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Serious Second Thoughts



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I'm scheduled for surgery on 2/18 and am having SERIOUS second thoughts. I'm 24 years old, just got engaged and am considering a job change to be closer to home. It's been a hectic start to the year and I'm feeling overwhelmed and terrified.

I didn't have any doubts until I got approved a few weeks ago - then the anxiety set in. I want to be healthy and eat 'normally' which I have never done. I know I am a compulsive eater and get my kicks from eating sweets and carbs. I know I need to deal with this. I want to walk down the aisle healthy and fit, not overweight and self-conscious. I want to be healthy for my husband and to be able to carry children.

I know I need to do something, and I thought lap-band was the answer. I've read the books, and I know it's certainly not a miracle worker, it's a tool. But I'm afraid I won't be successful. I thought this would be the kick I need to get into shape and eat right. I know I can work hard - but I'm just really doubting my will power lately. I usually do eat pretty healthy and exercise, except for the occasional sweets/carbs binge - but since the pre-op diet I have been terrible. I want everything in sight and have indulged a few times.

I don't know what to do. I keep praying for the answer, but I guess I'm not listening well enough.

I have my first meeting with the surgeon on Wednesday and feel ashamed to tell him I'm uncertain of my decision for surgery. I don't want to waste his time. I'm just so embarrassed and disgusted with myself today. I want this to work for me. I know these are real fears and I don't know if I should just go through with it or not.

I'm so sorry for rambling on, I just needed to get this out.

Should I put this surgery off?

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The anxiety and doubt you are experiencing is so normal. I had them too, but being 5 months post op, I wish I had done it sooner. As far as I'm concerned, for me, the lapband is my one of my miracle workers. It makes losing weight easier and sustanable although you still must do your part. It is your decision and you must be 100% sure that this is what you want and you're willing to do what it takes to make the band work for you. I trust you will make the decision to do what's in your best interest. Good luck!

I'm scheduled for surgery on 2/18 and am having SERIOUS second thoughts. I'm 24 years old, just got engaged and am considering a job change to be closer to home. It's been a hectic start to the year and I'm feeling overwhelmed and terrified.

I didn't have any doubts until I got approved a few weeks ago - then the anxiety set in. I want to be healthy and eat 'normally' which I have never done. I know I am a compulsive eater and get my kicks from eating sweets and carbs. I know I need to deal with this. I want to walk down the aisle healthy and fit, not overweight and self-conscious. I want to be healthy for my husband and to be able to carry children.

I know I need to do something, and I thought lap-band was the answer. I've read the books, and I know it's certainly not a miracle worker, it's a tool. But I'm afraid I won't be successful. I thought this would be the kick I need to get into shape and eat right. I know I can work hard - but I'm just really doubting my will power lately. I usually do eat pretty healthy and exercise, except for the occasional sweets/carbs binge - but since the pre-op diet I have been terrible. I want everything in sight and have indulged a few times.

I don't know what to do. I keep praying for the answer, but I guess I'm not listening well enough.

I have my first meeting with the surgeon on Wednesday and feel ashamed to tell him I'm uncertain of my decision for surgery. I don't want to waste his time. I'm just so embarrassed and disgusted with myself today. I want this to work for me. I know these are real fears and I don't know if I should just go through with it or not.

I'm so sorry for rambling on, I just needed to get this out.

Should I put this surgery off?

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I say go through with the surgury. I promise you will not be sorry. it is much easier to diet with the band. Good luck!

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you should tell your surgeon - I know he has heard it before and he will understand

I wanted to rip the band out at first but now I am so glad I have it

I eat so much less it is amazing - but I do miss eating the foods -- they were a comfort

I do not think that will ever change - but remember it is hard at first and you will adapt-

you will be so happy walking down the aisle at a thinner weight

this is not easy at all but you can do it

- chewing very slowly is the key

and do not drink when you eat -- which I still do sometimes but I do not drink much

how does your soon to be husband feel about your decision

I think the best thing is that I will not gain any weight back that I lose

you know how the yo-yo dieting is-

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I think everyone has second thoughts the closer they get to surgery. As far as wanting and eating everything in sight, that is the Last Supper Syndrome, thinking you will never have it again.

The choice is obviously up to you, but I can assure you that you can do it. I am proof of that. You can still have some things, only in moderation. I still indulge occassionally, but mostly make the right choices.

You just need to ask yourself: How much do you want to take back your health? You will then find your answer.

No matter what you choose, good luck to you.

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I think you're very smart to wonder, and I think discussing with your surgeon is good advice. Honestly, if you graze and snack, bypass may be the smarter choice. If you just eat large meals, or can handle "emotional" or head hunger, then the band is a good choice. Diet and exercise has dismally low success rates and you are young; to get a handle on your weight now is a gift you could give yourself, your fiance, and your life to come. Its your choice. It is big and scary.

Ask your surgeon by all means.

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I thank you all sooo much for your response and support, I really appreciate it with all my heart. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

I've been so blessed with a future-husband who loves me just the way I am, but wants me to be healthy for our lives together. Praise God!

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Your feelings are totally natural. I wasn't nervous at all until I got my actual surgery date, then all of a sudden doubts came flooding in. You have to be sure this is for you. It is a decision that you have to be totally commited to. I have not regreted it one second. Well ok, maybe a second the first couple days when I was in pain but that passed. Keep praying. HE will give you an answer! Take Care

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I hope that you will talk to your Dr or nutritionalist. They will help you with your decision and will help you through the cravings. You need to up your Protein if you are thinking about eating. My dietition says that you need to eat at least 70 grams of protein per day, that is through shakes and food. If you are not sure how successful you will be with the band ask about other weight loss procedures. The sleve is the next procedure that is not as dramatic as a gastric bypass. Do some research on that and if you like that, call your Dr and talk with him about doing that unstead of the LapBand. This is a tool, it will not keep you away from the foods that we all love, but at least you can't eat as much as you would have! It is natural to feel this way and it is totally natural to eat things that are not on your "diet". Remember you are not on a "diet" you are making better food choices. Good luck!

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Your right the band is a tool and will not help you to select food. You can eat foods with the band, which will cause you to gain weight, which really defeats the purpose of the band.

If you have an issue with snacking and eating sweets and carbs, you might want to consider the by-pass surgery. Talk to your doctor and get his/her recommendation.

Good luck!

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Hi Melissa,

Its Melissa I really hope you keep pushing forward. I had the same thoughts that you are having right now and know you need to let that thought set in a little. What would you do or how would you feel about yourself if you didn't continue? I don't know if that is an issue but maybe just giving you some food for thought. I go in tomorrow morning for my surgery its at 7:45 am. I will keep in touch and yes talk to your doctor...be totally honest with them on what you are thinking and doing....hope that helps.

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It's like pre-wedding jitters.

After I did everything I was supposed to (nutritionist, psych eval, note from my PCP) I called the office to make what I thought was my pre-op appt and instead they scheduled the surgery... I thought I was sure until then but once I had a date I had second thoughts. However, I went ahead, and I am SO glad I did!!

With regard to the last supper thing- unless you're too tight you should be able to eat just about anything post op that you eat now... but you'll want less of it, and will be motivated by the commitment you've made to yourself, and by the weight loss, to make healthier choices.

Best of luck!

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