Shrinking Violets Part 4

[Suziecat 379]

Morning.

Jenn, I wish there was something I could say or do to take all of your troubles away. Just know that I keep you in my prayers. I'm hoping that all will calm down for you soon.

Terri, I wish I was there.

I got up this morning and took off for a mile walk. I got back just in time for a storm to hit and it hit hard. No damage but lots of thunder and lightning and buckets of rain. So right in the middle of it guess who takes off for church, yup that's me. I made it soaking wet after I had just took a shower. lol.

Not sure if I will get any pool time today. They are calling for more storms later this afternoon. Like we need it.

Everyone have a great day.

[janiebug 0]

Good afternoon!!

Jenn, sorry you are feeling that way!! Sometimes it is hard to dig yourself out of that hole!! I believe in you!!!

Susie, did you ever go to Chicago? I hope things have calmed down for you!!

Tracyk, so glad all is okay in your world!!!

Judy, I didn't mention it before, but meant to, thank you so much for your countdown!!! I can't believe you did that EVERYDAY!!!

I am going over to my parents this afternoon and see my niece.

Would you believe that two weeks after burning my back is still red? It almost seems like a bruise that has traveled. Weird!! But, that day was so nice and relaxing!!!! I loved it!!!!

Everyone have a great day!!!

[TracyK 3]

good afternoon everyone

[Daisalana 33]

Jenn, sleep deprivation adds to depression and all that thinking isn't going to do you any good when you need rest. Have you tried sleeping pills? 2x unisom (over the counter) should help.

[Jennifur 0]

thanks for the kind words.

Today is just a sad day - I feel lost and as i was going out not that long ago, i don't think that anyone could possibly want to be with me,

although kev and i had issues, he always told me how proud of me he was, so out of no where for him to leave me just takes everything out of me.

i just wonder why i'm so horrible and i'm going to spend the rest of my life alone. Kind of sad isn't it.

well... on that happy note, I'm going to lie down and pray i can sleep, i'm not getting much of that these days either.

[Teachlady 3]

Good evening, Violets..

The Bobster and I had a very nice day today. Church services went well even though there were very few people. Then we headed to an outdoor wedding that Bob officiated at. It was just beautiful out by Lake Huron. It was a very simple, small wedding.. the bride's second and the groom's third. Hopefully Bob's words will stick this time!! We had lunch there... lots of really delish food. I did well with the eating until it came to the chocolate cheesecake. It was to die for. I told Bob we should have split a piece and he said no, he should have had both our pieces, it was that yummy.

We came home and I took a two hour nap and then headed to the pool for some exercising and relaxing. Between the heater and the sun, the Water temp was 92. I could have spent the whole night in the pool!!

Tomorrow is my hospital shift and then guess where I'm going...... right...the pool.

Jane.. as soon as we get a definite date from Haydee, it's countdown time again.

Off to watch some tv with Bob and then head to bed. Everyone have a good evening. sleep well.

[Jennifur 0]

Laura -

I'm not sure what I can or cannot take with the meds i'm on, which are really helping, a year ago i would be in bed for weeks!

I was going to wait to take the bathroom floor up but i will probably try to start that Tuesdy, when i was working to get everything finished, i was occupied, today was a lazy day and i had too much time to think

[janiebug 0]

Boy did we have bad storms and heavy rain today!!!

I hope all is okay with everyone this week!!!

[Suziecat 379]

Morning Girls.

I'm up and getting ready for work. Yuck.

I had a very terrible eating day yesterday. Seemed like if it was glued down I wanted to eat it. So today is back to the grind stone.

Other than that not much going on but I'm sure at some point my family will make sure that changes. Hopefully I will be able to get some pool time in today.

Everyone have a great day. I'll check in later today.

[Teachlady 3]

Good morning, Violets..

WELCOME HOME DR. PAM!!

I'm off to my hospital shift and then hitting the pool. Air temp. 51.... pool temp. 90 Life is good!

[Jennifur 0]

morning

thanks for letting me vent yesterday, don't feel any better today but it is another day and i'm still breathing.

I had to leave my cover off the pool and we had the cold night temps here last night so I'm afraid to look at how cold it is, but, I will be out floating in the sun if it ever comes out. DS is going with my aunt today so it is all about me.

We are not having a summer at all here, and i love heat so that is a problem. LOL

hope you all have a good day

[Haydee 2]

Jenn - I am so sorry for everything that you're going through. I went through a dark period in my life and the thing that saved me was first putting my problems into the hands of the Lord and second giving my time and effort into those less fortunate than me. Once I started getting involved I was able to stand back and take a clear look at my life and realize that my problems were very very insignificant compared to what some people were going through. It's impossible to do that when you're in the middle of your turmoil.

What I felt at the time, and what I think you feel, is a sense of worthlessness. I had no self esteem. Giving myself to others made me feel good that I could contribute and it brought me a sense of accomplishement and self worth. You need to find that for yourself...

Also I've never ever been one to be preachy or to try to push my religion on others but if you believe in God please please put your trust in him. Get involved in your church and see if it brings you peace. I know it did for me...

[Haydee 2]

How was everyones weekend?? Mine was ok. I started my period so this weekend I was just super sensitive and very weepy. Juan's little brother's birthday party was yesterday and his mom had it outside at her property. It was extremely hot and we were suffocating. And my middle sister made a joke about how if we had my wedding there outside and it was hot then she would leave. It was a joke of course but like I said, I've been a little weepy and that just pushed me over the edge. I started bawling and blubbering about how I feel like they are not being supportive. We are so torn and comflicted about where to have it and we are not closer to making a decision. The pros and cons of having it at the country club versus juan's mom's house:

Juan's mom house pros is that it's free and it's a beautiful place and it's free. Cons is that it's outside. We would have to find all the vendors ourselves and run the whole thing ourselves. Set up, breakdown, everything. Another con is that we have parties there almost every other weekend. When we have parties we break out the linens, the tablecloths, chair covers, the whole two yards. Juan feels like it would feel like every party we have, not like a wedding.

Country club pros is that it's a gorgeous location. The whole club to ourselves. Fully staffed and they would take care of everything. The only con is the price.

I went into this saying that I didn't want to spend a whole lot of money but now as I am getting into it and getting excited about everything I really want something elegant and beautiful. The type of dress that I love would not be condusive to an outdoor wedding. I want something beautiful and elegant and ballroom type.

And I'm blubbering again and sorry to keep going on and on about such pettyness... Just venting and trying to sort my own thoughts via this outlet... Just bear with me, LOL...

Ugh. Ok. We have one more venue to see tonight. This one is also beautiful and elegant and inside and we will see about the price...

[janiebug 0]

Haydee, I totally can understand what you want. I think this is a special event, one day in your life that you should let everyone else take care of details. You need to worry about NOTHING that day. Other than what every bride worries about!!! I totally say leave it all to someone else and have it inside. It is your day, live it don't work it!!

[Kat817 19]

Just dropping in to let you know I'm here.

Sorry you are so down Jenn. Having done the divorce thing in my life, as well as many other issues, I do understand the black hole you find yourself in. When I got out of my marriage, and realized he really wanted to kill me, I felt so worthless-----was I SO bad I had people wanting me to cease being? And how stupid was I---picking someone like him, and being stupid enough to fall for his lies. I allowed myself to think maybe he was right!

It was a terrible point in my life---------a death of the dreams I had hoped our life would be, as well as the death of my innocense at what life can actually be like. I was raised in a way, those things never even crossed my mind!

Much like Haydee said, I had a friend who listened non stop to what I cried about, and supported me, and repeated to me regularly to "let go and let God" deal with it for you. I went to church, but I went in selfishly, and every word out of the ministers mouth I tried to fit into my situation, and tried to get something from it, and nothing was fitting. Then come time for vacation Bible School. I volunteered to help, because Manda was going to be there, and I was still insecure feeling, and seldom if ever let her out of my sight---the world was suddenly a VERY scary place.

We have a Navajo Methodist Mission in Farmington, and we went over and picked the kids up every day and brought them back to VBS. During the week, one of the mission kids--which are there for a variety of reasons, mostly neglect and abuse in their own homes---it is a large group home type place. I saw kids who had been hurt--and there come an issue with bullying from one of the kids----so they had a special morning meeting, for us as teachers, and then brought the kids in, and talked to them about it----and I finally found a sermon directed at my heart! NOT someplace I expected it!

Allow yourself to feel the pain, but don't let it take you over---you ARE stronger than it, if for no other reason, you want your kids to see first hand how to deal with lifes big hurts.

We love you and you know you can vent here anytime.

You too Haydee---I see your pros and cons very clearly. To me, if it is going to be too hot, and your only option at your MIL's is an outdoor wedding, then that alone puts it out of the running. Maybe a nice engagement party later one evening, with little lights, and lots of candles, to make it romantic. Or an engagement brunch--done early in the day--anytime it is not AS hot!!! Do it there so that it is part of your celebration, but allow someone else to do the work on the wedding. It seems reasonable to me, if you want a ballroom wedding, to then have a ballroom!!! LOL

Is there any way to barter any of your expenses? Allow parties at the house you have with MIL, in exchange for something for YOUR wedding? Or would MIL not go for that? Might be something to consider with a wedding planner, it would benefit you both.

Well Rick is madly building a trailer for some friends of ours......so guess I will go see if I can help.

His leg is looking ok, still really bruised, and his eye--we are guessing from the force of impact, or maybe even the spike in BP from the adrenalin, has a broken blood vessel or 2 in it, and the white of his eye is bloody. It is not injured and not dangerous, should absorb in 10-14 days. Til then he looks like he said the wrong thing and I poked him!!!

He is contemplating whether to leave the dent in his tank as a medal of honor for what the bike withstood--or whether to remove it, and repair it. The headers are just going to be the dented way they are, there is no option for repairing them....kinda sad, the bike looked GREAT!!!

BBL--or will at least try.

Anyone in need of some clothes, I'm guessing a 20 in size????? Know anyone needing any??