I have been overweight pretty much my entire life. All I have known myself as is "the big goofy girl". I asociated my self esteem with my weight. Now that I have lost quite a bit of weight, my mind is still in the same place.I still can't seem to believe I deserve good things or people in my life. Just looking for tips from those who have lost a lot about the mental part of weight loss in terms of fixing self esteem. Thanks in advnace:)

It takes a while but it comes eventually. You start to have a more realistic view of yourself, although I think, even 2 years after hitting goal I do tend to see myself as bigger than I am. But I definitely see the difference these days and I dont think of myself as fat anymore, dont pick up clothes and think they'll never fit me etc.

You may think this is a silly thing to do but the reality orientation classes use to teach that you stand in front of a mirror twice a day and say ONLY good things about yourself. Also, wear a rubber band around your wrist and each time you have a negative thought about yourself, give that band a pop. Soon you teach the brain to accept only positive thoughts about yourself. The third thing is to write in a journal as much as you can. YOU deserve to love yourself!

Edited October 28, 200916 yr by LollyMoe
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mellabella, i so understand what you are saying. i keep thinking that there is no way i will ever be at a healthy weight. i have lost 80lbs but i am sure something will go wrong and prevent me from reaching a healthy goal. It's so sad that we view ourselves like that. if you had a friend say to you what you are saying to yourself, how would you reply? probably with encouragement, support, and an attitude that she will reach her goal. but we just refuse to give ourselves any slack. It's a slow journey to renew our minds isn't it?

I say get some short term counseling. There is almost alway something behind the weight. I am a big believer of counseling. Did 2½ year of it myself so I am recommending only something I did myself. You will be suprised how much difference it will make

My husband decided over a year ago he wanted to lose weight, so he did.. 50 pounds (I know, I hate him too). He's now a size 32 waist and is wearing small or medium shirts and I CANNOT convince him that he's SKINNY. In his mind he's the chubby guy. It's a hard thing to change who you are mentally.

Probably won't be so hard for me, my mom always said I had too much self esteem and when I looked in the mirror I saw a skinny 300+ pound girl.

same here and my weight has affected my personality. I plan on going to therapy after my surgery because I know I'll never feel the way I should if I don't. It hasn't been a huge character flaw but I tend to restrict myself a lot because of my weight and it kinda has affected my relationship. So therapy is my answer for you. I already scheduled one for me 1 week post op. It's great and once you begin talking you'll feel so much better.

This is such an interesting thread. My problem is that I was never heavy growing up (not until post children) so even at my biggest (279) I didn't see myself as obese. The scale is reading in the 190's right now, but when I look in the mirror I don't think I look any different. Not that I saw myself as skinny ever, I guess I just didn't see how large I really was?? I hope that makes sense..... Anyway, this has been a very interesting journey and I am looking forward to being a "normal" size someday :thumbup: