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Blog 52648
 

And now, onward, to Youtube!

Wow, so much to say and so little time to say it all! So, here's what I'm going to do. My next episode of "That Crazy Fat Chick" will be all about returning to the forum and some of the issues, concerns and questions everyone has. Now,here's the thing: I tell it straight up like it is, so if that's not your cup of high protien meal replacement then don't tune in. But I have a super postive outlook and a great sense of humor, so if you wanna', look me up. In the meantime:   It's been a loooooong time since I've around. Shit happens? You know? Seriously, I've been through some horrible, work related issues: wrongful termination hearing, Lawyers, hearing officers, all that mess...it's a long and not very interesting story, so I won't bore you with the details, but I'll tell you this: When the going gets tough, I wanted to do what all fat people want to do and that's EAT! Now, notice I said "WANTED" to do, not "DID" do. No, I didn't handle the stress...and man, was there stress, by eating. Actually, I wasn't even tempted, but I knew...I knew that demon was waiting...just waiting for me to slip. The demon came to me in the earthly form of Terrence Howard and spoke to me in the voice of Sam Elliott. Demon Terrence/Sam carried a large platter covered in white chocolote, peppermint bark (my favorite) and was saying, "oooooonnnne pieeeeeece, Wendy...juuuuuuuuust one, come on, yooooooou can handle juuuusssst one can't you?"   Yeah, I didn't eat, but do you know the concept of Abraham Maslow's, Hierarchy of Needs? Well, if you don't, here he is, in a nutshell: Abe believed that humans had certain "basic" needs; (food, water, sleep and warmth.) He illustrated these needs by constructing a Pyramid model with these most important needs at the bottom and broadest part of the pyramid. At the upper portion of the pyramid were things like, security of employment, friends, family, and self actualization. He believed that if humans did not have their very 'basic" needs met then they could move on to other needs. So, if you're freezing and starving to death, you can't really deal with the fact that you haven't had a bath in a month. And yes, I'm going somewhere with this.   SO...from this philosophy, I adopted my own,"Wendy's Hierarchy of Food Addiction Needs Pyramid. It's very simple: When my life is teetering on going straight into the crapper and I'm SUPER STRESSED, it's all I can to to make sure that I stay "food sober" and don't eat. The not binging thing takes up the entire lower half of my Pyramid, so can't really focus on fun, friends or blogging...just trying to hang on. Make sense?   And I did hang on, and one the first day of my hearing I can tell you I was the hottest Bitch in that courtroom. And, hey, win. lose or draw, it's all about being in a size 8, baby! But seriously, I can remember my mom saying, "You have the idea that if you're thin, your life will be perfect." She wasn't right, of course, but she almost was. I don't feel like being thin makes my life perfect, but I do feel like if I can manage my food addiction, monster of an albatross that I've carried around my neck for most of my life, then anything else is a walk in the park.   Do what you have to do and kick your albatross's ass, baby!   Kisses, W      
wendytip

wendytip

1
feedyoureye's Blog
 

Last appointment 6 days before surgery

Here is what I did on my last surgeons visit day 6 days before surgery.   --I met with the before surgery nurse,   She checked my meds, went over the steps I would have to take to get to the surgery. Talked about the self injected blood thinner I would have to take for a while and gave me some booklets on how to inject myself and the lists and maps of where I would have to go during the day and the day of surgery.   --a "fellow" (Dr intern),   went over the consent form contract for the surgery and had me sign it. Got my copy. Asked him if the center ever did sleeves... he said yes, that he had assisted on 5 himself and there were many other interns that were assisting at other times. He said that the bypass takes a ton of skill, and not just anyone can do it, they do a bunch of bypasses and have for years, he said the sleeve just needs someone who knows how to do it. I asked if I could have a copy of my surgery recording... and he said no, it was a liability for them. I asked him what Bougie size the Dr used and he said of all the questions anyone has ever asked, no one has ever asked that one. He said they use a 36 and staple it loose. He said they hand stitch the staple line or sometimes us a robot to stitch. There is no advantage they have found to one or the other. The surgery is 3 1/2 -4 hours long. I said that seemed long, and he said Teaching Universities are in no hurry. There is plenty of time taken for surgery, no need to rush. The hand stitching takes a long time. I asked him why I heard so little about the sleeve before my first meeting with a Dr. He said that California is way behind the east coast as far as sleeves go, not because the Drs skill or desire, but the insurance here is so screwed up that it has been excluded until recently by most insurance companies. He said he worked doing sleeves for three years on the east coast before coming here to California.   --a research representative,   asked me to agree to be part of an ongoing study of WLS as part of them keeping their "Center of Excellence" status. The want to do followups for 5+ years if possible. I signed that.   --the during and after surgery head nurse, Anne.   She went over much of the same stuff as the before surgery nurse, and we chatted about travel, and how 50 is the new 40. She wrote me a note to give to my work saying I need 6 WEEKS! off to recover. Ouch, I have sick pay/time saved up for 3 weeks, and one staff at work is going to try and give me some of hers... well see....She said the Dr (Ali) was at a meeting and couldn't see me that day, but he would see me on the day of the surgery. She decided what my med schedule would be before and after the surgery. She put a list into the pharmacy for the dissolvable meds I would need. She did a short physical to access my state for surgery, checked my heart, reflexes, flexibility and asked questions about arthritis and such.   -- the Lab for blood work and a pregnancy test, and then   I went next door and got my blood and urine done. They need a pregnancy test. I told the lab tech that if I was pregnant then she was witness to a miracle. (being menopausal) They took about 6 tubes for testing.   --the surgeon   I went back to the office to pick up my letter for work, and the after surgery nurse grabbed me and said the Dr was back and wanted to talk to me. I went in and had a nice 20 minute visit with him. He was really nice, and personable. I asked him about the bougie size and he asked me why I wanted to know, and i told him about wanting good restriction and not to leave much of the stomach that stretches out more. He said all the parts are stretchy. He said they use a 36. I asked them about the loose cut, and he said it has to be loose because they stitch the whole thing and the extra room is to do that. He also leaves a little bit extra by the pylorus end to avoid complications that sometime happen there. He said that even people that have a 60 bougie lose weight, that the main reason for people gaining weight is their own actions, not the size of the bougie. You have to make changes in how and what you eat for the surgery to be a success. He also warned that it is his opinion that more people will gain weight back from the sleeve than RNY. Even though the long term results are not in yet. I asked him if he thought the people who gain back weight do it more because they eat around the sleeve, or because the sleeve stretches out, and he said they are related, and the people who gain weight back are more likely to look for some outside reason for it than how they eat and exercise. Those who follow the plan and exercise into the future lose the weight and keep most of it off. He talked about leaks, and nausea. He said that nausea is the most common complication. It can last one day to months. In the case of months, some people need to be fed by IV. 20% of his patients have some amount of nausea. There are meds for nausea. He said he thought I would be a good candidate and believed I could find success with the sleeve. I asked him why I didn't see or hear anything about the sleeve in his lecture or literature, and he said that until recently the sleeve was not covered by insurance in California and so he didn't bring it up as a choice.   --the anesthesiology offices.   They checked my meds, asked again about allergies and such.   About a 5 hour day.         They will call me friday to let me know when I need to go in for surgery on tuesday. The day of surgery will be about 8 hours of check in, wait, surgery, recovery and to the room. They expect I will be in over night, there will be a leak test the next day. If all looks well, I can go home the next day. They want to see that I don't have a lot of nausea before I go home and will keep me an extra day if need be.         There ya go. The rundown as well as I remember it.   More later!    
feedyoureye

feedyoureye

1
feedyoureye's Blog
 

satisfaction

This is all very interesting. I know there are times... LOTS of times that if I listen to what my body wants, I eat too much, and of the wrong things. Now maybe this is not my body talking, its my head, but really they are connected at the neck, and have something to do with each other. I have spent quite a bit of time analyzing the cause and effect of what I eat - to how I feel... and I find that when I eat some kinds of food I may generally love how they taste, and like putting them in my mouth, and like the immediate feeling it produces... through my shoulders and chest of all places, but what is missing is satisfaction. I'm not talking about feeling full. There is something I am looking for that I don't usually get from food...satisfaction. Like, Im finished now. I feel fine, I got the energy from the food now... or something like that. Perhaps this is partly what people call emotional eating. I think emotions may be part of the picture sometimes for me, but not always. The satisfaction I crave feels more physical. When I really look close at the/my overeating experience, this is missing almost all the time. I realize I don't really like the taste of the food that much... the taste is not enough for me to be satisfied. Its like I'm not getting the basic nutrition I crave or something. Now I think this is where the addiction label comes into the picture. That craving for satisfaction. I just look for it in the food over and over again. Some types of food really heighten this experience...you all know what they are.... refined carbs... sugar, the "whites" High Fructose.... Its not the fats, its not the protein, its not even the whole grains and carbby vegs in moderation. The only time I get satisfied, is when I cut them out. And I need to cut them out for at least 3 weeks before I feel the satisfaction creep in. When I do this, then the size of the meal goes down, and the pounds start to slide off, and I can start to trust what my body/head asks for. However I make myself eat protein snacks even then, because if I let myself get too hungry, the chance of the old habits to reach for the easy donut are a little easier, and I just don't want to go there and start the cycle again.
feedyoureye

feedyoureye

0
Dave's Blog
 

Pre op DIEt and me!

Starting my pre op diet a l ittle early. I'ts tough for me because i'm at work, I work on a oil drilling rig for 3 weeks at a time, but this time it is 4 weeks because of my surgery date, i needed extra time for healing. The tough part is, you guessed it, FOOD!!! I'ts everywhere! everything you've heard about the food here is TRUE! its good, hot, and plenty of it, whenever you want it!. It's like living at a Buffet, its free and always open! so, i endeavor to have my 2 protein shakes and 3oz. of meat a day.... good news is one of the guys out here had the sleeve a few months back, So he is my support group here(and all of you here on VST!)   on another note, i noticed when i turned 40, it was like a switch was thrown, eyesight went to hell,and weight loss was VERY difficult. anyone else?   I will post more up as it hits me. P.S. research everything!!! reach out to the people here and of you have a local support group ...do it! they are Just like you and i looking for answers and talking about the things polite society shuns...obesity. thanks for reading... Dave from South Texas
dcoates

dcoates

0
Dave's Blog
 

First entry

Hello, I'm dave, 46, 5'11" and i weighed 305 at my heaviest. I started my journey to wellness sometime in November 2010, i had another Dr visit for my 3 mo. BP checkup, Dr says i'm killing myself, and recommended WLS. Bad back,HBP,Cholesterol,borderline diabetic, and just plain lethargic i have it all. now afyer jumping thru all the hoops, i'm scheduled for sleeving Feb.2 2011   I intend for this to be a journal of day to day ramblings on my journey through the processes and thoughts of my weight loss. Happy weight loss everyone! Dave
dcoates

dcoates

0
marykay82's Blog
 

1/15/11 - continued

Went over to Curves. They did my measurements and weight, showed me how to use the circuit, and got my free week started. I think I really like it. I can get the student discount and go for $29 a month. Not to shabby. So thanks to Curves, I didn't / don't need to buy a measuring tape.   As of today: Weight - 273 Resting Heart Rate: 88 Bust: 49 Waist: 45 Abdomen: 48 Hips: 56 Thighs: 32 Arms: 20 Body Fat %: 47.4 BMI: 45.4   I can't remember if I mentioned before, but I loaded LiveStrong to the Iphone and have been tracking my food and exercise all day. Awesome app - and it was free.   Calories Consumed: 1,951 Calories Burned: 621 (Curves plus walking) Protein: 50g H2O: Not sure, a ton, something like 4 Shakespeare's cups so probably 6-8 8oz cups, 48-64oz, lets just say my pee is extremely pale - so good.   Also just got back from Wal-Mart. Bought lots of good food choices (and a few bad so I don't feel deprived - changing in steps here). I also bought a good multivitamin and calcium chews. Can't wait to see how they affect me - no sarcasm here, really. looking for improvements in hair, nails, skin, and over all feeling better.
marykay82

marykay82

0
petiteT's Blog
 

Heartburn

Not sure if its heartburn or reflux dr put me on pill to relax it. Wasn't sure if it was because of tube they put down your throat or if they blow air in their during surgery or just completely full! That Ive had since I woke up in recovery is the worst of it. So so far not to bad
TKeith

TKeith

0
petiteT's Blog
 

Day 6 post surgery

Up date on how Im doing. I stayed at hospital 2 nights not much sleep they come every couple hours. I Lost 10lbs pre surgery. I think I'm down about 5lbs in 6 days. Was told not to weigh self yet still Swollen. I'm slowly getting of pain medication. The most Pain is my back for some reason. Must be from sitting and laying around. Its real hard to get in my protein and liquids, I feel so FULL! I hope that gets better soon don't like that feeling at all. I have not gotten sick so thats good. I want my stomach to heal so being very careful. Cant wait to get moving again and start losing.
TKeith

TKeith

0
Mrsrusso's Blog
 

A TRUE JOURNEY AND A REBIRTH

So it has been amost 5 months since I had my VGS surgery. and i am down 82 lbs. May 2010 I was at my heaviest 277lbs... eww I know. Aug 2010 before my surgery I was 265lbs...still a big number. Oct 2010 I was down 32.4 lbs Nov 2010 i was down another 24lbs Dec 2010-Jan 2011 I aam down another 24.8 lbs. I feel so alive and free. I have no problems breathing when I walk for a long time. I'm full of energy and I honestly haven't been working out. Just all the running around I do all day long has definetly paid off. But I plan to start working out asap to tighten my abs and arms. The only NEGATIVE thing I have to say about my surgery is that I am losing my hair. My hair seems to be thinning. And I do not believe I am getting the right amount of protein. I will have to work on that. Next doctor Appointment is mid February 2011 and I can not wait until I find out how much more I have lost.   My doctor is THE BEST doctor ever, his name is: DR. ALEX GANDSAS 42 EAST LAUREL ROAD STRATFORD, NJ 08084 856-566-2700. www.alexgandsas.com ** Yes he does accept medicaid and medicare**    
Mrsrusso

Mrsrusso

1
Trans4mation
 

The Truth About My Weight Problem

Thought I shared with you all what I wrote on Facebook in early December 2010.   So I knew that I would have to write about this topic. I mean it was one of the topics that I put on a piece of paper and placed in the envelope. I just didn’t expect to pull it out first. While I could ramble on and on to avoid writing the first line. But I know my story is not the only one. I know it’s a secret that many people struggle with…alone… in the dark. Okay, I’m doing it. I am avoiding writing the first line. A line that will help me and so many others begin to heal…   I was molested when I was a child.   There I said it. I was molested for almost three years of my life by my mother best friend Kathy’s son Larry. I remember everything like it was yesterday. His smell. His voice. His touch. The shame and pain of it all. Now, as a mother of a daughter I can’t even imagine…   The Beginning   I was almost 7. Almost Seven years old when I was robbed of my innocence. We would spend quite a bit of time at Kathy’s house. My mama was a hard worker. It didn’t start out as one would think. Larry WAS nice. He helped us with our homework. He always let us hold his Game Boy. I mean he looked normal.   When it first started, I pretended to be sleep. Even as I type, I want to crawl into a hole and cry. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t try anything too far. He came into the room and fondled me for what seemed like an eternity. Then he gave me a sour apple grape Blow Pop. Till this day I hate grape anything.   I was confused. I didn’t know what was wrong or right. My mother had talk to me about strangers and all the terrible things strangers could do. But Larry wasn’t a stranger. He was my mom’s best friend son. He ate dinner with us. He knew my family. He was Larry.   The Middle   I will never forget the first night he actually penetrated me. I was 8. It was so quite in the house that night. Across the room slept Cierra (his sister and my then best friend). I thought if Ii pretended to sleep, he would stop and go away. The room was dark, but the streetlight outside gave it some glow. I squeezed my eyes closed and murmured “please.” He whispered to me, "if you move I will kill you." So I stayed very still. I didn’t cry. I didn’t move. I just laid there looking at the light coming through the window.   I can’t remember how long it lasted, but I still remember the door creaking open when he left and then sounds in the kitchen. I cried so quietly that night. I don’t remember falling asleep, but when I woke up he was asking me did I want some King Vitamin. Till this day I hate King Vitamin. When my mom came to get us, I wanted to tell her everything. “Hey Aunt Toni” he said when she came through the door. She hugged him. Laughed with Kathy and we left.   I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t want to die. Then the next weekend… almost every weekend…for more than a year it happened. I always wanted to say something. But I was confused. It’s not like he was mean to me. I mean he would buy me candy. He would tell me I’m pretty. And I just assumed that it was normal. He was normal.   It progressively got worst over the years. And not only would he threaten to kill me. He would threaten to kill my mommy and my brother. So I stayed quite.   The End   Over the course of the molestation, I gained A LOT of weight. In Larry and Chris (his brother [Chris NEVER touched me]) room was what seemed like hundreds of poster of skinny women wearing bikinis. I figured if I was fat, then he would not want me. Would not bother me. Would leave me alone. I ate and ate. I always laughed though. I learned at an early age that being funny was my talent. It was all I could do to make friends (at my size) and I learned no one asked questions when you smiled. I use to think why couldn’t anyone see through façade to my pain.   I don’t blame my mother at all. She was doing all she could do to support us. She trusted Kathy’s kids like her own. I never did tell her… she told me.   When I was in the 4th grade, Kathy died. And while I missed Kathy, I was so happy that we never had to go over there again. I just still didn’t have enough courage to tell her because he was not dead. One night my mom, C-lo, my brother, and myself was watching a movie called “I Know My First Name is Steven.” It’s about a boy who was kidnapped and molested all most of his life.   I cried and cried and cried almost the whole movie. I told my mom I was afraid that it would happen to my brother. I lied.   A couple of days later when I came home from school, my mom was sitting in the living room crying. C-lo (my “step” dad) was there. She told me she had a dream that afternoon and Kathy came to her in her dream and asked her to ask me “if Larry ever touched me.” I didn’t know what to say. The tears in her eyes showed so much pain. I shook my head yes and my mom grabbed me so tight that day. She sobbed and apologized for what seemed like hours.   I told her it wasn’t her fault, but I don’t think she ever forgave herself. She called my uncles and they came over. I told them the whole story. We all cried. Then called the police. When Kathy died, Rico and Cierra moved in with Larry. When the police went to arrest Larry, he wasn’t home. He never came home. We learned that he molested his sister Cierra too. She knew I was being molested. She would see him come into the room.   She apologized to me. But she said she was just happy when I came over because then he wouldn’t bother her. I wasn’t mad with her. I felt very said for her. Even though my situation was bad on the weekend, she lived with him every day.   I never saw Cierra after that day. Never heard the name Larry again.   The Beginning   Learning to love myself has not been an easy battle. My weight is something I still haven’t gotten under control. There are other periods in my life where I was sexually assaulted. So I think a piece of me wants to believe that the bigger I get the more I’ll fade into the background. I feel like staying 270 pounds will make me less of a target and safer. I know it sounds xrazy but you never see any FAT people as victims in SVU. I am trying to tell myself to stop thinking like that but its hard.   While this surgery will change my outter shell, but I have to learn to love the inner me. Slowly I am.   What have I learned? With my own daughter I will let her know no matter what she can come to me. Even though it was the lesson my told me, the fear was greater. And while I DO NOT blame her, I wish there was multiple points before Kathy’s death where she would have asked. I will teach Ja’Nya about ALL people and trust ALMOST no one and don;t use food as a coping mechanism.   Some Facts   I know I am not the only one out there who is dealing with a secret like this. Parents take the time to educate yourself and your children about uncomfortable topics like this. Here are some facts to help you understand this silent epidemic:   One of the myths regarding child molesters is that they “look different” or behave differently from others in some way. Here are some statistics describing child molesters: 97% are male 91% are heterosexual 91% consider themselves to be religious 48% are college educated The molester is not a stranger. Over 91% of children are molested by someone they know. Almost 8% of African American men admit to molesting a child
ATLGirl

ATLGirl

2
Jen11's Blog
 

4 days to go and I'm dehydrated..

I'm on day 8 of 10 day liquid protein diet. Surprising I'm doing really good mentally with it. It hasn't bothered me like I thought it would. I'm really proud of myself. I went to my normal dr. yesterday morning for my pre-op checkup and he did some blood work to check a few things. When I got home from work I had a message to call in. My blood work showed that I was dehydrated. I need to drink lots of extra fluids this weekend and go back in on Monday to have it re-checked. How can I be dehydrated when I'm only drinking all day long? I guess that might explain why some mornings I feel a little light headed and strange. Anyone else have this issue before the surgery?
Jen11

Jen11

3
Rachel Banded...
 

Day 3... I think I am going to cry...

Today I have not slept. My mind is overwhelmed. I try to stay positive but my every thoughts and feelings has been over this decision. I am constantly fighting either hunger, nausea, or just plain irritation. This morning I went to the grocery store on my way home from work to get more salad stuff. I got my walking exercise in just by walking around trying to find something that I could eat that was low carb low calorie low fat. I think I am going to have to tattoo that on my ass. 24/7 all I manage to think about is what I am going to eat how to space out my vitamins so the calcium and iron don't fight each other. I pray this gets better. I know its crazy for this to be day 3 and I am already going insane but its also do to a lot of other personal reasons as well. I really thought I would loose it when my husband made a comment "Your starving me I don't want to eat anything because you can't." Then last night he slipped and when I told him I was hungry he said "your doing it to yourself." I wanted to find the nearest dark room and lay down and cry myself to sleep. I know he was only joking but it was either cry or scream thankfully I did not do either. I am not unhappy over the dieting that fine with me I LOVE salads and veggies and things like that but the grainy sweet protein mixes are awful. It's the constant worrying and wondering if I am doing this right or if I am making the right decision. Like I said my brain is lap band... Lap Band.... LAP BAND... 24/7. But then again I guess it should be. This is about me is it not? This is one of the most important decision or optional thing I have done. I should be focused as I am and making this the importance in my life right now. It is just frustrating. It's not just the preop diet this has been my focus for the past year of my life and now that it is so close to time I am just having some emotional moments. I just don't think anyone understands how emotional this process is unless they have been there. LBT has become my resource, my best friend, my comforter. I come here to vent, learn, and yes cry. I don't want to tell anyone else how hard this is because they all look at it as this is "your choice" type thing. So I smile and continue to be positive and run to my nearest computer and bury myself in forum after forum seeking confidence and reassurance from complete and total strangers that have become my best friends in this process. Thank you to those I do keep in contact with in message after message venting my feelings and listening to yours. After all these years and never thinking about myself and always tending to others it is hard and overwhelming to constantly think about yourself. I feel guilty. I feel like I am being selfish and neglecting others. I feel as if I am standing in a crowded room screaming my head off and no one even looks up. Am I alone in being this emotional? Maybe it is just the lack of sleep... maybe it is the thousands of other problems going on right now. Maybe I just need to take a deep breath and keep reminding myself why I am doing this. I will not let this defeat nor define me.
~*~Rachel~*~

~*~Rachel~*~

10
The Journey of a Lifetime
 

First entry

I have been lurking and commenting on some posts here on Vertical Sleeve Talk for 2 days now. I think it is time to get real with myself and explain everything that has been going on.   I am a 45 year old woman. I have been married for 14 years. I have also been overweight - morbidly so all my adult life. I had my daughter in 1986 and after that my weight just kept going up and up. My heaviest weight I ever have been was 302. That scared the living daylights out of me. I am only 5'6 and carrying that much weight is not good. When I first began thinking about WLS I was looking for a magic bullet. Something I would not have to work hard to acheive but would just take the weight off. I now know that is not possible or reasonable. It took me 25 years to put on this weight, it is not going to come off easily. I have cried many nights because I can not stand looking in the mirror, having my picture taken, or have my husband even look at me for fear I will disgust him.   I have fought depression, hypothyroidism, osteoarthritis, diabetes, night cramps, cancer and high cholestrol. I am still here. I am still living. It is now time to take charge and lose this weight.   I will begin at the beginning. When I was a teenager, like everyone, I weighed 117 to 120. I looked pretty damned hot. I met the wrong boy, got pregnant, and he wanted nothing to do with me or our baby. I was 19 years old. Having been brought up in the church I was very ashamed of myself for getting into this situation. I fell in the a depression that lasted for over 20 years. I was surviving not living. My family, friends and church members were all very supportive of me during this time. I had my daughter and we were accepted by everyone. If anyone ever had a problem with me they never let me know. This support system did help but it did not alleviate the shame I felt.   I was living at home with my mother. I met a man who had 2 daughters and after a hasty courtship, we were married. I was stupid for I did not get to know him as well as I should. The first year was fine. We had a happy marriage. But I soon began to realize that I married him for all the wrong reasons. Again, my regiously beliefs kept me in my marriage because I made this decision and I had to stick with it. My ex-husband had many issues from his childhood that he had never worked out, and became apparent soon after our marriage began. Of course I wanted to try and help him. Once I realized I was unable to, my depression grew deeper. I began to eat to stuff my feelings. I was deeply unhappy. I could not stand to allow this man to touch me. And only when he became verbally abusive to me and my daughter did I do something and got out of the marriage. I began to research my options, where I could go for help, finding a place to rent for the two of us, and how much money I would require for all this. Finally the day came for me to take charge and make him leave. I did just that. It was like having a weight being lifted from my shoulders and I could breath again. Interestingly enough, I lost like 45 pounds right after that. I had no desire to eat, I was active, I decided to go back to school, I was feeling pretty good about my life.   I soon became lonely and wanted someone to share my life with. Having grown up in the church I began to pray. I pray God would send me the person I was to spend my life with, and within a month, I met my new husband. My husband lived in Canada. I lived in Oklahoma. How did this happen you might ask, well, we met via the internet when it was brand new. We met in 1994. We were members of the same forum, and we began to write (email) each other as friends. He was dating - I was dating, and well our feelings for each other grew. Neither one of us was REALLY looking for a long distance relationship, but God works in mysterious ways. He brought me my husband and I was not going to allow him to slip away. 16 years later, here we are. Married, happy and now about to face yet another challenge with my WLS. My DH is very supportive of my decision. He attends all my appointments with me. He asks questions so he is well informed what to expect. He is helping with the pre-surgery diet. For my birthday he paid for me to start belly dancing classes on Jan 19, 2011. I am very excited about that.   (I will write another entry to go over all the challenges and difficulties we faces through out our marriage for there were many. Most which contributed to my depression even further. )   When I first started to comtemplating have WLS, I was researching LapBand surgery. For many reasons but mainly because it was the least envasive and totally reversable. I was referred and accepted into a program my province was sponsoring where they would allow so many people have the LapBand and all the different services paid for by the province. I went through everything they offered only to be devastated when I heard due to financial reason's they were discontinuing the program. I was very upset. I did not allow that to stop me however. I again prayed to God to show me the way. To help me figure out a safe reliable way to lose this weight. One thing I have not told you is I work in an outpatient clinic that helps people who live with Parkinson's Diease. I am the secretary and I open all the incoming mail. One day I opened one of the physicians mail and found a weight loss pamphlet for a local doctor that was a self referral. So I called to find out what the clinic offered. I even made an appointment to go meet the doctor. After meeting them and hearing what their clinic offered, I realized it was not for me. I had informed them I was mainly interested in the Lapband surgery and was hoping they would be able to help me with that aspect. The doctor then told me about a surgeon who offeres WLS and is very hard to get into. He only accepts referrals one day a year and only the first 200 referrals get in. This doctor offered to make a referral for me to this surgeon. I said thank you and pretty much forgot about it. I then received a call some time later asking me to come to the clinic because the doctor was getting ready to make the referrals and wanted to meet with me again to make sure I was still interested. So, for me out of the blue this opportunity came. My prayers were answered once again.   I had to weight to meet the surgeon for about 11 months (which was shorter than I thought I would have to wait). I have had my first appointment with Dr. Lawrence Farries on November 30, 2011. I went in totally set on getting the LapBand surgery. I had gone through so many classes and seminars I knew the surgery backwards and forwards, so I thought. In my first meeting, I was asked to watch a little video that explained all the WLS options, all the pros and cons, what to expect with each surgery. After viewing this video, my mind changed. They stated that with the Lapband surgery you had to be very diligent in dieting for it to work. You had to account for everything you placed in your mouth and make sure it is the exact right thing. I know myself, I know I am not dedicated. When I heard about the VGS, I felt like almost coming home. It felt like the exact right thing I needed. When I discussed this with the surgeon, he agreed with me that it was the correct surgery for me. He then put me on a pre-surgery diet. 1 cup of food 3 times a day. No soda pop, no caffeinated drinks, only skim milk. I now drink only water. I have been able to stick to my 1 cup 3 times a day and lost 21 pounds in one month.   I have had to have a Endoscopy to check my GI tract. I have to have a pyschiatric evaluation which is coming up soon. and once those two things are clear, I will have a surgery date. I am not nervous about the surgery and the after diet or any of the possible complications, what I was nervous about was the Endoscopy. I had this done yesterday (Jan 14, 2011). I informed everyone I could I have a very bad gag reflex, and was told I would be asleep and would not remember anything and a spray would be giving to help numb my throat. Well, I don't remember anything about the scope however I did gag while I do not remember I gagged, I now have the sore throat to prove I did gag. I can not talk very loud at the moment (which might be a good thing for my husband ) and I can't eat anything that is very scratchy because I am having a hard time swallowing anything. Although I am sure everything went okay I am nervous I might have to go through that again. I don't know why I just have this fear that due to my retching it impeded the surgeon from getting all the information he needed to get.   So that is where I am, I am waiting for my pysch eval, I have another appointment at the surgeon's office on Feb 8 and then I am hoping I will get my surgery date. My fingers are crossed for sometime in June/July. Please send good vibes.   That is it for now. I will send another blog about the craze early days of my 2nd marriage.   Sheila  
Sheila

Sheila

1
Blog 86799
 

Goalllllllllllllllllllllllll!!! (a long overdue update!)

Hello Band-land!!   It's been FOREVER since I've checked in. I didn't wanna get outsted by the forum power's that be since I decided to go with the vertical sleeve. BUT, I did promise to touch bases, since i met some amazing people during my stay here. The short update: I had surgery on 9/21 and am down about 65#. I'm feeling great, and looking pretty great too! I've gone from a sz 22/24, to a 16/18...and my knees, hips & back are thanking me!   To keep it light, I'll post one of my recent updates from my VSG forum, along with the link to my full weightloss journey blog (http://vanishingvixen.wordpress.com). I hope everyone is doing well!! also, if you wish to stay in touch - you can email me here: geenahb2@yahoo.com   The below post is from 1/7/10 - and I've lost 6# more since then   -------------------------------------------------------------------   I know, I know. It’s been toooo long since I’ve updated. We’ll just blame it on life. The last couple of months of 2010 were a dooozy. I was so glad to kick that year in the arse on the way out the door into 2011. *sheesh* Praying for a much smoother ride this year – though all things considered: at least I got my health on track.   about 3 mnths post-op. down 55#   Sooo, where were we? Oh yeah. Arm flaps n’such. (read about it here)I’m over it. Sorta-kinda. I figure, why worry? Besides, I got a shake weight for Christmas. Might seem like a gimmick, but it’s doing something. I feel it! I won’t even talk about the rapidly depleting “fun-bags”. I’m greatful I still have significant cuppage – even if it is on the count of them being so longgggg. By the time I scoop the slinky’s up into one of my FAB new over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders from Lane Bryant, I still have an ample bosom. *cheeze* I have also noticed that my build-a-booty exercises are working better than I expected. That, and a nice proper fitting pair of slacks makes me look Beyonce-bootylicious (even if HERS is fake).   Speaking of slacks – I’m in a size 18 now. CANUFRIGGENBELIEVEIT?? At my biggest (in August) I was a sz 22/24. I’m now about 60# down (give or take, depending on the day), and its still somehow lost on me. Yeah, I get that its gonna take awhile for my old brain to catch up to my new body, but I feel like in some weird parallel universe at times. I mean – is “this” really…ME?   The last time I saw 250# was over 10 years ago. And now, I’m only 51# away from my first super big goal of getting UNDER 200#. I’m on my way to ONE-derland, baybee!!! Though, I guess me hitting 50# was worth some fanfare – I just kinda…forgot. *shrug*   People ask me a lot how I feel. Well, most days, I feel pretty good. I’m pretty much back to “normal”. With the exception of raw veggies/salads (and I’m craving a ceasar salad something fierce). The nausea/vomitting has subsided. And my knees and back/hips are thanking me. I’m more active in terms of walking when I can, takig the steps when I can, dancing when I can, and doing my lil mini-workouts in the bedroom. Really, its been going pretty well. I’m rather proud of myself, even if what I’m doing is minimal at the moment.   the new 'do   HOWEVER, due to the drastic change in nutrition/lack of protein in the first couple months…my hair started falling out. BIG time. In CLUMPS. My big beautiful fro is no more. *sadface* At first, I went with rockin drawstring pontails for a minute, but I just didn’t feel like…ME. So, on Christmas, I cut my hair off. I figured I rather have short, vibrant, healthy hair.. then longer/bigger patchy hair. So I’m going to keep it short for the next 9 months or so until I can get my protein & everything where it should be. Maintain my fiery crown of red (with the help of Clairol textures-n-tones “Flaming Desire”), however short, and rock on…   I will say one last thing – the weightloss surgery was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Rough start aside, it gets easier every day. I’m making much better food choices, which means I still get to enjoy the things I love on occasion (cupcake, anyone? Well, in my case 1/2 a cupcake *lol*). I’m even rather fond of green veggies. Who woulda thunk it!?   I do still feel guilty when folks give accolades of “keep up the good work” b/c I don’t feel like I’m doing much to earn that. But, if deciding to actually “do” something about my weight & health (surgery or no)…well I guess that counts for something!   Thanks to all who have continued to support, encourage, and drool.   Think I’m lookin hawt now? Just *weight* until the summer   almost halfway there! Surgery Date: 9/21/10 Dr. D. Halmi - Potomac Hosp. - Woodbridge, VA http://vanishingvixen.wordpress.com     A
vanishingvixen

vanishingvixen

3
hav2byit's Blog
 

Having Problems Sleeping

Hi, I am not new to lapband surgery. I had my band done 3 yrs ago, 1/18/08. I have lost 130 lbs so far & continue to loose at a slower rate now. My Doctor is Dr. Tang he is cheaf of surgery at Mt View Hospital here in Las Vegas. I love him!!!   I do have a question for long time banders. Are you having any trouble sleeping??? Not sleep aptnia, but trouble staying asleep. I am only getting about 3-5 hrs a night even with the sleeping pills my Doctor has given me! I have tried everything & nothing is working. Yesterday a Chiropractor said that lapband patience have trouble with sleep & to look it up. So if any of you have a problem like this could you let me know??? Thanks so much
ihav2buyit

ihav2buyit

0
Blog 45533
 

It's been a while

It has been over a year since I blogged? wow, I cannot believe it. I am holding up okay, right at 165-168. I do need to loose more, but I have not really been working at it. I have had another issue, come up and I just want to talk about it a litte. I have been drinking wayyy too much. I used to be someone who could have 1/2 glass of wine and throw it away because I just didn't want anymore.   I guess I have a cross additction. I have been searching the internet about the topic and apparently it is more prevelant than I thought. I thought I was the only one. I am relieved that I am not. It started in 2009, I think. I would buy some 2.5 buck chuck from Trader Joes. It went down so easy and tasted so good, I just kept buying it, by the caseload! I knew something was not right, but I could not stop and it continued. I really noticed that I had been drinking at least one bottle of wine in December of 2009. I could not remember a day when I did not have anything to drink, crazy, right? I could go one or two days without drinking. But not a week and not a month. I would say to myself (just like the diets) "okay as of the first of the month, I am not going to drink or I am not going to drink until my next vacation. Well, that would never happen. I would keep drinking and drinking. I have now become an alcoholic, which is a bad thing, but the great thing is I was able to go to a meeting yesterday and with the help of AA, I hope to have a sober life. I am taking it one day at a time. I am sharing this because if you are having the same issues, weather it be alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, etc. I want you to know that you are not alone and can contact me at anytime, for support. I thought I had my food addiction kicked, but it just manifested itself in another addiction.
Bimbabe

Bimbabe

2
AmyH33's Blog
 

Dr Rehnke

looking for any patients that see Dr Rehnke in St Pete, please respond i would like to talk to someone who did/doing excatly what i am doing
AmyH33

AmyH33

2
AmyH33's Blog
 

Lovin life

I am in such a good place in my life right now, i have a wonderful family and great co workers and friends. I am able to have full liquids now, like watered down grits and oatmeal, pudding, sorbet, and I am thankful. I am 37 lbs down from my highest weight and I feel good. I make sure i walk at least 30 mins a day. If i feel this good now, i cant wait to see what another 80 lbs will feel like. watch out world!    
AmyH33

AmyH33

0
marykay82's Blog
 

1/15/11

Went to the weight loss group Thursday. It was the intro to the "Back on Track" series. They talked about making goals.   I'm looking into joining Curves. There's one right down the street. Looks like fun, something that would fit. I think I'm going to do the one week trial and see how I like it.   I loaded a food/exercise tracker app on my phone. Starting to do the log thing today.   I'm going to get a measuring tape at Wal-Mart today so I can take my measurement. I'm going to consider today the starting day. I'll do my measurements, weigh in, start my food/exercise log, and go to Curves.   My long term goal is to get down to 160 lbs and to be physically strong.   Calories In:1,951 Burned: 621 Protein: 50
marykay82

marykay82

0
Weight for it
 

The waiting game

I'm finding it hard to have to wait around for the next part of my journey. I started in November 2010 and although it only been two months I feel like its taking a long time. I have such high times during the month, especially after visiting my doctors office, or setting up appointment. But then there is a lot of time to wait and think. What if my insurance won't cover it? What if I'm not strong enough to make the right eating choices? What if something happens during surgery? This operation could change my whole life. ( in fact I'm praying that it does)   I'm an optimist through and through but this is a huge decision that I'm not taking lightly. I've chosen to get the surgery, which has been one of the hardest decisions I've had to make. Now instead of waiting, I want actions! I have my seminar at the end of the month and then I have to meet with my doctor to fill out the referral. It doesn't seem that far away but its the waiting, and thinking that are getting to me. I know I can do it. I just want to be given the chance already.     I talk too much. Adrienne
Adrienne86

Adrienne86

0
roseyposey's Blog
 

MY LAPBAND JOURNEY - DAY 13 OF 2 WEEK PRE OP DIET

JAN. 15, 2011 - SATURDAY - DAY 13 OF 2 WK. PRE OP DIET. - WELL I MADE THE BIG MISTAKE OF WATCHING LAPBAND SURGERY VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE LAST NIGHT. OH MY GOSH! DO NOT WATCH THEM!!! I AM NOW READY TO CANCEL MY SURGERY! HA - WISH I COULD BUT I CAN'T! I AM A TROOPER - SO I MUST KEEP ON KEEPING ON! THERE HAS TO BE A RAINBOW AT THE END OF THIS JOURNEY RIGHT? SO I WILL HAVE MY PROTEIN SHAKES AND BAR TODAY ALONG WITH MY SUGAR FREE JELLO AND POPSICLE AND HOT DECAF TEA AND SOME CHICKEN BROTH. YUK! I AM GOING TO CONCENTRATE ON THE STEELERS/PATRIOTS PLAYOFF GAME TODAY AND TRY MY BEST TO NOT THINK ABOUT THE WHOLE LAPBAND THING!
roseyposey

roseyposey

2

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