gowalking

Yeah...I saw your posts on FB. Looked like you had a fab time. Well...turns out The Who concert cancelled. Daltrey has meningitis so the tour is being rescheduled for the spring of next year. Good news is that the man and I are going to The Pennsylvania Dutch Country for a Fall Foliage weekend instead.

FYI, my boyfriend is in HR so I know that the comment by your boss was out of line. Tell him/her not to discuss anything of a personal nature with you including anything weight related. That will take care of at least one person who is giving you a hard time.

Amen to this!! I am positive that my being happy with myself and my life is the reason why I didn't get with someone needy and clingy. I know I was needy when I married the second husband. Not surprising, he was even more needy than me and eventually I had to get away from him. I didn't dare go online to look for a possible significant other till I was in therapy for more than a year to work on me and my issues first.

oh wow... OK then...stay off POF. And I agree that sites you pay for usually have a better quality of potential partners. In this case, if someone is ready to spend money, they are usually more serious.

Same kind of people tell pregnant women horror stories about labor and delivery. Just ignore them.

Went for pre-op testing yesterday and per the nurse, I should be feeling much better in a few days post op. I can swim in three weeks, gentle exercise/walking/sex in two-three weeks. The boyfriend is trying to get in as much nookie as he can now...lol.

Post a current picture. This way, no surprises if/when you meet up with someone. Believe me...it's the better way to go. As far as dating sites...for whatever reason, I did very well on Zoosk. Better than Plenty of Fish and even JDate. Had two nice relationships with men I met on that site and the current beau, who may just be exactly who I've been looking for, was also on Zoosk.

Like, love..this

Deepest condolences Julie.

After my divorce, I didn't date for 20 years. You think it's hard dating after 30? Try dating after 50... I would also suggest you work with a professional. This dating thing is fraught with danger for us folks who scare easily. You need a tough skin and a therapist will help you to realize it's not about you most of the time, and you can't control what someone else does, or how they feel about you. Know what you want. Don't overlook someone the first time around. I was lucky enough to have met a great guy online and was going to shoot him down initially as I was more interested in someone else. My therapist helped me to see that I was going after the one who would not be there for me and when I made him go away, I was able to focus on the better choice. We've been together since early May and finding that we enjoy spending time with each other the more we get to know each other. As far as specifics about how to meet, or how to act on a first date...all I can do is suggest you go online and look for sites that meet your needs. And as far as a first date, I can only give you my opinion. Nothing more than a chaste kiss on the cheek or a short hug if you had a nice time. More than that is in my opinion, taking too much liberty. Good luck!!

Am so ashamed to admit I've never been to the windy city. Must must get there one day.

Really?? Where do you shop? I used to shop at Avenue and everything was soooo long on me. I would have given anything to have had your height.

Hi @Nyelaah. Just so happens that a Goodwill opened up on 14th St. today I believe. If you know the Union Square area, it's just West of there. There is also a Goodwill store on 8th St. but this new one is alot bigger. I gave most of my larger sized clothes to them and know that they have a pretty good selection. I see NYU students in there all the time going through the selections. You may want to check it out.

Want to know what's even cooler Deb? I'm seeing The Who and a week later, heading to Lincoln Center to hear The NY Philharmonic with the boyfriend. Can't believe how lucky I am to have found someone who is interested in both rock and roll and classical music same as I am. Was thinking that I may have been the only one like this.

OK...so took a step in the right direction. As you may or may not know, NYC apartment kitchens are not like on TV or in the movies. They are tiny tiny rooms with minimal storage. I ordered a blender so I could use it for smoothies. I know that these drinks can also be calorie laden but I will make sure they are healthy and not full of empty calories. In order to have room for the blender, I had to go through my one storage cabinet and start to get rid of things. Tossed some of the pots I know I don't need...and got rid of a large colander as well. These items were used by me for mostly Pasta related cooking. These days, a small strainer and small saucepan is enough as I never cook more than a cup of pasta at one time. Then that cup is portioned out and frozen into 1/4 cup amounts. So, as I started to rid myself of some of these items, I took stock of what has changed in the nearly three years since I've used the big pot and colander. I haven't binged on pasta in all that time. Didn't eat till I was stupified as I had done. I recalled how I'd limp home..in terrible pain, just to eat to excess knowing that I was only making my condition worse. So the pots are now gone, and so is the joint pain. So is 145 lbs. So is all my fat clothes. What has changed? I move normally. I fit everywhere. I'm not ashamed of my size. I can sit on the floor with my grandson and play with him. I'll be able to climb the monkey bars with him as well when he's old enough to go to the playground. I can put him on my lap as I now have one. I wear pretty clothes. I wear makeup, do my nails, hair, etc. Men notice me. One man in particular notices me and I'm very happy with him so far. I sleep in someone's arms again. Oh how I missed that. Basically, when you add up the pluses and minuses, life without eating to excess is certainly a better thing than a big bowl of spaghetti and sauce. I'll get this thing under control...I know I will. I can't ever let myself get the way I was. And with folks like me, ten pounds might as well be 110 pounds. Thank you friends for your comments. I appreciate your support..I need your support.

Welcome to the forum. I was banded in January of 2013 and this surgery literally changed my life.

Who're you seeing Lisa? I have tix for Billy Joel and The Who at The Garden next month.

So..I'm happy with the boyfriend...very happy as a matter of fact. But...the flipside is that I have gained ten pounds since we've started seeing each other. No question as to why the gain. I'm eating out more...not being as mindful as I have been, slacked off on the exercise... Shall I go on? This really must stop. It's not his doing, it's mine. I know he's going to want Chinese food tomorrow night but either I'll have to get something steamed without sauce or better still, just tell him no, we need to go or bring in something better for me. I also have to slow down the drinking. I like a glass or two of wine with dinner but since I'm eating out more, I'm also drinking more. Have to reset and get myself back under control. This is insidious..this creeping up of the weight. It's little by little, but it adds up. I just may have to speak with my surgeon about getting a small fill. Haven't needed one but maybe it's time. Will keep you all posted. As you know, I post both the good and bad so no one has an unrealistic idea of surgery, weight loss/gain, and the tediousness of mindful eating during maintenance...which I expect will last the rest of my life. 'Always vigilant' will have to be my motto. You folks keep me honest and this is part of that honesty.

Not much you can do about the loose skin. I've gotten very good at hiding mine and fortunately, my boyfriend is age appropriate for me (57) and doesn't expect physical perfection. Maybe you'll be one of the lucky ones with good genes and skin that snaps back instead of hanging.

Worst post-op memory...post-op pain. But it wasn't that bad and today I can't even recall how much pain there was. That tells me it wasn't so bad. Worst post-op fear...that this band thing wouldn't work. That I would be getting stuck and throwing up all the time. Fortunately, this was a fear that didn't come to pass. I lost all my excess weight and no stuck issues...but I have to know when to stop. One bite too many and I'm not a happy camper for sure.

jenn1 is right. Emotional eating is very hard to change without professional help. I've been seeing a therapist for quite some time in order to work on this issue along with others. You may need to consider this option as well.

No matter what you need to do to keep reminding yourself how it is/was when heavier, do it. I started my WLS journey just over 2 1/2 years ago and have been in maintenance for about a year now. I've started getting used to some of the things I can do now that I couldn't before but still can have things take me by surprise...even simple things. I was flying back to NYC on Saturday night, and without thinking, put my feet up on my carry on bag to get comfy while waiting to board the plane. Couldn't have done that even two years ago. Every step I take is a reminder of what I can do now vs. what I couldn't.

Was in a wonderful first marriage but he died. Was in a lousy second marriage and got divorced in 2003. Didn't date again till spring of last year and did so only under the auspices of my therapist who has been helping me avoid some pitfalls along the way. Got really really lucky and found a great guy about four months ago. So far, so good. Yes...take the time you need to get Mrs. Smye in the place she belongs in your head and work closely with your therapist. Good luck!

Congrats to you and your better half. I also stay on track while I'm involved in this site. It keeps me 'honest'. And as it's National Grandparents Day, here are pics of my grandchildren.

It will. I stopped wearing dresses when I saw how much I looked like my fat little grandma in them. Now I wear dresses all the time again because I look good in them. Slender calves, no big belly, no backside that sticks out like a foreign body attached to my lower back. Such a difference when one is thinner.