gowalking

FYI Ladies, we're still dating. Last night at dinner I showed him a before/after picture of myself. Told him that if this was an issue I wanted to know now and not later as we are certainly enjoying each others company. He said I was very pretty in both pictures. I know it was a nice way to tell me he wasn't concerned. So..another step forward. He still doesn't know about the surgery and we have decided to take things nice and slow so I'm in no hurry to let him know what that thing sticking out of my abdomen is. He mentioned his own 'girth' and I told him I liked a man with some meat on his bones. And it's true. I feel safe and protected with a solid man. Yes....we've discussed this a bit, me and the therapist. I am seeing that I have a type that I'm attracted to. It's no coincidence that he has similar atributes that my late husband had. So did the guy I was seeing six months ago. Reminds me of Rod Stewart. Ever see all his ex-wives? They look like they could be sisters...

You are a very lucky woman @CanyonBaby. I too had a love like that. I lost him more than 20 years ago and enough time has passed for the grief to have softened to the point where I am able to know I was truly blessed to have had him for 17 years. Our sons are grown men now and wonderful husbands and fathers. That's some legacy he left. Every time I see them interacting with their families, I know my husband has left a mark that goes on long after he passed from this world. Just know that I have great hope and faith that your husband will survive this battle and you will be able to look back on this as one more challenge you both were able to overcome. Blessings to you both. Gowalking

this made me laugh. No my dear..no change anywhere else...and yes, I lost plenty of hair on my head. I even saw scalp at one point. Doesn't seem fair, does it?

This example might help. I went to an Italian restaurant for dinner tonight. I shared my appetizer which was mozzarella/roast pepper/prosciutto. I ate about half of it...so about a quarter of the full appetizer. Then had veal parm and spaghetti. I ate about 1/4 of the veal and two spoonfulls of Pasta. Then coffee and we split a chocolate mousse cake...which I did not finish. I am now really really full. This is not alot of food..at least not alot of food before banding. It's waaayy more food that I can eat comfortably though. Now...if I want to keep eating, I'll be able to in an hour or so. That's when self control comes into play. The band is not a magic 'pill'. It's still alot of work and dedication.

I'm banded but regardless, I also could eat a whole NY bagel at one sitting...and even another half if I wanted. These days, I eat a Bagel Thin (about 120 calories) or I cut a NY bagel into thirds and eat one third only. Some of it is knowing you shouldn't eat as much as you used to...and some of it is knowing you can't. Or, if you can, you'll pay for it by being very full and uncomfortable...and maybe having to bring it all back up. It's all about portion size, and healthy choices. If I was having the type of Breakfast you eat, I'd only have the eggs and one slice of bacon. Maybe half a bagel thin...or no bread at all. Then a piece of fruit...NO bakery visits. If the craving for a sweet was really bad, I'd have a 100 calorie snack. That's what you're looking at if you have WLS. All I can tell you is that just like it says in my signature, 'nothing...and I mean NOTHING tastes as good as how I feel both physically and emotionally now that I'm a normal sized woman. Good luck!

Haven't posted a NYC picture in a while but now that the weather is nice, I'm out and about. This is the fountain at Lincoln Center. It's been updated so it's not the one you all remember from Moonstruck or even Ghostbusters. But you should recognize The Metropolitan Opera House behind it. Enjoy.

After a loss of about 100 lbs. and bilateral hip replacements, I looked at myself in the mirror and was horrified at what I saw. My lower body was badly swollen from the surgery and my skin on my face and neck especially, hung and sagged. My hair was falling out from the weight loss and trauma of two surgeries in less than one year. I went to see a therapist to help me with my issues and have been working with her for more than a year. Shortly after starting to meet with the therapist, I had to undergo yet another surgery for an unexpected health issue. I had now been through three major surgeries in a span of 12 months. Now that I am really starting to feel healthy and well, I have decided that for now, not to explore plastic surgery. My skin is loose where we are all dealing with loose skin. My upper legs are badly wrinkled, My upper arms sag, my belly skin and breasts hang and I still have a turkey neck though it's gotten better over this past year in that some elasticity has returned. Between my bonus and long term incentive payout, I have money to begin the plastic surgery process. And that is how I know I don't want to move forward with it. At least not at this time. I don't want to have more surgery right now. I don't want to recuperate, I don't want to deal with drains, compression garments, post op pain, etc. etc. I just want a break from all things medical. I knew I felt this way but last night, I was convinced. It was a nice evening last night and I decided to walk towards home after seeing a show with my sister. I knew I could grab a bus or train at any point where I got too tired to walk and I wound up feeling good enough to walk all the way home from the theater district back downtown. It was over a mile that I strolled. I know that's not much for those who walk daily but for me, it's alot. Especially as I couldn't walk a block without stopping before I lost the weight and had the hip replacements. I've learned to hide my 'flaws' well. I know now how to dress and how to use foundation garments. As far as being naked, I've also found out that men my age are not so interested in perfect bodies as they are in just sharing a bed and having someone to snuggle with. I've also realized that if someone has an issue with how my body looks, he's not the man for me anyway. I titled this post 'don't rush it' for a reason. My decision took more than a year to make. I was gung-ho for plastics right after the big weight loss but giving myself the time to get used to the new me, meant a change of heart. If you want plastics, go for it. Not my place to say one way or the other. I'm just putting my thoughts and feelings out there for those who are leaning towards leaving things as they are...at least for now.

I hear ya sister! I just divided up some chicken, meatloaf, and fish and increased to about 3.3 oz. per serving instead of being at exactly 3 oz. as If done for weight loss. I figure if I up my protein a bit, I won't look to up anything I shouldn't like carbs or even treats.

Well Sam..here's the problem with this. You are rewarding yourself by staying off the scale and eating more. I think this is a big problem we all have. Making food a good/bad thing. Yes...I know that most of us think of food as forbidden fruit. But we need to think of it as just food and not give it the power we do by making how and what we eat, the indicator of whether or not we are 'good' or 'bad'. I see it all the time...I was good this week, or I was bad this week and we always know the reference is how we ate and what the scale shows. How about instead of giving yourself permission to eat more, you just go ahead and do it...if you are hungry. And if you are not, don't eat more. I know that I am trying so hard to not make this all about the food. Not easy as I am a foodaholic but I'm trying. If I graze one day, I try not to beat myself up over it. If I know I haven't eaten mindlessly, I feel that I did well from a food perspective only. I don't try to make a big deal over it and work on making sure the day does not change based on how I'm eating. This may not be the response you were expecting or hoping for but I really do believe that for most of us, food is so wrapped up in our emotional selves that it's hard to treat it in an ambivilent way. It's one of the reasons why I see a professional every week. I need to talk about my emotional stuff rather than transfer it to how and what I eat. I'm understanding I will likely never be blasé about food but I'm trying to work on giving up all the control it has over me.

I ticked 'other' because none of the choices quite fits me. I know that I don't love to exercise but I love that I can...and do. My mobility was terribly compromised pre surgery and all I could do before was paddle around in the pool. These days I not only swim laps but I am also in the water exercise classes. I love that I have the mobility again to do these things but I don't think I'll ever be of the mind to think 'Hooray, I can't wait to get to the pool and exercise'.

Hi Karen. I know you are new to the lapband so please speak with your doctor and/or nutritionist and they will tell you as I'm telling you that you are doing amazingly well. If you don't like the scale going up and down, stay off it. There are a ton of ways to know you are doing well without ever going on the scale. How do you feel? How are your clothes fitting? Are you fitting into chairs, restaurant booths, tight spots? Are people noticing your weight loss? Can you walk faster, longer, easier? Are you not out of breath when you go up the stairs? Believe me...this is much more than numbers on a scale. Celebrate each and every day that you are following a good program and learning how to eat well and make good choices. This is not a race. You didn't gain it overnight and you won't lose it that way either. Please don't stress this. The weight loss is not a linear journey. You will go up, down, and stall at times. Just focus on continuing to do well and you will be fine.

Oh honey, I'm sorry...I meant Paris is on my bucket list...I only have a week in London and won't even get to Oxford/Stonehenge/Bath, etc. so I have to cross the Atlantic on another trip to make it to Paris. I will absolutely get there..I just don't know when. I'm hoping next year but haven't booked anything yet. Sorry again for the misunderstanding. I wish I could get to Paris this trip...

I'm getting to London next month Shel. Paris is on my list as well though I don't have a timetable just yet. But when I do get there, we'll meet up in a lovely cafe, sip on our coffees and hang out together. OK? Love ya! Hope you are doing better...I know you've hit a rough patch my friend. Liz

I think losing the weight was easy as compared to this part of the journey. Without a goal weight to strive for and the motivation of watching the numbers go down, what do I do to make sure I don't let my weight creep up? I've only been maintaining since the beginning of the year so I'm really a newbie again. I have bought all the clothes I need so shopping is no longer the motivator. I'm dating again and I know that I tend to eat emotionally and what is more emotional than dating, right? I really hope that maintenance vets are around to support me and others who are still getting used to this new way of eating. I still am reminded of how bad my mobility was when I was heavier but as the years pass, I will get used to my new normal and that's when I fear I will slip again as I've done in the past. I know I never had the band before to help me with this but I worry as the newbies worry about losing the weight. What if I can't stay successful during this phase? What if I become one of those folks who gains alot or all of it back? I'm not really looking for answers as there are none. I just need to put it out there that I have to find the strength to get me past the difficult times and always keep my eye on the prize. To me, success means that no one thinks of me as a before/after. I want everyone to think of me looking like I do now and not recall the fat me. I want the fat me to be a memory in my mind only. ..and in the few rare pictures of me at that large size. I hope to be able to post here on every bandiversary and say that everything is still going well.

Thank you for all these lovely posts. I'm so excited to be able to make this trip. My son asked me to pick up a onesie for the baby that looks like either a beefeater or London bobbie outfit. I hope I can find something.

My observation is that men seem to lose easier and faster than women. No idea if this is backed up with science or not. I bet most of your comments will be of the same ilk.

Oh gosh...how could your doctor put in the band and not give you detailed instructions on what to do and how to work with it? Shame on him/her. Yes..as terry says above, find a doctor who can explain everything you need to know. The basics regarding eating with a band is Protein first, then veggies and then carbs...if you have room for them. I always follow a Weight Watchers type of plan...3 oz. protein, 1/2 cup veggies, 1/4 cup carbs and I entered everything into a food journal like myfitnesspal so I could track my calories, sugar, sodium, fat, etc. Good luck...keep us posted.

Here's what the lapband did for me. Good luck with whichever WLS you decide to go with.

I'm on steroids for chronic back pain and was very concerned about weight gain. It hasn't happened but I understand the frustration behind weight gain when you haven't indulged.

It's just a number. Yes...I understand it's an important number, but it's still just a number. Just do what you've been doing and stay off the scale for a while. Then when you do get on it, you should be under that 300 lb. mark by a nice amount.

For me it wasn't a number reached, it was the realization that I was no longer obese. I knew last year that I was 'normal' sized and felt comfortable enough to start to date. It's a part of the process of the 'makeover'. I haven't had plastic surgery but I've gone through a makeover by wearing makeup, getting a new and younger looking hairstyle, wearing attractive clothing, and feeling pretty and confident. It doesn't happen overnight and certainly not at one time. Again...it's a process and you will know when it's time to put yourself out there. You may have some negative incidents..dating is very up and down for sure but as long as you know that you are worthy of positive attention, you will be OK. Good luck..and enjoy.

Great post @JustWatchMe. And how wonderful to have daughters who love you lots and lots.

Just wanted to post here as well Debbie. I loooove the new haircut.

The shorter haircut looks great Debbie!

The pictures are absolutely wonderful and it looks like everyone had a great time.