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Feeling very disgusted with myself



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I am 2 months post op now. I am down around 30lbs. But over the last few weeks, I am not seeing my lbs drop and I have actually saw it go up about 3 lbs only to eventually come back down a couple. My meals are much more than what I should be able to get down. I have had one fill. 2cc's is all he put in and I was told he would never put anymore than 1cc at a time from here on out. However, when I start to eat, after the first bite or two, I just got to put my fork down and wait for a few minutes till the food gets down and after that I am generally ok to finish eating. I go back to the doctor Mar. 5th and I can get another fill if I fill like I need it. I really do think I need more restriction but even as it is right now, as I said, the first couple bites dont really go down smooth but after the initial shock of the first couple bites, it all goes down ok and I find myself eating to much to get filled. My body feels like I am still just as big as before banding. I'm just disgusted right now.

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Don't be discouraged! We all go through the discrepency between what we know and what we see with our wt loss. Our eyes lie to us particularly when they are tainted by our emotions and years of negative self-talk. Listen to your clothes! Keep the faith. Don't give up.

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Dont be so hard on yourself, it has taken years to form the habits and thoughts that occupy your mind and will take a while break those old habits and patterns of thought. Take pride in the fact that you took the first giant step by getting the lapband in the first place. I have weeks where I dont do great and feel that I have over done it. The great thing is if I realize that I am not doing as good as I should then I can claim ownership of my actions and try to do better. You dont have to be perfect, just do the best you can and feel good about it! You and the life that you want are worth it!

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Are you chewing enough? Occasionally I still have the problem where I am not paying attention and do not chew until it is mush. It feels like I swallowed a rock. Keep plugging, you are doing fine. Just keep following the rules.

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I want to feel like I am but that could be what is going on. I really keep it in my mind everytime I start to eat. I do notice that the more moist the food the better it goes in the first couple bites. However, I have a hard time getting chicken moist on the george foreman. It is not a problem with every meal I eat but it is for the majority of them and I want to feel I am very concsious of it when I start but maybe I do need a few more chews. My biggest problem as far as I am concerned is the fact that it still takes me way more food to get me to satisfaction than what I feel like it should take. Hope to remedy this come thursday. Thanks for all the post and keep them coming.

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i had the exact same problem. i had 7ccs! and i felt NO restrictions, at all. I was banded 6 weeks ago. and they wouldn't do a fill until then. make sure i was healed and everything.

i gained 6 pounds since my surgery date.

i had a fill today, and i can already tell the difference.

a lot of doctors are different. my doctor will only do 1cc the first time, and .5ccs each time after that.

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I went through the same thing. I have got discouraged several times since I was banded in October 08. I think we expect the weight to fall off and every day we should see the scale going down but it doesn't. Believe me, I KNOW!!!

My advise is to keep doing the right things. Eat small meals, get regular fills, exercise 3-5 days a week, don't drink with your meals, etc and in 3 months you WILL see a difference. In one year you won't recognize the person you are today. I have learned that my scale obsession is only hurting my enthusiasm.

Keep doing the right things and remember...The journey is the Reward, not the destination!!! It's all the things you learn in the process that makes you stronger, wiser and capable of acheiving your goals.

Good Luck!

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I am 2 months post op now. I am down around 30lbs. But over the last few weeks, I am not seeing my lbs drop and I have actually saw it go up about 3 lbs only to eventually come back down a couple. My meals are much more than what I should be able to get down. I have had one fill. 2cc's is all he put in and I was told he would never put anymore than 1cc at a time from here on out. However, when I start to eat, after the first bite or two, I just got to put my fork down and wait for a few minutes till the food gets down and after that I am generally ok to finish eating. I go back to the doctor Mar. 5th and I can get another fill if I fill like I need it. I really do think I need more restriction but even as it is right now, as I said, the first couple bites dont really go down smooth but after the initial shock of the first couple bites, it all goes down ok and I find myself eating to much to get filled. My body feels like I am still just as big as before banding. I'm just disgusted right now.

I was only a few weeks post op when the weight loss stopped and moved up a few pounds. As a walking hater...I hate to say it, but when I exercise the weight starts to come off again. I cant help you on the food getting stuck part yet, I dont get filled until Thursday.

You might be exercising (you just didnt mention it) so I thought I would throw that out.:)

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I am having this problem too. I have stepped up my exercise and still not loosing. I just started a food diary so I hope that will help. It is different seeing what you eat in print. Hope I turn around soon too.

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i have been banded for 4 years now and i was 14 when i had it done by Dr. George Fielding in NYU medical center... you will have times in which it will go slow... i have had 4 CC's at one time put in and i have had great progress... -120 pounds

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Wow, your post could have been me! I was so sure I was going to be the one in a million that wasn't going to need a fill! Crazy expectations. This Saturday will be 10 weeks post-op and I will be getting my first fill. We can do this, we just need stick to it and EXCERCISE!!!:blush:

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Onehotmomma, I guess the only thing different between you and me is your female and I am male. My journey started at 273, I was 268 on day of surg. and I was banded on 12/29/08. I have already had 1 fill of 2cc's and I go back tomorrow for what will probably be another 1cc. I realize it is a slow process and according to my doctor, they only expect 1 lb per week. I am down 30 so far to date, I have had to change my belt size, and am down a size in my pants. I think I'm losing my butt first. LOL. I just get frustrated with myself when I have to eat more than they tell me I should be able to handle. At this point post op, my meals should only be 4 to 6 oz. Thats a joke. Granted, I dont eat as much as I use to but sometimes I feel it is awfully close. We'll just keep on keepin on and hopefully everything will come together.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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