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I have been overweight pretty much my entire life. All I have known myself as is "the big goofy girl". I asociated my self esteem with my weight. Now that I have lost quite a bit of weight, my mind is still in the same place.I still can't seem to believe I deserve good things or people in my life. Just looking for tips from those who have lost a lot about the mental part of weight loss in terms of fixing self esteem. Thanks in advnace:)

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It takes a while but it comes eventually. You start to have a more realistic view of yourself, although I think, even 2 years after hitting goal I do tend to see myself as bigger than I am. But I definitely see the difference these days and I dont think of myself as fat anymore, dont pick up clothes and think they'll never fit me etc.

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You may think this is a silly thing to do but the reality orientation classes use to teach that you stand in front of a mirror twice a day and say ONLY good things about yourself. Also, wear a rubber band around your wrist and each time you have a negative thought about yourself, give that band a pop. Soon you teach the brain to accept only positive thoughts about yourself. The third thing is to write in a journal as much as you can. YOU deserve to love yourself!

Edited by LollyMoe
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mellabella, i so understand what you are saying. i keep thinking that there is no way i will ever be at a healthy weight. i have lost 80lbs but i am sure something will go wrong and prevent me from reaching a healthy goal. It's so sad that we view ourselves like that. if you had a friend say to you what you are saying to yourself, how would you reply? probably with encouragement, support, and an attitude that she will reach her goal. but we just refuse to give ourselves any slack. It's a slow journey to renew our minds isn't it?

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I say get some short term counseling. There is almost alway something behind the weight. I am a big believer of counseling. Did 2½ year of it myself so I am recommending only something I did myself. You will be suprised how much difference it will make

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My husband decided over a year ago he wanted to lose weight, so he did.. 50 pounds (I know, I hate him too). He's now a size 32 waist and is wearing small or medium shirts and I CANNOT convince him that he's SKINNY. In his mind he's the chubby guy. It's a hard thing to change who you are mentally.

Probably won't be so hard for me, my mom always said I had too much self esteem and when I looked in the mirror I saw a skinny 300+ pound girl.

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same here and my weight has affected my personality. I plan on going to therapy after my surgery because I know I'll never feel the way I should if I don't. It hasn't been a huge character flaw but I tend to restrict myself a lot because of my weight and it kinda has affected my relationship. So therapy is my answer for you. I already scheduled one for me 1 week post op. It's great and once you begin talking you'll feel so much better.

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This is such an interesting thread. My problem is that I was never heavy growing up (not until post children) so even at my biggest (279) I didn't see myself as obese. The scale is reading in the 190's right now, but when I look in the mirror I don't think I look any different. Not that I saw myself as skinny ever, I guess I just didn't see how large I really was?? I hope that makes sense..... Anyway, this has been a very interesting journey and I am looking forward to being a "normal" size someday :thumbup:

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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