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The fat girl at the party.



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You know what I take satisfaction from? I can lose the weight but insensitive people are handicapped for life.

Too true! Everyone has some cross to bare, some of mine are just shown on the outside. Luckily I get this chance to change that.

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Everyone has such good points! I know how it is to feel this way too and living in a college town with a huge amount of gorgeous people I have gotten into some introverted habits as well. I have a wonderful boyfriend, but I give him so much credit for not being a shallow man. He has had friends (well now not-so-much friends) that have given him a hard time for being with me. He won't say it, but I can tell it is because if my weight. At first I would let this get to me, like I felt sorry for him when we were out, but he has made me feel so much better. While I am so happy I will be getting banded soon because it will help me be so much healthier and open my world up, we are beautiful people at our weight. I just can't wait to feel more of that confidence on my own and then to have others just telling me what I am already seeing in the mirror. I am a happy person and my weight has covered some of my smile and laughter. I think that as I am making this decision to really care for myself through a drastic process and hard work the confidence and inner happiness will shine even more brightly because there will be less to fight through. Hope that makes some amount of sense.:thumbup:

I hope everything works out for you!! You will do great with the band!! Keep the confidence up girl!:lol:

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i have to add my 2 cents here and say that it is alll about confidence! at close to my heaviest weight I went out and started talking to guys and was confident and would meet someone each night and my skinny and drop deap gorguess friend would ask me how i did it... At about 40 pounds lighter weight, i wasnt confident and was trying to get attention, met no one and had a series of horrible nights till i decided stuff it, im just going to be myself, and have a great night with the girls. That night, i met my current partner, who I am about to get engaged to. So hope that helps you =)

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Well I've always been insecure. lol I went through really awkward years in my early teens(about 20lbs overweight, horrible acne:pizza face, braces, horrible dressing/hair) lol But when I started growing out of that I met alot of different guys and I was between 170-190, I'm sorry but I'm personally turned off by guys that find really skinny girls attractive. However then my thyroid went off and I was a shut-in for 3 years and gained 90lbs. I think it was the sleeping 15 hours a day that made me feel the most unattractive. It really has to do about personality and confidence sometimes though, I can say that I've had a LOT more attention recently now that I'm back to 167lbs.

As I've gone down in weight you start to realize how sensitive an issue being fat is. It's sad that people look down on you for it, but I am so thankful that my family and awesome b/f stood by me through weight gain and weight loss and loved me the whole time. And unfortunately a lot of people don't have that. That's why this forum is amazing, because we all know what it's like.

Sorry if that was really long-and somehow turned into a I-Love-Lapband-Talk! lol

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OMG I can SO relate. I'm always the wingman. I'm always the in-girl. Like: "hey can you get me in with your friend?" I HATE IT! I am so looking forward to being the IT girl!

And I can't wait to turn down (when they come aknockin' - cause you know they will!) the same guys who won't pay me any mind now.

Such is life. You're gorgeous anyway, and any guy who wouldn't want to even get to know you, regardless of your weight, isn't even worth your time!

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Hey girl you are beautiful. I totally know what your going through I even went so far as to find other fat girls to hang out with so I didn't have to compete for attention. Guys and yes us girls too are shallow. I've had guys that wanted to have "secret" relationships with me! How freaking lame can you get. Yea they wanna fool around but they don't want anyone to know. It will get better my dear you will find a guy who loves you for you and what you bring to a relationship. Hope all is well with you.

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Hey girl you are beautiful. I totally know what your going through I even went so far as to find other fat girls to hang out with so I didn't have to compete for attention. Guys and yes us girls too are shallow. I've had guys that wanted to have "secret" relationships with me! How freaking lame can you get. Yea they wanna fool around but they don't want anyone to know. It will get better my dear you will find a guy who loves you for you and what you bring to a relationship. Hope all is well with you.

I've been introduced to a guys friends as his cousin - when we were out together. Talk about embarassing! Little did I know I was obviously too huge to be introduced as a girl he was hooking up with. SO LAME.

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I've been introduced to a guys friends as his cousin - when we were out together. Talk about embarassing! Little did I know I was obviously too huge to be introduced as a girl he was hooking up with. SO LAME.

oh man, that's horrible. maybe he's just not into having a girlfriend of any size...and if you were some skinny chick he might have done the same? who knows...if not, eff him.

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Thanks for the responses guys! And MicheleClaire I'm sorry but any guy introducing you as his cousin has issues of his own and you don't need a part of that!

Its been a few months since I first posted I think I was 220 when I did (judging from my excitement of losing 20 pounds haha) and it was in May, BUT in January now I am 159 (!!!!) just 4 pounds away from being a healthy BMI! Things are going so much better for me, and seriously now my girlfriends have to help me out because I assume when guys take my number or are talking to me more than a usual amount its to be friends like I am used to.

How are all of you doing? Lets hear these updates! and Newer lapbanders truust me it will get there, I love this thing!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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