It's A Heart Break

[CandySmooch 0]

Hi everyone, I need some support and have no where else to turn. My boyfriend and I unexpectedly split tonight after living together for 2 years. We had been in a cycle of fighting off and on, not that bad, but I really didn't think it was worth throwing it all away over. I really thought we could work it out. He's done, he's made up his mind, its over. He said I knew it and he knew it. Well I didn't know it until today. Our anniversary is next month on Halloween. Halloween will never be the same anymore. I really don't know what to think or what to do, but its really over. We were planning for our engagement in February, we've been looking at rings.

I'm just so blown away, I've been crying all day trying to convince him its worth saving. His brother his picking him up in the morning and he's moving his stuff out - he's moving to Branson which is 4 hours away. I will never know anything about him after tomorrow. I don't have an address or phone number to even contact him at and he's ready to move on anyway. I have so many changes that I'm being faced with all at one time, I thought I was a strong person, but now I'm not so sure. I'm so bummed I don't even know what to do. I have a splitting headache and my eyes are all puffy. This is the worst feeling I've ever had I feel like I have no one I was ready to settle down and start a family - nothing will ever be like him. I've never felt I had truly been made love to until I met him. We had such a passionate relationship, not like any of my other relationships, I was so sure I had truly found my soul mate. I'm so sad, I don't even know what to write about anymore here And on top of that I haven't ate or drank anything today - I'm trying some chicken right now, but my band is being a fickle bitch too. I'm feel like I've just had a tight fill.

[Butterfly07 0]

I am so sorry! As I was reading your post I wondered if somewhere in his mind he is fearful of the surgery and the changes it will bring. What do you think? Also, sometimes big changes brought on by their partner push them in a direction they were secretly heading.

But hopefully, after he gets some time and distance he will realize what a great woman he has left and call you to try and work things out.

Do you have family/friends nearby? A good support system is important. remember to still take care of yourself and get as much rest as you can.

Wishing you luck!

[loopylou 0]

oh Honey! I am so sorry...

I dont know that there is anything I can say to make it better, but I am here for you.

<<<warm loving hugs>>>

[giveyouthemoon 4]

Oh honey! I'm so very sorry! The band can feel tight when you are stressed and baby, YOU ARE STRESSED.

I don't know what to say other than I'm so incredibly sorry. I've been through something similar and I'm here for you. Just *hugs* and here's a tissue and hold my hand. We'll get through this together!!!

[CandySmooch 0]

My surgery didn't have anything to do with the break up. We had issues, but I still thought it was worth working through. Its so hard to have someone look you in the eyes and tell you its over when you want nothing more than to make it work and they've given up. He's the type of person who sticks with what he decides so I know this is final.

[Guest ASPHALT ANGEL]

Just wanted to say I feel really bad for you....what a jerk he is for not even wanting to work things out. But you know if he is not willing to put the effort into making it work then he was not the one for you. Take care of your self, and remember that you always have us here at LBT....

[CandySmooch 0]

Thanks I'm going to need continued support through the struggling months ahead - your going to see me go through all the motions. I do have a few close friends who are here for me, its just going to be such a change at home. Everything reminds me of us. Everything. And tomorrow is going to be terrible when he actually leaves - I doubt he'll say any more than he already has, its just him leaving now.

[CandySmooch 0]

Guess I need to change my avatar since it is a picture of us when we first met Guess I'll go do that now. Anyone got any cute ones they could send or something different to embrace a new life?

[the best me 6]

Aw, CandySmooch. Get that new avatar up, quick! Just pick one from the list that comes up. You can share my pretty wreath for a bit until you find a good pic. Last I checked it was on page 17 or something?

I'm really sorry for your sadness. It seems like just an empty platitude now but it will get better. You said "nothing will ever be like him" and it's the truth. BUT, something-or someONE-will be better. I promise! ((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))

[live2canoe 1]

I'm really sorry, I think we've all been on both sides of a break-up. It's never fun, no matter what.

I promise though, that this too will pass and you will find someone even better. Someone you're more connected to. This one was just the warm-up, to show you what was possible. The main even is still to come. Believe it or not, it's better that you have no way to contact him. It will be easier that way. If you're lucky, he won't try to contact you either. That would only prolong the pain.

You're in for a rough few weeks (month?) but you'll get through it, and we will all be here to help.

[divaliciousdee 0]

Breakups are just so hard sometimes! I always think of it like this if he was or is the one you will be together. If not then See ya! Remember your true love will never walk out on you. A true love will work things out with you. True love will be with you till you take your last breath. Maybe he is getting out of the way so that your true love will have a clear path. Then again if he is the one he will be back, and if he does come back...make him beg!! HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

DeeDee

[Bensmum1109 0]

I am so sorry to hear about your situation! I know firsthand what you are going through and it's awful. I would tell you all kinds of wonderful positive things, but the truth is, you just have to go through it. I promise you, though, one of these days you will look back on all of this and smile, because the day you do that it will be because your life is a MILLION times better than it is today. And you will appreciate it because of what you are going through now.

I was with a man for four years that treated me like a queen one day and a dog the next. It was a real roller coaster of emotions, and one of the reasons I gained so much weight. Finally after 4 years I couldn't take it anymore and left, but spent several months seeing him in secret and going back and forth over whether to reconcile. Finally, I packed all of my stuff and had movers move it to California (I lived in Virginia at the time), grabbed my dog, jumped in my truck and drove all the way across the country. I wanted to DIE, and spent months driving home from work sobbing every night. But eventually I was only crying once a week, then every couple weeks, and so on.

A year after I moved to California I met a man who loved me for me (big butt and ALL :-) and who treated me like a queen every day. We have been married two years and have the most beautiful 10 month old boy in the world.

Do I think that five years ago I could have imagined being in the place I am today? NOT A CHANCE. Because I was exactly where you are. But it will happen for you too, sweetie.

Allow yourself to grieve, and lean on your friends. Do stuff he didn't like to do. Spend entire weekends in bed watching movies, only getting up to powerwalk once a day and breathe the fresh air. Listen to sad songs and cry, and watch silly tv shows and laugh your butt off. Exercise. Drive to different neighborhoods, and walk them, taking in their uniqueness (where do you live? I lived in San Francisco at the time, and it helped because it is a really cool city). Go to the beach or a lake if you can, Water is a natural calming element. Make new friends. Eventually, try online dating!

You'll make it, but for a while you will feel like you won't. BUT YOU WILL. PM me if you want to exchange e-mail addresses, I am happy to be there for you!

[CandySmooch 0]

thank you so much everyone. it's helping me to know i'm not alone. all of my are in such shock as i've told them tonight. its just like going through a divorce since we've never been apart since we met 2 years ago, and again Halloween is going to be a f-ing killer - would of been our 2 year anniversary!

[Anwyn 0]

Hang in there sweetie! My heart goes out to you and we're all sending big hugs your way. You CAN make it through this. It's just like going through the surgery. You take it one day at a time and one day soon you'll wake up and realize that you feel so much better!

[Parvathi 2]

<big hugs>

I've been there and it's not easy. I don't know what to say other than the pain will go away with time and if you need to talk, we're all here for you!

Take care of yourself!