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So... A little back information is required for this story. I’m a hairdresser (36 yrs) but first I’m a wife and mom , a great friend and up until just a few months ago a caregiver for my dad (he passed just recently) I have always been a giving person ( total pushover) NEVER put myself first and have had tremendous stress trying to get my child with autism the help he needs .. all this I ATE over, and ate and ate.. it was ma thang. I was always running around taking care of all and losing track of me along the way.. this past February 4th I had gastric by pass and I am changing so much I can’t believe it.. my self esteem is great and I am becoming the woman I have dreamed about becoming for DECADES.. this to the displeasure of a few folks who I have been there for even at the sacrifice of my own health and well being..well, their pushing back, disgruntled and perplexed as to why I will no longer cater to them and I’ve had some heated debates and tears from those who were used to having me at their beck and call.. the amazing thing is I have no guilt in putting myself first but the peanut gallery has a LOT to say about it... just this week I have been asked " Who is this new woman” it will require such changes to these friendships that it might mean walking away and choosing my self for a change.. I’m really excited and I can’t believe the freedom that comes with releasing that guilt that made me be so self destructive.. I’m not the woman I was months ago... and I’m darn glad!!!

First post, be gentle with me... I spent Saturday reading a ton of stuff in the forums here, and now I can't find something after 3 days of trying on and off... Someone kindly posted a pic of their doc-provided, very specific exercise guidelines for each of the post-op recovery weeks/periods. It was the most helpful plan I've seen in all my clicking around the internet. If anyone knows what I'm talking about, a re-post of that sheet or a link to the thread it's in would be much appreciated. Thanks!

I have no friends in real life. I was so embarrassed about my weight that I shut people out. Now I find myself, hesitantly, seeking out others who might understand me. I'm hoping this is the first step to feeling better about myself and loving myself. To punish myself for being fat, I wear the same green dress every day, everywhere. I call it my FAT UNIFORM. I hope to retire my uniform on the day of my bypass surgery on 13 June 2018. My dietitian has offered to covert it into a blanket for her dog's bed. She insisted that symbolically I needed to discard my uniform because of what it represents/ed.

Actually, I think you KNOW the answer to this. Why? Cuz this behavior is sending alarm signals to your rational mind. And you have begun changing your standards. This behavior is aberrant to your new core values. So it is setting up a contradiction. And that always brings stress. I do not think any of us are 100% perfect. Nor do I think any of us can expect to look at food "as only fuel"--ever! LOL. Cuz it is so much more. Our gut which manufactures 90% of the seratonin in our body makes sure of that. Food is fuel, fun, pleasure, reward, punishment, security, celebration, drug. So. Much. Stuff. I also think that morale seldom improves with beatings. You just have to accept a choice, catalog it, determine whether it helped or harmed, then decide what you want to do with the next best choice. Then you shrug and move on. But you don't in my honest opinion, tell yourself that your aberrant behavior is ok. It just "is". Right? No judgement attached. And it certainly isn't a treat. Is it a treat to harm your body with a big wad of insulin? Is it a treat to alarm your pancreas by suddenly loading it with highly available sugar influx that has to be neutralized quickly? Is it a treat to alarm your brain into a binge response? I don't think so. It sounds like you don't either. But it still happens to all of us. It's human. What I do think we have to do is reframe behaviors with food. I don't know about you, but I ENJOY healthy deeply nutritious foods. It tastes great. I don't feel deprivation. So food is fuel but brings me great satisfaction now. And when I'm faced with the tortilla chips I will make lateral changes after making plans to incorporate the tortilla chips in my daily menu. I'll bring pork rinds in my purse and have 3-4 real tortilla chips, then 3-4 pork rinds with salsa, guac, or queso. No big huge cheat. Instead of a cookie, I might have a couple of squares of a Quest protein bar candy bar that I cut into 8 pieces and freeze for emergencies...or a 1/2c of Enlighten or Halo Top Ice Cream. And I don't feel guilty or tempted to carry on with the highly caloric foods. Here's a good thread you might want to check out.

Way to go, Carrot! Setting up healthy boundaries now will ensure the new you inside and out. It has been my experience that people will see you the way they need to see you, in order to keep from seeing themselves. Best wishes and continued success with the ongoing summer house cleaning! ;]

Hello folks. I'm new to this whole fitness tracker technology. I keep hearing about how good and how handy this devices are. I would love to know more about them if anybody has any experience to share and a vote on which is best? I want something to track all my steps, calories burned, heart rate, sleeping, any movements, possible to sync with mobile phone? I've heard some play music, some show text messages and notification? Some have alarms to wake up? Really looking into getting one to fit my big wrists and to keep myself motivated and track my daily life once I have the surgery! Tnx for all your input! P.s currently looking at fit bit 3 or Samsung gear fit Pro 2

And it is Good Thing, I could have written your post but I did it even longer, 44 years with late hubby, still appeasing up until my RNY 9 months ago and like you, some want to me to return to the old Status Quo, well it will never happen, I am now Strong, resilient and under new management-ME and Only ME. Oh I still can be nice to other people but it will be on a More Adult Basis. The family Doormat has permanently retired!

I've got Fitbit Inspire HR. It has all functions of Fitbit Charge 3 but costs $50 less. It tracks everything you mentioned, including sleep. It shows texts messages, emails and notifications from my calendar. Doesn't play music. I read about it here on BP, bought 2 weeks ago and love it!

Girl... Im not judging but Walmart has some CUTE dresses in their plus section this season. Ones that made me downright ANGRY that they weren't in my size... Did you miss the graduation already?

I'm so sorry you're having pain. I was one of the lucky ones that didn't have any pain at all. Be sure you get your fluids in, you don't want to dehydrate and have to be hospitalized. Take care.