Husband says, "Don't fill"

[sunnycard 0]

Hello all,

Very briefly...

Banded in 2004 and lost 80 pounds initially. Gained about 25 back. Met and married wonderful man in 2008. Pregnant and delivered baby just a few weeks ago. Since having the band, eating is never fun or enjoyable, especially during pregnancy. Lots of reflux and vomiting. Finally unfilled during the third trimester.

Husband loves me just the way I am and wishes I don't go in to get refilled. He doesn't like the discomfort that the band can sometimes bring to me. He keeps stressing to me how much he doesn't care about my weight. (Where was he long ago?!)

I would appreciate any comments or feedback on this. I do not know which direction I want to go. I want to be thinner. Do I try it on my own and not get filled? Do I get a smaller fill? Does anyone else no longer enjoy eating?

Thanks in advance for any advice!

[cmdtl 0]

YOU have to be happy first! I know you love your husband but do what makes you happy. You could try and lose on your own but it didnt work before the band ( otherwise you wouldnt have been banded) so why would it work now? Do you want to risk gaining while you battle with this? I am not trying to be harsh as I know you love your husband but your health should be enough reason, esp. now that you have a baby. Good luck!

[Kristine73 1]

If I were in your shoes, I'd ask myself a few things:

1) Am I at a somewhat healthy weight? (no obese, just a bit over weight). I'm sure you know the risks of being overweight. But, being obese and not doing anything about it could cause you to lose precious time w/your child/hubs (illness, lack of energy and the biggie, death)

2) Am I truly happy with myself when I look in the mirror?

3) If I don't get a fill, an I see myself gaining more weight and becoming morbidly obese?

I don't have kids. But, I think if I did, I'd do everything to make sure I was around as along as possible. I am in no way judging you, please don't take my remarks as criticism. It's great that hubs loves you as you are. But, do you love you as you are? Also, it would seem to me, that your hubs would want you around for decades. Mine does, well, depending on the day and my mood

I've been married 16 years, hubs has loved me obese and thin. He always tells me that he married me for my mind, heart and soul. Not for my body. He's stuck w/me through infertility and some health scares. I'm 35 and I told him I'm want to be around for decades to come because I love him and plan on making him miserable for decades to come (if you've been married long, you'll understand that, LOL)!

I guess, it all comes down to what you feel is best for you and your family.

oh, and give that baby some hugs and kisses :crying:

[maclynn 0]

I agree with everything that has been posted so far. I would just like to chime in that after I had my first child, I was only overweight but that then became obese and finally morbidly obese. The heath problems soon followed and I wish that there had been a band when I was in my twenties or thirties. While my husband loves me how I am, I got the band because I am a new grandma and wish to be around to see her grow up. Not because I want to look good in a swimsuit. Good luck with whatever you decide and congratulations on the baby!

[TeganRheana 1]

I was banded for me....but also for my kids! They are a huge part of the reason I decided to get it done. I want to be happy, fit and healthy to see them grow up! If it were me, I would get it filled. Goodluck with your decision.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Would you have been down that 55 pounds without the band? Did you vomit/have reflux etc BEFORE you got pregnant? Why didn't you get an unfill ASAP when you found out you were pregnant? What do YOU want? I think once you know all that, you'll have your answer. Much as you may love your husband, you must do what you know is right for you. Will you be happy if you gain back that other 55 pounds, because honestly statistics and odds are NOT in your favor to keep it off. Facing that, what would you want?