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Ok so my boyfriends sister and I have been really good friends for a long time..even before her brother and I started dating like 4 years ago.. well just recently she has been working out with me and doing the whole diet thing.. keep in mind she is about 185 pds.. she only weighs 20 pds less than me..i thought it was cool that we were working out together and eating you know the same meals and stuff..well i was wrong :smile2:

everytime we work out she has to do better than me?? i mean i know its cool to be competitive but not blow it way out of porportion ya know? example: im on the elliptical burning 600 cal. well she is going to do it 610 cal..then she does it on each machine...this happens everytime and i guess i maybe over reacting but she tries to rub it in my face!!:mad2:

yesterday we brought are food to school..the chili i made the night before..well i measured out a cup and took it with me..we were about to warm our food up and i look over and she has about a 1/2 cup of food.. and i just looked at her.. i was being funny and was like "what are you trying to be me?" she said no lol i have less food than you!!!?????!?!!?!?

then she smirked..wow i dont know what to do??

now that im getting closer to her weight she is acting soooo weird.. dont know what to say..:sneaky::hurray:

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That is one very unfortunate part of trying to lose weight with others. Jealousy is an evil thing and can hinder people's success. I would sit down with your friend and tell her that it makes you uncomfortable to always have to have a competition. Tell her you need her to help support you, and you want to be able to support her. For that to happen you need to be united not divided because of her jealousy. Your number one goal is to lose weight and become healthier and there should be no competition on that especially if she is a good friend.

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i know it would be nice to just sit down and have this talk with her.. but.. she is begining to piss me off.. and im kinda at the point if she wants competition..well here it comes ya know? i know i want to be the better person and kinda just be nice about or whatever..but come on..

its getting old...

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I definitely hear you on that. Maybe it is time to start going to the gym on your own for a while or only going with her one time a week. Do your thing independently, and maybe not have weight loss, dieting, or exercise a part of your friendship. I mean still do your normal thing but have that be a topic that is not brought up. Use the aggression and annoyance that this situation is causing you and work your butt off. After a while maybe she will stop making it such a big problem between the two of you.

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I feel bad reading this bc I do the same thing with the competition. BUT the difference is that I don't say anything. I make sure I downplay what I did- I never ever mention how many calories I burned or how many miles I went. I just have a competitive streak in me- whenever I go to the gym with someone- I make myself do at least a little better than the other person. I KNOW- I'm ashamed. :blink:

It's good to have a little competition- but the main focus of working out with someone is to have Support. That's what's important. If she's no longer supporting you then you may have to distance yourself a little bit.

I know it's a hard situation- I wish you the best!

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i know its normal to have competition...everyone does it.. it just makes me kinda like wtf... i will be fine with it.. i was just pissed off really bad about it yesterday..so i needed to vent!! THANKS...lol

but i think the way im going to deal with it is take the competition and hopefully it will make me more motivated... we will see how it goes

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You know,I had that same problem with a girl I used to be friends with. She was competitive over everything. She actually made herself physically ill trying to one up me at the gym! I had to stop hanging out with her because she was just out of line. Im sorry your friend is doing that...hopefully you two can talk about it.

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It seems to me she has that attitude of "see I don't need Surgery to get healthy" attitude. My sister has that. She does weight watchers and goes to the gym RELIGIOUSLY. And now she's in a predicament that she just had a baby in March and is trying to lose the 40lbs she gained. She looked down upon me when I mentioned my surgery, and at my nieces christening, She sat next to me while I ate, and Monitered everything on my plate, and when I mentioned that I couldn't really eat a lot of what she ordered, her words were "whose fault is that?" even the salad she had I couldn't eat because I'm allergic to Bleu cheese which was sprinkled all over the salad.

There are people That want to see us fail. And the point is to turn around and say "F*ck em". Only YOU know what is good for you. There is always going to be someone who pisses you off and tries to derail you from your success.

Women are the worst. Everything is a competition. SO you need to sit her down, and as someone said above, start doing things on your own, because eventually it will interfere in your relationship. She's his sister, Your his girl, and if she starts running her mouth to him, you will seem defensive when he confronts you on it. Just Worry about you, and your health. She in all honesty can suck it. Because in the end, she'll fall off the rails, and you will still be striving.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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