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hostile enviroment ... training, doughnuts and the angry obese



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Ok, so today I had to go to mandatory training for my job. I had my surgery 6/08. I walked in and I knew word about the surgery had gotten round, as the people who usually say hi to me suddenly vanished. I'd say half the room is obese.

Half of those glared at me most of the meeting. They were serving doughnuts and orange juice. I saw some of the 'glaring obese' go back for seconds and thirds. At break, I went out to my car and got my thing of SF vanilla pudding.

As I sat there and ate it, I received some of the dirtiest looks I've received in a long time .... and why? Because I chose to take my health into my own hands? Am I upset by my treatment today? No! I expected in, in an age where people sue mcdonnalds for their being obese, when someone takes responsibility, it threatens others that maybe their weight IS their fault and not mdonnalds. Ok, so I'm a bit irritated.

Oh well,

At least I knew I am getting healthier and I did NOT nibble even so much as a doughnut crumb, today. :thumbup:

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You Go Girl!!! You know that they are just jealous. You strut your stuff!

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Congrats on being such an advocate for your health. Just think when your at goal and you have to come in contact with those people, they will be given you looks of envy. Keep up the great work, and with your attitude and commitement I am sure you will do great!

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Awesome! I am not sure I could have resisted at least trying a donut lol. As for your co-workers, well they will either learn to get over it or continue to resent you but I am glad you are not letting it affect you and your progress

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I'm truly sorry that you encountered so much hostility! I have to say that my personal experience has been so opposite of that! Friends, co-workers, near strangers have all been curious, asked plenty of questions (which I've been happy to answer) and I have even had offers of loans of clothing that will fit now but not for long!

I went to a dress shop to buy a few things and was pretty much clueless what would fit. I tried on some things, they were all too big and the clerk had to bring me the same items in a smaller size. She asked how I'd lost the weight and I told her .... only to learn that she was having the surgery in three weeks. And she reported pretty much the same experience .... everybody has been nice, curious and helpful.

But I know that you will perservere in your choice because you sound pretty detetermined. And that matters more than anything you experience from others!

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Is it possible you are jumping to conclusions? This just doesn't have the right ring to it. Are you reading more into it than there really is? After all, you are just recently banded. And WHY would this make any difference to co-workers?????? That option is available to all.

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That's too bad that they'd rather be hostile towards you than support you through your journey. It's a tough thing you are gonna be going through and you need all the support you can get. Hang in there you can do it and you'll show them!!!

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I don't think I imagined what I experienced. I've gone through some of the treatment before when I lost 100 lbs. Then two catastrophic things happened that triggered 'uncontrolled emotional eating:' 1) *Mother-in-law moving in and 2) Hurricane Katrina. *M-I-L and I DID NOT get along.

I don't work in the office, I work out in the field. So I can go for weeks w/o running into certain people. As far as the band being available to everyone, well there's an price for it. Where we work, there is no health insurance. I get my health ins through my husband, who retired from the military. If I didn't have the ins, I wouldn't have been able to do this.

I am not ashamed of the band or embarrassed that I got. I am proud that I was strong enough to start this journey.

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Oh boy, wait till you experience the world as a THIN person! I never got dirty looks, snide remarks or just plain had people dislike me when I was heavier, it happens all the time now. They see thin they automatically think shallow, life served up on a silver platter, has it easy, doesnt have to work for anything etc. I'm darn glad I'm not model gorgeous as well!

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Oh boy, wait till you experience the world as a THIN person! I never got dirty looks, snide remarks or just plain had people dislike me when I was heavier, it happens all the time now. They see thin they automatically think shallow, life served up on a silver platter, has it easy, doesnt have to work for anything etc. I'm darn glad I'm not model gorgeous as well!

Oh my gosh for real? That sucks. You've come so far! You look frickin' awesome and you work hard to look that way. People can be so shallow and judgmental.

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Oh boy, wait till you experience the world as a THIN person! I never got dirty looks, snide remarks or just plain had people dislike me when I was heavier, it happens all the time now. They see thin they automatically think shallow, life served up on a silver platter, has it easy, doesnt have to work for anything etc. I'm darn glad I'm not model gorgeous as well!

Yes, you do look beautiful! And Kudos to you. I can't see your face clearly in the pic, but from what I can tell, yes you are model gorgeous!

I think part of the problem with me is that where I work, they've seen me lose the weight once before. I was a size 7/8 when Hurricane Katrina hit. All the weight I've gained since is not the fault of the Hurricane. After all, Katrina DID NOT force food in my mouth. When I was skinny before, I'd wear short skirt and sexy tops and go have lunch with my hubs during his break at work. He loved it! Of course, then I only worked part-time and wasn't in school, so I had time to pop-in here and there, LOL! Right now, I'd feel sexy in a size 13/14!

I am also not content just to bob around in my life like a buoy on the Water. I am 35 years old, I work full time and I am also a full-time student. I am studying biology, which I think I'd like to teach.

Maybe some of the hostility comes from the fact that they've seen me go from a size 24 to a size 7, once before. I gained the weight back. Weight has been a life long battle for me. Here I am fighting the fight a second time and many of them complain they can't begin to stick to a diet.

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I understand this as well and it isn't in your head at all. I had a woman who was going to be doing my ultrasound (had an ovarian cyst) she was really kind of weird with me, I was smiling, being nice, playing the good patient, she pulled up my gown to put the ultrasound goop on and said "oh! did you have weightloss surgery?" (the scarring and all that jazz) I said I did and she became so comfortable with me, asking questions and smiling as well.

Now mind you I have lost nearly 50lbs and I still about 40 pounds away from goal, but I think some times people will judge you for the way you look - skinny, fat, in between, whatever and it is hurtful some times.

Good for you to feel good about yourself, your weight loss and your surgery, your commitment to keeping you happy, healthy and feeling great is what really matters.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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