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Hello Everyone! I'm new on this and at this Blogging thing, so bare with me. I wanted to get on here and share my journey with any or all that may be interested. I am 58 years old and have had weight issues as far as I can remember. So like most of you, I have tried and FAILED at all of the other methods. Yes, I had some successes along the way, but I always managed to find every one of those pounds I lost, and then some. Sound Familiar? So, the reason I chose to have this surgery has a lot of meaning for me. It means I have a tool now that I have the power to be a true success to this method of losing weight, or I can abuse it along with myself and become a failure, AGAIN!! My choice is to succeed!! I no longer want to be in the failure's club!! So as hard as it seems, and as hard as it's been so far, I am going to make the changes in my brain that I need to make in order to accomplish my goal. I will have a few ups and downs along the way, and I have overcame a few already. My Highest Weight was - 341 (a few years ago while starting my latest diet trial - 6 week body makeover) My Weight before WLS - 326 May 8th, 2014 Weight 10 days Post Op - 309 May 19th, 2014 My weight today - 306 May 25th, 2014 My 1st Goal is to get under that 300 mark. Long term goal is to get to 160. For my height and age, I thing that would be appropriate. My height is 5' 9". The in between goals are to get completely off the Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol and Diabetes Medicine as well as having better sleep without the Mask for Sleep Apnea. I was excited to leave the hospital after surgery without one of the Blood Pressure medicines and went on a sliding scale method to take my insulin. Since surgery, I have only had to take the insulin once!! Yea!!! Anyway, I feel like things are already looking up for me as I take this journey! If any of you reading this has any words of wisdom or advice, I'd be happy to hear it! Thanks for reading my 1st Blog!!

I had to put my WLS surgery on hold again, because I discovered I have an eating disorder. It is not the two you think of when you think "Eating Disorder" it's closer to Binge Eating Disorder. That is characterized as episodes of emotional overeating, past the point of fullness. .. I'm currently undergoing treatment at Centre Syracuse for my binge eating disorder. I still know I need WLS but I also know from my research that, having an eating disorder, makes me a very poor candidate for that surgery. That doesn't mean I can't get Binge eating under control, it just might be a little - longer? Which isn't a happy prospect for me as I'm barely walking as it is now with my weight and spinal fusion. I'm in a 6 week program that will supposedly help me decrease my bingeing and focus on the reasons behind why I binge eat emotionally - while teaching me to see food not as comfort or fun or helpful emotionally (subconsciously what I've been thinking) - but as a prescription or medicine I need to keep my body healthy. How to eat in a healthy way while combating what it was that caused me not to eat healthy. This does NOT mean it will help me lose weight. I've maintained my weight the 3 weeks I've been there. The dietitians /therapists/ psychologists in the program taught me what it was like to "diet" from an evolutionary standpoint - the body doesn't 'get it", doesn't understand that it's supposed to stay at a lower weight. It's made for saving fat not getting rid of it, and they believe that it's normal to binge after periods of intense dieting because that's what your body craves. They also taught me 52% of people do not only not lose weight on diets but gain it back AND THEN SOME. This is something docs dont' want you to know - you really have no alternative if you get to a certain "set point" weight (and your brain can arbitrarily make new "set points" if your weight goes up... but not down unfortunately). WLS is one of the only ways proven in some cases to help you lose weight and keep it off - this doesn't mean it works for everyone (my research from both sides of the argument - shows about 60% of people do well with weight loss surgery long term) but for me that's a big enough number and 20% (for those that experience serious complications over their lifetime from WLS) is a small enough number for me to do the surgery. I'm not being naiive about it, I know there are serious risks and I could end up gaining all the weight back (and then some)... I saw both sides of the argument for and against WLS and with my health problems they are risks I'm willing to take. I went on websites for WLS (like this one) and many that are against. One of my good friend's mother just died from WLS a couple of months ago. I'm fairly sure she helped contribute to her problems but was it the WLS that did ultimatlely kill her? Yes. I know many who are in the hospital from WLS complications. But then I know those that did great with WLS long term as well. It's a gamble and the sad truth of it is that while there are factors under our control, it's a gamble who will do well and who won't. There just isn't the research into the long term effects yet. But people are still dying every day of obesity related illnesses. So the WLS becomes a necessity for our current epidemic. Again it's a risk I'm willing to take. But back to Binge Eating Disorder. I've found through 3 weeks of intense therapy that the causes of an eating disorder are very multifaceted. Some of them for me personally, was my traumatic upbringing, past abuse, the fact I had to "nurture" myself since a young age, and physical concerns (hormones, genetics, back and ankle surgery - physical limitations to exercise), And the program went into the 'addiction' to food caused by increased dopamine in the brain some brains react with high calorie foods. I happened to be that lucky individual in a group that does react that way. I also happen to be part of the 52% of people that actually gain all their weight back AND THEN SOME when I traditional diet (by binge eating - see description above). There's actually has a lot of medical or scientifically based reasons why it feels like I'm "Addicted" to overeating... of course there are ways to treat it. It involves intense emotional therapy, PTSD therapy, and trauma work. It also involves body image work, and individualized talk therapy with different techniques. And a new prespective about how we view food ... no more 'celebrating' with food (hey good job, want a cookie - type thing) etc. None of this will help me lose weight, it will just help me maintain my weight before and help me to not regain the weight after surgery. WLS is the only thing that is going to actually help me lose the weight - it's up to me to keep it off. Which is why I've enlisted help professionally with my eating disorder. Binge eating disorder is actually more common than Anorexia and Bulimia HOWEVER it is the least treated or talked about because of stigma surrounding it. I think that's very sad. Trying to 'get it right' the first time, and hopefully only time I need WLS. 3 more weeks in program *whew* I'm ready. Today out sick because of Obesity related issues, Urinary Tract Infection, and Diabetic Skin Rashes. But tomorrow is a new day, and going back to program.