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Hello everyone. I just joined last night. I've not had surgery yet but had my first consult with my family doctor last week and he has referring me to a surgeon. I'm hoping to

be able to get some information here as to what I can expect and also find some support amongst people who've been through what I will experience. I've looked for other places online to find support and only found a few places that have very sporadic activity. I was grateful to find this forum last night.

I'm 34, a mother of 4 kids, engaged to a wonderful man, live in

Canada, and have two hectic and stressful jobs. I'm very active but have some health and physical problems from my weight. Despite diet and exercise I've not been able to lose anything. I'm looking to lose about 200 pounds. I want to do this while I am still young and my weight hasn't caused Diabetes or affected my blood pressure or heart.

To be honest I'm terrified to have this surgery, but mostly because I have never been thin and have no way to imagine what I will be like after I lose weight. I'm afraid I'll lose my identity. Yes I'm seeing a counselor and will be working on this issue. I'd just like to talk with others in a situation similar to mine.

I've been reading the body dysmorphia thread and can relate to everything said.

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To be honest I'm terrified to have this surgery, but mostly because I have never been thin and have no way to imagine what I will be like after I lose weight. I'm afraid I'll lose my identity. Yes I'm seeing a counselor and will be working on this issue. I'd just like to talk with others in a situation similar to mine.

I know exactly what you are feeling. I was scared, nervous, happy, anxious, and a whole heap of emotions, prior to surgery. I was banded July 29, 2005. I have lost 14lbs since surgery and am currently stuck. I won't get my first fill till September 14th. I am and was heavy alll my life. My highest weight was in September 2004 I weighed 327lbs on a 5' 2" frame. Yikes. I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes & had suffered from high BP since my highschool days. I went on a low carb (10 carb a day diet per a Reg. dietician) and lost 24 lbs. At my initial consult with my surgeon in May 2005 I weighed 314. I now weigh 280lbs. I am 33 years old. I have been heavy, fat, obese, morbid obese since age 2 or 3. chocolate is my enemy. I like food period. I dont know what it is like to be a healthy weight or what kind of person I will be. I know I am a huge person with a heart of gold now, I hope and pray that I am a "normal" size person with that same heart of gold when I reach my goal. My goal is 150lbs or less. Best of luck to you!

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I don't think I got the fear of losing my identity til after I had the surgery. But I'm okay now. It took me a while though. I think what you are feeling is normal though. If you didn't have those thoughts & feelings I would think you had issues. LOL! You came to the best place in the world for support though! The folks here are awesome & can answer just about any question or fear you have! Best of luck to you & welcome to Bandland!.....Jess

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Thank you so much for your replies. With me it's any food. It doesn't have to be sweets. I do lean towards carbs. Last night I had two Soup bowls of steamed rice with butter and soy sauce on it. I could eat rice until I pop (and I'm well on my way). Rice and potatoes and bread are my downfall. I binge emotionally and really have to deal with that. I'm afraid but I'm excited and impatient. I want to have my surgery asap. I'm tired of being the fat mom, the fat neighbour, the fat coworker. I'm tired of waking up in pain every morning. I'm tired of not being able to shop for clothes. I'm tired of knowing my health is at risk.

I'm a lucky one because the entire procecdure is covered by insurance where I live. I just wanted to say I feel bad for those of you who have to pay for it, but it shows how dedicated you are, and how much you want a healthier life, to be spending thousands of dollars on this procedure and the follow up treatment.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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