"You can't get mentally healthy until...

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

You are physically healthy."

I heard this statement (my paraphrase ) on a Amazon prime show called Enlightened and it gave me much much food for thought.

Those of you who know me might guess I have much to say on this as I am truly transformed by massive weight loss...but I am very interested in your thoughts!

. .. did you need to regain a degree of physical health before the emotional?

[SkinnyDown 409]

I'd have to disagree....on one level in particular. Without emotional/mental health, i.e. dealing with food addictions, reasons we got fat, why people overeat, you set yourself up for a serious disappointment when head hunger is mistaken for real hunger. I think that mental health must be addressed first, or at least in conjuction, before you can even make permanent long lasting changes physically.

I say this often, the bariatric programs do not do nearly enough with patients, in regards to mental health. That's why you see so many people on these forums saying they are starving, cheating, wanting all the food that got them fat in the first place.

Of course this is just my opinion. But I know I'd be in the same place if I had not had nearly a year of private therapy sessions twice a month to deal with my food addiction issues. Dealing with addictions is so much more intense and difficult than I ever imagined. Anyone who is obese has issues. People do not get that fat solely based on food tasting good. There's usually a hole inside, issues that have been covered up for some time ...something missing that people are trying to fill up. Again...just my opinion, doesn't have to be anyone's truth.

I really don't think that statement is fair. Especially because there are, and I know, chronically ill people, cancer patients, disabled people, people who are dying, etc. who are mentally sound, even though physically very ill.

[ocean4dlm 16]

I believe we have to hit an emotional or a physical low point to trigger an "awakening" , before true change can begin. When the physical and psychological work together, we can be most successful.

[jane13 2,256]

@@ocean4dlm - YES! I agree with you.

IMHO - Its like living in an abusive situation and until you reach that "awakening" moment you keep going back and back. If you are not REALLY ready, or awakened , you WONT change physically or psychologically.

Its like motivation, you cannot motivate someone who refuses to help themselves.As someone who has been in a management/supervisor position I determined a few years ago there are two types of people in the world:

Flushers & NON-Flushers

A flusher is the person who flushes the toilet when done (for the next person).

A NON-flusher does there business and leaves. WHY??? They feel its NOT their job, they are TOO busy, etc. They also feel that the next person can flush for them - - - - - - - - idiots.

[Dub 9,922]

"You can't get mentally healthy until..

It's impossible for me to think in absolutes when it comes to my problems with weight. And before I get started.....my comments below pertain to me. I am not projecting them on anyone else. I am not trying to offend anyone or cause them to get butthurt. This is simply my take on my own experiences. I have no desire to beat around the bush and waste time. I'm here because I want results not excuses. Balls and strikes.....no bs.

Okay, for me it never seems to be "all of one thing or another" in terms of problem sources or problem solutions.

I will say it seems to be my best times have been when I've made slight improvements in one area and leveraged that success into efforts in other areas.

My very best previous weight loss area came at time of poor mental-emotional health. It came during a very, very stressful time period. I felt intense stress on my job and unsurmountable strife in my marriage. I was struggling to meet anyone's needs, it seemed. I evaluated where I was and made the decision to GAIN CONTROL of some aspect of my life. I chose carbs & calories. I nailed this down even though things around were chaotic.

Exercise began after those first few pounds of Water weight began dropping. It steamrolled into lots of weight coming off.

The exercise had a therapeutic release of stress. The loose clothes led to new clothes which woke me up that things were better overall. Being smaller had the people around me acting pleased and happy. I had no idea how much this difference this would make in other's way of dealing with me.

I kept after it and didn't really make any mental change or growth that was on par with the physical changes. Weight came back.

It feels that this time, I'm doing small bits of both and that it's different. The structure of the bariatric program I'm in has been very beneficial. I'm not out there by myself to figure it all out.

I know from experience that I can nail down the physical health but if I don't also solve the mental riddle then the surgery itself will not offer long lasting benefits. I am not overweight because of any physical issue. I am overweight because I did not control the most basic thing I have control over......what goes in my mouth. Fixing this is paramount. The physical benefits will be lifelong if I solve this mental part. If I don't.....then I've just had surgery.....spent $$$$$ that could have been used for my family.......only to wind up worse off than before.

Edited August 6, 2015 by Dub

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Yeah, no.

Life / health / personal growth and almost every other experience we undergo as human beings is seldom that categorical or linear. Life is full of experiences so much more diverse than that misleading "First X, then Y" promise of a single cause of a single effect.

And there certainly aren't any absolutes with regard to "health." Like all other conditions and attributes of human life, "health" is a matter of degrees and a collection of attributes we get to redefine.

Because multivariate iteration.

[*Lexie* 1,486]

I can see where we might apply this to being at a healthy weight and I think it's an interesting discussion topic. Though I think you can have physical health issues (cancer, lupus, HIV, etc) and be mentally healthy and strong.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

For me it is circular and ever-changing. I HAD to put the fork down before I could make needed emotional and mental changes in my life. Once I did, my health began to improve. This improved my mood. This helped me begin exercise. This improved my mood. Etc., etc.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

Interesting topic. I would suggest that when you gain control in one area of your life, it tends to bleed over into others. For instances, Suze Orman noted that when people get control over their checkbook, they often start losing weight. A good habit does seem to jump start other good habits.

But I think I am the poster child of a person getting the mental side done first, then moving to the physical. Both were a mess five years ago, and as I got more clear mentally, I gave up smoking, WLS etc.

Moral of the story - who cares which comes first, pick one and move forward.

[gowalking 10,790]

A year after WLS and 100 lbs. down, I started seeing a therapist because I didn't know who the woman staring back at me in the mirror was. It's now a year and a half that I've been seeing the therapist and we've done lots of digging to find the root causes of the body dismorphia and why I turn to food for comfort.

I'm starting to understand some of what drives me but I'm still a work in progress. I do know that the therapist has helped me to figure out other ways of coping with stress or difficult situations without turning to food. I'm learning things about myself and I can literally feel when we've hit a bad spot and stuff comes out of me like pus from an infection. Sorry for the visual you all just got but it really is like lancing a boil sometimes.

I'm not doing therapy in order to point finger or blame anyone..I'm doing it to understand myself and what triggers me towards bad behaviors when it comes to food, and pretty much anything else. We're currently working on why I feel like a phony..like a liar now that I'm thin. Sometimes I want to wear a sign around my neck that says 'former fatty'. I feel guilty when someone notices me. These are all behaviors that can result in self sabotage if I don't find a way to deal with them.

I think we all should be in therapy. Not just us on this site, but truly everyone. Our issues and self destruction are just more noticeable than the gambler, or cheater, or thief, or alcoholic but no less impactful on quality of life.

OK...off my soapbox for now.

[Babbs 14,680]

@@VSGAnn2014

Mind. Blown.

As someone who used to volunteer for hospice many years ago, you aren't going to find many more people who have their shit together more than the dying. And they are as unhealthy (physically) as you can get.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@VSGAnn2014 multivariate iteration? Really? You have to know that only applies to females. Males are too simple and shallow to be multivariate.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

And y'all sure don't iterate.

[jess9395 5,448]

For me it's always been a spiral. Progress in one aids progress in another and the lessons are learned repeatedly at a higher level each time, cyclically. Never seems to end the growth towards health, mentally and physically.

That may sound esoteric and like gobbledygook. Trying again--I learn the same lessons over and over and how to apply them to more and more situations, refining it as I go along--and it improves my health and puts me further along my journey to be the best I can be (self actualization).