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I wish there was a way I could have had this surgery without anyone knowing...



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My former sister-in-law works in the same bldg that I do and sometimes we would go to lunch before my surgery. She is a few inches taller and a few pounds heavier than I am (before surgery), and has been trying different things to lose weight (water aerobics, Weight Watchers, nutrionist), all to no avail. When I told her that I was going to have the lap band surgery she wrinkled her nose and said "that's okay for you, but I'm going to do it on my own." (Mind you, she hasn't lost a pound after a year of Water aerobics 2-3 times a week.) I said, "cool, to each her own". Well, about 3 weeks ago she called me and after telling me some other stuff she started talking about the lap band surgery. She said that "she couldn't possibly do that, it's unnatural" ... "Putting something in your body that God didn't put there". I said "oh, like hip replacement or an artificial heart?". She then said that she had to go to a meeting and that she would call me back. I was surprised when a couple of hours later she actually did call me back. She talked a bit and then I told her that no one was going to make her have lap band surgery so she didn't have to worry about putting anything "unnatural" in her body. I told her that it's a personal choice and not the answer for everyone.

Well, she hasn't spoken to me since! LOL! Trust me when I say, I AM GOOD WITH THAT!! LOL

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I agree with you, I don't want to be watched with every move I make. I told 2 of my kids and my best friend other than my husband. This was my decision to do the surgery and I know from the prosess so far that this has been the hardest weight loss process that I have done, and I have done it all from WW to Phen Phen. People seem to think this is the easy way out, but anyone who had to to the Med-Fast diet for 2 weeks and then the surgery and being afraid of getting something stuck don't know what they are talking about. I was banded on 10/19/09 and I am still sore, I have lost 22lbs since Oct 5th, but it has not been easy. So, as my kids and husband says, it's your body and your buiness. At this time I don't know if I will ever tell my mom or siblings or anyone else for that matter.:sad:

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oh man im with you! i told my mom and my dad no scratch that i made them both swear they wouldnt tell anyone.. my reason is because my whoel family allways harped on my weight." how much have you lost?" "are u watching?" " can you afford that" even now i got that can you afford that comment! from my grama and she doesnt even know.. so imagine that.. soem ppl dontknow and they still judge so i made it very clear..

unfortunatly week before my surgery iw as at a family function and my uncle who i rarely see goes.. so u excited to get on this diet? and i look at him like confused he musta noticed me not eating the deserts or something and then he reiterates in front of a whole bunch of ppl and i was just mortified! not because i mind that he knows but i wanna get through this on my own.. minus teh questions minus the judgments.. and to think i have to start playing detective..who told!? well my dad never seemed to have respected my privacy anyhow so i try not to get angry...

i told 2 good friends and that was it! my personal choice is to keep this to myself.. im not ashamed. this is for me. and i wannt to come to terms with how I feel first!

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I am scheduled to have my surgery Nov. 10th. At first I didn't tell many people that I was getting the surgey. But then I started to tell people at work I am close to. Now, I really don't care who knows. I know there will be people expecting me to fail. Because they've "heard" about other people not being successful longterm with wls. However, its just a great incentive to prove them wrong. Most people are supportive of my decision though. The funny thing is that I have two friends that have confided in me that they are getting breast augmentation soon. They are comparing their situation to mine. I just keep my mouth shut cause I can't bear to tell them its not the same at all. They are both in perfect shape and I never even noticed they had "small" breasts. Its not the same. But of course I am trying to be supportive, and I am happy that they will be happier with themselves.

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My husband and my mother in law are the only 2 people that know. I mentioned the idea of the band and too many people thought it was an easy way out. Sorry but there is little that is easy about the band. I work my butt off to lose weight and I refuse to be judged!

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Yeah, everyone thinks it an easy way out, but I agree with you, it' one of the hardest things I have done and I don't need anyone passing judgement or watching every bite I take. My 1st fill is Nov.16th and to tell you the truth I am very hungry and can't wait. I am sticking to my diet of food quota but it is hard. I live in Cincinnati OH, keep in touch and let me know how you are doing.

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I am a hair stylist with quite a few clients. These are people that have seen me lose and gain weight over the last few years. I decided, for myself, to be honest about the surgery. I knew that some clients would be supportive while others, would not. I have no regrets for my decisions because as my weight loss has become noticeable and people are commenting about the changes they are seeing, I am not having to explain over and over again about the surgery. My few clients that had concerns in the beginning are now coming around and realizing that I am a healthier person. I have also been an inspiration to 3 clients of another

co-worker. They all wanted to have the surgery but were afraid to take the step. After talking to me and asking many questions.......they all 3 opted to go ahead with the lap band. I feel excited to have this great tool (lap band) that will hopefully give me a healthier existance. Good luck to you all in this journey.

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Is your mom overweight, maybe she is jealous of you, or if she isnt overweight then maybe she feels threatened by the fact that you will be thin soon.

I know what you mean about not wanting to tell anyone, i wasnt going to tell anyone either, so as it is only my immediate family knows and when i did tell them i informed them i did not want to talk about it, and that i did not want to be asked how much weight i had lost everytime they saw me because i knew that a lot of people lose very slowly and i was scared that that would happen to me, which it is, and they have been very good, no one asks me they just act like i never had it, so when i have lost some weight i share with them and when i dont lose i dont tell them.

as for your husband tell him to stop asking that it is not some magic and the weight is going to come off slow so leave you alon.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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