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Telling the kids



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Sorry, I missed that! My younger granddaughter is 12. I pretty much told her what I said above .... that I was tired of being fat and that I found out that the doctor could help me with this problem. And Hannah, bless her heart, said "I love you fat or not Mimi, but if it will make you happier then it's cool".

And don't get me wrong -- I certainly don't recommend hauling out medical journals and giving the child an impromptu symposium. I've a degree in physics and symposia drive me batty. I'd much rather watch Cosmos, Nova, or some other not-tedious but not-dumbed-down synopsis.

You have to gauge what the child has interest and therefore attention span for, naturally. Just don't underestimate either. Getting them involved, I'll assert, is more likely to help than annoy.

At least, before puberty. :scared2:

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My daughters are 4, 7, and 12 (plus 24 and 26) and they all know. My older ones have known for quite awhile that I'm working toward the surgery. Now that it's scheduled, I've told the little ones too.

My 7 year old is chubby herself and I know she worries about her own weight. That was the part that was particularly difficult for me. I tell her we just need to be the healthiest we can be and that I love her just the way she is. I worry that she's thinking "Well, then why do YOU need this surgery?" She didn't articulate that, exactly.

I told her that once you're a grown up and you have gained SO much weight, it's much, much harder to successfully lose the weight without some help from the doctors, and that's what I'm getting is some help. I told her that if she keeps working with our family to be healthy now and all her life, hopefully she'll never have to face this same problem that Mommy is facing.

I've also told them that the experts are learning more and more about proper nutrition and what causes obesity every year. That some of what they used to think ends up being wrong and it is partially because of that bad information that so many people are struggling with obesity now. (I'm referring to the message behind the book Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes as I am a big believer in his hypothesis on nutrition and obesity, etc.)

I don't think I said TOO much. I wanted them to feel free to ask questions. My 7 year old asked the most questions. The other two were either "Cool, whatever." or "Can I watch SpongeBob?" so they didn't ask much.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

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