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Hey All,

I'm very new to this and never thought I would think of having weight loss surgery but for the past few months that's exactly what I have been thinking. I'm not sure how my friends and relatives will view me and I feel weak for the fact I can't lose and keep it off myself so I think how will this be different. Did/Does anyone else feel this way?

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At first I felt weightloss surgery was "the easy way out", but I was so big I felt there was no way I could lose the weight by myself.....so I struggled a little with self disgust in the beginning. I first started to realize that maybe there was more to weightloss surgery than I had thought after I went to a seminar. Then I got hooked up with lapbandtalk and started lurking about, reading posts and generally making an ass out of myself. It was only after I was banded that I fully realized that there is A LOT of work involved with being banded. I'm at the point now that I'm proud of the fact that having a band is alot of work (sure, I still have quite a bit of weight left to lose.....but I'm getting there). I would suggest that you do research on all the weightloss surgeries and pick the best fit for you. Good luck!

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Hey Plain, Thanks for replying. I guess I'm just confused right now. I'm looking at all my options. I just know where I'm heading if I don't do something now. I've saw it time and time again with my mom. I understand this is going to be hard from reading all the posts. The issue with me is that yes I can lose the weight but I can't keep it off like many of the other people I gain it back and then some.

I think so far I have some good advocates on my side but how did you all tell the ones that you didn't think would be supportive or did you just hide it?

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I know exactly how you are feeling. Why can I not do this myself. Why am I . . .

This is the start of something positive and for you and for me. We are doing this for the correct reasons. Health--no more sore knees, no more whatever.

As for friends and relatives. I think they would rather have you here on the planet than have a serious health issue or not be here at all.

Good luck

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Hey Plain, Thanks for replying. I guess I'm just confused right now. I'm looking at all my options. I just know where I'm heading if I don't do something now. I've saw it time and time again with my mom. I understand this is going to be hard from reading all the posts. The issue with me is that yes I can lose the weight but I can't keep it off like many of the other people I gain it back and then some.

I think so far I have some good advocates on my side but how did you all tell the ones that you didn't think would be supportive or did you just hide it?

That's where I fall. I can lose weight. I can white knuckle and keep it off but I simply cannot happily live my life white knuckling through every event that has food involved. I am not telling people about the band. I dont want the criticism right now. I need my head to be quiet and my corner to filled w/only those I know will be good cheerleaders. My mom and my husband are it for now and perhaps later I'll add others to the list but I dont want the food police and I dont want the discussion that I feel like will inevitably happen behind my back.

I dont consider it "hiding" I think it's making a plan for me to be successful. Somebody here said in another post (dont remember where or who sorry) that we've basically become a society where if you keep things private you are considered a liar. That really resounded with me, I dont need to share everything about my self for the sake of honesty. Honestly some things simply are not anybody elses business. :0) I have to remind myself of that sometimes.

Good luck with your decisions!

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Thanks for your words of encouragement. You are right that some things need to be your own and not everyone needs to know. I just sent in my information today for the approval process. I guess I keep thinking what will be my next step if I'm denied?

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Once I had the surgery I kept it just within my very close knit family... But then as I began to lose the weight I started my blog and posting online and when people ask how I lost it ... I say Portion Control and exercise... with the help of the Lapband. I haven't had one negative comment yet.... Which has suprised me.

Good luck!

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Hey Brandy, I checked out your pics and blog and you are doing so great. Congratulations!

Thanks! I feel like a totally different person.

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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