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Help don't want (boink)partner to know



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To me having the lapband is personal, now i have lost my weight i noticed, very noticeable even when surgeon repositioned as deep as he can a roung circle lice 20cent piece and where the tube starts, also scar from incission, i dont want a new prospective partner to know what i have done, what excuss can i use? hernia operation and scar tissue with prolapse now lost weight???? help suggestions i have problem enough with really sloppy thighs and bottom now,HHHHHHHHEEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP. Please.

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IMHO Why not just tell the truth. If you lie about it, you won't be getting off on the right foot. Your partner will wonder how many more lies have you told.

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I don't see the big deal, Ive told everybody i know, best decision Ive made. Id just come clean from the start, its not that big of a deal.

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yes, hernia surgery is the closest 'match'

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I think explaining the food issue will be harder. I have wondered what I will say about not being able to drink anything with my meal or for 1 hour afterwards and not being able to eat certain foods. Yes, I can order something and take the part home that I can't eat, but I am starting to think it would be easier to just say I was banded. If he has a problem with that, it isn't meant to be as I will be banded for life so if I ended up in a commited relationship he would need to know anyway for health reasons. I guess there's not a perfect answer.

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I think explaining the food issue will be harder. I have wondered what I will say about not being able to drink anything with my meal or for 1 hour afterwords and not being able to eat certain foods. Yes, I can order something and take the part home that I can't eat, but I am starting to think it would be easier to just say I was banded. If he has a problem with that, it isn't meant to be as I will be banded for life so if I ended up in a committed relationship he would need to know anyway for health reasons. I guess there's not a perfect answer.

Yeah, i say its just easier to tell the truth, if the person cant accept you for that, or has a problem that you used to be overweight, than you don't need them anyways, and will be better off finding somebody that accepts you for who you are now or then and who you used to be.

Just my $.02

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If you aren't going to tell the truth (especially to someone with whom you are going to be that intimate) then just don't say anything. If asked, just say its not important now.

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I agree with restless monkey, we oftern try to find solutions to things we think might be a problem and they end up not being a problem at all. Tell the truth, hopefully he will be supportive and if not drop him before he get the GOODS!!!!!!

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I agree with hernia or gallbladder if you feel you must not divulge about the band, but really it would just be easier to say band if someone asks.

I think that unless your partner is very observant, you wont even get a question until you have been with someone for a long time.

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Hmmm, there's no WAY you could miss my port, you can feel the tubing too. I'd go with the hernia operation explanation if you dont want to say anything just yet.

Doug doesnt have to feel for my port with his hand, he can feel it when he hugs me. Anyone could actually see it if they were looking at my bare stomach. You wouldnt need great powers of observation.

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Hmmm, there's no WAY you could miss my port, you can feel the tubing too. I'd go with the hernia operation explanation if you dont want to say anything just yet.

Doug doesnt have to feel for my port with his hand, he can feel it when he hugs me. Anyone could actually see it if they were looking at my bare stomach. You wouldnt need great powers of observation.

Yep that is exactly what mine is like. These damn Aussie docors eh? But I would not remove my band and do not regret at all.

You nice Americans , I Tthink are alot more at ease re lapbanding as as I can see by the members on this site and sites I looked at for info, all the feedback and information from you guys is great.

I can eat everything, I am 1 and a half years out, and boy oh boy what a difference it has made to my life.

I have to eat and drink when I am taking my tablets otherwise there is terrible terrible burning in my throat.

Hope everyone doing as well as I did, and here's to me informative and friendly,helpful discussions on here.

All the best everyone. God Bless.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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