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LittleBird's Journal
 

Regret, shame

Damn, damn, damn. I completely overate last night. I had a bunch of food I shouldn't have eaten - I'm talking Doritos with salsa and sourcream. I tell my husband not to buy those kind of snacks - we usually NEVER have junk-snacky-food in the house - THIS is exactly why. I sometimes lose control and am just like "I WANT THAT" and I eat, eat, eat.   I feel shame, guilt. I want my fill to be successful - not to say "the fill will fix me" but just to give me that greater restriction and keep me full longer. Lately I've been ravenous - even after eating. An hour or two later, I'm very hungry.
LittleBird

LittleBird

1
Teresita's Journal
 

Thursday Love you Guys

Thank you ladies for the kick in the caboos. I miss you guys Ali and Oatmeal girl. LOL I will get back to walking tomorrow I'm off from work and hopefully I will find someone to go with me but if not it is ok.   It is getting on my nerves that it gets dark so early. I feel like I am suppose to be in the house getting ready for bed.
Teresita

Teresita

1
libertysuzanne's Journal
 

Dad has noticed a difference!

Woo hoo, popped into see dad and he has finally noticed a change! :clap2:   That really cheered me up. Small things eh? *he he*   The pain has gone now, thankfully! Was a wee bit worrying yesterday, but it has ensured I'm being extremely careful now. As H said 'I have to follow the Bandster rules!' I promise to be a good girl from now on!   Contemplating what breakfast to have, slimfast or yoghurt. Really fancy porridge but don't have any of that at home. Only the ready Brek that CM eats and that isn't wheat free. Still I could heat up the slimfast!
libertysuzanne

libertysuzanne

1
Bullwinkle's Journal
 

The initial consult went GREAT!

Well, I finally met with Dr. Curry and his staff today, and my husband and I left feeling secure and thoroughly impressed. First, Charity checked me in and made sure all of my paperwork was in order, and she collected the co-pay. My husband was being a smart aleck (per usual) and she threatened to beat him up for me. I knew I'd like the girl from that moment on. Next, we met with Erin, the Clinical Dietician. She weighed me (ugh!) and took my measurements (double ugh!), and then spoke with us in the exam room. She has a lap band herself, and it was comforting to know that someone with personal lap band experience was extoling its virtues to me. After Erin, we met Tracy. Tracy is the Insurance Coordinator and she really set my mind at ease about insurance. She told me that UHC is a very good insurance with which to work, and she forsees no problem with approval (so far). Lisa came in next, and she's the Nurse Practitioner. Wow. Again, she went over every aspect of my medical and physical history, and answered a lot of questions I had (although, when I left, I thought of several more). And last, but certainly not least, Dr. Curry came in and showed us a brief presentation about the pros and cons of having a lap band, and he told me that I am an ideal candidate for the procedure. Whew! So, I went to work and spent a few moments on the phone with my insurance company getting pre-authorization for a psychiatric review with an in-network psychiatrist -- one of the ones listed on the referral paper given to me by Dr. Curry's office. I'll have my psyc review on Friday, 11-17-06, and 9:00am. The wheels are in motion, and if everything goes as planned, I should be banded around the third week in January! WOO HOO!!!!!
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

1
Cha Cha's Journey
 

Wednesday

As I headed home from work today, I sent my husband a text message that said "Going home to drink!". He sent back "Save me some!" Today was quite stressful, but still very good. Once again, I look forward to Friday. That will be my last smoke day. I have quit smoking in the past (for 3.5 yrs), so I know I can do it.   My BF had her psych visit today . . . they let her out, so she must be safe to be around :scared: .   I updated my Mom about my journey to Lband Heaven, and she is glad that I have found something that I feel very comfortable with. She is very supportive.   What's really weird, is that now that I am on this journey, I find I'm not as hungry as much . . . I wonder if it's normal. I seem to have become more aware of what I am eating (which is good). This should help me with having to make the decisions on what to eat once I have the surgery.
angelburch

angelburch

1
thickchickTEXAS's Journal
 

A Time to Laugh with Tiffy!!

:cheer2: Howdy ya'll :cheer2:   I spent most of my day laughing at emails from my sister she is so funny, I dont know what I would do without her. She has been a inspiration to me she is the baby of 7 and she is so pretty she has a body like Serrina Williams *not sure what happened to me* But I love her!!   She has been taking me and the kids back and forth to daycare and work!!! She is my HERO I love her :kiss2: :kiss2:   I wish I could tell her that I want this Lap band. I guess Im just scared she wont understand why. She's 24 no kids no boyfriend just a free spirit with a perfect body:Banane20:   Well if you have a sister show her you love her today by a simple hug or kiss or a phone conversation. :scared:   Love you all SHOUT OUT to Teresita (where are you?) & DouglasP ((hugs))to u :kiss2:
thickchickTEXAS

thickchickTEXAS

3
libertysuzanne's Journal
 

Over eager with reduction

I think I have been a little to premature in reducing my pain killers. I spent virtually most of today sleeping! The last time I did that we discovered that I wasn't gewt proper sleep because of the pain, hence why I am on so many pain killers. I suspect that because have cut down my daily pills the nighttimes one haven't been working as effectively.   I relied to much on the psychological impact of doing such a positive thing, rushing into silly behaviour! Time to re-introduce my day time pain killers, even though in theory the pain is bareable, my body and brain don't think it is (my feet and knees always seem to be in pain anyway it is ease to use mind over matter!). Had wondered why my bed looked as if I had danced a tango over it each night lol.   I had a most horrible pain th is morning, I thought the band could have slipped, but after going back to bed, the pain eased off and it hasn't returned. A lady did tell me what it felt like if you had a slippage, something like chest pains, this wasn't the case with me, it was lower down, I guess more orund the bowel area, maybe the fod I ate had finally decided to disagre with me. I don't want to lose control like I did that day, eaing small amounts but very frequently which is very bad! So the pain was really just punishment.   Still after all that I still love the fact, that the inches are slowly creeping off my frame, I put on a black dress that I hadn;t worn for over 4 years because it had made me look like a michellin man! It's still not as loose as it was when I first wore it, years ago; but, it really doesn;t cling and show off all te bumps like it had done! So that was a very poisitive NSV! I have a fake fur jacket which is also somethign that I can;t wait to wear again! I think a lot of my NSV's are based on clothes!   Protein Powder now this one confuses me slightly. Do we have to have protein powder for the rest of our lives?? Think I need to search through the forum see what answers I can come up with!
libertysuzanne

libertysuzanne

1
TakinThePlunge's Journal
 

Two Weeks after Surgery

Life is great and I could not have asked and received a better experience so far. Course I am a little concerned cause I have never eaten so little and lived, I am wondering if something is wrong. Wounds are all but healed and movement is probly back to around 98% without worrying am I going to hurt something if I do something wrong. Today is also the day that I have said goodbye to 300lbs and that has always been a personal goal and now its real, this morning I was 298, yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Getting plently of water and nutrition from the shakes "high protien" and a wellness feeling of great. Can't wait "but I will" for the 100lbs lost, Life is all NEW again.   :scared:   315/298/210
TakinThePlunge

TakinThePlunge

1
pixcess's Journal
 

Before lap band

11/08/06 Community Hospital North / Indianapolis / Dr. Ditslear Seminar on lap-band given by Dr. Ditslear tomorrow night (Thursday--11/09/06) at 5:00 P.M. I know I'm going to do this, but I still want my research to be thorough, no surprises. My husband asked me today if I was excited about it. I told him that I just felt like it was necessary and I'm going to bulldoze my way through it with clinced teeth determination. I've been eating everything I want because I have the mindset that I'll never be able to eat again once the lap band is done. Of course, that's silly, but it's my mindset at this moment. It's sort of how I've started every diet I've ever been on... too many to count.
pixcess

pixcess

1
LittleBird's Journal
 

Going for try #2

Since my last fill was unsucessful I have another scheduled for the 18th. I'm toning up good with all the walking I've been doing - rushing for public transportation - I'm hoping that is enough to make this fill sucessful.   My fellow bandster (banded on the same day) has already had two fills! I feel good about my progress, but knowing the holidays are coming, I'd rather have better restriction! This may be my first holiday in a very long time where I LOSE rather than gain the weight!   Also, just an FYI for anyone needing fills in NW Washington area....My fill center just launched an information site. www.northwestfills.com
LittleBird

LittleBird

1
StephC's Journal
 

tooth pulled

I'm in pain. I had a old root canal tooth break off and had to get it pulled. So I guess I won't go in to work today. Not a big deal since I didn't have any work to do. I didn't hear from Nate yesterday afternoon so I am going to call him today to see what dates we have to pick from. It would be so cool if I could get it done this next monday! :scared: Pray for me!
StephC

StephC

2
Bullwinkle's Journal
 

Today is the day!

I have an appointment to see Dr. Curry this morning at 11:00am. I am excited, yet nervous. Last night I dreamed that he told me that I wasn't a good candidate for a lap band, and told me to go home and lose weight the "old fashioned" way.   Well, THAT way hasn't worked for me at all. I've been fat ever since I can remember. My parents and three siblings were never fat, but I was. Mom started taking me to Weight Watcher's meetings when I was 8 years old. She gave me Ayds to chew on, helped me count calories, signed me up for gymnastics and dancing lessons in the hope I'd burn more calories and lose weight, threatened and cajoled me into losing weight, bought my sister new clothes but not me, in the hopes that I'd "straighten up" and lose weight, punished me other various ways because I wouldn't lose weight, had me on various liquid diets, including the Cambridge Diet, took me to a hypnotist for subliminal weight-loss messages, and paid for me to go to Diet Center.   In my adult life I continued to life with family put-downs because of my weight and I finally topped out at 352 pounds. I stopped eating on July 1, 1998 and in 23 months I lost over 150 pounds. But that's only because I was eating about two cups of food a day, and mostly protein. Since that time I've tried to stay to two cups of food a day, but I cannot. I've steadily gained weight (big surprise) and am now back up to 247 pounds. At this rate, before the end of 2007, I'll be right back up over 300 pounds.   I've calculated that I've lost and gained close to 200 pounds over and over again in my lifetime, and I'M SICK TO DEATH OF THIS STUPID HAMSTER WHEEL I'M ON!!!!!!!!   Please, Dr. Curry............you're my last hope!
Bullwinkle

Bullwinkle

1
Cha Cha's Journey
 

Just More Thoughts

When I got home this evening, my husband greeted me and wanted to know all about my Dr's visit. He asked a lot of questions, and was very happy for me. He has truly come full circle and is back to being my 100% fully supporting husband. He has expressed his fears of me having surgery (of any kind), and we talked about those. I can tell when I look in his eyes that he is truly supportive   My anger has gone away since it's had a place to go (this journal), and I hope that I didn't make anyone think that I needed some major psych help. It's just that I have always been the kind of person to hold back on what I truly think and feel with about 95% of the people I come in contact with. I consider myself a very private person when it comes to my feelings and rarely trust anyone enough to be honest with them. However, I do have a terrific support group. My hubby, my BF and her husband (whom I affectionately refer to as my brother-husband), and my two daughters. Those 5 are the only one's I feel completly at ease with when expressing my emotions.   So, again, my appt today was great, however I was surprised that their scale said I weight 276 instead of the 282 that mine said this morning. So this evening my hubby and I "reset" our scale. My BMI is 43, and my body fat was 52.5% :omg: . I don't know what is considered a healthy body fat, so I guess I'll have to research that.   And yes BF -- we will live a long long time as skinny and HEALTHY BF's!!! Hugs and Kisses.:scared:
angelburch

angelburch

1
CJay's Journal
 

The first days . . . .

Well, I made it. Life has given me a second chance. Today I wanted to remember the dreams that have long clouded over with time. To paint, to travel, to laugh, to look pretty, to have confidence. I was the one who took them away. But lost my way back from a dark time. I am my mother. I lived as a marter and gave unselfishly of myself to others that did not appreciate it in the end.   Lives cross each other. And may parellel for a time. But they never blend into one person. (Lessons learned by Vi? What are my thoughts?)   I was banded on 11/2/06. Today is day 5. Tommorrow I go back to work an AM overtime. Will I be the same? Will I drive to exhaustion? I need to get a clear exit plan. An exit plan for work or an entrance plan for life?
CJay

CJay

1
Kathie's Journal
 

TUES 7 NOV 2006

About 10 years ago my husband saw in article in the news about the LAP Band. He knew how depressed I was about my weight and encouraged me to go to a seminar. I guess I wasn't ready for that yet at only a meager 245 lbs on my 5-2 frame. I think they were performing clinical trials here in San Diego at that time. Now, here I am at 280. After multiple attempts with Optifast, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Fen/Phen, Meridia, Circuit Clubs, SouthBeach, Scarsdale, Zone, etc. But you all know this story for yourselves. I'm currently enrolled in a nutritional class at Kaiser as their prerequisite for gastric bypass. But this surgery scares the holy crap out of me. I don't like the idea of rearranging my insides and the possibilities of nutritional complications - if I survive all the other potential risks. Of course all surgery has risks. And the biggest one for me on this (LAP Band) one is that I won't lose enough weight. But I'm jumping ahead. I recently discovered that an old friend was having this surgery. So I'm pouring over the statistics and find the LAP Band a much more desirable surgery. So we'll see. Good luck to all of you. I'll certainly continue to journal my journey.
Kathie

Kathie

1
Cha Cha's Journey
 

My 1st Dr's Appt

I saw the Intern at Dr. Jay's office today. She was wonderful! She said I was an excellent candidate. The only thing is that I must quit smoking -- which is cool. I knew I'd have to do that. I quit for 3.5 yrs and then for some stupid reason picked it back up again. So this Friday 11/10 will be my last day smoking. I know it will be hard (been there, done that), but at least I know what to expect. I'm sure I'll be journaling a lot during that time. I've already called and set the appt for my psych and nutritionist. So it looks like it's coming along! Now I just have to write a letter to the insurance company, and I'm not very good at that, so for me, that will be the hardest part.
angelburch

angelburch

1
StephC's Journal
 

YIPEEEEEEEE!

:update: oh yeah I'm approved!! :dance: yeehaw! I called insurance yesterday morning to check on my status and they said they hadn't gotten anything from the surgeon yet - I was like oh man! bummer - :think so I called and the PA said they had just sent all the info in on the 1st of november so I should give it a few more days - last week he told me it took a week to 4 weeks to hear from the insurance - I don't think they had even sent out the files - I musta lit a fire under the doc's butt and he sent them in - so then Nate (the PA) calls this morning at 9 am and says good news the insurance company called them yesterday late afternoon and said I am approved! Go figure! I said wow I must have pushed it alittle by calling! I am SO excited. :banana So Nate is supose to be calling this afternoon with dates for me to pick from. He said we need to do the crash diet to shrink my liver (10 days of liquid) and we should be set. I said I am ready - I planned it this way. I work at a golf club in PA so I get laid off in the winter so I had planned to have it this month - oh I am so excited!
StephC

StephC

1
sheilamj1fan's Journal
 

Going Forward

Hello everyone,   I just wanted to let you all know that I am going forward with the process. I've met with the psychologist, nutrionist and the the nurse at Dr. Woodman's office. One thing that did not sit well with me is the 500.00 fee that Dr. Woodman charges ALL patients:mad: . The nurse said it is for the support groups and other activities, I ask what if I don't want to participate in such activities and she said I would have to pay it anyway. So I may call around to find another doctor once I get approval, hopefully they won't charge that much if anything. I also went ahead and met with my primary care physician and he told me that he would submit the Lap Band reccommendation letter to Dr. Woodman's office (good!). So now I am just waiting for everything to be approved. I hope everyone is going GREAT and I will talk to you later.   Be BLESSED!:nervous
sheilamj1fan

sheilamj1fan

1
DouglasP13's Journal
 

a good day...

Well, today was good. Now I don't want you to think that I'm a depressed person, because I'm not. When I get depressed, I'll tell you. I just have to complain about somethings, just to get them off my chest. I do it here, because nobody else will listen to me. I'm very happy with the response I've gotten here. It's a great thing to not feel alone. Anyway, about my friends, let me say that these 2 close friends that I have, aren't the best friends. The only time they call is if they want something, or need me to do something. They never call just to say hello, and this has been going on for awhile. It's not just about the surgery I'm gonna have, but everything. The one, I know nothing has happened with her because I talk to her mom all the time, she tells me how she is doing. The other one just doesn't care about helping me out. They are both very self centered. I would call them, but I always have to call, because the only time they have time for me is when all of their other friends are not there. Don't be me wrong, I'm not upset about this, I am used to being used, it's a way of life for me. I know it shouldn't be, but I'm a giving person, and even if they use me, I will still give to them. That's just me. But I just wanted to clear things up for ya. This journal is actually a great way for me to deal with things. Once again, thanx to you all. Especially Teresita, Thickchick, and Maggie.....you all are great!
DouglasP13

DouglasP13

2
Wendl830's Journal
 

UNKNOWN

i went for my initial consultation. i don't know if this is for me. my family says just eat better, have you gone to the gym? i am 358lbs. it is almost impossible to get the energy to go to the gym. i'm a nurse for god's sake, i know what to do. i think i'm at the point where i need major help. i just don't know. :help:
Wendl830

Wendl830

1

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