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So... A little back information is required for this story. I’m a hairdresser (36 yrs) but first I’m a wife and mom , a great friend and up until just a few months ago a caregiver for my dad (he passed just recently) I have always been a giving person ( total pushover) NEVER put myself first and have had tremendous stress trying to get my child with autism the help he needs .. all this I ATE over, and ate and ate.. it was ma thang. I was always running around taking care of all and losing track of me along the way.. this past February 4th I had gastric by pass and I am changing so much I can’t believe it.. my self esteem is great and I am becoming the woman I have dreamed about becoming for DECADES.. this to the displeasure of a few folks who I have been there for even at the sacrifice of my own health and well being..well, their pushing back, disgruntled and perplexed as to why I will no longer cater to them and I’ve had some heated debates and tears from those who were used to having me at their beck and call.. the amazing thing is I have no guilt in putting myself first but the peanut gallery has a LOT to say about it... just this week I have been asked " Who is this new woman” it will require such changes to these friendships that it might mean walking away and choosing my self for a change.. I’m really excited and I can’t believe the freedom that comes with releasing that guilt that made me be so self destructive.. I’m not the woman I was months ago... and I’m darn glad!!!

Prior to my surgery, I had to attend one general informational session, one support group, one psychological assessment, got clearances from a heart doctor, a pulmonologist, and my PCP, and attended a 3-hour seminar on what to eat during each phase of the process. I started my pre-op diet on May 15, and follow the diet to a "T" -- twelve days of the following (no more, no less): 1 cup low-fat soup (cream or tomato) 1 cup veggies (carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, or iceberg lettuce), with optional 1-2 tbsp fat-free dressing ½ cup of each of the following: sugar-free pudding, sugar-free applesauce, fat-free yogurt, and oatmeal. 3 protein shakes 48-64 oz. water The doctor said the pre-op diet was to reduce the fat around my liver, but it had some great psychological benefits as well. I savored every bite I took, took my time to eat and enjoy it, used smaller utensils and plates. Surprisingly this filled me up, thanks to the protein shakes and yogurt. I went to a restaurant with family and ordered only water, I brought my own meals to barbecues with friends and did not cheat once. It felt very empowering! Also a bit frustrating as my friends tried to push their food on me -- "Are you sure you don't want to try this? It's really good. One bite won't mess up your diet." I sat there very happy with my soup and salad, and finally shut them up by asking if they wanted to try my delicious iceberg lettuce and cream of tomato soup. The final day of pre-op (the day before surgery) was clear liquids only. I drank a gallon+ of water, and ate about 4 sugar-free jello cups. I did go to bed hungry that night but happy to do so because I knew what was coming next. My husband and I are avid boaters with lots of friends in the boating community who we spend most evenings and weekends with. Two days before my surgery, we had 7 of my girlfriends on our boat and one of them took a group photo. There they all were looking cute in their bikinis, and there I was looking fat and frumpy in my t-shirt and jean shorts. Any nerves or qualms I felt about the surgery were instantly gone when I saw the photo. I was ready! The surgery itself on May 28 went well. It took about 2 hours, and my surgeon also repaired a hiatal hernia. I did have one problem in the recovery room. Apparently my body can't handle opioids very well, and every time I pushed the pump for more pain medicine I would fall asleep and then quit breathing. I had a dedicated nurse who was closely monitoring this. She quickly contacted my surgeon who recommended a dose of Narcan to reverse the effects of the opioids, and then ordered only manual doses of pain meds. If it weren't for the constant care of the recovery nurse, it could have been a bad situation. I spent one night in the hospital, where they encouraged me to walk the halls, and even refused to discharge me until I did so. I took and passed a second leak test the 2nd day. They sent me home with an abdominal binder (#gamechanger), a pill crusher, and prescriptions for pain, nausea, cramps, and reflux. I have 6 purple incisions on my belly -- they aren't bruised, the glue they used is purple. It feels like a scab, and will fall off on their own in 1-2 weeks. I am up and walking around, even up and down stairs, although more than about 8 minutes at a time is exhausting and painful. But each time gets easier. Tomorrow I start the puree phase of my post-op diet. Protein shakes, applesauce, pudding, cream of wheat, yogurt. Nothing with anything but a smooth consistency, so I can puree canned fruits & veggies, fish, etc. Twenty days of that, then on to soft foods. At 6 weeks I will no longer have restrictions but plan to eat most of the same (eggs, fish, lean chicken, veggies, etc.). Thanks to everyone here who have shared their stories, challenges and victories. It really has been helpful for me, and I'm sure many others.

That's freaky! 🙂

Way to go, Carrot! Setting up healthy boundaries now will ensure the new you inside and out. It has been my experience that people will see you the way they need to see you, in order to keep from seeing themselves. Best wishes and continued success with the ongoing summer house cleaning! ;]

Hello folks. I'm new to this whole fitness tracker technology. I keep hearing about how good and how handy this devices are. I would love to know more about them if anybody has any experience to share and a vote on which is best? I want something to track all my steps, calories burned, heart rate, sleeping, any movements, possible to sync with mobile phone? I've heard some play music, some show text messages and notification? Some have alarms to wake up? Really looking into getting one to fit my big wrists and to keep myself motivated and track my daily life once I have the surgery! Tnx for all your input! P.s currently looking at fit bit 3 or Samsung gear fit Pro 2

And it is Good Thing, I could have written your post but I did it even longer, 44 years with late hubby, still appeasing up until my RNY 9 months ago and like you, some want to me to return to the old Status Quo, well it will never happen, I am now Strong, resilient and under new management-ME and Only ME. Oh I still can be nice to other people but it will be on a More Adult Basis. The family Doormat has permanently retired!

I've got Fitbit Inspire HR. It has all functions of Fitbit Charge 3 but costs $50 less. It tracks everything you mentioned, including sleep. It shows texts messages, emails and notifications from my calendar. Doesn't play music. I read about it here on BP, bought 2 weeks ago and love it!

I am maintaing now. And still losing Sent from my LG-TP450 using BariatricPal mobile app

Just wishing you the best and a speedy recovery! I'm sure you will do amazing Sent from my SM-G960U using BariatricPal mobile app

I'm so sorry you're having pain. I was one of the lucky ones that didn't have any pain at all. Be sure you get your fluids in, you don't want to dehydrate and have to be hospitalized. Take care.