so just the other day i posted the thread "glimpse at my future body". all those feelings still stand. but i am also freakin out majorly about how icky i look right now. how icky i perceive myself to look now? maybe thats a better way to put it?

i am thrilled with my weightloss. i knew from get go i would need a tummy tuck and some boobie work. i KNEW that. but omg, my stomach is so nasty right now. it is bothering me so bad. i cant stand to be naked. if i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror after a shower it makes me sick. i stand there for a good 10 minutes pushing and pulling on stuff just hating it. when my husband and i are intimate, i have to keep on a tank top to cover my stomach. makes him mad, but i guess he is kinda getting to accept it because he isnt as pushy about it.

my friends and family that know of my crazy body issues tell me over and over that i am much to critical of myself. that i look amazing and they are proud of me. its like, i know in my head i look better then i did before. but i dont KNOW that. does that make sense to anyone? i am not striving or even want to look like a toothpick or a model or some celebrity, i just dont wanna look like this, ya know?

ugh, its so hard. its nice to come here and vent about it though. spring and tax return cant come fast enough. i am putting that money towards my tummy tuck!

What you are going through now is my fear. I know I am going to have the exact same issues and it sort of terrifies me. I know plastic surgery will be inevitable, but what do you do in the meantime while you are still losing weight and look fabulous clothed but don't want to be seen naked and hate your new body?

I, too, empathize with what you are going through as I am, too. I am building my PS account as fast as I can and hope scars look better than what I have going on. I actually think I looked better with plumped up fat than this deflated sack of skin!!!!! Gotta remember we are doing a GOOD thing by losing weight, LOL.

Mimi

i think a lot of us go through very similar feelings. last night i was in the tub. just staring at my stomach and the loose skin made me almost cry. im still much happier than i was fat. but sometimes its hard to believe how i can look so good in clothes but so awful naked. my boyfriend thinks im nuts, he says im hot naked or dressed, but then hes also never been overweight.

my doc told me not to take any plastic surgery until id hit goal and maintained for a while. he says the skin will tighten up more than i think. im hoping so, but i too am already trying to figure out a way to finance my surgery when the time comes

i'm glad that i read this because i feel less alone in my worries

i havent had the band yet but a few years ago i lost 30kgs but still could not look at myself

i think that unfortunately these negative body issues will follow me with or without the weight

when i had lost weight previously i still felt fat and ugly, i couldnt see how much better i looked at the time

now, after having gained all the weight back on, i finally realise how great i looked

it sucks that i didnt appreciate myself when i had lost the weight because the low self esteem that i had ended up causing me to get depressed and gaining the weight again

as for the saggy skin thats my biggest fear!

i keep dreaming about the sexy skinny body i might have when i get the band but i'm sure that i'll never really be able to get my ideal body without more surgical help. it sucks being fat!

I am beginning to feel that way too. I saw pictures of myself from 2 weeks ago in Myrtle Beach and even with shorts and tank top on, I looked "droopy". Not as concerned with my stomach as I am my thighs and back. I feel like I have alot of back fat and it is driving me crazy.I have not shared my thoughts with anyone and people commetn all the time on the "new" me. I know/feel I look good, most of the time, in my clothes and I am still grateful for the weightloss but I am not liking this droopy look at all.

I saw this article by Geneen Roth (who writes some good stuff about weight, dieting and body issues) and it helped to put things into perspective for me. It might help you too. It's entitled: Worrying about weight doesn't help you lose it.

Worry About Weight Loss - Stop Worrying About Losing Weight - Goodhousekeeping.com

Good article Cleo's mom really puts it into perspective! Nancy:thumbup:

I've only lost 29 pounds and I can already see the new wrinkles in my face. One cheek is definitely crinkly and I have at least a year and half to go to get close to my goal. I can just imagine how droopy I'm going to be by then. Fortunately, my husband doesn't mind. I think he wants me to be healthy and keep moving rather than be fat and immobile because of my fat.

I'm also saving my money for PS. I swore I would never get a face lift, but let me tell you.....that's probably the first thing I'll get done when I get close to goal. I'm just not ready to have a flabby face. I can hide the rest, but not my face.

ee

I wish I could convince myself these things dont matter. I know logically they dont. I dont understand how I can feel so great about myself and so awful at the same time. I feel like its all a sham, that if only people saw me UNclothed they wouldnt be anywhere near so impressed by my weight loss.

I know I'm fit and strong and very athletic. But I kind of feel that would only count if I had the body to match it.

Its really shame. I see a photo and I think 'who's that thin person'. Its me, for a split second I like what I see and then i start dissecting it and criticizing.

I agree that the number on the scale wont mean much when you die, but unfortunately I think it will continue to mean lots till the split second before.

What gets me is I dont even look at other people that way.

To me, people are attractive because of the sum total of their parts, and its usually one small quirk or mannerism that makes them appeal to me. Likewise, people who are technically "beautiful" can be unattractive, cant stand pretty boys like Brad Pitt for example, I would never find a man that pretty in the slightest bit attractive. But Liam Neeson, ugly as all get out, but man he's sexy, drooooooool.

So why do I impose these stupid standards on myself?

We're all effed in the head I think and I suspect its going to be that way for good.

Personally, I will not go down the PS path. I know that I'd get one thing fixed and move to the next and I have no wish to be some tragic looking freak like 3/4 of Hollywood.

Ok, so I guess my point of view is a little different and I hope no one gets upset with me but here goes. I did come so very close to death. In a bad car accident last year due to a heart condition I didn't know I had. I am very lucky to be here today. I still could go at any moment and each time I black out, it takes a little more from my heart production. I look at each day as a true blessing and I really try to enjoy every moment of it. I really hope you all can get past the skin issues and see yourself for the beautiful women that you are. Try not to obsess over the little bit of extra skin. Look at what you all have accomplished? Think about how you felt when you first began your journey and how hard you have worked to be where you are now? You should be so proud of that! I am 51 and have already begun to see the little wrinkles. I am trying little harder to take care of my face and ramped up my skin regimen but at the end of the day I am what I am. I had a friend who is very large and a little older than me tell me that she did not want to lose the weight because being fat kept her face blown out and the wrinkles didn't show. She was kidding herself. I saw wrinkles plenty but didn't tell her that. The point is be happy that you have come so far and enjoy the thrilling things you get to do in your life that you couldn't do before. You are worth it.

jachut- i know what you mean about "technically beautiful" people. many times i will think someone is attractive until they open their mouth, lol. or actions, actions, or lack of actions for that matter, can make that gorgous person tank it in a heart beat. i think that being good looking and then being attractive to me are seperate things. and, omg, liam neeson is H-O-T! i think he is just yummy. very handsome man. i dont get the pretty boy thing either. not that i dont think brad pitt is easy on the eyes or anything, just not my cup of tea.

cleo's mom- thank you for the article. it understand the concept, and try, but i keep coming back to these feelings as well. its a struggle.

mimilou- i was just thinking the same thing this morning as i pinched and pulled on a few of the skin rolls....i think this looked better fat... not that i really did, i hated that, but all this skin....arghhh...lol

i am still really freaking out about it. i think i am more obsessed then i was when i started with this whole journey. and that was scary, lol. i have now started wearing this girdle type thing. its like a panty that goes up to under my boobs. it has helped. i dont feel as sloppy and icky. i know i look "smoother", by husband even commented on how much it helps. which just convinced me even more how icky i look! i wish my head/thoughts didnt work like this, but they do. i will just be so happy when i get the tummy tuck. i love my arms, they are thin and getting toned, my legs are thin, my butt...well, i have never had a butt, so that doesnt bother me, lol. just get this nasty belly gone.

Just tagging this thread for future reading.

and now i am hating on my arms! which i hadnt been until last week sometime. let me just tell you why. so i was giving a gentleman directions on how to get around the shop behind where i work. i had on shirt that had those short fluttery type arms. i extended my arm to point and caught the most gawd aweful jiggle out of the corner of my eye. in horror i finished with the directions and headed straight to the bathroom. there i did the same thing again in the mirror. OMG! wth is this? i had some jiggle previously, but not like this! wth is going on? i am assuming that this jiggle is the biproduct of losing this last round of weight i have. but holy crap. the jiggle snuck up on me. i flex and still have the toned muscle, but the jiggle is way worse!

so i have upped my weight lifting/toning. i am parnoid as all get out about them now. when i look in the mirror i see these huge fat arms again. when before this happened i LIKED my arms. i really hope i can remedy this with the toning.

and also, maybe, maybe, just maybe, i will look in the mirror one day and it will be gone, just like it appeared. you know what i mean? maybe my messed up mind will morph these jiggle arms back into what i **thought** they were!

I have been away from here for way to long!! Came across this thread and nearly cried! I have so many image issues that it makes me insane!! It is so comforting to know that I am not alone in this journey! I receive lots of compliments from both men and women but they don't see what I look like with my clothes off! I don't see what others see in me! All I see is my extra flabby skin and nasty stretch marks! Even tho I do have a great support system I may need to check into some therapy sessions as well!!

and now i am hating on my arms! which i hadnt been until last week sometime. let me just tell you why. so i was giving a gentleman directions on how to get around the shop behind where i work. i had on shirt that had those short fluttery type arms. i extended my arm to point and caught the most gawd aweful jiggle out of the corner of my eye. in horror i finished with the directions and headed straight to the bathroom. there i did the same thing again in the mirror. OMG! wth is this? i had some jiggle previously, but not like this! wth is going on? i am assuming that this jiggle is the biproduct of losing this last round of weight i have. but holy crap. the jiggle snuck up on me. i flex and still have the toned muscle, but the jiggle is way worse!

so i have upped my weight lifting/toning. i am parnoid as all get out about them now. when i look in the mirror i see these huge fat arms again. when before this happened i LIKED my arms. i really hope i can remedy this with the toning.

and also, maybe, maybe, just maybe, i will look in the mirror one day and it will be gone, just like it appeared. you know what i mean? maybe my messed up mind will morph these jiggle arms back into what i **thought** they were!

I totally feel you on this. I haven't worn short sleeves in over 6 months!!!