Okay so today I am at the park enjoying a brisk walk with my dog. This guy (who I must say was rather cute) was walking the opposite direction. We passed each other several times with each mile. After the third mile he looks at me and gives me a big clap like "way to go". I wasn't out of breath or struggling in any way so the poor self esteem side of me thinks he is cheering on the fat girl like wow you have already walked 3 miles and are still going. The other side of me thinks he was just being nice and encouraging, but he never clapped for the runners around me or anyone else. I guess I felt very singled out like "way to go fat girl keep up the walking". Am I crazy to feel this way? I totally have major self esteem issues.

How do you know he didn't like you and was just flirting with you?

I would take it as like a HIGH 5. It was encouragement and I think you should take it in the spirit it was probably givin. I think it was nice.

I would take it the same way you did...I have self-esteem issues as well...but keep up the good work and don't let anyone bother you =]

How do you know he didn't used to be overweight and is impressed with your grit? How do you know he isn't dreadfully shy and had to work up the courage to get your attention? Forget your self esteem, why assume something mean of him?

same thing happened to me years ago, and i felt like saying "just leave me alone & let me jog" LOL. but now i just see it as a nice gesture. hey, maybe he's a personal trainer and is just offering motivation?

My guess, he was flirting. Men aren't very good at flirting sometimes.

My guess, he was flirting. Men aren't very good at flirting sometimes.

LOL, aint that the truth If that would have happened to me, I would have thought he recognized I was out working my ass off on my journey to become the hot woman trapped inside! :thumbup:

Dont give it much thought.

Keep up the good work!

Thanks everyone, I'll choose the glass half full approach. I have an issue where I assume any attention is negative.

You should absolutely take it as the compliment he intended because you deserved it :smile2:

When I first started going to my gym, I was about 260 lbs. I would do this complicated sort of walk-jog where I'd walk about 3 minutes and jog about 3 minutes. One day, this personal trainer who was always there walks up to me out of the blue and says, "You're doing a great job." It made my day - it may have been what kept me exercising all this time. I mean, in being realistic with myself, it was quite obvious at the time that I wasn't exactly in shape and I know that she was honestly impressed by the amount of effort I was putting into improving my quality of life.

Keep up the hard work and make sure you smile when people notice that you're kicking butt!

I would take it as a compliment also. Just hang in there. It is all worth it.

jazie

When I was in the losing mode I was running. I was bored running on my treadmill so I started running outside. But... I did it at night when nobody could see me. ;o)

Well, one night I met ne'ked guy peering in the windows of an apartment complex. Notice I write peering IN the window, he was on the outside.

I had my cell so I called 911. By the time they got there ne'ked guy was gone but they sat in their car and watched while I finished running through the park since it was 1AM. When I was done they both gave me a thumbs up, flashed their lights, and waited for me to get in the house. No doubt it was "YEA FAT GIRL!" but I believe the intent was sincere. Policemen are usually very much into fitness and exercise and they probably knew this was hard, very hard. I took it in the spirit intended.

Like Wasa and the others have said, take it in a good way. It probably WAS a "hooray to the fat girl" BUT how GREAT that he felt the need to encourage you to keep going! Instead of trying to encourage you, he could have been heckling you and TRYING to make you feel bad. If he's a regular, I'm sure he's seen LOTS of fat people out there struggling to get around one time and giving up after a day or 2. His seeing you on your THIRD mile probably impressed him greatly.

It's HARD to exercise when you're fat. I don't WANT to do it. I tend to TRY to find an excuse to NOT do it! BUT the last few weeks I've been getting my DD in her stroller, the dog on her leash and getting my big butt outside to walk my neighborhood. Almost everyday! I am arranging my schedule now to make sure my mornings are free to be able to walk and have time for a shower after. I bought a pedometer to motivate myself b/c those low number days just totally SUCK and they piss me off!! And shock of all shocks, I am LIKING my walks now!!! I get pissy when I can't take one or they get shortened or messed up somehow! LOL!

A lot of us have self-esteem issues. It's something we need to work on. I, personally, had to stop the negative self-talk. I used to call myself stupid, dumb, idiot, whatever the situation, I thought, called for. Well, it dawned on me one day that I don't feel so good about myself. Well, why should I when I don't like myself enough to not call myself names? I don't call my friends names (for the most part! LOL!) so why am I doing that to myself? I really had to change my thought process. It took a lot of time and conscious thought but I have changed how I think about myself. Ya gotta work on the head stuff almost more than the physical stuff!

And Wasa! Congrats on staying out there and finishing your run even with the cops watching! I'd have gone home! LOL!

And now, I'll close the dang BOOK I just wrote!! LOL!

'Night!

And Wasa! Congrats on staying out there and finishing your run even with the cops watching! I'd have gone home! LOL!

And now, I'll close the dang BOOK I just wrote!! LOL!

'Night!

I was kinda glad they were there, ne'ked guy was still around. ;o)

You know, we really can't be pleased. If people ignore us... we feel ignored. If they diss us, we become angry. If they encourage us we are just sure they are insulting us.

If we lose weight and someone doesn't notice we are insulted. If they do noticed we don't want them to discuss it.

We really can't be pleased.

I was kinda glad they were there, ne'ked guy was still around. ;o)

You know, we really can't be pleased. If people ignore us... we feel ignored. If they diss us, we become angry. If they encourage us we are just sure they are insulting us.

If we lose weight and someone doesn't notice we are insulted. If they do noticed we don't want them to discuss it.

We really can't be pleased.

I completely agree with you. {I usually do! Scary! LOL!}

Including them sticking around. It really was the only thing they could do. That would have sucked had they left you out there. 'Course that would have been different had they had an emergency to go to!

In my situation, I haven't told many people. I don't want the whole world to know, yet I want to share about things. But I really don't want everyone to know [yes, I realize I said that twice.]!

I think that's women in general. A lot of us don't want to be the center of attention (me!) BUT we're PO'd if no one notices the things we do, for others, for family, for work, for whomever. If we accomplish something (esp major) on our own, we don't want to be fawned over but we still want others to notice what we've done.

My DH pretty much does all the laundry. :thumbdown: And yet, I bitch about how he folds things! Um, HELLOOOOO, he just did ALL the laundry and you didn't have to walk your fat butt downstairs umpteen million times to deal with it and you're complaining!!!! Yeah, I'm working on that one.

I think, in general, women are never happy about things.

I agree with the others. See this as a glass half full. :thumbdown: Cheer YOURSELF on through this journey and accept others cheers too! The more encouragement you accept, the more successful you will be.