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What should I tell my kids?



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Hi everyone,

I'm sure there are other threads with this topic, but I couldn't find them. I'm not very good with the search tool.

Anyway, I have 7 year old twins and a 5 year old that I are asking me questions about all the appointments that I'm going to. I've tried to give as little info as possible, and they know that I want to have surgery soon, but they don't know why.

I was just wondering what other's have told their children about the surgery. I pretty much eat what I want right now and I don't want them to ever think that they can eat what they want and just go get a surgery to fix it later.

Any ideas?

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Hi,

My daughter is 9. I loosely explained to her what was happening. I also tell her that the reason I am making this decision is because I let my habits get out of control when I was very young and I want to make sure I get healthy so I can be around to take care of her for a very long time! I have also used it as a learning tool as to why we only have healthy Snacks and we stay active, etc. Her only concern was the possibility that something bad could happen to me in the hospital. I let her visit me for about 20 minutes. She still does a daily check on my incisions/scars and absolutely loves all the new foods we have introduced into our diet (greek yogurt, soy milk, etc.).

Your children are a bit younger than mine, but I think you should be honest with them. Simplify it as much as possible, but be clear. My daughter definitely does not have the perspective that you can have an operation as a solution. She tells me she wishes I hadn't had to do it, but that she will take good care of me and is glad I did something that will make sure I am healthy for a long time.

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They are young enough to be happy with simple answers. You could probably just tell them that you are getting your tummy fixed and that will satisfy them. Tell them you'll be sore for a few days and won't be able to pick them up but that they can always climb into your lap.

A poster on another site tried to give her daugher (who was 6 or maybe 7 at the time) a simple description of what she was having done....only to hear her daughter tell a neighbor (very loudly) "My Mommy had a rubber band put around her tummy so she won't be fat!"

My great-granddaugher lives with me. She's 18 months old. She loves to eat whatever I'm eating.....Greek yogurt with honey, Soup, and Kelloggs whole grain crackers are her favorites, LOL. Oh, yeah, and cottage cheese. She sees that carton and after saying 'mmmmmmmm' she opens her mouth.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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