault. Not pretty enough..not funny enough, not good enough in bed. God..the list can go on and on. You want to be the best Smye you can when you start to look for a new partner. Enough with the dating... Work on your issues first and be the healthiest emotionally you can. I don't mean to sound superior but I'm living proof of this strategy. I was so desperate to remarry after my husband died that I did marry four years after his death to a man who was as desperate as me. He thought a wife would make his life wonderful. He got everything he wanted. A wife, a nice house, more money than he was used to...and he was still a miserable son of a bitch. He hated his own life so nothing I did or tried made any difference. I knew from that experience not to date again. And I didn't. Not for 20 years. And just to make sure nothing would ever ever happen with the opposite sex, I made myself so unattractive that no man would want me. When I had WLS, it was for medical reasons. Only after I lost all the weight, did I realize I was getting interest from the opposite sex. For a year after going online, I made mistake after mistake and only with the therapist's help, was I able to be smart about who I was attracting..and who I was attracted to. I'm currently with an emotionally healthy man and we are having a great time together. Sorry for this long post, but really...you are heading in a very bad direction in my opinion..and I also feel bad for this woman you are likely going to disappoint.

I'm going to the Pennsylvania Dutch Country with the BF next month and sure enough..he wants to go horseback riding. I haven't been on a horse since I was a kid but how nice to not have to worry that I'd kill the poor animal by just getting on him.

To the surprise of both myself and my primary care physician, I lost all my excess weight.

Oh gosh yes...the shoes. I forgot about the shoes. I too went from an 8 1/2 wide to a 7 regular. Wish I had known that...I had to give away so many pairs of shoes as the weight came off. Who expects that??

You can't make someone treat you a certain way. All I can do is say no thanks and have nothing while I wait around for a man that doesn't exist. I just want to give you a big hug Carol. You are obviously hurting and I'm so sorry you haven't found a therapist who can help you. That man does exist. Even if you never cross paths, he does exist. Pink Dahlia is right. Like finds like. If you value yourself, you will attract men who value you. I learned that lesson the hard way but at least I learned it. Only when I got to a good place in my life, was I able to bring someone into it who is also in a good place in his life. It took me 15 years to get there. Honestly. I had so much work to do on myself that I stayed away from men for all that time. In retrospect, it was the best thing I could have done for myself. I'm with a man now who cares for me and values me, like the bible quote says, 'at a price above rubies'. You deserve the same.

Just an FYI gals...we're so used to limited clothing options when we wear larger sizes, but once you are out of women's sizes and able to shop anywhere, this becomes less and less of an issue. If you can't find anything at one store, you can just go to another one. I wore plus sizes for so long that I forget how much easier it is to buy clothes when you have so many more options. I recall when I flew to London over the summer that I didn't worry for the first time in a long time, if my luggage got lost. Worst case scenario, I go to any store to replace what was lost. Any store.

@@gowalking i would put your picture up as a role model you are an inspiration to me kathy Aww...thank you Kathy. How sweet of you.

I get that you want to plan, but in buying certain sizes so far from hitting the correct weight, I really think you're setting yourself up for possible disappointment. This really is like wanting to hit a certain weight goal by a certain time period and feeling bad if you don't reach it. Can you buy items online if they are not available in the stores? I just think that might be a better way to go.

@@Inner Surfer Girl hey bud sheltered life here what is the above?? thanx kathy A vision board is a tool for helping you to envision what could be/what you want your future to look like. At its simplest, you can cut out pictures, words, phrases, and other images from magazines/print materials, and paste them onto a piece of poster board or paper. It is a creative way to gather thoughts and inspiration. For instance, related to weight loss surgery, you could cut out photos of activities you would like to do, clothes you would like to wear, places you would like to go, inspiring quotes or ideas, etc. Whatever motivates you is a good tool. Hope you make a truly inspiring vision board for yourself.

Dr. Ren is my surgeon. I can't imagine any issues as all. Make that appointment and come to our F2F support group on October 17th if you can. PM me for location and other details if you're interested. By the way, I am banded almost three years with no fills. I still see Dr. Ren regularly and post here regularly as well. Keeps me honest and on track. All of us...or almost all of us could be in your shoes. No shame in that.

No ma'am. No cost to attend. Hope to see you on the 17th!

Now that I'm with a man who streams, we are watching Orange, Narcos, and House of Cards all at the same time. I'm going to cancel my Netflix if we're still together in six month. I haven't watched a DVD since the spring. I'll have to take note of the series you all are watching and put them on a list.

Carol....before you move forward with WLS, work with a therapist to figure out your other issues. This is not American upbringing sweetheart, it's a warped sense of self value. Believe me...I know. You are not enjoying sex..or more to the point, you are not connecting with someone at a multitude of levels. I was so full of self hatred that I hated anyone who even looked at me twice. So I made sure that no one would look at me and got so heavy that I could barely walk. I've been at this almost three years and in therapy for nearly two. It's only now that I can actually have a healthy relationship. Oh and I'm still in therapy because I know without it, I'd have made some pretty bad decisions. Good luck hon and keep us posted.

Good post @@fairee but I need to just remind folks that like it or not, some of us are different inside when the outside changes. Some changes are for the better, but not all. For me...I know unequivocally that I am different at this weight than I was 145 lbs. heavier. Just now as a matter of fact, a colleague from the UK who I do not know, saw my coffee on my desk and asked where he could find the coffee machine. Was a time I'd direct him and not get up from my desk. Today I smiled and told him to follow me. He introduced himself and sure enough, I will be working with him down the road on an initiative I'm co-leading with another colleague. So now I know who he is...and he knows who I am. He told me he was interested in talking to my group to get our input and now he can put a face to a name. These are good things in the business world. And we both found out we used to work for the same company years ago. Another connection. I'm full of confidence these days...even if I'm faking it some of the time. And while I still have body issues, I understand that I am an attractive woman now...and if you think that doesn't matter, you're wrong. We'd like to think it doesn't...but it does. I see it all the time with my interactions with colleagues, some friends and family...strangers...and our romantic partners. If you are not a confident person, it will be hard to find a good romantic partner. Not cocky...but confident. Even if you are heavy, confidence goes a long way. I went out with a man I was very attracted to because he was a confident man. His size was of no issue. I've also been married to a slim man...who unfortunately was not confident at all, and the marriage did not last. I said it earlier, and I'll say it again...for the OP, therapy will only help you in this area...and in many others as well. Find out who you are first...and then you can find the person who enhances your life best.

Most of the items I have in my kitchen have been mentioned except for hummus....great snack and much better with fresh veggies than any kind of dip. Also...I keep 100 calorie items in my kitchen as well. I'm in maintenance now, so bear that in mind but a cup of coffee and a 100 calorie biscotti or brownie goes a long way to satisfy my sweet tooth and the intake is totally limited. So many items are available in the 100 calorie portions and it makes it so much easier to not overdo. Oh..and I keep Water flavorings around as well. Just can't deal with plain water all the time and the drops help to change things up a bit. Good luck!

..or that sugar free does not mean low calories...