Serious Second Thoughts
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I'm scheduled for surgery on 2/18 and am having SERIOUS second thoughts. I'm 24 years old, just got engaged and am considering a job change to be closer to home. It's been a hectic start to the year and I'm feeling overwhelmed and terrified.
I didn't have any doubts until I got approved a few weeks ago - then the anxiety set in. I want to be healthy and eat 'normally' which I have never done. I know I am a compulsive eater and get my kicks from eating sweets and carbs. I know I need to deal with this. I want to walk down the aisle healthy and fit, not overweight and self-conscious. I want to be healthy for my husband and to be able to carry children.
I know I need to do something, and I thought lap-band was the answer. I've read the books, and I know it's certainly not a miracle worker, it's a tool. But I'm afraid I won't be successful. I thought this would be the kick I need to get into shape and eat right. I know I can work hard - but I'm just really doubting my will power lately. I usually do eat pretty healthy and exercise, except for the occasional sweets/carbs binge - but since the pre-op diet I have been terrible. I want everything in sight and have indulged a few times.
I don't know what to do. I keep praying for the answer, but I guess I'm not listening well enough.
I have my first meeting with the surgeon on Wednesday and feel ashamed to tell him I'm uncertain of my decision for surgery. I don't want to waste his time. I'm just so embarrassed and disgusted with myself today. I want this to work for me. I know these are real fears and I don't know if I should just go through with it or not.
I'm so sorry for rambling on, I just needed to get this out.
Should I put this surgery off?