Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Should this bother me???



Recommended Posts

Okay so today I am at the park enjoying a brisk walk with my dog. This guy (who I must say was rather cute) was walking the opposite direction. We passed each other several times with each mile. After the third mile he looks at me and gives me a big clap like "way to go". I wasn't out of breath or struggling in any way so the poor self esteem side of me thinks he is cheering on the fat girl like wow you have already walked 3 miles and are still going. The other side of me thinks he was just being nice and encouraging, but he never clapped for the runners around me or anyone else. I guess I felt very singled out like "way to go fat girl keep up the walking". Am I crazy to feel this way? I totally have major self esteem issues.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How do you know he didn't like you and was just flirting with you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would take it as like a HIGH 5. It was encouragement and I think you should take it in the spirit it was probably givin. I think it was nice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would take it the same way you did...I have self-esteem issues as well...but keep up the good work and don't let anyone bother you =]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How do you know he didn't used to be overweight and is impressed with your grit? How do you know he isn't dreadfully shy and had to work up the courage to get your attention? Forget your self esteem, why assume something mean of him?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

same thing happened to me years ago, and i felt like saying "just leave me alone & let me jog" LOL. but now i just see it as a nice gesture. hey, maybe he's a personal trainer and is just offering motivation?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My guess, he was flirting. Men aren't very good at flirting sometimes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My guess, he was flirting. Men aren't very good at flirting sometimes.

LOL, aint that the truth :) If that would have happened to me, I would have thought he recognized I was out working my ass off on my journey to become the hot woman trapped inside! :thumbup:

Dont give it much thought.

Keep up the good work!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone, I'll choose the glass half full approach. I have an issue where I assume any attention is negative.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You should absolutely take it as the compliment he intended because you deserved it :smile2:

When I first started going to my gym, I was about 260 lbs. I would do this complicated sort of walk-jog where I'd walk about 3 minutes and jog about 3 minutes. One day, this personal trainer who was always there walks up to me out of the blue and says, "You're doing a great job." It made my day - it may have been what kept me exercising all this time. I mean, in being realistic with myself, it was quite obvious at the time that I wasn't exactly in shape and I know that she was honestly impressed by the amount of effort I was putting into improving my quality of life.

Keep up the hard work and make sure you smile when people notice that you're kicking butt!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would take it as a compliment also. Just hang in there. It is all worth it.

jazie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was in the losing mode I was running. I was bored running on my treadmill so I started running outside. But... I did it at night when nobody could see me. ;o)

Well, one night I met ne'ked guy peering in the windows of an apartment complex. Notice I write peering IN the window, he was on the outside.

I had my cell so I called 911. By the time they got there ne'ked guy was gone but they sat in their car and watched while I finished running through the park since it was 1AM. When I was done they both gave me a thumbs up, flashed their lights, and waited for me to get in the house. No doubt it was "YEA FAT GIRL!" but I believe the intent was sincere. Policemen are usually very much into fitness and exercise and they probably knew this was hard, very hard. I took it in the spirit intended.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Like Wasa and the others have said, take it in a good way. It probably WAS a "hooray to the fat girl" BUT how GREAT that he felt the need to encourage you to keep going! Instead of trying to encourage you, he could have been heckling you and TRYING to make you feel bad. If he's a regular, I'm sure he's seen LOTS of fat people out there struggling to get around one time and giving up after a day or 2. His seeing you on your THIRD mile probably impressed him greatly.

It's HARD to exercise when you're fat. I don't WANT to do it. I tend to TRY to find an excuse to NOT do it! BUT the last few weeks I've been getting my DD in her stroller, the dog on her leash and getting my big butt outside to walk my neighborhood. Almost everyday! I am arranging my schedule now to make sure my mornings are free to be able to walk and have time for a shower after. I bought a pedometer to motivate myself b/c those low number days just totally SUCK and they piss me off!! And shock of all shocks, I am LIKING my walks now!!! I get pissy when I can't take one or they get shortened or messed up somehow! LOL!

A lot of us have self-esteem issues. It's something we need to work on. I, personally, had to stop the negative self-talk. I used to call myself stupid, dumb, idiot, whatever the situation, I thought, called for. Well, it dawned on me one day that I don't feel so good about myself. Well, why should I when I don't like myself enough to not call myself names? I don't call my friends names (for the most part! LOL!) so why am I doing that to myself? I really had to change my thought process. It took a lot of time and conscious thought but I have changed how I think about myself. Ya gotta work on the head stuff almost more than the physical stuff!

And Wasa! Congrats on staying out there and finishing your run even with the cops watching! I'd have gone home! LOL!

And now, I'll close the dang BOOK I just wrote!! LOL!

'Night!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And Wasa! Congrats on staying out there and finishing your run even with the cops watching! I'd have gone home! LOL!

And now, I'll close the dang BOOK I just wrote!! LOL!

'Night!

I was kinda glad they were there, ne'ked guy was still around. ;o)

You know, we really can't be pleased. If people ignore us... we feel ignored. If they diss us, we become angry. If they encourage us we are just sure they are insulting us.

If we lose weight and someone doesn't notice we are insulted. If they do noticed we don't want them to discuss it.

We really can't be pleased.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was kinda glad they were there, ne'ked guy was still around. ;o)

You know, we really can't be pleased. If people ignore us... we feel ignored. If they diss us, we become angry. If they encourage us we are just sure they are insulting us.

If we lose weight and someone doesn't notice we are insulted. If they do noticed we don't want them to discuss it.

We really can't be pleased.

I completely agree with you. {I usually do! Scary! LOL!}

Including them sticking around. It really was the only thing they could do. That would have sucked had they left you out there. 'Course that would have been different had they had an emergency to go to!

In my situation, I haven't told many people. I don't want the whole world to know, yet I want to share about things. But I really don't want everyone to know [yes, I realize I said that twice.]!

I think that's women in general. A lot of us don't want to be the center of attention (me!) BUT we're PO'd if no one notices the things we do, for others, for family, for work, for whomever. If we accomplish something (esp major) on our own, we don't want to be fawned over but we still want others to notice what we've done.

My DH pretty much does all the laundry. :thumbdown: And yet, I bitch about how he folds things! Um, HELLOOOOO, he just did ALL the laundry and you didn't have to walk your fat butt downstairs umpteen million times to deal with it and you're complaining!!!! Yeah, I'm working on that one.

I think, in general, women are never happy about things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×